Dear Tinkerbell,

I normally don’t like to jump the gun and say it but it’s best to give the relationship a break for now. Every couple has a different dynamic and the equation between you two is such that you press eachothers buttons the wrong way.

He is a tortoise who retreats into a shell while you are bunny who hops around at a different speed when the fire starts.

Indeed such differences can arise between couples – it is not possible to be on same wavelength emotionally all the time.

However, the basic mismatch is evident here. This equation has worsened your anxiety and has made him more aloof – mutually unsustainable states. Find a partner who meets your needs and try to keep your needs within a reasonable level too. You are responsible for your own emotions and can’t control people just because you happen to be in a relationship with them.

You have gone to another guy while you are with him. You may have abandonment issues but shaking the integrity of the relationship at a weak momement is worrisome. How would you feel if he did this to you? Something is clearly wrong here and you need to be more aware of why you are reacting this way in these situations.

I suggest you seek some professional help to deal with your own emotions better

Regards
Nina