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At the 'BEGGING' stage

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  • September 20, 2016 at 10:02 am #115708
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mommalicious:

    This is a way to shorten the duration of that feeling you hate, the desperation (“I hate the desperation I feel”- stop hating it.

    This is a very important principle that will save you a lot of time and pain: to not add a second unpleasant feeing to the first unpleasant feeling you have.

    When you feel desperate, that is bad enough, right? On top of it you feel hate. If you stop the second feeling, then overall there is less distress, less suffering.

    How do you stop hating the desperation? By focusing on self empathy in place of the hate. The desperation you feel for him is fueled by your emotional attachment to him. Emotional attachment is very natural and starts with a baby being emotionally attached to a parent. Have empathy for yourself, being attached to him as you are.

    anita

    September 22, 2016 at 4:04 pm #115954
    Richard
    Participant

    It’s brutal. In my situation I’m so clear that it’s chasing ghosts. Trying to get vaildation someone who I have grafted my early trauma onto, despite my wanting to leave the relationship because of the constant fighting.

    The truth is that the begging stage for me is me begging me to turn towards myself. To give myself the love that I am seeking from someone who can no longer or couldn’t give it. I sincerely wish you well. It’s very hard to go through this, because abandonment is not logical.

    Sending love.

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