Dear Community,

I am a young professional with a comfortable job, a caring boyfriend, and supportive friends. I’ve always been ambitious, but for a little over a year, I have not made any progress on achieving my goals, mostly due to a lack of focus on my end and a lack of challenges in my workplace. My life is busy, but to be constantly moving does not mean that I’m actually getting anywhere. This lack of growth is destroying my self-esteem and affecting my relationships.

I would appreciate your thoughts on some ways that I could make better use of my time, and any insights you might have on where I am devoting too little or not enough of my time, money, and energy. Thank you so much if you are willing to weigh in.

#1: Career
My #1 goal is to make headway on a career change. I have a Bachelor’s degree in a political science field, and have been working in the private industry doing government affairs… it’s a great job, I’m good at it, and I’ve build a large network that is beneficial to my organization. However, I don’t want to stay in this field because while I obviously want to keeping advancing, but I’m not learning anymore due to the lack of mentors and opportunities at my organization, and I realized that I am not inspired by those at the top of my industry, even at other organization. I don’t know exactly what I want to do next, and I’m not entirely sure what skills I need, but I want to at least start trying new career ventures this year, even if that means taking a slight pay cut (but not starting at my entry level salary again!).

Steps I’ve taken to achieve my #1 goal: I’ve started studying for the GMAT to prepare myself to go back to business school, but I’ve already rescheduled my test once because of under-preparing for it. Finding time to study can be challenging, becuase in addition to my hobbies that I’ll elaborate on later, I’m often am asked to attend political functions on nights and weekends, and when my planned study time is interrupted, it often is left unfinished. As far as finding a new job or freelance work that will provide a professional challenge and learning experience– I’ve let my friends know that I’m looking for a next step, although this hasn’t led to any leads or substantive advice. I am considering taking an online course that teaches skills for some industries that I think I’d eventually like to pursue, but I need to take the GMAT first, one thing at a time. Last year I spent a significant amount of time doing community organizing to try to gain more diverse skills in government advocacy, but I can’t say I’ve gained many skills, contacts, or even a sense of fulfillment from that so I haven’t pursued volunteer work since. To be honest, I think I spend more time fantasizing about #1 than actually working on it.

#2: Home Life
My #2 goal is to run a better household. My current boyfriend is my first serious relationship, and while I always thought I’d grow up to lead a warm household like my (successful career-woman) mother, suddenly having another person around the apartment makes me realize that I’ve procrastinated learning many of the domestic skills that I admired in her. I want to learn to cook basic meals, keep a practical closet, have better control of my finances, and still make time for romance.

#3: The Extracurriculars… for better or for worse
My final goal is to not let my new pursuits completely takeover my previous activities that I enjoy. Exercise is a huge part of my life, I run or bike multiple times each week, attend occasional yoga classes, and play competitive sports. These activities are what I look forward to most every day, are probably some of the things people find most interesting about me, and contribute to a healthy physique that I value. I want to continue to exercise vigorously everyday, but something has to give.
I currently spend $100/month on my boxing gym, a hobby I’ve had for a year now. My coach has become a mentor in both boxing and life, and I’ve made a lot of new friends at the gym who introduced me to attending fights and the boxing ‘subculture’, if you will. However, the gym doesn’t open until 7 AM, which is not conducive to my plan to wake up earlier (I need to start the day with exercise, or I won’t wake up… I can’t start with studying and then go to the gym for example). While I love the sport of boxing and the community, I may be spending too much money and productive day-time hours that could be better used studying or learning new professional or domestic skills.
I also play basketball once a week at night and the women on my team have become my main social circle. However, at $90 for an 8-game season, I’m not sure that the price is worth it… plus I always find myself rushing to the late night games, and feeling sleepy the morning after, so the league itself isn’t that enjoyable.
I am considering ending both the boxing and the basketball to save time and money, and be able to work out on my own schedule at a regular gym (would be $25/month with my insurance and is jogging distance from my apartment, very convenient.) I know this option will leave me with more day-time hours for other pursuits, but I wonder if this route will suck the joy out of my fun fitness hobbies and some of my most treasured social hours of the week.
I probably go out with my friends 1 night on the weekends, and occasionally have a drink or dinner on weeknights with friends. I want to maintain friendships, but honestly, when someone asks me to get drinks or dinner, a wave of anxiety/guilt crashes down on me because I don’t want to reject plans, but it’s extremely difficult for me to make time for these things.
*Note: at my current job, I work alone most of the day and don’t have many co-workers. If I begin exercising alone, I don’t know if the lack of social interaction will harm my well-being as I’m an extrovert. Finally, I spend about 1.5+ hours each day driving to work. Another hidden time-suck and time spent completely alone!

I appreciate you reading this far. I’d love to hear any thoughts you might have… maybe you’ve noticed something about my time commitments that I haven’t. People with children might have zero sympathy for me, but may also have the best advice on accomplishing tasks every day. Please help me focus on what matters!

Thank you.