Dear greenshade:

You wrote that the offending co workers’ response to your mistake was “laughing about it quite loudly”- but later you wrote that you were offended that “they had not let me know they were upset by it.”-

I am curious as to why you think that they were upset by your mistake- it reads to me that if they were laughing about it, they were entertained and amused, not upset. What do you think?

anita

Dear greenshade:

Reads to me like they were entertained at your expense. They were laughing because they were having fun. When they saw you they stopped laughing because their fun was at your expense.

The title of your thread is: “is this how people really behave?”

– as you witnessed yourself, it is really how people behave. What to do about it?

1. Notice if you yourself engage in such behavior that you disapprove of (understandably)and stop such if you do. If you are in a group of co workers and someone makes fun of a co worker not present, say something like: this is not fair to make fun of people. We all make mistakes and it feels badly to be made fun of.

2. Since you can’t NOT make mistakes, when you do make a mistake, don’t share about it if you don’t have to and don’t add details to it if it is already known, this way you don’t give material to others to use for fun, at your expense.

3. You can consider approaching a group of people laughing and confront them, saying something like: I noticed you all stopped laughing when I looked at you/ came in, is your joke NOT for me to enjoy as well… or is it at my expense?

anita

Dear Greenshade,

I was here to sort my problem but since I read your post, icould not hold back but reply.
I think, it’s we who allow people to behave with us in that way. I had also experienced such thing at my workplace. Initially, I was hurt but then once I reacted and told my boss I dint like the way you make a joke of me. That is disrespect. What he said moved me, he said it’s not only you, it’s generally an atmosphere of pulling each other in a healthy way. You too can crack jokes and see we will take it sportively. I thought and then soon started cracking jokes on other, n took the jokes abt me lightly. I laughed at my jokes. But I am smart to crack the level of jokes as funny as they crack on me. After some time, others understood the healthy boundary that they should maintain while cracking jokes on me. I also then followed the same. I remember, a colleague saying that I cracked a joke which he dint like and I reminded him jokingly that it was a tit for tat for some joke he cracked on me few weeks back. He understood the healthy boundary. Now it’s all jokes in office and no one is offended.
You too can tackle such situations smartly. By conveying then the healthy boundaries through their own joking way.
Hope this helps.