Dear vincenzz2:

I lost you somewhere at the end. Let me know if I understand correctly: currently you are not in a relationship with (a) or (b). (a) had a boyfriend when you confessed to her that you had strong feelings for her, then broke up with that boyfriend and is now dating your best friend. You are obsessed with (a). ???

anita

Dear vincenzz2:

After (a) separated from her boyfriend and before she started dating your best friend, how is it that she didn’t get together with you? I thought she was interested…?

anita

And what exactly did you do? Can you restate what you did in one or two sentences?

anita

Dear vincenzz2:

If I was you, I wouldn’t label myself “a cruel person” as you have in your original post. Such a label is not justified based on what you shared. You left your crush and she was heartbroken. This will happen again: there will be people hurt by your actions and there will be actions by others that will hurt you in the future, no matter how … good you are.

To “cause no harm”- to minimize the hurt you cause and the hurt you experience, pay attention to what you do and be fair to yourself and to others. Do not mislead, be straightforward about your intentions and feelings. When conflicted, when not sure, state that. Communicate honestly and openly. Don’t “confess” everything, be selective as to what you say, and make it honest.

Your crush, she lost her loving feelings for you, so that is the consequence of the interaction between the two of you. I hope you can learn what you can from the experience, figure out what you are responsible for in the interactions between the two of you, and what she is responsible for. Once you figure who is responsible for what, you will gain clarity, I believe, and be able to move on.

Post again, anytime.

anita