“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown
I grew up believing that nothing I did was ever good enough, and this is something that I still carry with me.
It affects every aspect of my life: my hobbies, skills, my relationships, and even the understanding I have of my body, physical appearance, and my mental health. I often think that I must have done something quite terrible in a past life to go through any of this, to not be good enough.
As certain as I’ve been of this, I’ve been sure I wasn’t responsible for these attitudes and beliefs. That other people did this to me, so I literally can’t let go of the pain they caused. They hurt me too much, did too much damage for me to confront them, stand up to them, and forgive them.
But blaming others hasn’t helped me move on and become the person I want to be.
It’s helped me stay a victim, sure—got me some sympathetic ears along the way—but it hasn’t helped me get out of bed with a smile every morning for the past twenty-odd years. It’s made me feel sluggish and sick to my stomach whenever the thoughts and memories worked their way into my consciousness.
There’s no mystery to the way I think. Negative thinking is exactly that: negative. However, understanding negative thoughts is paramount to overcoming them. (more…)