So my life seems to have come to an abrupt, but expected crash. Started with the election on Tuesday night. And not because Trump won or Hillary lost, but because I realized that we live in a very toxic ignorant world. I was shaken, but realized it will pass. Then my manager bitch slapped me for doing my job. Without too many details, there was a lot of BS and my words were twisted and taken out of context. The next day I was told by my grandma that I betrayed our family because I stood up for myself. Meanwhile, I am going through a possible separation from my wife.

I don’t remember the last time I felt so hopeless. I hate my profession. My family has abandoned me. My wife is whatever about me. I have absolutely no one who cares about me. I feel weak and disgusted with myself. I wish I could just die. If not for my dog I probably would. I know that it will take hard work to get out of this, but I don’t know what it is that I have to do. I’m so lost and hopeless that the only thing I can do at point is cry like a baby. I don’t ever cry, but I can’t stop crying now. I see a black hole and nothing else. I would be so much happier if I quit my job, but I have bills and loans and a family to support. I would leave my wife, but she won’t make it on her own. I want to have a family, but not when I am treated like this. I don’t know what to do anymore. Wish I was not here. Wish I was never born. I was a mistake and I can’t deal with this world anymore. I tried for 39 years, but I can’t anymore