“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~Pema Chodron
In my twenties I had dreams that I could fly. Literally. In my mind’s eye, I had a vision of myself dancing in the air. I thought if I were an animal, I would be a graceful eagle soaring through the skies.
Never mind I am just shy of six feet tall and aerodynamically inept. I had a dream and I was going to follow it. Hence, I called the local circus teacher to pursue the hobby of aerial acrobatics.
My favorite nest became a piece of silk fabric also known as aerial tissue. I would spend hours dangling in the air while twirling, spiraling, and practicing an array of tricks.
If you have seen Cirque du Soleil, it’s likely you’ve seen this apparatus. The tissue is a colorful piece of fabric, typically hanging twenty to thirty feet in the air, which provides the landscape for acrobats to climb, dance, and perform a series of contortionist and ballerina-type moves.
I was a novice on all levels of performance, with the exception of a few good moves (in my opinion), but my passion was unstoppable.
One day I improperly rigged the tissue. While climbing fifteen feet into the air, the knot securing the tissue to a beam gave away. The result: a splattered me—two shattered wrists, fractured spinal vertebrae, and a broken foot.
Life as I knew it disappeared. In an instant, I lost my capacity to work, care for myself, and function independently.
At nine on Monday morning I was an avid athlete, massage therapist, and yoga instructor. At noon I was a hospital resident, infantile adult, and defeated cripple.
My life utterly and completely shattered, offering me one of my most challenging opportunities to become more fully awake.
I became 100% dependent on others for all my basic needs. I was fed, bathed, and taken to the bathroom. My nimble feet were reduced to wheels on a chair. My arms casted like prisoners. My back braced like steel.
The lessons I received were seemingly impossible to grasp in the moment, and yet they form the core of whom I am today.
Would I do it again? No. Would I do it differently if I could? Possibly. Would I trade in the personal growth I gained? Not in a million years.
As challenging, difficult, lonely, surprising, and frustrating as the experience was, as I began to view it as a doorway rather than an accident. I transformed my injury into an awakening.
Defying doctor’s prognosis and popular opinion, four months later, I was back on my feet teaching, giving healing sessions, and practicing yoga.
If you are up against the wall, if you have lost a loved one, your health, a job, a sense of direction or a feeling of hope, if you so choose, you too can transform your most difficult situation into opportunity. (more…)
