Hi Pipercub,
I’m going to say something that may be hard to come to terms with.

That fantastic relationship you had before, is not going to come back. Those extras you both had with each other, using your own words, unveiled those parts of your relationship that made it what it was. The parts you didn’t feel, the parts you didn’t know, the parts you had were the right combination and made it the strong friendship it was.

Your relationship has now changed forever. You are going to need to start realizing it for what it is, with a great deal of work you will start accepting it for the new relationship it is becoming. The future will be different for you both, I am sure his feelings towards you have changed and am also quite sure he wishes that you hadn’t slept together also.

In terms of having a relationship with him, I doubt now it would even feel the same as the spiritual, physical and emotional parts of it have all changed.

For now I would try to analyse the situation for what it is.

I had a rather large argument with a friend of mine who I’d known since I was 6 years old, I am 29 now. The past 4 years of our friendship has been almost non-existent due to this argument. Very sad indeed but it was all that was needed to change our thoughts of each other. We occasionally talk and have arranged to have a few beers with the third musketeer in a few weeks. I am looking forward to it though now in my mind I am meeting an old friend, not my best friend.

I realize this post is not very helpful though I want it to resonate with you, I feel reading this now will possibly give you an easier ride.

All the best, Si.

I hope the words were not hurtful, I’ve learn’t through experience that if news is going to hurt, it’s best being told fully at the earliest possible time. With time you will begin to see things differently, how that will go for you I honestly do not know, however there is always light at the end of the tunnel. This is not the end of everything, merely the start of something new, though I can understand that it is very difficult to see it as such, almost impossible.

It is indeed sad when relationships break down or are changed. I do often think about him and wonder what it would be like if we were still best of friends, though this does not help me, it is what it is, we are both upset with the fact that it happened and how we now feel about each other. That was one of life’s lessons for us.

I understand that you’re unsure on how to manage the situation, it may be that this is a situation is not one that you can manage, maybe it is one that will unfold in front of you. The key is to accept whatever happens next, change what you can and most importantly do not take anything personally as this is a stage in life. It has not been planned.

How do you feel today? Have you heard from him or have you tried to make contact? Have any unsuspecting doors opened?

All the best, Si.