Dear maddie22:

I am glad you don’t have contact with your abusive parents and that your boyfriend is not abusive toward you.

You carry anger and distrust from your childhood and from earlier in the relationship with your boyfriend. The injuries from childhood, those do not disappear just because we are no longer children. Time doesn’t cure those either. Maybe you can attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring therapist to help you heal from your childhood abuse. That will take care of your under the surface, easily triggered anger.

It is a good thing you talk a lot with your boyfriend. When you feel anger, share it with him without blaming him for your anger. Talk to him in a way that doesn’t attack him, accuse him or abuse him. Show him empathy and take in his empathy for you. Be best friends first.

anita

Dear maddie22:

You are welcome. It needs to be a competent, caring therapist, not just any therapist. Prepare yourself with information on how you can evaluate a therapist for his/ her competence and empathy before you interview one. Please do post again,

anita