Tiny Buddha

Tag: suggestion

  • Knowing Which Advice is Right

    Knowing Which Advice is Right

    “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

    The old cliché, “I say tomayto, you say tomahto,” has been popping up in my head recently, mainly because of a lesson I recently learned after years of trial and error.

    For the last several years, I have been closely listening to and reading the advice of “experts” on subjects related to life, love, business, and the pursuit of happiness. I have come to an astonishing (for me, anyway) conclusion: Everybody is right, and everybody is wrong.

    Confused? Allow me to explain with an example.

    About 18 months ago, I changed careers from newspaper journalism to insurance sales. When I first started in the insurance industry, my boss told me that to be successful I would have to not let “no” bother me. Just keep trucking, let that rejection roll like water off a duck’s back, he would say.

    He also told me persistence was a major key to selling life insurance. Keep calling clients, even if they blow you off a few (or in one case, many) times.

    His advice worked with one client. I literally called her a dozen or more times. She bought insurance, and then canceled.

    I scheduled a follow-up appointment to find her some more affordable insurance. She canceled. Another follow-up appointment scheduled. Another canceled. This literally went on for three months.

    Finally, we were able to get the insurance she was looking for at a price she could afford.

    After writing that application, my boss (let’s call him Jay) said, “Let this be a lesson on the power of persistence.”

    A few weeks later, my boss’s boss (let’s call him Brent) gave me some very different advice: “Never call a potential client more than five or six times. It makes you look desperate.”

    I have learned that, in many cases, this advice is also true. Calling too many times will certainly not work on a lot of clients. But, in the above-mentioned example, it did work.

    So, I asked myself, “Whose advice is right, and whose is wrong?” (more…)

  • Overcoming the Power of Suggestion: Make Your Own Choices

    Overcoming the Power of Suggestion: Make Your Own Choices

    “People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their version of reality.” ~Unknown

    I’m often open to suggestion. I like to gather opinions and feedback about my writing so that I can use it to improve the impact and make it a better read.

    The thing I’ve learned about listening to other people’s thoughts on my writing is that sometimes what seems like good advice is little more than personal preference; changing an image or an entire scene to suit one person isn’t always the right path, especially if my gut is saying, “You know you don’t want to do that.”

    Now that I am working on a novel, I realize how easy it’s been to sway me, not just in my decisions but also in my thoughts.

    Have you ever taken a different route to a party or family event because the person in the passenger seat told you to? How about putting those comfy, though slightly old trainers in the bottom of the closet because your partner thinks they look shabby?

    It’s a given that we’ve all spent money on something we don’t need because we’ve been lured by the suggestion of T.V. and big companies that appeal to our desire to happy. I bet some people have even given up on dreams because someone else has said they’d be better off aiming a bit lower.

    There’s a difference between valid advice and suggestions based on self-interest.

    There are times when my view of reality gets distorted, when I’m stressed or upset. Once I’ve calmed down, I often acknowledge that my perception was overblown, although a grain of truth often remains.

    It’s frustrating when someone else negates my experiences—essentially saying there is no grain of truth. (more…)