Tag: smile
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How to Smile More Every Day (Even if Life Isn’t Perfect)
“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” ~Tom Wilson
I smile a lot.
In fact, yesterday I smiled eighty-seven times (I counted).
These aren’t fake smiles. They’re big, toothy, open-mouthed grins. And they’ve become a regular feature of my everyday life because I’ve been overcome with an immense happiness.
Everything I see, touch, breathe, and taste brings me delight.
It’s totally spontaneous and outrageously fun, and I want to share with you how it’s done.
What I Smile At
It could be the subtle texture of construction grating.
It could be the way a flower pops out of the background at an unforeseen moment.
It could be the way the sunlight glints off the window in the early morning.
But the thing that’s powering all these smiles is very simple.
Gratitude.
Most people smile when they get something.
We all like to smile when we receive a compliment, a surprise visit from a friend, or a big paycheck.
In other words, we’re happy when we receive a direct benefit.
But the way I see it, I’m the direct benefiter of everything happening around me.
The caw of a crow, the taste of a mandarin orange, the sound of a truck passing.
All of these things have made me smile today. I receive all of these things and am glad because of them.
So how can you smile more?
It’s simple really.
Be grateful for everything in your life.
It’s amazing what positive effects we experience once we begin to say, “Thank you!” for everything.
Thanks for the gift of life. Thanks for a delicious meal. Thanks for the smile of a stranger.
But the weird (and powerful) change I invite you to make is this:
Give thanks for even the seemingly negative things that come into your life.
Illness, pain, and loss are some of the most powerful teachers we have available. They reflect back to us the ways in which we need to grow. They show us the power that’s within us.
And they show us that life is incredibly precious.
For a few years I was in a really dark place. No home, no friends, no money. I slept outdoors in unfamiliar towns. I ate food stolen from dumpsters. I went days without talking to a single soul.
There were frigid nights when I would sleep in a construction site. I would curl up in the cab of an unlocked bulldozer because my body heat could warm the tiny compartment just enough to sleep a few hours before the crew came in at 6AM.
I was low.
But I appreciate this experience because it gave me fortitude to live anywhere. I no longer worry that I’ll be able to survive without food or shelter, because in tough situations, you get creative. You get resourceful. And you stop being afraid to ask for help.
Pay attention to the smallest details.
Right now I’m staring into the red of my ceramic coffee cup and just smiling my ears off. It’s too perfect not to.
But the coffee cup isn’t really just red.
As I look closer, I see infinite shades glancing off the glaze.
It’s reflecting the candy-cane stripes on a packet of sugar lying in the dish.
It’s reflecting a page of notes I’ve got in front of me.
And it’s following all the laws of light and shading, showing its brightest fire-truck vermillion face to the sun on one side, and a shadowy, murky maroon on the other.
Truly a glorious thing.
These details of experience are accessible to us everywhere, and they show us that no two things are alike.
Even things that we find offensive are opportunities for thankfulness once we begin to appreciate their details.
Plastic bottles on the street or decaying fruit, for example.
They all contain such marvellous detail that when you stop and pay attention, you can’t help but smile in thanks.
Write down your blessings.
Thousands of great things happen to us every day but we only seem to remember a few, while we remember most of the dull, unfortunate, or painful things that happen to us.
That’s not our fault; it’s just the way our brains are wired.
But we can overcome it.
That’s why it can be helpful to keep a notebook to jot down all the great things that happen to you daily.
Reflect on it when you’re feeling down. You’ll notice that even on your lowest days, things happened that touched you, that blessed you.
Don’t forget them!
Look at what is, not what isn’t.
Every time I look around, I think, “Wow, I’ve got a great life.”
I don’t have a lot. And yet, I live the happiest life imaginable because I’m looking at what is, not what isn’t.
Oftentimes we get caught up in worries about the future, giving substance to our negative thoughts.
We think, “If only I had a bit more money to pay the bills.”
“If only I didn’t have to worry about these aches and pains.”
“If only I had a little more time to spend with my family.”
Life isn’t the fantasies you have in your head—it’s what’s happening right now! All the great things around you are yours.
The sunshine hitting your face.
The smile of your kids and grandkids.
The exhilaration of going for a run and feeling your blood rush about in your marvellous arms and legs.
That’s all for you. And it makes me smile.
What made you smile today?
Smiling girl image via Shutterstock
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3 Steps To Embrace Your Beauty and Smile More Every Day
“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Is there anything more beautiful than a person smiling, or better yet, laughing? I don’t think so. It’s almost contagious.
You’ve likely seen the YouTube videos of babies laughing and couldn’t help but smile.
And there’s probably a special person in your life that only needs to smile and you feel your heart lift. Maybe it doesn’t even need to be someone you know. I’ve had this happen to me with a complete stranger.
When you see someone smiling from ear to ear, filled with joy, you can’t help but smile too. Am I right?
I live in a walk-able city, so I walk a lot. Sometimes I catch myself trying not to smile or laugh as I walk down the street remembering something funny. But then I’m reminded of this quote.
Why would I ever want to stifle my happiness and joy? Why would I ever want to hide my happiness?
One Sunday afternoon I was rollerblading along the beach path, feeling the sunshine on my face, listening to my favorite Spotify playlist, feeling good and smiling for these reasons, when a guy on a bike coming at me from the opposite direction reached out and high-fived me.
Seriously, how fun is that?
When my boyfriend calls me on my cell phone, I have it programmed so this silly, grinning picture of him pops up on my screen. It makes me smile every time I see it (which also makes it really tough to stay mad at him on the rare occasion that I am, because who can stay mad when they are smiling?).
Smiles breed more smiles.
Life is just better when you approach it with a smile. Plus, you really don’t know how much you can brighten someone else’s day with something so simple.
We tend to be so serious all of the time. We chart our course based on our to-do lists and we spend so much time worrying about the past or the future.
We set standards that we believe we need to measure up to in order to be beautiful, successful, important—and the bottom line of it all—to feel good enough.
When really, all any of us want is to feel like we matter. So, what if it’s not really about measuring up to any arbitrary yardstick?
What if the secret to feeling like we matter is as simple as looking for reasons to smile no matter what?
Your smile has the power to transform someone’s day, light up the room, change the vibe, and open you up to opportunities, love, connection, and the present moment.
Your smile can redirect your entire day toward possibility, fun, adventure, and being carefree.
I think smiling is the key to letting go and embracing how beautiful we (and life) are right now.
Here are three steps to embrace your beauty and smile more every single day.
1. Begin and end with you.
Most people open their eyes in the morning, roll out of bed, and just start banging away at all the stuff that needs to get done until they eventually climb back into bed exhausted, close their eyes, and then get up the next day to do it all over again.
Let’s not do this.
It sounds hokey, but what if you started your day with a smile… at yourself? Yes. Look at yourself in the mirror—into your own eyes—and smile.
Your smile has superpowers. So why not give that gift to yourself first thing when you start your day and right before you go to bed? It’s like setting an intention, only with action instead of words.
For the next week, give it a try. Look into the mirror, into your own eyes, and smile. Feel the love and the worthiness wash over you.
You are good enough. You are smart, beautiful, radiant, stunning, and your smile is a gift to anyone that gets the opportunity to witness it.
2. Beauty has nothing to do with perfection.
Especially here in the U.S., we have this very skewed perception of what beauty looks like. Thank goodness that is changing and we are beginning to understand that not one person on this planet is perfect. In fact, our flaws and imperfections are what make us special. They are endearing.
I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m imperfect. My nose is crooked, I have stretch marks, and I will spare you the rest of the boring details that you will probably say, “whoop-di-do” about because to you, they don’t seem like that big of a deal.
Let me tell you, for a long time, they were a big deal to me. My point is this: we all think our problems and imperfections are so noticeable or huge, when in reality, they really aren’t to anyone else but ourselves.
We are our own worst critics. People love you—all of you—including your imperfections.
3. Embrace what is while being eager for more.
That being said, it’s okay to want what you want. You want to lose twenty pounds, cut your hair, improve your wardrobe, make more money, buy a bigger house, or find the love of your life?
Go for it!!
It’s human nature to have desires, to want to expand and experience more.
But here’s the catch: do it from a place of inspiration and excitement, not from a place of fear or lack.
Life is not suddenly going to be puppy dogs and sunshine when you “get there.”
Look for every opportunity to smile and fall in love with life right now, while you are on your way to any goal that you have set for yourself, and I promise, life will be so much more fun and rewarding. Chasing after something in order to fill a void never pans out.
Being happy with what is, looking for things to appreciate, seeing the silver lining right here and now, smiling and laughing every day as much as you can, and being eager for more at the same time is the name of the “true happiness and fulfillment” game.
There are not many situations in life where a smile wouldn’t make things better. So look for reasons to smile.
Let your light shine. Smile at your loved ones, coworkers, friends, neighbors, and strangers on the street. Smiling breeds smiling, which brings more joy, and who doesn’t want more of that?
Give it a try and see how much lighter and happier you feel. Your smile is a beautiful gift. Share it.
Which of these steps are you most excited to practice first?
Smiling woman image via Shutterstock
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Being Kind to Others Is Being Kind to Yourself
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes
I moved to Vermont to work at a ski lodge the day after I turned twenty-two.
I had finished college six months earlier; September 11th had made finding a “real” job in my field pretty much impossible, and I was ready for adventure.
Somehow I had been hired to be the head waitress in the lodge’s basement eatery, where we served family-style meals every single morning and six nights a week.
I had no waitressing experience whatsoever; I’m pretty sure I was hired for this position because I was older than some of the other employees, had a college degree (uh, in studio art), and had worked at a concession stand at the beach for three summers during college. I mean, at least I had handled food before, right?
Up until this point, my customer service skills were severely stunted. I barely tolerated customers; I rarely even spoke to them. The extent of my “service” skills involved making sure they got the right kind of soda and correct change.
In fact, at my very first job, as a cashier at a big box store where I had to wear a blue vest, a customer actually complained about me to management. I didn’t smile, I wasn’t friendly, and I wasn’t helpful. (In my defense, I was sixteen. And wearing a blue vest.)
One night at the ski lodge, I’ll never forget this, a couple who had come to stay every single year for the past decade pulled me aside so the husband could tell me something in private. “Your attitude comes off as very distant and aloof. I can tell you’re just shy, but you seem very unfriendly.”
Whoa.
For some reason having this older gentleman tell me how I seemed to outsiders absolutely, completely turned me and my attitude around.
He was right—I was shy, and also uncertain about myself. I was afraid to be friendly, afraid to come out of my shell and potentially embarrass myself.
But I didn’t want to be seen as unfriendly and aloof. I wanted to connect with people, I just didn’t know how.
As the ski season went on, I did my best to make little changes: more eye contact, more smiles, more conversation. I can’t say I immediately saw a huge shift, but I was trying.
Fast-forward another couple of years: after traveling around the country for a while (even living in a tent at one point; aren’t your twenties great?), I ended up back at the ski lodge again. This time, I was hired to work at the front desk.
The front desk?? Where all the people were? All the time?
Yup, that front desk.
By this time the lodge had changed hands, and the new owner said something to me about how to talk on the phone with customers that left a lasting impression. She said, “Smile when you talk, because customers can hear it all the way through the phone.”
She was so right. I still think about that any time I’m on the phone with a customer or client.
I can’t tell you exactly what happened to me during that ski season, but by the time my parents came up for a visit in the spring and saw me in action, they were impressed with how friendly and confident I was with guests, but not nearly as impressed (and happy) as I was.
All of a sudden I loved helping people. I was thrilled when guests came to check in, adored giving restaurant recommendations, and was elated to tell prospective clients all that our area had to offer.
Suddenly, I realized how wonderful it was to be kind—being friendly to others actually made me happier!
I don’t know why for all those years I had thought keeping silent or being disgruntled was good for me—I guess I just didn’t know any different.
After a year in Vermont, I moved down to the mountains of North Carolina (just as pretty; a whole lot warmer), where I landed myself another hotel job, this time at an historic inn. Within a year or so I was running the front desk and was managing events, and I loved it!
Friday afternoons when we got a crush of people, ready to kick off their relaxing visit? Pure bliss for me!
Sunday mornings, when guests were checking out and wanted to reminisce about their weekend? Utter satisfaction!
A brunch where the quiche turned out just right and the hostess had properly impressed her friends? My work was done!
New Year’s Eve? Best night of the year! I actually put myself on for the late night shift (I was in charge of scheduling) so my employees could be off, but I could be part of the fun.
The same group of guests came to celebrate every year, and I’d walk the hallways, being invited into open rooms for a bite of fancy cheese or a swig of champagne.
I don’t know how to explain it, other than being kind and helping others completed something in me I didn’t even know was missing.
If you’ve ever felt like you wanted to connect more with others, to offer kindness and support, but feel too shy or nervous about the possibility of being rejected, I want to tell you that stepping out of your shell, even just a little bit, can bring enormous rewards.
Pick something that feels easy and comfortable to you. Do you have to be on the phone frequently for your job? Try smiling when you’re talking on the phone, even if you feel a little silly, even if the person on the other end is being difficult or unfriendly. I bet you’ll feel really good when you hang up.
Perhaps you notice a new participant in your yoga class, someone who seems uncertain and hangs in the back. Do whatever feels best—smile, wave, walk over and introduce yourself. Imagine if you were in the same position; wouldn’t it feel great for someone to reach out to you?
Ask coworkers if they need a hand with anything. Ask friendly questions of your new neighbor. Volunteer for a local charity or library.
Anything that connects you with others and allows you to flex your kindness muscle will do. You’ll be amazed to see that being kind makes other people happy, but brings an even greater joy to you.
After working at the inn for a few years I moved on to a hospitality job at the local airport, and from there realized that I wanted to expand my kindness and help others on an even more profound level, but there’s a part of me that will always miss working at a hotel.
Interacting with guests taught me so much about myself. It gave me so much confidence, and it taught me one of the most important lessons of my life: to be kind to others was to be kind to myself. I hope you’ll open your heart to learning the same lesson.
Kindness image via Shutterstock
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A Big Surprise for an Elderly Woman with a Big Heart
Think tiny gestures can’t make a big difference? Tinney disagrees. Every day, she greets students who pass her home with a smile and a wave. In this heartwarming video, they give something back to show their appreciation.
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10 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley
I was spending some time with my nephews not too long ago. This is one of my favorite things to do because we have a lot of fun together. They’re silly and loving and inquisitive, and it’s easy to make them laugh.
Spending time with them reminds me that fun and laughter should be a part of my everyday life, and also makes me feel like a kid again.
When we were together that day, I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. My five-year-old nephew said, “I want to be a police so I can make the world a nicer place for everyone.”
I thought that was just about the sweetest and cutest thing he could possibly say, even though the thought of him becoming a police officer made me nervous. Why couldn’t he choose something safer?
Over the next few days, I couldn’t get that conversation out of my head because I realized that I don’t want him, as a five-year-old, taking on the responsibility of making the world a nicer place.
I want him to be focused on having fun and making friends and learning new things in school. I don’t think any child should have to worry about that.
I started thinking about the actions I could take to make the world a nicer place so that he can experience that right now. Many of us are already doing things that have a positive impact on the world, but we don’t always recognize or acknowledge them.
We can all make a difference by doing these simple actions more frequently and accepting the responsibility for a nicer world as our own.
1. Smile at others.
Smiling makes others feel good when they see us doing it and it makes us feel good, too. It allows us to feel connected to other people, and this improves all of our moods. When I smile at people in the store and I get smiles in return, I notice that I get an immediate mood boost.
2. Make eye contact with people.
Many times we look at the ground or our phones instead of acknowledging the people around us. We avoid talking to people in line with us at the grocery store, and we act like we don’t see other people when we pass by them on the street. When we make eye contact instead of ignoring people, we make them feel seen and worthy of our attention—something we all want and appreciate.
3. Take care of our environment.
We all want to live in a clean and beautiful environment. The first step is to recycle and take care of our resources instead of being wasteful. Doing this ensures we leave our children a world they can take pride in and enjoy comfortably.
4. Compliment other people.
It’s important that we tell others how they make a difference in our lives and that we see all the amazing things they do. We can make a tremendous difference in their lives by sharing our gratitude instead of just thinking about it. I make an effort to compliment others about their work and let them know how important they are to me because I know that everyone wants to know that they matter.
5. Be positive.
Everyone benefits when we stop complaining and find the positive instead of focusing on the negative. We can make life easier for ourselves, and the people around us, if we stop worrying about the worst-case scenarios and try to make the best of our situations. When we cultivate a positive mindset, we not only feel more positive, we’re also more likely to create more positive circumstances.
6. Help others.
We often help others expecting something in return, but this can lead to disappointment and resentment. The alternative is to help others, especially those who are struggling, simply because we want to live in a world where people look out for each other.
7. Be kinder to ourselves.
Forgiving ourselves for any mistakes we make is much kinder than always mentally beating ourselves up, and being kind to ourselves is crucial if we want the world to be a nicer place. When we’re kind and caring to ourselves, we’re more open to kindness from others and more likely to treat others well.
8. Stay mindful in the present moment.
If we stop dwelling on things that have happened in the past and worrying about what might happen in the future, we’ll be able to experience all of the wonderful things that are happening in the present. When my mind wanders, I bring myself back to the now with three deep breaths. Mindfulness is a powerful way to increase our happiness, and that can have a massive ripple effect on the world around us.
9. Express gratitude daily.
Acknowledging all of the amazing things that we have happened to us puts us in a positive mindset, and it also provides us with the opportunity to thank others for all they’ve done. I practice gratitude daily by recording at least three things that I’m grateful for at the end of the night, and I’ve noticed it makes a tremendous difference in my mood and my relationships.
10. Have fun!
A lot of times we make situations out to be more much more serious than they need to be and we forget to actually let go and have fun. Let’s make sure that enjoying life is a priority so that we can actually take advantage of living in a nicer world!
Photo by Juhan Sonin
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A Man, a Pink Tutu, and His Smiling Wife, Who’s Undergoing Chemo
One woman. One cancer diagnosis. One man. One pink tutu. One inspiring mission. More smiles than can possibly be counted. Bob Carey, you are my new hero.
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Make the Homeless Smile
It’s the little things we do in this world that make a big difference. What if we made kindness a trend?
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6 Thought-Provoking Realizations to Make You Feel Better About Life
“Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb
It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget what makes life so beautiful in the first place. Isn’t that true? I know for me, I end up living life through autopilot, lacking a conscious thought until I snap out of it and remind myself that life is great.
When I get like this, it’s nice to remind myself of the realizations I’ve come across over the years and stored in my memory bank.
Every time you forget what you’re living for or feel like life is purposeless, consult this list.
1. You can’t ever really be bored.
One of my favorite quotes comes from comedian Louis C.K. If you don’t think you should be reading life quotes from a comedian, wait until you hear his.
“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’”
2. You have the potential to make someone smile.
You know what’s awesome? You could, if you really tried, make a stranger’s day today. Find a stranger who you’d guess no one has acknowledged in weeks and smile at him or her. Most people live invisibly with hardly an individual glancing at them. Show them you see them and smile. Bonus points if you say hi or strike up a conversation.
3. You’ve gotten through so many moments where you thought it was going to be all over.
Especially as a kid, I used to have all these doomsday alarms setting off in my head. If I don’t get this or that, my life is over. I’m going to be miserable forever.
Of course, as I grew up my mind became more realistic, but how often do we feel like we’re going to be miserable forever? We’ve gotten through pretty much most of them, right?
We move on and find new things to fear or be worried about.
4. You have the power to better yourself every day.
Maybe a few people reading this may think to themselves that this one is obvious, but it really isn’t. I honestly know many people who don’t believe in the idea of people changing and, of course, they “accept” who they are.
There’s a difference between accepting who you are and striving to become a better person. Isn’t it liberating to know that you’re not stuck with the cards you’ve been given? You’re not stuck at all! Not ever!
You can work towards becoming your ideal self a little bit at a time.
5. You from five years ago had nothing on present-you.
Every time I look back just a few years I have this smile on my face. I look at the socially awkward past-Vincent, the guy just trying to figure life out. Then I say, wow, I was a doofus!
Guess what? A few years ago when I did the same retrospection I thought the same thing to myself. Every time you look back you sort of cringe and wonder how you were so _______.
Imagine five years from now. You’re going to change so much (hopefully for the better) and you’ll realize you’ve grown a lot.
6. You have the potential to learn about anything.
The Internet is this gigantic resource available to you anytime and it has the potential to teach you just about anything.
Isn’t that just awesome? I taught myself how to get websites on Google’s first page, how to write words that stick so that people across the world can enjoy and learn, and I also taught myself juggling! All of these, by the way, were within the past year.
When was the last time you thought to yourself, “I wish I knew about _____”? What’s your excuse? You have access to the Internet. After all, you are reading this.
Sometimes life may seem hard, unfair, or chaotic, but you must remind yourself of how beautiful the world really is. Try to remember the little things that many people forget somewhere along the way.
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Daylight: Fun Music Video To Start the Morning with a Smile
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched this video. It’s impossible to watch this and not smile!
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Make Sure You’ll Smile When You Look Back on Your Life
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” ~Carl Rogers
I had just gotten settled into my hospital bed after two hours of preparation. I had 32 electrodes taped to my bandage-wrapped skull, plugged into a machine that monitored my brainwaves, with just enough room to go from the bed to the bathroom.
After two ambulance rides and multiple seizures, I needed to find out what was going on with my brain.
The full diagnosis of my disease was still unknown then. The doctors told me it could be serious and to prepare for the worst.
The worst?
“Yes, they said. Your time on this earth could be seriously limited.”
Weeks? Months? A year? Years? They said “yes.” In other words, they didn’t know yet.
When the nurse left my room, I was there by myself with nothing but my thoughts about my life and death.
It quickly dawned on me that at some point, most people would be in hospital beds, facing their mortality and asking themselves the hardest question they will be forced to ask: Did I live a fulfilled life?
I began to audit my life and smiled.
If the worst news came, I knew I’d be leaving this earth walking the path of fulfillment. Granted, I wanted several more decades to walk the path, but my brain condition forced me to answer that question of all questions.
The phrase “the path of fulfillment” was a revelation I’d had nearly 20 years ago on the plane ride home from my mother’s funeral.
Fulfillment is a constantly moving energy. It’s a path, not a place. You’re either walking on it or away from it. That’s why you have to work at it everyday to stay on the path.
Back then I wasn’t doing what, in my heart, I knew I always wanted. I wanted to make movies and music, to influence others, to make the world a better place. There were so many things I always wanted to do.
But they were huge endeavors, and fear superseded these dreams.
I had to face the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of rejection, the fear of what people would think.
So I acted. I wanted to make a movie. It was 1999, so the first thing I did when I landed at home in Austin, Texas was buy a computer, Final Cut pro editing software, and a digital camera.
I had never used a camera or editing software, but that didn’t matter. I took one small step at a time, and in two years my wife and I were travelling to New York, Los Angeles, and Muskogee, Oklahoma to view my documentary at film festivals.
Guess what the documentary was about? That’s right—fulfillment!
As a part of the documentary, I produced two of my own songs. Those songs played all over the world. That’s when there were 25,000 Internet Radio stations begging for music, so radio play over the web was accessible as long as you had a radio-ready produced song worth the airwaves.
Again, one small step at a time, and I had a movie and music under my belt.
I wanted to run a marathon. I was overweight and never really ran long distance before. But, all it took was a start, commitment, and follow-through. It took three years to accomplish, but I took small steps to make the big run.
I started by running one mile, then two, then a 10K, then a ten miler, then running a marathon in four hours and forty-seven minutes. Not a record setting pace, eh? Didn’t matter. To me, I had won the gold medal.
Fulfillment transcended again on March 5, 2007. That’s when I held my beautiful daughter in my arms, looking at all of her beauty, as she was perfect on that day she was to born. But she was dead. And it was tragic, no doubt about it, but if reinforced that life is fragile, and we need to honor it.
So I’m not going into the darkness that lay ahead, just the light that came from her death.
The revelation of fulfillment had elevated to the connections in our lives. Through all of this hardship, I was glad I’d married my best friend, as I don’t know how we could have survived otherwise.
All of our friends and family stood with us and were there for whatever we needed. I had made it a commitment and priority for my 40-something years on this planet to nurture true and deep friendships.
Those deep relationships paid off when I needed them the most. And still do.
I am close friends with those that I connected with in first grade, sixth grade, high school, and college—those relationships where you can peel off all of the layers and just be yourself and laugh and cry all in the same breath.
Again, it was a commitment I made to be a true friend for all of those decades. You have to be a friend to have friends.
You have to make time to call them, Skype them, have a drink with them. In the end when you’re in your hospital bed facing your mortality, it is those connections that will truly matter.
To build those connections, first and foremost, you have to connect with yourself.
You have to know who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to connect with people and the society we live in.
When you connect with yourself, you can face your fears. You can build the confidence to act on your passions, to commit to them and follow through. And in doing this with deep connections, you can walk the path of fulfillment.
We now have a beautiful four-year-old daughter who is the brightest connection in our lives. My brain condition is in check as long as I take my handful of pills each day.
I make sure I cherish every moment with my daughter, my wife and best friend, my friends, and my family.
And I make damn sure that I honor my commitments to connect with myself, my loved ones, and the world where we all live.
Remember, one day, you will be in your hospital bed auditing your life. When you do look back on your life, you want to make sure you smile.
Photo by SilentMind8
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8 Easy Ways To Spread Happiness Around You
“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.” ~Proverb
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to contribute to the world somehow. I’ve always dreamed of starting a charity organization. I bet that, just like me, you walk around with some sort of wish in your heart to change the world in some way, but you might not do anything about it. How come?
My excuses were time, money, fears, and not knowing how to go about it. I’m guessing you have similar hindrances.
Until recently I held on to the limiting belief that someday, one perfect day, when I’m done being busy with pursuing my masters degree, working my current part-time job in a call center, and raising two small kids under five, I’ll follow my heart and contribute to this world. Someday.
It’s a myth!
Through my job in a call center, I witness lots of tragedies that happen to people, and they’ve been wakeup calls for me.
I’ve understood something life-changing: all I really have is today. And I better make it count.
So I made a conscious decision, a choice, to throw all my fears away and start spreading happiness.
I thought, I might not be able to start a charity now, but I can take a tiny step and start as a volunteer in some existing organization. So I joined hospital clown project, where I do the small, practical stuff for them.
I also decided to spread happiness around my inner circle—my husband, my two kids, my family, friends, and colleagues, with small things. (more…)
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Your Most Important To-Do List
“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” ~Pericles
Every day we are swamped by tasks. Catch up on work. Buy groceries. Reply to those emails. Do the housework. Hand in that project. Pick up the dry-cleaning. Make that appointment. Go to the gym.
The constant connection to social media, as amazing and valuable as it can be, adds even more tiny tasks to our never-ending to-do-lists. Upload. Download. Tweet. Reply. Blog. Comment. Follow. Pin. Update. Check-in. Watch. Like. Read. Send.
My to-do’s are pinned up on my wall, stuck on my laptop, written on my iPhone, and floating around in my mind almost constantly.
With all these never-ending tasks consuming me all day, it’s easy to become stressed, irritable, and negative, and to forget what is most important: love, happiness, kindness, laughter, and gratitude.
To help me stay grounded during my day, I created my most important to-do list. Seeing this everyday reminds me of what really matters, and helps me to maintain positivity, clarity, and peace amongst the craziness.
Your Most Important To-Do List:
1. Smile at yourself.
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
How many times do you see your reflection in a day? And how many times do you see yourself actually looking happy? (more…)
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51 Things That Will Make You Smile
Some days, it’s easy to smile. You wake up to the sounds of birds chirping, with the warm glow of the morning sun cradling your face. You take several deep, cleansing breaths standing beneath a perfectly cascading shower, just before drawing a smiley face on the steamed-up glass with your index finger.
Your roommate or significant other makes your coffee, just the way you like it. You hit every traffic light. You sing to your favorite tunes. And you arrive at work refreshed, excited, and anxious to create and collaborate.
But not every day starts this way. Sometimes you wake up to chaos, in your head or in the world around you. You hit snags, and bumps, and roadblocks at every turn. You try too hard, or don’t try enough, and things fall apart, or things fall short.
You struggle, you fight yourself and other people, and you find yourself wishing you could stop the world so you could get off for a while.
But there is an alternative. When things go wrong, you can fall down or look up. You can shut down or wake up, all over again, starting from right where you stand. You can accept that the days won’t always look bright, but commit to finding something worth smiling about. Not sure what that might be? No worries, friends! I have a few ideas…. (more…)
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11 Ways to Laugh it Off
“If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.” ~Proverb
Last night a few of my friends and I went to see Chelsea Handler perform stand-up comedy. Whether you’re a fan of her show on E! or not, most would have found her pretty hilarious. I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. And you know what? It felt pretty awesome.
Every time I go to a comedy show, probably once or twice a year, I ask myself “Why don’t I do that more often?”
I always have a great time and leave feeling so relaxed and refreshed. I don’t know if it’s the best medicine—depends on what ails you!—but laughter is pretty great. It medicates whatever pain or emotional distress you’re feeling and makes everything seem a little bit better.
Weird but True
As I was reading up about laughter on Wikipedia, I found some interesting and obscure facts. Apparently, in 1962 there was an incident called the Tanganyika laughter epidemic—an outbreak of mass hysteria near the village of Kashasha on western coast of Lake Victoria in Tanzania.
It is rumored that the incident started because someone told a joke in a boarding school that got students laughing. That laughter perpetuated itself, and thousands of people were laughing for months. Months. Crazy, huh? Just shows you how contagious laughter can be!
The Benefits of Laughter (more…)
