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I don't know what's right

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  • January 17, 2017 at 10:34 am #125545
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear cel639:

    Reads to me that staying in Austin is the right thing for you to do, very much so.

    To de-confuse you, if I may: there is no such godly entity as The Universe breaking your phone, your computer, causing your breakup and so forth, trying to deliver a message to you: go live with your mother.

    What happened to you is a series of coincidences: things happening in close proximity of time.

    Others may disagree, as faith in a god who is sending individuals signs, from a “burning bush” to dreams… the appearance of a bird at sunset (making this one up)- this is a matter of faith and religion. I don’t believe in such.

    anita

    January 17, 2017 at 10:46 am #125547
    Catherine L.
    Participant

    Do you think it’s a bad idea to keep living with my ex? I feel like it’s helping me to grow in lots of ways, but can definitely see why it could impede both of our healing. The ways it’s helping me to grow though are: forcing me to really let go and rid myself of feelings of jealousy and control, allowing me to live where I want and in the house I chose, giving me impetus to change the part of myself that are not serving me anymore. The way it’s hurting me though are: jealousy at the thought of him dating someone else, having a reminder of what we used to have and what I don’t have any more. Those feelings are fading as time moves on though, and as I keep working within this larger change. I’m becoming more and more accepting that I cannot control whether or when we will get back together, and accepting that life will unfold in the way that it is meant to. I just don’t want to completely botch my chances either.

    January 17, 2017 at 11:04 am #125559
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear cel639:

    You wrote that you “can definitely see why it (continuing to live with your ex) could impede both of our healing”-

    First, worry about your healing only- his healing is for him to think about and evaluate. You wrote that you broke up probably because you got lost in the relationship- well, don’t get lost now. His healing is his business, not yours. Your healing is your business.

    Reads to me like it is a good idea to continue to live with him, in the same house, at the moment. After all you are not employed yet. When you are employed, then you can consider living away.

    Focus on your life, making it better. That will serve you and it is your best chance of possibly resuming a relationship with him in the future. Your best chance is to not function the way you did before, being focused on him, but to function differently: focus on you, on your well being, your life getting better and better.

    anita

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