Dear lili1218:
From what you shared, what you told your boyfriend was not abusive. The fact that you were upset is understandable. Your birthday is an important day for you and you were very disappointed he wasn’t going to visit you on this important day. You asked if this is going to be “a big deal”-
I don’t know. What you said to him (shared on this thread) doesn’t sound to me like a big deal. The fact that he didn’t contact you today, on your birthday- this does sound to me like a big deal.
I am sorry your birthday is not happier than it is. If you read this still on your birthday, I wish you as pleasant a birthday as you can have.
If you’d like to post more, maybe add more details to that last time you communicated with him, so that I can understand more than I do now, please do.
anita