It’s been almost 5 years since we’ve met and he stole my heart. It took him a year after we met to commit to making me his gf, which only lasted 7 months before he was caught cheating and called things off because he wasn’t “ready.” We are 2 years apart in age (currently he’s 26 and I’m 28). We came back together after he begged me to forgive him and swore he was ready, which lasted 5 months before he was caught cheating again and I called things off because he admitted he still wasn’t ready.

That was now 2.5 years ago, and since then we have gone from radio silence to hooking up, Spending holidays with each other’s families, spending birthdays and New Year’s Eves together…yet, he still won’t commit 100%. The chemistry we have is undoubtable. We are best of friends, talking all day when we are speaking to each other. But given we’ve lived on two separate coasts these 5 years, his age, his playboy status, our pursuits as new attorneys…he know longer talks about marrying me,kids with me, or a future with me (the prospects of bf, engaged, etc.). Today, I vowed to just stop all contact. I didn’t tell him, but given my age, that for us to be together I’d have to relocate (which he hasn’t asked), and my desire to get married and be a couple for a few years befor having kids, I felt it best to move on. Finally. I’ve dated people only in the last year but none of them have had the chemistry or friendship my ex and I have. I feel like, the fact I don’t even know what it’s like to have all of him (without him cheating or even in the same city) that waiting on him any longer than these 5 years would be an injustice to myself at almost 30. But why do I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice? Have I?