I’m 28-years-old and told my mom today that I didn’t want to talk to her again.

When I was less than 3-years-old, she had a drug problem. My dad tried to get her help and she wouldn’t. They got a divorce and he got full custody of me. She’d often leave and eventually was caught trying to sell drugs and went to prison. When she got out, she was in and out of my life. When I was a child I had a “college fund” started at the bank and extra money and birthday gifts in the form of money from family would go into the account. My mom went to the bank, withdrew every last penny, and never repaid it.

She’s always been a heavy smoker and once in grade school I told her I was afraid for her health because in class we learned that some people get sick from smoking (as well as second hand smoke). She told me she’d open a window, pull up a chair, and let me sit there until she was done with her cigarette if I felt so worried.

We had our ups and downs, but in my adult life she settled down a little and I wanted to still have her as a part of my life in some capacity. 3.5 years ago I went through a break-up where my ex-fiancé called off our wedding. I needed to get back up on my feet (and was also dealing with health issues at the time). My mom told me she would take care of my dog (who I bought and paid for) for as long as I needed and when I was in a better position I could take him back.

My dog has been with my mom and step dad for 2 years. I recently learned they had serious drug charges filed against them after a search warrant. They haven’t been formally convicted, but it’s likely they’ll both serve some sort of jail time.

I asked her if I could pick up my dog and her and my step dad were cooperative… until the day before we were supposed to meet. My step dad called me saying he was essentially their dog now and they hadn’t been formally convicted yet and he “doesn’t think they will be.” He also told me to shut up on the phone and said several outrageous things. My mom also wasn’t cooperative (she wouldn’t tell me their work schedule, said my dog would be locked in their house, and she wouldn’t provide me with a key).

I’ve had it. This was the last straw and I’ve decided I no longer want her in my life. She brings me sadness and heartache.

Any suggestions for starting this “new chapter” of my life without her?