Dear lettingitgo:

Clearly you should not return to your bus driving job. Take a break immediately, or quit, but do not return to the job effective immediately. Because, as you wrote, you sometimes zone out when driving. And so, your life and the life of the children on your bus, as well as other people using the roads, are at risk.

You wrote that a con against leaving the job, for you, is that ” if I leave now everyone will know or think it’s because of the circumstances and I will be even more ashamed and embarrassed “-

While you still attend your job, the people involved, the people who hurt you, are not harmed and still, as you wrote: ” they are constantly putting their relationship in my face.” So it is not harming them that you keep your job and it will make no difference to them if you take a break or quit it.

Regarding your shame, I wonder what it is about? When we feel shame, as I know it, we believe that there is something wrong with us, that we are defected or inferior. What I don’t understand is what about the circumstances you described make you believe these things about yourself?

anita

Dear lettingitgo:

It will be difficult to let it go (your user name) living in a small town and bumping into the same people.

The fact that you were betrayed does not indicate that there is something wrong or shameful about you.

You were hurt, betrayed. I was too. And I too thought it was my fault, that I caused it, something I did or didn’t do. But in my case, after many years, I realize it was not my fault. The person who hurt and betrayed me did so because (she) was not a decent person. Her behavior was an indication of who SHE was, not of who I was.

See the difference?

anita