Tag: stresses

40 Ways to Create Peace of Mind

“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” ~Brian Tracy

There was a time when I thought peace was a destination, in much the same way I imagined I’d eventually arrive at happiness or success.

It seemed like something I needed to chase or find—definitely not something I could experience without dramatically changing my life.

I needed to work less, relax more, and generally revamp my circumstances and relationships in order to be a peaceful person.

Despite seeing peace as an endpoint, I also saw it as something passive; after all, that’s why I was so stressed: I had so much to do.

I’ve since realized that peace is always available, and like any desirable state of mind, it requires effort, even if that effort entails consciously choosing to be still.

Sure, our circumstances affect our mental state, but they don’t have to control them, not if we make tiny choices for our well-being.

Admittedly, it’s not easy to choose peace when we’re going through tough times. I still go through periods when I get caught up in worries and stresses, and it can feel like that’s the only available response to things that have happened.

But it’s not. There are countless things we can do to create peace of mind, both in response to events in our lives, and proactively, everyday.

If you’d also like to develop a greater sense of peace, you may find these suggestions helpful: (more…)

October 19, 2017
7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life

“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Well into my twenties, all of my friendships with women looked a lot like junior high.

One day, we’d be codependent and attached at the hip, sending incessant play-by-play emails throughout the workday like one too many notes in class.

The next day, we’d be dragging each other by the hair into a heap of combined emotional issues, complete with nasty suspicions, unfounded accusations, and a dramatic reconciliation that would inevitably be short-lived.

Shortly after one toxic friendship eroded, I found a new one, like a mythological creature that regenerates its head immediately after it’s cut off. Things weren’t much different with the men I dated.

For a long time, I lamented all the damaging relationships I’d been in, as if I was some kind of victim who always got the short end of the stick.

Then one day I realized there was a reason I always found myself in dramatic relationships: I was attracted to drama like a moth to a flame.

Chaos was the status quo for the majority of my life, and when it wasn’t there, I panicked. I didn’t feel comfortable unless I was fighting someone or, at the very least, fighting myself.

The things I said and did contradicted each other because it was easier to blame the world and stay the same than it would be to really see myself and make a change.

You might not be a recovering drama queen like me, but you’ve probably encountered your share of relationship histrionics.

Maybe your close friend has as many catastrophes as there are days of the week. Maybe you’re the person everyone calls with their problems. Or maybe you unknowingly turn small issues into major crises, and you’d like to stop feeling so overwhelmed.

Whatever the case, you probably have at least a little drama in your life that you’d like to minimize.

With this in mind, I recently asked on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page: How do you minimize drama in your life? I took a sampling of the 183 responses and formulated this guide to defusing drama: (more…)

July 3, 2017
May You Have Many Worries

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My mother was what you might call a “professional worrier.” She worried with skill, power, and acumen.

She could incisively hone in on the most seemingly benign situation and find within it some kernel of trouble to worry about. Money. Health. Household. Children. Travel. Work. You name it, she worried about it. A lot.

That is until my father was diagnosed with cancer.

When my father became ill, my mother changed radically, and apparently overnight. Faced with the potential of the greatest loss of her life, she found that she was suddenly free of the many worries that had plagued her for all those many years.

In the wake of the most terrible news imaginable, the many troubles that had been burdening her suddenly fell away, like a heavy winter coat on an unexpectedly warm day. So, strangely and without warning, in the midst of a terrifying life-threatening crisis, my mother became a more light-hearted person.

(more…)

March 11, 2015
Simplify Your Life by Eliminating These 7 Problems

Life has a tendency to become overly complicated and stressful, particularly because things change so quickly. I’ve identified seven problems that you can eliminate to make your life a whole lot simpler (which doesn’t mean boring or less interesting).

Problem #1 – Too Much Responsibility

Think back to a year or two ago. How much extra responsibility has come into your life since then? You may have too much stuff, too many possessions, too many projects, and too many commitments.

Spreading yourself too thin reduces focus, increases stress, and lowers overall performance.

Too much stuff could include anything from a new cell phone to a new swimming pool to a bigger house. It might be nice to have more possessions and new gadgets, but they often come with responsibilities and maintenance. Ask yourself if you’re being owned by the things you own.

It’s also exciting to get caught up in many new hobbies or projects. I did this when I got into building websites. Before I knew it I was working on twenty projects at the same time and seeing minimal results across the board. It took me a while to realize that I was working like a maniac, yet none of my projects were anywhere near completion.

These days I’m only working on two to three projects in total. Not only do I feel more relaxed because it’s easier to keep track of what I have to do, but I can also see significant progress in my work month after month since I am doing less.

Try to simplify your life. Cut down your possessions, projects, and hobbies to relieve some of the responsibilities that you don’t really need to have. (more…)

September 22, 2011