Tiny Buddha

Tag: routine

  • How One Simple Change Transformed My Life

    How One Simple Change Transformed My Life

    “It’s the small habits. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and what you watch. Who you share your energy with. Who has access to you. That will change your life.” ~Michael Tonge

    It was a Tuesday morning like any other. The alarm clock mercilessly blared, abruptly ending my peaceful slumber. Groggy and disoriented, I dragged myself out of bed, my mind already racing with the countless tasks that awaited me.

    I wearily stumbled down the stairs, desperately yearning for the comfort of my morning coffee. But as the aroma filled the air, I knew that a storm was brewing within our household.

    As always, time was slipping away faster than I could catch it. I hurriedly prepared breakfast, threw lunches together, and rushed to get my kids and myself ready.

    Amidst the frenzy, there was always someone in tears, usually one of my children, overwhelmed by the chaos and the sense of urgency. I lamented the lack of time and the never-ending pressure to keep up with the demands of daily life.

    Surrounded by the mayhem, a tiny voice within me whispered, “What if there was another way?” Determined to find a solution, I started to explore the possibility of reclaiming mornings for myself before the chaos ensued.

    It was a daunting thought, knowing that I would have to sacrifice precious moments of sleep, but I had convinced myself that it was worth a try.

    And so, the next morning, my alarm rang a bit earlier than usual. As I stumbled into the kitchen, I brewed a fresh cup of coffee and settled back into the comfort of my bed in an upright position.

    Sipping thoughtfully, I allowed myself the luxury of simply being present in the moment. It was in this newfound stillness that I experienced something truly remarkable—a sense of calm and clarity that had eluded me for far too long.

    As I sipped on my coffee, I began to reflect on all the things I was grateful for—my loving family, good health, and the opportunities that each new day brought.

    This practice of gratitude shifted my focus from the rushed chaos to the abundance of blessings that surrounded me. It reminded me that even amidst the challenges, there were reasons to be grateful and find joy in the simple moments.

    Moreover, this intentional time allowed me to set clear intentions for the day ahead. I identified and visualized my goals, both big and small.

    By setting my intentions, I found that my actions aligned with my aspirations, propelling me toward personal growth and a greater sense of purpose. This simple act of mindfulness in the morning became a powerful catalyst for positive change in my life.

    As the days turned into weeks, I gradually introduced other self-care practices into my morning ritual. I made space for meditation, journaling, stretches, and deep breaths, nourishing my body and mind before diving into the demands of the day.

    These small acts of self-care not only set a tone of self-love and respect but also allowed me to approach challenges with resilience and grace.

    By prioritizing my well-being in the morning, I found that I not only had more energy and patience to support others throughout the day, but I also felt more prepared and focused.

    Taking this time for myself allowed me to tackle tasks with a clear mind and a sense of direction, eliminating the feeling of overwhelm. It helped me feel awake and ready to embrace the day ahead.

    Rushing through my mornings without pause was no longer an option. Instead, I established a new habit that filled me with anticipation for the day ahead, creating a sense of excitement to wake up each morning.

    This shift in mindset transformed my experience from one of feeling drained and overwhelmed to becoming a source of calm and stability, both for myself and for my family, helping us weather the inevitable storms of daily life together.

    Through my journey, I realized that a morning ritual is not merely a checklist of tasks to be completed. It is an opportunity to set the tone for the day, to consciously choose how we show up in the world.

    Mornings can often be a battleground of chaos and stress, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and drained before the day has even begun.

    For many years, I found myself trapped in this cycle, rushing through my morning routine and sacrificing my own well-being for the sake of everyone else’s. It was only when I discovered the transformative power of a morning ritual that my life took an unexpected turn towards balance, clarity, and personal growth.

    By dedicating time for self-reflection and self-care in the morning, we build a solid foundation upon which the rest of our day can flourish.

    It is important to recognize that everyone’s morning ritual will be unique, tailored to their individual needs and preferences.

    The key lies in finding practices that cultivate balance, clarity, and a sense of purpose. Whether it’s meditation, journaling, exercise, or simply taking a quiet moment to enjoy a cup of coffee, the magic unfolds when we carve out space for ourselves amidst the chaos.

    If you’re thinking about starting a morning ritual, here are some tips to help you get started.

    Begin by setting your alarm just a few minutes earlier each day, and use this time to do activities that bring you joy and peace. You can expand your routine gradually as you find what works for you.

    Creating a sacred space in your home can help you escape from distractions and noise. Designate a quiet corner and fill it with items that inspire and uplift you, making it a perfect environment for self-reflection and relaxation.

    Incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation, gratitude journaling, or deep breathing exercises into your morning routine can help foster a sense of calm and set a positive tone for the day. It can be as simple as sitting quietly with your thoughts for a few minutes.

    Make self-care a priority by engaging in activities that nourish your body and mind, such as stretching, yoga, or enjoying a nutritious breakfast. Starting your day with self-care can set the stage for a day filled with vitality and positivity.

    Finally, finding support in your journey can be incredibly helpful. Consider partnering up with an accountability partner or joining a morning ritual group to stay motivated and inspired. Sharing experiences and insights with like-minded individuals can enhance the transformative power of your morning practice.

    The power of a morning ritual lies in its ability to transform our lives from the inside out. By carving out time for self-care and reflection, we set the stage for a day brimming with balance, clarity, and personal growth.

    My journey toward reclaiming my mornings taught me invaluable lessons about the importance of prioritizing self-care, cultivating mindfulness, and honoring my own well-being.

    As you embark on your own morning ritual, remember that it is a fluid and evolving process. Be patient with yourself as you experiment with different activities and observe what resonates with your soul.

    Embrace the calm and the stillness, and allow the transformative power of a morning ritual to guide you toward a life filled with purpose, clarity, and joy.

  • How a Simple Morning Routine Helped Me Heal from PTSD and Grief

    How a Simple Morning Routine Helped Me Heal from PTSD and Grief

    “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~Frederick Douglass

    In an eighteen-month window, I had a landslide of firsts that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

    I ended my first long-term relationship with someone I deeply cared for but did not love. She had borderline personality disorder, and I was not mentally strong enough nor mature enough to be what she needed in a partner. Within five minutes of me saying our relationship was over, she slit her wrist as we sat there in bed. This was the beginning of it all.

    Drug overdoses, online personal attacks, physically beating me, calling and texting sixty-plus times a day, coming to my work, breaking into my home to steal and trash the place, and general emotional abuse followed over the next ten months.

    Day after day, week after week, month after month.

    My heart started racing, and my breathing spiked every time my phone went off, and I mean EVERY time. I woke each morning to multiple alerts that someone had tried to hack my social media and bank accounts and people I barely knew messaging me saying, “Hey, don’t know if you saw this, but your ex is…”

    In the midst of this, my parents called a family meeting, and that’s when they told us that dad’s doctor thought he might be showing the first signs of Parkinson’s disease.

    I didn’t know at the time what this news would mean long-term for him and us as a family, but I soon found out.

    Dad slowly started deteriorating mentally and physically. Within a year, he had aged twenty years and wasn’t able to be left alone. The man I had once known to be the picture of health and courage was gone.

    I, too, was changing for the worse.

    Happiness was a feeling I couldn’t relate to anymore. I was constantly in a state of duress, from twitching fingers to a tightness in my chest. The most notable change in my life was the constant breaking down as I would shower in the morning.

    After I woke, I would kneel, resting my head on my shoulders and cry, in fear for what the day ahead had in store and disbelief that my life had come to this.

    Even as I huddled there under the warm stream of water, I would feel my eyes shifting back and forth, a mile a minute, it seemed. The effects of my anxiety, depression, and PTSD were touching all areas of my body.

    I did not know what to do.

    I couldn’t believe my life had turned out like this.

    How could this be happening to me?

    But the scariest thought that came to mind, as I knelt in the shower each morning, was how do I stop this? No one had taught this in school.

    I remember staring at my ceiling one afternoon (as I often did, not having any desire to do anything that I once loved or cared about) and saying to myself, “If I don’t take action, I’ll be like this till I’m fifty.” And this was the truth; I knew it wasn’t going to go away without consistent work to better myself.

    Over the following weeks to months, I started working on my morning routine, something that had never been part of my life before this. Most mornings had me showering and getting dressed as I scrolled through the gram, looking at negative posts, adding more unhealthy thoughts to my already full mind.

    It was a slow process.

    Most days I only lasted five minutes before I gave up and went back to bed, but slowly, over time, with two steps forward then five steps back, I created a routine that felt comfortable and achievable each day.

    The routine went like this:

    • Wake up at the same time each day, no matter weekday or weekend.
    • Hop into the shower right away and finish off the last thirty seconds with a full blast of cold water.
    • Make my bed after I get changed.
    • Make a glass of hot lemon water.
    • Sit and drink the lemon water in silence as I look out the window.
    • Finish the time on the chair by saying five things that I am grateful for, no matter how small—”I am grateful for this tree outside my window.”
    • Put on a pot of coffee.
    • Write in my journal as the coffee brews, exploring how I am feeling at the moment or how I felt yesterday and why.

    Not until I had my coffee in my hand, around forty-five minutes after waking up, would I get my phone and flick it open to see what I had missed overnight.

    I had created a morning routine that put me ahead of everything else going on in life. There were no sudden jolts of unease or stress from outside sources like a text message, email, or social media post. 

    I was in control of my life for at least forty-five minutes every morning.

    I would use that confidence to extend those positive vibes further and further into my days. At first, they didn’t last very long, but over time I was able to look at the clock and see mid-day was here, and I hadn’t given up on being productive.

    My morning routine saved me. It gave me the confidence to add other tools to my mental health toolbox. I started eating healthier foods, working out more often, reading in bed instead of watching TV, and going to therapy. All of these things aided me in battling my mental health struggles.

    I’ve learned that sometimes, when our challenges feel daunting and unbeatable, we need to think big and act small, taking it one day at a time, or one morning at a time, or one breath at a time.

    Sometimes one small positive choice can have a massive ripple effect and change everything—especially when it enables us to tune out the noise of the world and reconnect with ourselves. Life will always be chaotic; if we want calm in our lives we have to consciously choose to create it.

    I write this to you three years after creating this morning routine, still doing it every damn day.

    It has evolved and adapted as I have grown as a human from these life experiences that shook me to the core.

    But I still make sure of one thing. I keep my phone out of my hands until my morning routine is done.

    This is my time.

  • The Simple Path to Change When You’re Not Satisfied with Your Life

    The Simple Path to Change When You’re Not Satisfied with Your Life

    “Making a big life change is scary, but you know what’s even scarier? Regret.” ~Zig Ziglar

    Fifteen years ago, I made one of the biggest changes in my life. It was something I had wanted to do for so long but had never found the right time, right plan, or courage to do.

    You see, ever since I was in my teens, I had always felt I was meant to be somewhere else.

    The town where I grew up was pretty perfect for raising young kids, but it just wasn’t for me as I entered adulthood. I always envisioned myself somewhere else doing something different than those that stayed and replaced the generations before them.

    When I came back from school in my twenties, I was eager to get my career going and was not in a rush to settle down and have kids like most of my circle. I wasn’t even sure I really wanted to raise a family. I was more interested in exploring this world and not being tied to one way of life.

    At twenty-five I thought, WOW, I finally feel like I’ve got it all figured out.

    I had lived away from home, finished school, had relationships both good and bad, and had a strong work ethic that was instilled in me from a young age. So here I was, ready to take on the world. Build my career, travel, and maybe eventually settle down and start a family… then BANG! Just like that my world started to crumble.

    Within a span of one year, I was dealt some devastating news. My mother and sister were both diagnosed with different devastating diseases.

    My world was crushed. I can still remember the impact I felt on the day I received the news.

    I was in my office when I got the call about my sister, who had lost her speech and ability to move one of her arms and possibly needed emergency brain surgery.

    I was in shock. I had no idea how I felt, what I was supposed to do, or where I was supposed to be. I just sat there with a blank stare for what felt like an eternity but really was likely just five minutes.

    After weeks of testing, it was discovered my sister had MS (Multiple Sclerosis). A life-long debilitating disease, or so I understood at the time.

    Fast forward six-plus months later, my sister was on track with rehabilitation and signs of a full recovery in speech and limb mobility. Then WHAM! My mother received a stage 3 cancer diagnosis.

    I was absolutely devastated and completely torn apart. My mother is everything to me, the woman who inspires me to stand tall and strong no matter what life throws my way. A woman of pure integrity and authenticity, loved by so many.

    After emergency surgery and intense chemo, I am glad to say that both my mum and sister survived their devastating ordeals and have been living life to the fullest since that awful time. But during that time my world was upside down and I was an emotional wreck.

    I had no idea how to unravel all the emotions I was feeling then. I kept myself busy, though, with work, too much partying, and hitting the gym hard. You see, I kept myself looking good on the outside, but I was a complete mess on the inside. I was no longer thriving; I was just surviving.

    I began taking inventory of my life and realized I was not living the life I’d envisioned for myself. I was scared to make a change and also to not make a change.

    Seeing what my family had endured made me realize how precious life is and that I didn’t want to waste mine living a life that didn’t fulfill me in fear I was next for a diagnosis. So, I decided to seek out professional help to gain control and clarity, to heal, and to push through the emotions I was suffering from. Only then would I be able to truly move forward with my life in a positive and productive way.

    Once I had done the “work” on sorting out my emotions, I was able to start creating real change from a healthy, sound perspective.

    I started creating the life that resonated with me one step at a time. You see, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to build. It is a process, and anyone who has made significant change in their lives will tell you that. Their change likely started way before anyone was really aware.

    I wasn’t living the life I wanted, so I thought long and hard about what needed to change and finally took the leap.

    I moved across the country on my own, away from my most significant support, with no job, to start building a life that resonates with me. It wasn’t without challenge or bumps in the road, and it certainly wasn’t perfect. But it’s been absolutely amazing, and I’ve never looked back.

    Besides the emotional trauma, there were so many things holding me back at first—family, friends, familiarity, and fear. But what I’ve come to realize is when you start making positive change in your life, for you, things fall into place over time and you look back and realize the change was worth it.

    People speak from their own feelings, experiences, and fears, don’t let that hold you back from what feels right to you.

    I now live in a place that felt like home from the first time I landed here. I live by the ocean and mountains, which inspire me every day.

    My sister now lives in the same city (in fact, we live the same complex). My brother and his family moved a one-hour flight away now as opposed to across the country. My mother still resides back in the town where I grew up so, I feel I get the best of both worlds. Living in a place that inspires me while having the chance to revisit a vibrant city and old friends to reminisce with whenever I choose to.

    So, what are the top things people say they regret as they get older? I wish I’d….

    • Saved more money or made better investments
    • Worked in a job or career I was more passionate about
    • Treated my body better and had better self-care
    • Spent more time with loved ones
    • Traveled more

    And the list goes on…

    Why do so many people rush through life without taking the time to recalibrate and ensure they are focused on the right things that mean something to them or will enrich their lives? It’s an intricate topic yet simple. Life. Life gets in the way, responsibilities get in the way, others’ opinions, and our own doubts and fears get in the way.

    We’ve all been there, navigating life as it unravels each day, and as things happen, we go with the flow. But have you ever stopped to consider, what’s my “flow”?

    How do I want this day, month, year to go? Why do I keep getting dragged in other directions or the same direction only to live each day with no change? Why does it seem like others are thriving while I am on repeat or treading without progressing?

    You will never know for sure until you take the time to explore what is going on in your life and create awareness around what might be holding you back. With the right support and guidance, you can create change both big and small. In fact, making little changes frequently will add up to making a big change overall.

    Not sure where to start? Here are five proven tips to begin creating change in your life today.

    1. Break the routine.

    Think about what you can give up or take out of your day to switch up your daily routine and do this for a two-week period. This could mean not scrolling mindlessly through social media on your lunch break or not watching TV at night, then seeing what else you could do instead. Which brings me to my next point…

    2. Bring back doing something you love and make it a deal breaker in your week.

    No excuses, make it happen, even you only have a fifteen-minute window for this activity. Same as above, do this for a two-week period, and this next one, as well.

    3. Discover something new.

    What have you always considered trying out or have an interest in that you’ve never explored? Give it a try now.

    4. Journal.

    Keep notes on how you are feeling through the two weeks. Then do it all for another two weeks.

    5. Build intention.

    Each week set the intention that there is time, this is worth it, and you are worth it!

    —

    The purpose of this process is to help you see how even small shifts can change how you feel and add to your life and well-being. This sets the foundation for believing that change gives more than it takes, which helps you find the motivation to seek out new opportunities so you can make larger life changes. Move if you don’t feel thrilled with where you live, sign up for a course to help you change careers, or finally leave the job you hate to do something you love.

    It takes focus, consistency, and perseverance to make change, but everyone has the ability to do it, especially if they start small and take it one day at a time.

    Surround yourself with those that will respect you and the changes you are making. I bet you’ll be surprised to see how many people are inspired and/or motivated to begin making their own changes after watching you. So don’t wait—start today and open up to change so you can live the life you want to live!

  • How 10 Minutes of Daily Meditation Can Calm Your Mind and Relax Your Body

    How 10 Minutes of Daily Meditation Can Calm Your Mind and Relax Your Body

    “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and still be calm in your heart.” ~Unknown

    I began the morning with a meditation. After taking my dog out and brewing the coffee, I sat in my sunny living room, my little dog Frankie nestled beside me. I perched cross-legged, a blue pillow on my lap for warmth. I closed my eyes and began to focus on my breath.

    When ten minutes passed, I raised my hands in appreciation. “Thank you for this day. Thank you for my family and for our health. Give me strength, wisdom, and love.” Then I extended my hands forward, “So that I may give strength, wisdom, and love.” Finally, I stretched both arms out sideways, wiggling my fingers in my peripheral vision, a reminder to be fully aware. This is how I start every day.

    It wasn’t always this way. My older brother Marc tried to get me to meditate when I was fourteen. Although he was a patient teacher, I didn’t understand the point of the exercise.

    “Let’s sit together. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath.”

    “Why do I have to do this?

    “Just sit, Lise. It’s good for you to learn. We will do it together.”

    “OK, but why?”

    Marc tried, but I resisted. I stopped meditating as soon as he went back to college.

    Years later, as part of my psychology training, I took classes which touted meditation as a stress-reducing technique. During the classes, there were demonstrations which I always enjoyed. I sat back, breathed deeply, and felt a deep flow of relaxation inside me. But, back home, I had no follow-through. Once the classes were over, so was my meditation.

    My breakthrough into daily meditation happened in 2020, one of the few good things that arose from that dreadful year. I was home, virtually every minute of my life. I didn’t have to dash from of the house, brave traffic, and arrive at the office by 9:00. Mornings stretched more languidly. It was easier to find those ten minutes to breathe every morning.

    Now I sit every day. I scan through my body, noting points of tension, areas of pain and pressure. Simple awareness of the tension shifts any pain, and my body settles.

    My mind, free from my constant to-do lists, drifts along, as if floating on the waves of a gentle sea. I hear the sounds of the house around me, the heater outside, working mightily to warm our home; Frankie the dog beside me, sighing. My stomach muscles unclench. I notice thoughts drifting in. I don’t attend to them. The thoughts fade away. Peace.

    Of course, that’s when meditation goes well. Sometimes every minute slogs on. My scalps itches. “I forgot to return that phone call,” I think, and my body tenses into high alert. “Oh no, I have to write that woman back!” My throat tightens. “What if that editor doesn’t like my submission?” My stomach jams into a knot. I cannot let these thoughts go. “I suck at meditation. Why can’t I just breathe? When will these ten minutes be over?”

    Sometimes meditation goes like this. It isn’t always peaceful, and it doesn’t always feel good. The key, I’m told, is to keep at it. Like any skill, the more we practice, the better we get at it. It is no accident that we say one “practices meditation.” I didn’t get decent at writing in one year either.

    If you are like the fourteen-year-old me, you might be asking, why meditate at all? There are so many benefits I don’t even know where to begin; here is a partial list. Meditation…

    • Soothes anxiety: When you learn to focus the mind, your thoughts don’t spin off into anxious “what-ifs,” spiraling into anxious ruminations.
    • Calms anger: Focusing on breathing calms the mind, stopping our internal tirades over people who have wronged us.
    • Improves the immune system: The body is not designed to be in a constant “fight or flight” mode. When we are tense, our immune system works poorly. When we relax, our immune system resumes its work.
    • Lowers blood pressure: Meditation is a proven technique for improving hypertension.
    • Manages emotional reactivity: This is a big one. It is easy for me, sensitive soul that I am, to feel hurt and wounded by other people. Meditation allows me to detach from the provocations of the moment, and to tap into inner peace. Once I have calmed myself, I find freedom from reacting emotionally. I can bring more thoughtfulness and wisdom to my relationships.

    Happily, the benefits of meditation extend past the ten minutes into the whole day.

    Now that I practice regularly, I notice when my shoulders leap to attention. With mindfulness, I can lower those shoulders down.

    I notice when my stomach tenses up, and I can breathe that tension away.

    I notice when my mind anxiously swirls around my to-do list and I can tell my mind to relax.

    The awareness that comes from a regular ten-minute mediation follows me throughout my day, helping me stay calmer and more serene.

    A while ago, I was getting ready for a radio interview, as part of my recent book promotion. I had an hour to spare, and I thought I’d make a quick phone call to an insurance company.

    This “quick” phone call dragged into an infuriating forty minutes. I was on hold, listening to inane music, on some incessant torture loop. Finally, the customer service rep came on, but we had with a terrible connection. I could barely hear her, as she was undoubtedly on another continent, and I couldn’t understand her either.

    After a brief exchange, which I barely fathomed, she declared she couldn’t help me. I got off the phone in disgust.

    “I’m so aggravated! I just wasted an hour on the phone with this stupid company and now I have an interview in fifteen minutes. What a colossal waste of time! I have this radio interview and I am so upset I can barely think!”

    My husband gazed at me. “Why don’t you do your meditation thing?”

    I glared at him. I really just wanted to righteously complain. But my husband was right; I was a wreck.

    I sat in my bedroom and closed my eyes, focusing on my breath. Immediately I sensed my body’s distress. My heart rate was elevated. I breathed rapidly. My shoulders were raised and my stomach was in spasm.

    “My god,” I thought. “My body is completely dysregulated, all from one stupid phone call.”

    Quietly, I focused. I felt my muscles relaxing and my heart rate slowing. I ended the meditation, feeling like a different woman, and started the interview with a smile on my face.

    That is the power of a regular ten-minute meditation practice.

    Let’s be clear. Everyone, no matter how busy, has ten minutes to spare. You can do this, and build yourself a calmer, more peaceful life, in a healthier body.

    One final tip: it is best to find a regular time of day for your meditation practice. Do your breathing every morning, or every bedtime, or every evening after work. Otherwise, you will keep putting it off until later. If you are like me, you might even put it off for forty years.

  • 7 Morning Mindfulness Practices to Help You Have an Awesome Day

    7 Morning Mindfulness Practices to Help You Have an Awesome Day

    How often do you feel energized, grounded, and excited for the day when you finish your morning routine?

    And what is your morning routine?

    Are you one of those people who sleep as late as possible, pound some coffee and a processed breakfast, and then rush to get into work on time? (No judgment—I’ve been there! Gas station java and pop tarts for the win!)

    Or do you leave yourself a cushion of time so you can ease into your day feeling centered and invigorated, through some combination of self-care activities?

    In recent years I’ve leaned toward the latter because I know the way I spend my morning sets the tone for the rest of my day.

    Admittedly, it’s easier on some days than others. When things are going well, and I feel good about myself and my life, it’s not too hard to do things that are good for me, even if I only have a few minutes.

    But it’s when we’re not feeling our best that we need self-care the most. Especially in the morning, when our choices have immense power to shape the twenty-four hours ahead.

    For me, the most important choice is to practice mindfulness.

    Mindfulness is essentially non-judgmental present moment awareness. It’s simply being where you are. Grounding yourself in your body and choosing to let thoughts naturally pass instead of getting caught up in them.

    It’s a great practice any time of day, but particularly in the morning, since it enables you to create the kind of energy you want to take into the tasks and interactions ahead of you.

    There are limitless ways to practice mindfulness, but here are some of my favorites:

    1. Mindful check-in

    I imagine a lot of us hop out of bed and get into the morning without really checking in with ourselves to see how we’re feeling.

    Check in to see how your body feels—if you’re holding tension anywhere or if any part of your body needs a little extra love, whether that means stretching your legs or giving yourself a hand massage.

    Check in to see how you feel mentally and emotionally—if you feel anxious about anything that’s coming or you’re holding onto any thoughts or regrets about yesterday and could maybe work through them with a little journaling.

    And most importantly, ask yourself: What do I need? It might not be the same as what you needed yesterday. You might need to chug some water, or connect with someone you love, or listen to a song that always makes you smile. None of these things takes that long, but they can all make a huge difference.

    2. Mindful morning mantra

    Because I want my son to feel excited about his days, and to know that he’s a valuable human being, I’ve gotten into the habit of telling him, right after he wakes up, “Welcome to the day, the day is lucky to have you!” (I probably sound like the teacher from Peanuts right now, cause, you know, he’s one and a half, but in time he’ll understand!)

    Recently it occurred to me that I could just easily say this to myself, either looking in the mirror or just in my head when I first open my eyes. So I tell myself this, then take a few deep breaths and let these words marinate in my brain.

    It’s a much nicer greeting to the morning than a bright screen in my face. And it’s a way to proactively and mindfully nurture what I want to feel: excited, valued, and confident.

    3. Mindful shower

    Our morning shower is a perfect opportunity to engage with our senses, clear our mind, and visualize our worries washing away down the drain.

    Whenever we engage our senses we’re pulled into the present moment, and there’s no sense more powerful than the sense of smell. The part of the brain that processes smells is linked to the part of the brain associated with memory and emotion. Which means the right scent can provide comfort, calm, and healing. And lavender in particular isn’t just relaxing, it’s also scientifically proven to help with anxiety and a number of physical ailments.

    You might find a different scent appeals to you. You might prefer hot showers, or cold showers, or a combination. What’s important is that you allow yourself to be fully present with the experience—to feel the water cascading down your back, to tune into the sound of the drops hitting the floor, and to give yourself this time to simply be, in this moment of solitude.

    4. Intention-setting practice

    Many of us go into our days with lengthy to-do lists, and it can easily create a sense of overwhelm.

    I like to set a morning intention based on both something to do and something to be, because this reminds me of what’s truly important, and takes the focus off productivity.

    For example, you could set the intention to do an act of kindness and be gentle with yourself. Then you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when you complete the act of kindness, and you’ll not only feel good about having done it, you’ll feel good about yourself no matter what else you do, because you’ll be honoring your intention to be gentle with yourself.

    5. Mindful breakfast

    Particularly in the morning, when we have a lot to do, and perhaps get into quickly, it’s easy to scarf down our food without even really tasting it. And it always occurs to me how silly this is. It’s not like savoring our food takes much time. It literally adds seconds to the experience—a few extra minutes at most.

    In my family we joke that we don’t chew our food, we just kind of gulp it down. So this is where I start. I chew more. I fully taste what I’m eating. I close my eyes as if it’s a super decadent chocolate.

    Choose to eat without multitasking—no phone or TV on in the background. And give yourself permission to just enjoy eating. Like when you were a kid and finally got an ice cream cone after begging for an hour. You took big, long licks, you let it drip down your hand, maybe you snarled when someone asked if they could try it because you were just that into it.

    You could also imagine this is the last time you will ever get to eat this particular meal. I find that always mindful eating far easier!

    6. Yoga or stretching

    If I could take an hour-long yoga class every morning, I would, because nothing feels as good for my mind and body as yoga. It’s like a mental cleanse and a really good full body yawn-stretch all at once. (Do you that too—yawn-stretch?) It releases tension both in the mind and body and creates a feeling of lightness all over.

    If, like me, you don’t have the time for a full class, you could instead do a few energizing poses, while focusing on your breath. Yoga Journal has a great list of recommendations here. Or you could simply stretch in whatever way feels good to you, breathing deeply as you move your body.

    7. Gratitude journaling

    You probably see this suggestion a lot, and for good reason: identifying our blessings boosts our mood, increases our overall life satisfaction, and makes us feel more optimistic. When you find things to appreciate, even when life feels hard or stressful, it’s like shining a spotlight on all the reasons life is worth living and deemphasizing everything that hurts.

    But you don’t need to put pen to paper to reap the benefits. You could write one thing down and put it in a gratitude jar so you can pull a random blessing out any time you need a pick-me-up. You could share a morning blessing on social media, to connect with other people in the process. Or you could try the email approach I recently adopted with my sister…

    Though we didn’t keep it going long, for a brief time we emailed each other daily one thing we were grateful for, one thing we were excited about, and one thing we were proud of ourselves for. I found it was a great way to help each other be our best selves and nurture positive emotions.

    —

    Let’s face it: Every day is different, and some mornings are harder than others.

    Sometimes we wake up wishing yesterday was a dream and hoping today will be over fast.

    Sometimes we wake up feeling indifferent about the twenty-four hours ahead because we’re just not excited about our day.

    And other times we wake up feeling eager and motivated, thrilled about the upcoming day and ready to make the most of it.

    That’s life, for all of us. That’s the full range of human experience, all kinds of days mixed up together like white specks drifting around in a snow globe.

    We can’t control that our lives are always in flux, and that we won’t always wake up feeling happy or positive. But we can choose to do something every morning that enables us to be and do our best with what is, whatever it is.

    And it all starts with mindfulness. Coming home to our body. Giving ourselves permission to simply be. And then, when we feel a strong sense of stability within us, going out into the world to do. Whatever it is we do. Ready to find the joy in our day and knowing we can handle whatever’s coming.

  • The Anti-Anxiety Techniques That Prepare You for a Crisis

    The Anti-Anxiety Techniques That Prepare You for a Crisis

    “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

    One of the paradoxes of learning to cope with anxiety is that it often means you’re prepared for chaos and crisis. When everyone else is thrown by the uncertainty, you’re strangely at home because it is not as far from your day-to-day lived reality as it is to their’s.

    I often joke that at a time of crisis, people with anxiety are like early adopters of the iPhone; we’re like “See, this is exactly what I’ve been telling you about!!! It follows you everywhere; it seems innocuous at first and then slowly, but surely it ruins your life.”

    Whether it’s the overwhelming sense of fear and dread about anything and everything, obsessively running over hypothetical scenarios, or waking up the middle of the night furious with your partner because they have the audacity to be able to sleep soundly through the night, we get it.

    For me, this journey started in 2015, after I quit six jobs in four months.

    You see, I started a job that I felt underqualified for, and I spent every day waiting for them to figure out they’d made a mistake. The longer they didn’t, the more I was sure my employers were idiots who could not be trusted. So I decided to get a new job, but then I felt underqualified for that job even though it was a job I’d done comfortably in the past, and then I felt underqualified for the next one and the one after that, and so on and so forth.

    Eventually, a friend suggested this wasn’t normal and that I should speak to a therapist. I did, and I was told the good news was that I probably wasn’t as bad at my job as I thought, and the bad news was I had an anxiety disorder. Given my ongoing fear of looking incompetent, it’s a trade-off that I’d probably almost still take.

    Over the next two years, I read every blog, listened to every podcast, and tried every gimmick to help wrestle back any semblance of trust in my ability to win the increasing arguments I was having with my self-belief.

    One of the biggest things about living with anxiety is knowing that it never goes away, but you can learn more productive ways to cope with it.

    At a time of crisis, a lot of people will say, “We’re all in the same boat,” which I don’t think is accurate. We all get forced out onto our individual lifeboats; some of us are in rockier waters than others, some are lucky to have literal personal islands to retreat to.

    As a stand-up comedian with anxiety, I have the benefit of being forced to put years into maintaining and improving my metaphorical lifeboat. From breathing techniques and isolation pods to hardcore psychedelics, I’ve taken them out into the lifeboat, seen it sink or swim, learned from that, made it better, and made it more comfortable.

    For those of who are new to these troubled waters, let’s take a short crash course into the things you can do to help manage your anxiety.

    It’s worth noting, these aren’t the only things you can do, and not all of these will be helpful to everyone, but these are the tools I turn to most often.

    The hippies were right, meditation really works.

    I know, I know, it’s cliché. I spent most of my twenties rolling my eyes at what I thought was hippie nonsense. And, even today, long after having discovered the benefits of meditation, I still cringe when I hear someone assume that because I am an advocate of meditation, I must also believe in crystals or star signs. And, I still can’t stand people pretending that meditation means you’ll never feel unhappy again.

    But meditation does work. In particular, learning to let the early discomfort pass—to settle in and observe the restlessness and feel it naturally subside—is like weight training for your brain. Once you can do that, it is so much easier to accept that some things are out of your control and wait for them to pass.

    Keep a routine.

    Chaos can cause you to want to do everything and nothing all at once. It’s like trying to run faster to the finish line when you’re already exhausted. You want to do anything, anything at all to claim back a sense of control, but often, that just results in you feeling boxed in by the fact that you can’t always control everything.

    When I’m anxious, I scramble for things to take up my time, make lists of lists I need to make. Somewhere in my subconscious, I think my belief is that “surely one of these things will work.” On the other hand, work done in a panic is less likely to be strategic or done well. That can add to a sense of hopelessness that is demotivating.

    A routine can be the difference between spiralling and getting up and getting on with it, in the best way. Sticking to a routine means when things get hard, your muscle memory can kick in and take over.

    For me, this means getting up at a regular time, maintaining standard working hours (even in times of unemployment), setting aside time to meditate and run at a regular schedule. All these things help me tick things off my to-do list without ever having to think about it. And, the feeling of achievement definitely makes it easier to expand beyond your schedule.

    When it’s really tough, you can go one step further and list your tasks even if it’s “watch something new on Netflix” and “go to bed at a reasonable time.” Seeing things crossed off the list isn’t just satisfying, it’s also a great way to keep track of the fact that things are getting done as time passes.

    Write things down, you’ll be glad you did.

    It’s amazing how important a pad and a pen are to me as a comedian. I have always been in the habit of writing half-hour stream-of-consciousness per day. Exploring freely on paper is often the best way to churn out things deep within your psyche that you’d not thought yet, and that can make for great jokes.

    The practice has evolved into something that is much more therapeutic. It allows me to express myself as often as I need to, without boring anyone with the same repetitive thoughts, and often allows me to understand the things I’m thinking that are linked to the emotions I’m feeling.

    Remember to stay in touch.

    It’s easy to assume that we all know how each other is feeling, but sharing it still helps. On that note, go a step further and check in on people, even people who might not expect you to do so. It’s always nice to know someone is thinking of you, and reacquainting yourself with an old friend, or getting to know a new one better, can often be a spark that leads to great positivity.

    The medical professionals know their stuff.

    Sleep, exercise, drink enough water. It’s all easy to forget and just as easy to neglect. The number of times I find myself in a horrible rut, only to backtrack and realize I’d been eating, drinking, and sleeping poorly, is bigger than I care to admit.

    So do the basics and your mind will thank you. Also, if you find yourself having sleep problems, exercise and minimizing your drinking can help. Lastly, talking to a mental health professional can be life-changing, and I highly recommend it.

    Know your triggers.

    As you get to know where your head is at, you will notice certain things risk setting you off more. Make a note of these triggers and be ready to learn new ways to respond to them.

    For me, avoiding macro level news helps. I don’t avoid all conversation of whatever topic I’m bothered by, but I don’t actively seek it out and try to steer the conversation into the bits that affect me and the people I’m talking to personally.

    For example, while I don’t run away from conversations about the COVID-19 pandemic, I definitely avoid any long-term speculation. I don’t find it helpful; in fact, I find it overwhelming. Instead, I try to keep any conversation tied to how I am currently doing, with the restrictions in place.

    It’s likely to be different for you, but whatever your triggers are, know them, avoid them where possible, and be ready to respond when not.

    Keep laughing.

    Don’t lose your sense of humor. Laughing about a shared struggle can be incredibly cathartic; it’s why I love comedy and how I got into it. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to laugh and being able to find humor in tough moments.

    I’ve always found it helpful to learn from people who’ve traveled the path I’m on before me. And, when it comes with dealing with the uncertainty in a time of crisis, people who have developed coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety are seasoned travelers.

    And while no amount of blog posts from well-read, worldly, and totally modest comedians can ever prevent you from experiencing moments of crisis in your life, learning and implementing the steps above may just help prepare you to deal with them when they come.

  • 7 Reasons to Abandon Your Comfort Zone and Why You’ll Never Regret It

    7 Reasons to Abandon Your Comfort Zone and Why You’ll Never Regret It

    “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

    Imagine with me for a second. You wake up, roll over, and blindly reach to hit your alarm to start the routine of the day. Make the same thing for breakfast. Maybe go to a new coffee place…nah. Same place. Go to work on the same route to the same job you’ve been at for years.

    After a long day of struggling through your daily responsibilities, you come home tired and slink back into the comfort of your TV and couch. Watch the same shows. Pass out. Repeat. At long last, the respite of the weekend finally comes. You go to the same bars, and hang out with the same friends, and before you know it, it’s Sunday night. Time to repeat the whole process over again.

    Somehow down the road, you begin to feel like everything turned into too much of a routine. Nothing new happens anymore, and you can’t even remember the last time you really grew or progressed at something new—the last time you felt that burning sensation in your heart, that incomparable feeling of venturing into something new and scary.

    That was me.

    When I was a kid, I remember having this recurring nightmare. I was in prison, and my prison job was making license plates. That was my job for the rest of my life.

    I had to find every combination of letters and numbers, and if I ever made a mistake, I would have to start over. There was no goal. There was no challenge. Just repetition and routine. (There were a lot more intricate details, but I’ll probably just give myself anxiety trying to recall them).

    Anyway, I would wake up in a pool of sweat every night, wake my mom up, and tell her I was having the license plate dream again. She would just look at me like I was crazy; I don’t think I was very good at explaining why it freaked me out so much.

    I don’t think I knew why it freaked me out so much.

    Fast-forward a couple decades. I fell into a rut after a long period of falling into the same routines, day after day. Same jobs, long commute, long days, same weekends. It wasn’t even that I disliked my jobs—I worked in the music events and festivals industry. But my life had turned into such a routine, without challenges, without fear—just the same jobs, the same bars, the same everything, day after day.

    I woke up one day with a thought that scared the hello out of me—when did it all end? I didn’t even know what goal I was working toward. The license plate nightmare had manifested itself into real life.

    Dear God.

    That day, I quit both of my jobs and bought a one-way ticket to Southeast Asia. On this trip, I went through just as many cliché life realizations as the next traveler, but one stuck out far more than any other.

    The safety of my comfort zone was what was holding my growth and happiness back.

    I realized how crazy comfort—one of the biggest roadblocks to our growth—is something our bodies crave the most. However uncomfortable and unnatural it may feel to jump out of our safe zone, the benefits outweigh the initial discomfort drastically. It’s just hard to see the other side sometimes.

    Although the individual acts of leaving that safe space might vary from person to person—whether it’s quitting your dead-end job, traveling to a foreign place, finally talking to that person you’ve been too shy to engage, or simply diversifying your daily routine—I’m going to tell you some concrete reasons why leaving your comfort zone is so important for every person, and why you won’t regret it once you do.

    1. All development comes from outside your comfort zone, especially from failure.

    “We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” ~J.M. Barrie

    Let’s start with the basics. People tend to forget that struggle and discomfort are where all growth happens. Remember when you were a kid, and every single day was a challenge at something new? Your parents forced you to try scary new things you didn’t want to do, and either you succeeded or failed—and either way you were growing the entire time.

    Somewhere along the line, your parents stopped forcing you to do things, and your responsibilities added another layer of chaos into your life, forcing you to retreat into a comfortable routine to achieve a form of stability. In that process, many people start daring less to take a step outside of their comfort zone.

    Subconsciously, we attribute “learning” as a phase that only happens when we’re kids. That’s ridiculous. The learning process never ends, and there is always opportunity to grow, no matter what age you are or situation you’re in.

    We don’t like to try new things because we fear failure, but we need to understand that failure isn’t the end of the road, it’s the beginning. We learn and gain more from failure than we do from succeeding—and way more than if we never took the chance in the first place.

    Whether you succeed or fail at whatever you’re doing, it’ll be a hundred times more valuable to your growth than if you never took the chance in the first place.

    Whether it’s the soreness of your muscles after a long workout, the exhaustion of staying up all night chasing a goal, the fear of venturing into the unknown, or the feeling of failure, one old cliché always remains true: no pain no gain.

    Either you succeed and you grow or you fail and you grow, but trying anything is better than doing nothing.

    2. You’ll discover passions you never knew existed before.

    People often look for new hobbies that’ll fill their life with passion, but many are not only afraid to try new things, they don’t know where to look. They trudge through their daily routine, hoping something new will pop out of nowhere and save them from the repetition.

    Hey, sorry to break it to you, but it’s not going to happen. Nothing’s going to fall in your lap. You have to go find it.

    Not only will leaving your comfort zone help you take a crack at the things you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ll discover other things you never even knew you might’ve liked before.

    When I decided to quit my jobs and go on this trip to Southeast Asia, at one of my darker and lonelier moments (don’t ask), I found myself needing to write something, just to get some emotions off my chest. Little did I know I had just discovered my passion for writing.

    I started writing article after article, and decided to design a website to share them on. I started taking more and more pictures to combine with these articles, which even led to editing travel videos together.

    That’s four things, if you didn’t count. Four things I had never knew I had interest in before. All these newfound hobbies were borne from one thing that I discovered just moments after I left the comfort of my home.

    No matter how much you want to believe it, waiting around for something won’t get you anywhere, but the second you leave your comfort zone, you’d be surprised at how things just start falling into place.

    3. You’ll become more open-minded and understanding, making you appear wiser and more intelligent.

    Life is full of completely different and unique people, but when we get stuck in the same routine, we tend to gravitate toward people that are similar to us. When this is the only interaction in our lives, it leads us to become close-minded and cuts us off from the reality of the differences that exist between people.

    When you’re surrounded by the same people, who share the same opinions about everything, you gain a confirmation bias, and you start to think that a certain way of thinking is how all people think, or how all people should think. (Need an example? Go look at any political party ever.)

    Leaving the comfort of being surrounded by the people you are accustomed to will introduce you to different ways of thinking, which will not only lead to a better understanding of our differences, but an appreciation for them.

    This can be a whole different kind of uncomfortable, but the next time someone that has an opinion you disagree with, instead of immediately trying to convince them your side of the argument, try to understand why they came about that thinking in the first place.

    We all gather our opinions from a rich web of experiences and thousands of variables, yet sometimes we tend to think of other people’s opinions in black and white. Everyone has a reason for why they think the way they do, many of which are a lot deeper under the surface than you might be able to initially see.

    Opening your mind to other people’s cultural views and understanding what their ideologies are based out of (as opposed to just trying to confirm your already established beliefs) is the first step to gaining wisdom that applies to all people, rather than just the social group you’ve become accustomed to.

    4. You’ll gain clarity once you ditch mindless comfort-zone distractions.

    When we continue our routines and watch the same shows, go to the same places, or look at the same apps, we tend to turn our brains off and just follow muscle memory without even noticing. These routines make us feel comfortable and often put our minds to sleep.

    You’d be surprised at how much clearer your mind works once you simply turn your phone and TV off and go explore something new. Your brain will actually start going to work without you even trying.

    Something easy you can do today: Turn your phone off.

    Something harder you can aim for in the future: Turn your phone off for longer.

    5. You’ll become a more confident and sociable person.

    Talking to strangers is often an anxiety-provoking activity for people. We’re constantly fearing we’ll get judged or that we’ll say the wrong thing to the wrong person. First off, let me tell you, everyone feels the same way. That thought alone helped me become a more sociable person without worrying about the consequences of a “failed conversation” (sounds stupid when I put it like that, huh?).

    Interacting in situations with people you usually wouldn’t interact with is a great way to get out of your comfort zone. Go compliment someone you don’t know. What’s the worst that can happen?

    In a more non-direct approach, forget about other people for a second. When you spend your time trying new activities and experiencing things you haven’t done before, through the power of leaving your comfort zone, confidence eventually comes whether you were looking for it or not.

    The very act of being bold enough to try something you haven’t done before will raise your confidence on its own, and that in turn naturally minimizes the fear of interacting with people you don’t know.

    Confidence and social skills will be a byproduct of your breaking of the ordinary. Which leads to the next point…

    6. You’ll become a better storyteller without even trying.

    “No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.” !Chris Hardwick

    Just as confidence and social skills come naturally when outside of your comfort zone, so will the stories. When you make a conscious attempt to leave your comfort zone, you’ll be surprised at how weird, crazy, and awesome things tend to happen more to you more.

    You’ll start amassing an inventory of interesting stories without even trying. All of your failures and successes somehow start to become more of a narrative, rather than a repetitive list of chores.

    Make your life a story that people would want to watch a movie about.

    7. You’ll discover entire worlds you never knew existed before and the communities that go along with them.

    Lastly, you’ll discover tons of different groups and cultures that will amaze you.

    Think about one thing you like to do. For instance, we’ll say you enjoy golf. Think about all the tiny intricacies, tactics, and elements of golf that make you love it so much, whether it’s the careful studying of equipment, the complexity of your body motion, the perfecting of a craft, or just the peace of enjoying a beautiful day. On top of that, think of the entire golfing community that you connect with because of a shared love of an activity.

    Now think about the fact that these passions and communities exist for an infinite amount of activities out there. Foodies for every kind of food. Music lovers of every genre. Fans of every sport. Professionals of every craft. Thousands of different cultures and communities that you have never experienced exist out there—all filled with people that possess as much love and passion for their craft as you do.

    Discovering and sharing new passions with people is one of the greatest joys in this world.

    The possibilities are endless. Go find some new worlds today.

    —

    Feeling like there is no end in sight can be one of the most suffocating feelings in the world. I know from experience that deep, sinking feeling you get in your chest when you realize your life has become too predictable—when nothing new happens, when you feel like you’ve stopped growing as a person.

    The good news is it’s completely in your power to take control of your life and experience what’s out there, and turn that suffocation into freedom, curiosity, and excitement.

    “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” ~Chauncey Depew

    Taking the first step is always the hardest, but I can guarantee you that once you do it, the only thought you’ll have in your head is “Why didn’t I do this earlier?” Every second you spend in this world is precious, and you shouldn’t waste a single second of it wondering if you should have done something. Life is waiting for you to take the reigns.

    Imagine with me again. You wake up five minutes before your alarm, with a head buzzing full of ideas, ready to conquer the day. You go to work with a clear mind, with new goals formulating in your head at what seems like every minute of the day.

    Before you know it, the workday has gone by in a snap, and you race home to start progressing to your next goal, or to write your next idea down, or to plan your next big getaway. Life has become exciting and full of wonder once again.

    No more license plates.

  • A Break from Your Routine

    A Break from Your Routine

  • Do What’s Right for You

    Do What’s Right for You

    Do what's right for you

  • How to Make Life More Exciting and the Benefits of Switching Things Up

    How to Make Life More Exciting and the Benefits of Switching Things Up

    “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.” ~Stephen Hunt

    Isn’t it funny how metaphors for life exist in all of our everyday experiences?

    I found myself on a mountain the other day (no, that’s not the metaphor), where the route through the particularly rocky bits was marked with cairns. (For those non-mountain runners, a cairn is a man-made pile of little rocks indicating the pathway.)

    Even though I was following a fellow runner, I liked to lag behind to enjoy the solitude and absorb the surrounding energy of nature. That’s the hippie in me.

    There were a few times when I found myself gazing around, feeling lost, hands on hips, looking for those all-important cairns.

    I yelled, “Where’s the path?” to my patient partner far up ahead, who replied, “You’re always looking for the path! Just come straight up!”

    And there it is… my metaphor!

    My personal epiphany was that in my life, I’ve always looked for that proverbial path. The straight and narrow. The safe way. The known route traversed by many. Need I go on?

    Looking for the known path narrowed my focus to the immediate surroundings. It kept my world and experience small.

    Had I forged straight up the mountainside, I would have had to navigate through unknown territory on high alert, and with extreme attention and interest. I would have seen different views and experienced a sense of accomplishment and exhilaration.

    Yet, I followed the path.

    How often do we do the same in life?

    Ten years ago I ricocheted in and out of a volatile, toxic relationship.

    Each time I left I would vow to have a clean break and move on. Yet many times (way too many times) I found myself back in this destructive relationship simply because it seemed easier than finding the courage to venture into something new.

    I felt comfortable and safe, as I knew what I was getting. It didn’t matter that I was unhappy; it was the known path.

    We can get from A to B on the known, safe, predictable route, or we can explore a new route and open ourselves to new experiences, adventure, and opportunities.

    So where do we start?

    Acknowledge the Mundane

    Become aware of your daily routines and how they make you feel.

    Start noticing those things you do on automatic pilot, things as simple as your grooming routines. Do you brush your teeth the same way every day? How about what you have for breakfast and lunch? Do you make the same thing because it’s easier and quicker?

    And what do you feel when you’re doing these things? I’m guessing very little.

    Identify the New Possibilities

    Look at ways to do things differently, yet achieve the same (or better) results.

    Ever tried brushing your teeth with the other hand? Trust me, it’s more of a challenge than you think. (And it’ll make you laugh!)

    How about a completely new flavor of coffee? Or tea?

    Or step it up: try yoga in the park instead of the monotony of the gym.

    A spontaneous road trip somewhere new instead of yet another weekend of Netflix.

    The options are endless. Let your imagination lead..

    Plot a New Course for Excitement

    Decide how you’re going to forge new “paths” into your current everyday existence.

    Start with small steps and jot down a few things you can do differently every day.

    Take a different route to work or try a completely new recipe for dinner.

    Try soya milk. Or almond milk. You get the picture.

    Again, observe your feelings as you try new things. Any intrigue? Fascination? At least a bit of interest?

    The Benefits of Switching Things Up

    And now the good bit: You get to reap amazing benefits when you make changes.

    It encourages mindfulness.

    You’re more present, which means your life experience becomes richer and more relevant.

    If I run the same route every day, I fall into autopilot and lose myself in my head. I don’t notice my surroundings at all.

    In today’s chaotic existence it’s not unusual to spend most of our conscious day either looping helplessly in thoughts of the past or fretting aimlessly in thoughts about the future. Both are essentially useless and serve only to create (mostly) bad feelings.

    Being present is calm, interesting, and open.

    It fosters a sense of accomplishment.

    Can you imagine that sense of exhilaration inspired by something new and exciting?

    Go on—think of the last time you felt exhilarated by achieving a new goal. Can you?

    I remember when I completed my first ultra trailrun. I was completely undertrained, yet managed to drag myself through 80kms of mountains only to finish at the back of the field.

    Yet I was completely exhilarated! I’ve never felt more alive and able to conquer the world.

    Absolutely anything has become possible to me as a result of that achievement. I was Super Woman! (My version, at least.)

    I know, it’s a big example, but the message here is to seek out that sense of accomplishment. Daily.

    Smaller goals, more regularly.

    It inspires a sense of adventure.

    When you try something new, there are no habits and fewer rules in how you approach it. The task becomes an avenue of adventure. It’s like a blank slate. Perfect!

    When we repeat things over and over again, it’s human nature to start comparing ourselves.

    If I run the same route every day, I always start comparing my daily performance.

    Was I as quick as yesterday? Do I feel as strong?

    Unfortunately, this generally comes with a hefty helping of self-judgment. Not cool.

    If I’m slower, I feel despondent. Down. Flat.

    Who needs that? Really?

    Varying my routes (and leaving my watch at home) leave me interested and open. Far better.

    Leaping into the unknown can be scary, but it can also be exciting!

    Which leads right to the next point…

    We get to overcome our fears.

    Most of us follow the same paths because they’re safe. By diverting ourselves into the unknown, we’re facing our fears and challenging ourselves to be more courageous.

    I once entered a trail running event that scoured three peaks of a glorious mountain—at night!

    That in itself is a challenge, but add awful weather (gale force wind and horizontal rain) to the mix, and it becomes almost ridiculous!

    Yet I sucked it up and forged forward. Six exhilarating hours of being battered by the elements (did I mention it was dark?), with all my senses on extreme high alert, was nothing less than exhausting. But I cannot begin to describe the multitude of feelings I felt when I finished.

    Stimulated, rejuvenated, accomplished, simply brilliant!

    And if I can do that, what is there that I can’t do?

    Who’s afraid of the dark now?

    Our world expands.

    We know there’s no growth without expansion. When we look for new options we have no choice but to grow.

    To say that my little adventures into the mountains have had a domino effect on the rest of my life would be an understatement.

    Over the last five years I’ve made more changes and taken more risks than I would ever have imagined! Some worked out fantastically and some were more challenging, yet each time I’ve stepped onto a new path my world has expanded. Literally and figuratively!

    I’ve changed careers, relationships, and cities. In that order.

    It was scary, risky, and some would say stupid. Yet I feel great! And that’s just the beginning.

    —

    Ultimately, the question remains: Why waste time doing something uninspiring? Life is simply too precious not to feel good feelings as often as we can.

    Are we actually aware of how much of our day falls into the category of the mundane?

    It’s easy to change.

    And it can be fun!

    Just “get off the path.”

  • How to Turn Everyday Life into an Adventure

    How to Turn Everyday Life into an Adventure

    “Every day is an adventure.” ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

    Be honest.

    It gets to you, doesn’t it?

    You feel trapped in a life of monotonous everyday routine. One dull day merges into the next, each equally forgettable. The months slide past until you look up from your desk and suddenly another birthday’s here.

    So you avidly consume programs and articles on fearless adventurers and bold entrepreneurs who risked everything to pursue their dreams.

    And you follow them hoping someday to have your own stories to tell, your own daredevil memories to post and tweet. But instead, you end up doing nothing but beating yourself up at your seeming lack of adventurous spirit.

    But maybe it’s time you stopped beating yourself up so much. What if adventuring isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?

    What Nobody Tells You About Living an Adventurous Life

    At nineteen, I was also frustrated with the lack of adventure in my life. And then I met a crazy-haired free spirit who catapulted me out of my everyday, humdrum life and into a world of adventure.

    It was amazing.

    But just like all those Photoshopped, celebrity cardboard-cutout Facebook pages, another side existed that few people confess to.

    You see, in between exploring mountains, deserts, and rainforests, and sleeping under a million twinkling stars, were days of hunger, exhaustion, and illness.

    In between meeting strangers who became just like loving family members within hours, were days of arguing with officials, being turned away by border guards, and being stoned with rocks in remote valleys with no hope of outside help.

    In between the adventure of building and sailing our boat were years of living aboard with no shower or heating, even though the second winter hit sub-zero temperatures.

    And even though we have a world record that says we went further than any other fools had gone before, we never knew where our next bed or meal was coming from the whole time.

    Are we glad we did it all? Absolutely.

    Was it like the movies? Not a bit.

    And our forays into business have taught us that the life of an entrepreneur is no different. Every day is just as uncertain, every venture a high wire act without a safety net between possible riches and certain bankruptcy.

    After ten years of living such a lifestyle, the constant uncertainty and discomfort had lost its allure. I wanted a regular income and the luxury of a toilet roll on a daily basis.

    So I settled down into a “normal” life, but within two years, that started to feel humdrum and stale. The lack of stimulation felt suffocating.

    But then I started searching for adventure in everyday life.

    And I swiftly found that opportunities exist to explore and experiment everywhere. You just need to be open to them.

    Actually, can I share a secret with you?

    My life now is way more adventurous (and happier) than before we decided to settle. You see…

    Life isn’t about the extraordinary once in a while; life is about the everyday—and the everyday can be extraordinary. Here’s how.

    Explore Your World

    You can become an everyday explorer without leaving your home and loved ones behind. I believed adventures only awaited in exotic lands. Then my eyes were opened to the truth: Everywhere is somewhere.

    1. Take a different route to work.

    You’ve no idea what you’ll discover. Two years of commuting busy roads was enough, and by taking a slower route, I discovered a beautiful house to rent on the doorstep of my workplace. I now get up earlier, but I can take a safer, quieter route to work.

    2. Discover an unexplored world.

    Take a sabbatical from your usual haunts on the weekend and try somewhere unknown. Forget guidebooks—just get out there and roam freely.

    3. Journey to a faraway land without leaving home.

    Pick a country you know little about, and have a theme night. (Invite friends.) Cook a traditional meal, and immerse yourself in an unknown culture—explore the history, art, and music, maybe even learn a little of the language.

    Find Buried Treasure

    Pull on your buccaneer boots, and realize this truth: If you search for the hidden treasures in your own life, you’ll discover wealth far greater than any rusty chest of tarnished gold.

     1. Uncover your forgotten skills.

    We all underestimate what skills we have and what we can do with them.

    For instance, have you ever arranged a yard sale or got the neighborhood together to raise money for a local project or to clean up the area? If so, you probably have forgotten skills in project management, delegation, budgeting, and cooperation. What other forgotten skills could you uncover and have an adventure with?

    2. Unearth your hidden talents.

    You’ve no idea what you’re capable of until you try. Say yes to things you might have previously said no to. Try your hand at a different sport, or join your local amateur dramatics group.

    I once helped finish a book for a friend who was woefully behind on the publisher’s deadline. Who knew that this previously undiscovered talent would lead me to write a book of my own and become a published author?

    3. Bring your buried blessings to the surface.

    Embark on a voyage of gratitude. Discover that your “dull” life is actually filled with bright blessings; you just need to recognize them to transform your everyday.

    Unleash Your Inner Entrepreneur

    You can become an everyday entrepreneur without having to leave your job. It’s just a question of looking for opportunities.

    1. Run yourself as your own company.

    Even if you’re employed, you can seize opportunities to thrive and grow. Decide where you want to be in five years career-wise, make a plan, and work toward it. Don’t leave it to others to choose your destiny.

    2. Learn to stand up for yourself and speak out.

    Say no to dead-end requests to be free to say yes to real chances of advancement. Rather than oppose change in your company, be the first to embrace it, and see where it can take you.

    3. Put yourself forward.

    Take the initiative and find ways to be more valuable. After I’d consistently volunteered to take on more responsibility, my boss generously paid for my professional studies, supporting my career advancement. All this presented a number of new challenges and adventures.

    Challenge Your Beliefs

    “Adventure is not outside man; it is within.” ~George Elliot

    You can become an everyday pioneer by stepping outside your comfort zone but staying totally inside your safety zone.

    1. Be an everyday seeker of knowledge.

    Challenge your belief that learning stops after high school or college. The adventure of learning never stops. Turn your boring evenings or weekends into an exciting quest for knowledge. You can learn anything from accounting to zoology, often for free, with online universities such as the Khan Academy.

    2. Freshen up your perspective.

    Have a break from everything you normally read, watch, or listen to. Pick different genres, explore, and experiment. Turn an everyday couch-side veg-out into a fascinating, inspiring journey into new worlds.

    3. Question all your limiting self-beliefs.

    Limiting self-beliefs stop one from taking a risk and trying new things. Overcoming these mental barriers is an adventure in itself that can transform your life.

    For years I believed I wasn’t creative, but I finally took the plunge and started drawing and painting. Now my previously dull evenings are filled with creative fun.

    Take a Chance on Love

    You can have your own Romancing The Stone adventure without risking life and limb.

    1. Take the blinkers off.

    Searching for love? Abandon preconceptions about your “perfect partner” and where you might find each other. Approach someone even if they don’t seem like your type. Leave your online dating profile open-ended.

    2. Never stop exploring.

    Settled in a relationship? Shake up the romance with a challenge to see how close you can become. Mark and I regularly play a fun game of writing out what we’d like life to be like, which led us, after fifteen years living together, to get married and embark on a new adventure.

    3. Have an affair—with yourself.

    Go on a personal voyage of discovery to fall in love with yourself. Perform an act of self-love each day. Journal all the positive things you did and said, and all the people you helped. Begin to see what a wonderful human being you are.

    Discover That the Greatest Adventure Is Helping Others

    Adventurers throughout history have sought personal fame or fortune. But, there is greater gain in helping others and greater reserves to be found in your heart than in any bank.

    1. Make the first move.

    Befriend a stranger at work or in your neighborhood. Be the first to break the ice and introduce yourself. Offer them a sincere compliment, and make their day. A stranger is just a friend-in-waiting.

    2. Try your hand at fund-raising.

    Explore inspiring ways to assist a charity you believe in to raise vital funds. Organize a car wash, or put on a local talent show.

    3. Immerse yourself in someone else’s world.

    Challenge your own preconceptions by volunteering. I foster hearing dogs, and our darling house guests have given me a much greater insight into the challenges the hearing impaired face.

    Turn the Ordinary into the Extraordinary

    You are too extraordinary to live ordinarily. You truly are an adventurous spirit.

    That’s exactly why you must live your own life of everyday adventures.

    You just have to unleash your curiosity.

    You can stay in your home, your job, your life. Your adventurous spirit can thrive right where you are now.

    Pick an idea from the list that lights your adventure torch. Start with one, and build in some others when you’re ready.

    Get out there and experiment, explore, and experience.

    Go make the everyday extraordinary.

  • How to Stick with New Habits When It’s Hard

    How to Stick with New Habits When It’s Hard

    “Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” ~Benjamin Franklin

    You probably agree with that statement.

    But, for you (and everyone else) the problem is that good habits are hard to form and bad habits are easy to keep.

    It is certainly true for me. Like most of us, I meant to start exercising for about six years after I started my career.

    But it never happened. I’d do it for two or three weeks here and there, but nothing that ever stuck.

    Then, all of a sudden, it did.

    And it did because something changed for me. I had a son that was old enough to mimic me who I wanted to be able to keep up with for the next twenty years.

    That scared me straight essentially.

    In a number of areas in my life, including fitness, I realized he was going to base a significant portion of his view of how to live life and what habits were important off of what he watched me do.

    So I stopped acting like I was going start exercising and actually did it.

    To create my new habit, I used a combination of the techniques below.

    You can use them to firm up your new habit and get your good habit quotient up.

    1. How “meaning well” guarantees failure.

    We’ve all told ourselves that, even if we didn’t do what meant to, at least we meant well.

    “I meant well” is a pretty good way to make sure your habit won’t stick. It is making your intentions the ultimate measure.

    The problem is, you don’t actually have to do anything to have good intentions. So you won’t.

    Deciding that what you value is results rather than intentions is critical to you actually forming your new habit.

    When you shift your value from intentions to results, you will stop just talking about starting the habit or trying to figure out the perfect way to do it, and just start doing it because that is the only way to get the results you want.

    You will figure it out along the way, and when you do, you will be much closer to the result you want.

    2. Mondays aren’t special; start your new habit today.

    Start whatever habit you are trying to create the day you decide to create it.

    No need to wait for the next Monday (or the next day you get a solid eight hours of sleep or when a magical fairy whispers in your ear that you should start today).

    Starting now will make creating your habit easier.

    Delay will have two consequences you want to avoid: a) you lose the days between when you decided to start and when you actually did, which you could have used to practice your new habit and b) instead, you will have spent those days practicing exactly what you are seeking to avoid, not doing the habit.

    So start now, and use those precious days to practice the result you actually want.

    3. Why torture yourself?

    Starting a new habit is hard and keeping it is harder. But if you know why you are doing it, it makes it much easier to stick to.

    Using the example from my life, when the reason I was trying to work out was because it was something I was “supposed to do,” and I wanted to lose the extra pounds because my clothes fit tighter than I liked, it didn’t work.

    But it finally clicked when my “why” became to keep up with my high-energy son now, to be fit enough to keep moving and playing well into old age, and to be a good example for him.

    Now, if for some reason I have to skip a workout, it bothers me instead of giving me a sense of relief. It’s been quite a change.

    For you to make the change, you also have to have an actual goal that you care about, that is yours, not what everyone says you should do.

    Then creating the habit will be about the why, not the habit. The habit that is just a means to the end you want.

    So if you miss a day, you aren’t just missing a day of your habit, you are missing an opportunity to get to your goal. That’s much harder to skip.

    4. The how is irrelevant; talk to yourself about the why.

    This is a huge one. How we talk to ourselves about the new habit will almost completely determine whether it sticks.

    Do we talk about the habit as just the habit, or in terms of why we want the habit in the first place?

    Here’s what I mean, using my fitness example…

    Back when I couldn’t make it stick, my self-talk fairly often went like this:

    “I’m tired; I need another hour of sleep (despite having watched three hours of Netflix prior to deciding to go to bed the night before), so I’ll skip the workout today. It’s no big deal, I’ll get it tomorrow.”

    I’d have this conversation a few mornings in a row, and eventually I didn’t even go through the trouble of having it; working out out just wasn’t an option anymore.

    But then it changed. On those mornings when I hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep, I started talking to myself in terms of my “why,” not my “how” (the actual habit).

    That went like this: “Do I want to exchange this chance to be a good example and a more active father for an hour of sleep?” I never said yes.

    When you are asking yourself whether today is the day that you skip whatever your habit is, frame it around the result you are seeking, not the action you are taking to get the result.

    You are much less likely to bail because doing so will be essentially deciding you no longer want that result.

    5. Decide once, and never decide again.

    Every time you are faced with whether you will stick to your new habit, you are faced with an opportunity to quit.

    So make it easy on yourself; decide once at the beginning that whatever your habit is, that is what you do now, and then don’t ever reconsider the question.

    I leaned heavily on this one when starting to workout regularly.

    I didn’t decide I would workout today.

    I decided I would get fit and stay fit, and I decided that working out three days a week (MWF) was how I would do it.

    Not working out stopped being an option. I didn’t have to face whether I would workout every day, I had already answered that question when I decided I would get fit, so I stopped asking it.

    I definitely have to remind myself of it every once in awhile, particularly on nights where I don’t get near the sleep I would like.

    But I still, for the most part, never ask the question. I just get up and go.

    Decide once and be done with it.

    Declare that you are the person that does your habit because you want to reach your goal, then act in accordance with that declaration.

    6. Do your work early.

    Put yourself in a position where you are committed before you have to commit. Do something so that you will have to actively undue it to avoid performing the habit.

    To continue my workout example, the night before I am going to workout, I put my gym bag together, get out my workout clothes and shoes, and put them in a pile in my living room.

    Now, for me to not go workout, I will have to put those clothes back up. I have to actively do something to not workout. So, instead, I put on the clothes and go workout.

    Find something you can do that commits you to performing your new habit before you actually have to perform the habit, and, since you already have to do something, you will likely just do the habit instead of undoing the thing you did.

    Now What?

    Take one or more of the six methods and apply them to that habit you can’t seem to get to stick.

    Do it today.

    You will be pleasantly surprised at how much easier it will be to actually stick to it this time.

    But, before you do that, I’d love to hear what has helped you create and keep new habits, either one of the six above or something else. Please leave a comment below and let me know!

  • When You’re Restless Because Every Day Feels the Same

    When You’re Restless Because Every Day Feels the Same

    Bored Man

    “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    Years ago I found my self at a low point. It wasn’t a big, life-changing event that got me there; just a sudden realization that life sucked. Every day of that horrible summer, this question nagged at me: “Is this as good as it gets?”

    My sons were very young then and always happy, a joy to be around. My marriage was healthy and my husband was doing great. The problem was me—my pain body had attached itself to this feeling of “Is this all there is?”

    I spent many hours on my couch trying not to look like I was in this funk in front of my boys so they wouldn’t feel any negativity.

    I plodded along with everyday things, such as driving them to friends’ houses and joining my friends for lunch, but I lived with this underlying resentment that was consuming me, swallowing me up like a dark cloud.

    It felt like I had reached a point in life where I knew it all (of course, I hadn’t even scratched the surface), and I’d figured everything out, and now what? 

    I would get up every morning and go through my routine, part of which involved making my bed.

    When I was feeling this way and I was lost in my own perception of things, I would look at our bed as I put it together and have a sense of ugh! Here I am, making this bed again to have the same predictable day only to get into it again tonight and start all over tomorrow.

    WHAT’S IT ALL FOR?  

    This question nagged at me as I made sure the pillows lined up and ran my hands over the duvet to smooth it to non-wrinkled perfection. Yuk! What did it matter? Why did I care? Was this it? Would I just stay on my little path with these little details until I die?

    I couldn’t find my way back to happiness. I was stuck. Thankfully, the Universe and my free will started to show me another side.

    A friend opened my eyes to a different perspective and I started to re-think all of my negative thoughts. She helped me see everything around me with new eyes instead of taking it all for granted.

    I felt an opening of my soul and realized that there was so much more than I had previously allowed into my life. Just the fact that I was open to receive this better, more positive way of viewing my life made me happier.

    Within weeks I started gardening and got lost in the outdoors and the smell of the Earth.

    I was emerging as a more enlightened soul, lighter, taking on the day and feeling excited to do simple things—things that I had not considered doing for a long time, such as hiking and just sitting in the grass for hours.

    As part of my morning routine, I started meditating in my yard, then doing yoga in the glorious sun. My whole perception of my life turned around and I reveled in each day, so happy to be here in this beautiful place, having this amazing experience.

    Filled with love for my family, myself, and just about everyone and everything, I had transformed. And just like that, I left behind that persistent question, “What’s it all for?”

    Now I knew what it all was for—to experience love, to give it, to receive it, to relate to the Universe and others as part of the sum of everything imaginable.

    My life situation hadn’t changed; I hadn’t moved away or started a new career. I didn’t seek therapy or join any club. I simply changed my perception about my life. I saw things with new eyes and realized how closed off I had become.

    I have never again allowed myself to go to that dark place, as I am still high on life, with all of its simple pleasures and splendor. I walk around this beautiful lake every morning and marvel at nature and how perfect it is. I find ten miracles before breakfast, and I am living a life of joy. 

    I make my bed every morning, and I always make sure to run my hand over the duvet to make it smooth. I line up the pillows and spend a minute so it looks neat. I think about the day and how amazing it is that I can create whatever I choose.

    With a feeling of being blessed, I have deep gratitude for everything in my life. And then I think, “Wow, I’m about to have a great day and then end up back here back in my bed with my husband! How awesome is that?”

    Recognize that your thoughts represent just one possible way to perceive your circumstances. Write down all the great things in your life and decide to throw away any negative, self-limiting thoughts.

    It’s your choice how you see your life, so see it as a beautiful gift and take on each day with love in your heart and a smile on your face.

    Bored man image via Shutterstock

  • Finding Contentment in the Rhythms of an Everyday Life

    Finding Contentment in the Rhythms of an Everyday Life

    Happy Face

    “The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.” ~Paulo Coelho

    As the day of my daughter’s second birthday approaches, I have found myself reflecting more and more on the first few months of her life.

    She arrived on a Sunday morning as winter gave way to spring, full of life and ready to embrace her humanness as only a brand new human can. There was snow lingering on the ground, and the sunrise that day was full of anticipation and the unknowing that comes along with waiting for something that is impossible to predict.

    We brought her home a few days later, unsure and anxious as so many new parents are, and settled into a rhythm that was punctuated with nursing, changing diapers, washing diapers, bouncing the baby to sleep, and waiting for her to cry so the pattern could continue.

    It was a rhythm of trial and melancholy and immeasurable joy, somehow all rolled into one. As the cliché goes, having a baby changes everything.  

    I remember the first day I left the house alone to walk around a nearby lake. I remember feeling anxious that she would need to nurse while I was gone, and that my husband would have to deal with a screeching infant until my return.

    I remember stepping around melting piles of grey snow and skirting mud puddles as I made my way down the driveway, out to the gravel road. I remember feeling the sun on my face and how good it felt to reclaim the use of my physical body.

    I remember feeling like that walk—even with the mud puddles and drab weather—was enough to satisfy my need to feel alive and in my own skin, one human embracing her humanness, for the rest of the day.

    I remember coming back into the house and melting back into the rhythm. I remember feeling like just being part of that rhythm was enough.

    That feeling of contentment from having just one half hour alone, outside, moving over the earth on foot lasted for several months. I felt a sense of peace after coming in from a run, or time spent in the garden, or the occasional longer hike in the woods.

    I went back to work full-time and started running or gardening in the morning as the sun came up.

    Despite the extra demands that came with adding work to the rhythm of the days, that sense of peace—the sense that the ordinary rhythm of ‘life with baby’ was enough—lingered. For a while. 

    A few months after the baby marked her first birthday, I noticed that sense of peace slipping. I found myself wanting more time, more resources, and more flexibility to do what I wanted to do.

    I found myself wanting to feel like I was making a difference, like I mattered enough, like I was enjoying enough. I found myself wanting to feel content with life and wanting to feel satisfied with the everyday.  But I wasn’t.

    Somewhere in the space between my daughter’s birth and her twenty month birthday, that sense of peace got stuck behind a different rhythm that felt busy and lacking and not enough.

    A half-hour walk outside wasn’t doing it for me anymore. After coming inside, I wanted another half hour, and then another, and then another. Sometimes all the time in the world, all the recognition in the world, all the happiness in the world, it didn’t feel like enough.

    I can’t say that I have completely regained that feeling of complete contentment. But as I reflect on the months just after my daughter’s birth, as her second birthday gets nearer, I reclaim some of that peace.

    In acknowledging that feeling of lack, of discontent, and of happiness that comes and goes, I am inviting that peace to return to the rhythm. 

    It will undoubtedly still be a rhythm of trial, of melancholy, and of immeasurable joy, because that is what being human is about. It is about celebrating the mountaintops and accepting the valleys and their shadows.

    It is about remembering that joy and peace remain present even when they seem buried beneath wanting, discontent and overwhelming schedules.

    It is about seeing the extraordinary in something as mundane as a walk around a frozen lake on a muddy gravel road. It is about remembering that we are all full of life and have the capacity to fully embrace our humanness.

    It is about recognizing the instinct to do something to change a feeling or the persistent need to address our desire for more—and letting it be there. Sometimes there’s simply nothing to do but accept that being human means letting all feelings speak, and then letting them pass when they no longer serve.

    Perhaps embracing our humanness and the life that comes with it means celebrating the anticipation and the unknowing that comes with waiting for something that is impossible to predict.

    Photo by bharatnow.net

  • 5 Ways to Turn Simple Daily Tasks into Meaningful Rituals

    5 Ways to Turn Simple Daily Tasks into Meaningful Rituals

    “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~ Robert Brault

    “Routine” can seem like a dirty word; we can get stuck repeating the same actions over and over again and feel like slaves to our habits.

    Yet there are some things we simply cannot get around—sleeping, waking, eating, working, and engaging with others. There are also repetitions that we embrace as rituals—Friday afternoon with its promise of the weekend, weekly religious observances, a favorite TV show even.

    What if we could turn regular, seemingly mundane daily activities into ritualistic celebrations instead of nagging chores?

    Turning quotidian activities into rituals, or creating new daily practices, transforms the little stuff into opportunities to stop, show gratitude, and marvel at the beauties of regular life.

    One of my rituals is praying. I pray on my knees every day and have been for 20 years. For me, it is a place of comfort and self-love. I love it. It’s like breathing—just happens no matter what.

    1. Affirm, affirm, affirm again.

    Affirmations remind us of what we value and put us on a path toward a happier, more mindful day. An affirmation is a statement about what we would like to experience, stated in a way that invites this new reality because we state it as already being true.

    Studies show that repeatedly saying affirmations physically creates new pathways and connections in your brain.

    Write your own affirmation to repeat to yourself at a pre-determined time each day. When writing, remember: (more…)

  • How to Enjoy Your Routine and Still Work Toward Goals

    How to Enjoy Your Routine and Still Work Toward Goals

    Woman at Work

    “There is little success when there is little laughter.” ~Andrew Carnegie

    As a former night owl converting to a morning person, I’ve made a few discoveries about adopting a new routine.

    Now that I wake up before sunrise, I experience a slow decline in my enthusiasm at around 10:00AM.

    The other day, I realized that I had not yet poured myself a cup of coffee. Completely floored at how I managed to forget—but also grateful and proud that my energy stayed up naturally up until that point—I made my way to the office coffee machine.

    I felt a sense of panic as I searched for the coffee bean bag on the counter—nowhere to be found. I looked in the grinder to see if perhaps the leftover grinds from yesterday could somehow fill my mug today. It couldn’t.

    I finally looked in a cabinet nearby and—tah dah!—a whole stash of coffee beans ready to be ground! A sense of calm came back instantaneously. What I realized between 10:00AM and 10:11AM, while searching for coffee, is this:

    I’m deeply fond of the comforts of my routine, whether I choose to admit or not.

    I’ve fought it for the past few years. I’d come into the office sluggish and frustrated, and it was written all over my face to the point where co-workers would avoid me. I didn’t find a sense of purpose in my job, and since I was a transparent person, I justified that it was okay to show it.

    I was miserable during many parts of 2009 and 2010. I thought if I embraced my routine, I would somehow be settling. (more…)