Thanks Anita, sorry I’ve taken so long to get to this but I somehow missed it.
I would say yes, certainly I felt no I was shamed for having emotions and not wanting to do things that my parents wanted me to do. I don’t remember much of my childhood, but I do remember that been times when my father would say now look what you’ve done you’ve upset your mother, that sort of thing. I ever remember always feeling different and odd, feeling like I was a burden, I was too much. I would be called to clingy, a drama queen, and attention seeker but the shame is the something different? I just found ashamed of being me. I feel like I can’t do anything that I want I have to think about everybody else, I have to please everybody else otherwise I am on grateful for I am selfish. I’m selfish… Yes selfish is a strong belief – ingrained.. . I have to keep myself small. And I couldn’t be happy because if I was happy then I would be shamed. And I think that is now why I choose not to let myself be happy, I keep myself small.