Tag: possibility

  • Stop Fearing Uncertainty & Get Excited About Possibilities

    Stop Fearing Uncertainty & Get Excited About Possibilities

    Man Jumping

    “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Osho

    Once, during an AmeriCorps leadership retreat, I was asked to create a motto for my life, a mission statement for my future. I was handed a blank piece of paper and I was terrified.

    At the time, my life was filled with uncertainty. My year of national community service was coming to an end. I didn’t know what my next job would be, let alone what my life’s mission statement should be.

    As I sat, panic stricken, staring into my uncertain future and an empty page, I began to think of all the futures I could have.

    It began negatively, but slowly my dreamer mentality kicked in. I imagined hundreds of possible futures for myself, as an artist, a writer, a teacher, a missionary, a mother, and a million other things.

    That was the point when I realized that my uncertainty was my greatest asset. I had infinite paths available to me, not just one. So I wrote the following on that scary blank piece of paper: I vow to live a life of infinite possibility.

    That sounds like a fairly lofty goal, but what it means for my everyday life is that I refuse to allow fear, failure, or insecurities to limit my future.

    That doesn’t mean I don’t feel all of those things all the time. It just means that when I look at a possible future for myself, I don’t automatically turn one down because I am afraid I won’t succeed.

    It’s a hard thing to embrace uncertainty. Sometimes all we can see is the cloud of doubt and question marks. But when the future isn’t set, when we aren’t destined to become just one thing, we can become anything.

    In my life this means that when I face starting over, whether that is looking for a new job, a new apartment, or a new town, I try to ignore the limits that fear and stress want to put on my life.

    In the years since I stared down that blank piece of paper, I have learned a few tricks to see the possible on the other side of a blank page.

    I try to use my imagination and visualization as much as possible.

    Our creative thinking is often the only thing that can help us see through that pesky cloud of question marks. Whether it is creating a story about my awesome future as a best-selling author, or just imagining what I might look like with a new haircut, imagination and visualization help us see beyond what is to what could be.

    I also find it helpful not to rule any future out initially.

    I don’t think I will ever go to medical school and become a doctor, but I don’t want to limit myself too soon. If I tell myself that certain futures are off limits, I don’t ease uncertainty, I simply limit my possibilities.

    I still have trouble at times spinning the uncertainty of life into possibility. No matter how many stories I tell children about my amazing life as a superhero, I haven’t actually managed to become one…yet. I still feel the panic rise when uncertainty starts to loom.

    Recently, as I tried to imagine my life beyond my current graduate program, I hit a wall of questions. More accurately, when presented with a cloud of questions, I created a wall of doubt. I questioned my skill set and I doubted the existence of any future prospects.

    I stopped seeing the possibilities and only saw catastrophe. I would never find a “real” career; I would never be successful. I felt myself descending into a spiral of negativity. I could only imagine one terrible possible outcome—complete failure.

    In the end, none of my hard-learned lessons about possibility could help me. The weight of the uncertain future was too much; it pulled me down. It took the words of a dear friend to pull me out of the limited and terrible future I created for myself.

    As I was lamenting my terrible uncertainty, and the horrible future that would befall me since I still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, my wise friend said, “I am so jealous, you can go anywhere.” Just like that it clicked. My friend was jealous of the uncertain future that lay ahead of me.

    Suddenly, I remembered the mission statement I wrote on that paper so long ago. I vow to live a life of infinite possibility. Not an easy life, not a certain life, but a life of possibility.

    Many of my possibilities come from being mobile, but most lives of infinite possibility are lived much closer to home.

    My friend, who has a mortgage and a baby, finds her possibilities in online courses that give her new skills and inspirations. We all have a whole host of possibilities available to us, if we can think creatively and positively.

    Still, these infinite possibilities can become their own source of worry and struggle. Ultimately, I had to pick a path for my life post-graduate school. No matter how many choices we are offered, we all have to pick one direction and just start going.

    As I attempted to whittle down the choices that had made my friend so jealous, I found it was helpful to look at areas of past success.

    I often seek the counsel of those nearest and dearest to me, but when I tried to talk to others about all of these overwhelming choices, everyone became overwhelmed. So instead of discussing the multitude of options, we discussed me. I shared my passions; they shared what they saw as my strengths. A pattern began to emerge.

    I began to see places where my strengths, my passions, and my possibilities overlapped. Then I was able to narrow down my list enough to make a decision.

    I decided to apply to yet another graduate school, but this time one that would allow me to live near my family instead of thousands of miles away. I had taken the unknown, turned it into infinite possibilities, and then chosen the possibility that fit me best.

    Maybe for you, possibility lies in the set of paints that you forgot you loved.

    Maybe finding possibilities means letting go of the pressure to find the right possibility, and enjoying whichever one comes your way for now.

    Maybe you embrace possibility by writing your own life motto and seeing where it takes you.

    Happy man jumping image via Shutterstock

  • Let Go of “I Can’t…” and Go After What You Want

    Let Go of “I Can’t…” and Go After What You Want

    Happy and Free

    “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ~Nelson Mandela

    Do you wish your circumstances in life were different? Have you reconciled yourself to accept that you can’t achieve your goals? Do you think it would be nice to travel, but you don’t think you can afford it?

    It’s time to change your mindset and learn how to take control of your own life.

    Think Like a Child

    Children don’t like to accept “no” for an answer. They question every refusal. “But why not?” they ask.

    “Because we can’t afford it” is not an acceptable answer to a child. That has no real meaning to him.

    A couple of years ago, my son set his heart on a gaming computer. That’s a souped-up, fancy, faster, better, very expensive desktop PC. The price on these things start at over $1,000.

    I explained it was out of the question, not in the realm of possibility for us at my income level. But he wouldn’t let it go. He wouldn’t accept that we couldn’t afford one. He had to find a way. He kept coming up with ideas and “what ifs.”

    What if his grandparents and everyone we know who buys him birthday and Christmas presents put all their money together to buy the gaming computer?

    Well, that still wouldn’t be enough money, but the more intelligent his suggestions became, the more I started to take them seriously. Maybe he’s onto something here. We sat down to brainstorm and write down ideas of how we could actually make this happen.

    And we did make it happen! We asked my ex if he would contribute to the new computer, and he agreed to help. My son asked for cash only from family members for his birthday and Christmas. The ex found a friend who could build a computer for our son, and we ordered the parts from Amazon.

    We ended up getting a sleek and beautiful, powerful gaming computer worth about $1,500, but it only cost me $400.

    A few months later, my daughter shared her monumental dream of going to Paris. Having just learned the above lesson from my son, I refrained from saying, “No possible way! We can’t afford it.”

    Instead of dismissing the idea as unrealistic or out of the question, I thought about it seriously and came up with a plan to save from my tax refund over the next several years. My daughter will be asking grandparents for cash gifts for her coming birthdays during that time span as well.

    We began this plan right after she turned thirteen, and our goal is to visit Paris by the time she is seventeen.

    Develop a Plan 

    What do you want out of life? Is there something you want to achieve that you think is out of your reach?

    First, change your mindset. Instead of dismissing your dream as unrealistic or too big, ask yourself what it would take to accomplish it. Don’t dismiss your dreams; think how you can make them happen!

    Brainstorm with friends or family. Sometimes they will have different ideas you may not have thought of. Anyone who is not helpful or tries to tell you that you can’t achieve your goal does not get to play!

    Develop a plan for achieving what you want in small, do-able steps. Make each step relatively easy to accomplish so you achieve success right away. That feeling of success in achieving each goal will motivate you to reach the next one.

    Too often, people fail in achieving their goals simply because they don’t develop a do-able plan like this to help them succeed.

    Do you want to earn a degree, lose twenty pounds, move to a nicer place, or organize your house? Develop your plan to begin your process of getting there!

    For example, instead of the vague idea of losing twenty pounds, come up with a plan to set several smaller steps that you can reach easily.

    You could start with the first step something like committing to exercise for twenty minutes while watching your favorite TV shows only three days a week. Or walk the dog ten minutes longer each day. Something that makes sense for you with your own lifestyle that will be easy for you to succeed.

    Then when you get that step down, go to your next step which could be eating a healthy salad for lunch three days a week or drink a glass of water before each meal or whatever you know will work for you to accomplish another step closer toward your ultimate goal.

    You will stay motivated as you achieve each step, and the process will be much more painless than attempting a strict diet or exercise regimen all at once.

    When New Year’s resolutions fail, it is usually because a whole lifestyle change is much more difficult to stick to than one easy positive change at a time. Be patient. Those small positive changes will lead you to achieve big goals!

    In the scenario of organizing the house, increase your chance of success by developing your plan of small, do-able steps, and then accomplish the first one. You could start with a hall closet one weekend. Your child’s left-side dresser drawers. A section of the garage.

    As you mark off each small goal successfully accomplished, you move closer toward your ultimate goal of the whole house. You’ll be much more likely to keep motivated because you will not feel too overwhelmed with those small tasks you can accomplish quickly.

    After you develop your plan and divide your goal into small, do-able steps, take that first step. Now you’ve actually started! Reach your first easy goal, and then ride on that feeling of success to accomplish the next one. You’re unstoppable! Be patient and persevere. You’ll get where you want to be!

    What dream can you make your reality by developing your plan to make it happen?

    Photo by Kara Harms

  • 5 Tips to Help You Stop Limiting Your Potential

    5 Tips to Help You Stop Limiting Your Potential

    Like Flying

    “Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

    I learned one of my biggest lessons in life when I ran into a high school bully many years ago. He was totally different from the last time I saw him. He was now passionate about life and adventure, and he looked very happy.

    He had a thriving textile trading business and he was set to open a clothing store in less than a year.

    After hearing his story, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself.

    I realized that in my resentment toward him for hurting me years ago, I had belittled him and didn’t give him a chance to change or prove himself.

    Yes, he made a portion of my teenage life miserable. But it was unfair for me to completely dismiss his capability to turn his life around and unleash his true potential.

    His story was amazing. He spoke many times of taking risks and breaking barriers. He fought his inner demons as he struggled his way to a new life. He also had to resist negativity from some family members about starting his own business.

    I went home that day happy that I had made a new friend, enriched with new life lessons that I acquired from his powerful story.

    I learned from him that it is actually we who sometimes stop ourselves from reaching our full potential by not challenging ourselves. I was no exception; I realized that I too had been stopping myself from growing because of my own inhibitions.

    Long ago after college, I set my mind on taking a master’s degree. I didn’t make any concrete plans because although part of me wanted to to do it, I was scared of the idea of taking higher-level studies while working full time.

    I decided to ignore my fears and apply for admission a few weeks after I met my friend.

    I haven’t earned the degree yet, but I must say my growth and experience while studying was very rewarding. I gained valuable exposure to new research information that wouldn’t have been made available to me had I not signed up.

    I was also able to establish new connections with brilliant-minded people whom I turn to for professional advice and favors even to this day.

    I would like to share with you a few things I learned when I met my new friend; these may help you unleash your own potential.

    1. Let go of bitterness.

    My friend whose story I just shared told me how his parents’ separation affected his attitude in life. He became bitter as he grew, and this prevented him from making early breakthroughs.

    When he was finally able to move on in his mid twenties, he left behind a trail of hurt people and many missed opportunities for personal and professional growth.

    Obviously, he was able to make up for the missed opportunities because he was able to put up his own textile trading business. Nonetheless, he could have done more sooner if he hadn’t let his bitterness hold him back.

    If you’re holding onto anger and resentment, ask yourself: What might you be able to do if you let it go?

    2. Take major risks.

    Take risks. Big ones! That was what my friend did when he started his textile business. He could have asked his rich father for support, but he chose to do it on his own.

    He started out late in life and he wanted to catch up with everyone by going for broke. He said that even if his investment failed, he knew that he’d learn something valuable from that experience.

    Don’t be afraid to try something big. No matter where it takes you, it will enable you to learn and grow.

    3. Drown out the voices that tell you “that’s impossible.”

    Shameful as it was, I dismissed my friend as someone who was destined for misery. I was so distracted by what I was seeing from him on the outside that I thought it was impossible for him to change. But he knew himself better and he successfully turned things around.

    The same can happen for you. No matter what other people say, you have limitless potential to change, grow, and thrive.

    4. Break out of your self-stereotype.

    When I was growing up, I was fixated on the idea that there were only two kinds of kids: the good and the bad. The good kids had a wonderful future ahead, but the bad ones had nothing but misfortune and suffering awaiting them.

    I equated being good with certain types of professions, such as doctors, architects, and teachers. I aspired to be like them, but in my blindness I shut myself from exploring other things that I may have had a chance at excelling in.

    Later when I began trying out other things like writing, I began to see that I not only enjoyed them, but I also seemed to be good at them.

    Don’t limit your possibilities. If there’s something you think you might enjoy, give yourself the opportunity to find out.

    5. Listen when people praise your talents.

    Until not too long ago, I wasn’t keen on listening to people’s suggestions on showing and developing my hidden talents. They said “You’re so good at this! You should be doing this more!” But I dismissed the affirmations, thinking that those abilities were not within the parameters of my self-stereotype.

    We are our own worst enemy, so they say. It was certainly true for me and my friend.

    If you want to unleash your true potential and earn major breakthroughs in your life, you’ve got to start by believing in yourself.

    Photo by erismirror

  • What Would Happen If You Did? (And Other Questions That Can Change Your Life)

    What Would Happen If You Did? (And Other Questions That Can Change Your Life)

    “If it’s still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk.” ~ Paulo Coelho

    I felt stuck. Why could I never achieve anything? Why could I never do anything tangible?

    Everyone else seemed to have no problem. You see, my friends could both work hard and grow themselves at the same time.

    Not me.

    I felt stuck.

    Every day when I came home after work I was just exhausted. I had no energy whatsoever to study my Chinese Mandarin (a long-term project of mine) or to go for a jog in the nearby forest. All my energy had been put into a job I didn’t even enjoy that much.

    I just knew I could get more out of life. What I really wanted was to spend time on my own projects—to do what I love the most. Well, to me, the only way I could shift my reality was to basically to change priorities—to put life before work.

    But how? How does one do that?

    In practice, the only tangible solution I could see was to wake up early in the morning. Really, really early. That way I would be able to pour all my fresh energy into what is most important to me.

    But I can’t do that. It’s crazy, right? That would change my entire way of living. It simply doesn’t fit the rest of the world.

    So I decided it was crazy and went on with my life. Until one day when speaking to a colleague. We came upon the topic and after a while he asked me…

    “What would happen if you did?”

    I was silent.

    “Yeah, what would really happen if I did?” I thought.

    And he continued on the same path and said: “What wouldn’t happen if you did?”

    I was silent again. I was thinking.

    I could actually only see positive things happening from making this change in my life. Previously, I hadn’t even had the courage to really get out of the box of the problem and see what choices I had.

    This question expanded my view of the world and literally changed my life. I was not so stuck anymore. And I realized that I had been so focused on the problem that I had been unable to see anything else.

    I guess you can relate to those few moments in life when we finally are able to see something for what it really is. It doesn’t have to happen through a big life-changing question. Sometimes a simple question is enough.

    So with focus on solving my problem I gave it a try, waking up early in the morning. And you see, when I do something, I like to do it big. So I set my goal to rise at 4:00 every morning.

    That would give more than three hours of doing whatever I want with a fresh mind and relaxed body. Hopefully.

    Now, I don’t want you to think that it’s that easy to basically “change time zone” and become an early riser, but with the right mindset anyone is able to.

    For me, it was the question that made it all possible. The question that changed my life.

    I think the main reason this question helped me was because I was brutally honest with myself. There are so many things that actually would (or at least could) happen if I did. At the same time, I realized that none of this would happen unless I went for it.

    For example, I would be able to…

    • Finally start that website of my own.
    • Keep a daily exercise routine without anything getting in my way.
    • Prepare romantic breakfasts for my fiancée, at least once in a while 😉
    • De-stress my entire life by having a few things “under my belt” when work starts already
    • Take a big leap forward in my Chinese studies

    And most important of all, I would be able to…

    • Set the direction of my own life, instead of being just lead down the road life takes me.

    And before I tell you if all this really happened, let’s dig into that questions a little bit more.

    The Question Explained

    I have discovered that this question I mentioned above can actually be part of a bigger pattern. You see, there are four alternatives to this question:

    • What would happen if you did?
    • What would happen if you didn’t?
    • What wouldn’t happen if you did?
    • What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t?

    I like to imagine these questions laid out like four quadrants in a matrix. Usually, we are all stuck in the quadrant “What would happen if you didn’t?”—focusing on the problem at hand.

    What all the other three questions help us to do is to move ourselves away from there and into the other quadrants. You might be able to find that these new quadrants lead to new perspectives and new insights.

    Isn’t that powerful?

    I mean, if you can think of a problem or troublesome situation you have in your life, then you will be able to come out much stronger on the other side after running it through these questions. You can, can you not?

    I have at least realized that by asking myself open and strong questions I can open up my life to more and more possibilities. Asking the questions is just the beginning, but often times getting momentum is the biggest challenge we face.

    So I urge everyone to ask yourself this question as soon as you find yourself stuck. It helped me in one situation and continues to expand my view of the world every day.

    So Does It Really Work?

    It’s not a magic question. But for the purpose of giving me new alternatives of how to live my life, it sure worked well. You see, those things I mentioned before that would happen if I did, that was just the top of the ice berg.

    In fact, I wrote down three full pages, hand written, about how my life could change. And that has been my main source of motivation ever since.

    I can understand if you feel that becoming an early riser is not a really serious life change and that I didn’t have a really tough problem to begin with. If that’s the case, then I encourage you to use this question on ever bigger problems.

    Use it to make real life changes.

    At least I put my life before work nowadays and I feel that I achieve something for me, every single day. That was what the question helped me to do.

    I am now an early riser, speak pretty darn well Chinese, have set up several websites, and am able to take those morning runs almost every day.

    You see, this question literally changed my life.

  • We Live Unbound: An Inspiring Video About What’s Possible

    We Live Unbound: An Inspiring Video About What’s Possible

    So much is possible, if we’re willing to believe it.

    That doesn’t mean we have no limitations beyond the ones we set in our mind; simply believing that something is possible doesn’t guarantee it will happen. But it does create the possibility that it could.

    That’s what makes us feel alive: taking bold action toward possibility, knowing that the goal isn’t to control what will happen tomorrow. It’s to create a sense of freedom as we choose what will happen today.

    Are you living unbound?

  • 10 Ways to Be the Person You Wanted to Be as a Kid

    10 Ways to Be the Person You Wanted to Be as a Kid

    Lori Swinging

    “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” ~Angela Schwindt

    When you’re young, anything seems possible. Whether you want to become a school teacher, a ballerina, or an astronaut, it all feels within your reach.

    And you so easily get excited by it.

    You can visualize in vivid detail what it would be like to hold your roses at curtain call, or how proud you’ll feel when you save the day—as a fireman, a soldier, or maybe even a superhero. You pretend your way through different roles and stay open to different ideas of who you are.

    You might know what you like and don’t, and you probably aren’t afraid to vocalize it, but you haven’t yet learned how to get stuck in your ways. You’re too curious for that. That would be boring.

    Though you knew back then that sticks and stones might break your bones but names could never hurt you, you did get hurt sometimes. You cried when a bully teased you, or you couldn’t get something you wanted.

    But the next day you were back swinging and giving underdogs at the playground, smiling and dreaming new dreams again.

    Then life happened. Maybe time and experience taught you to worry, fear, and limit yourself, and you slowly became a person younger you wouldn’t want to play with. You started playing by rules that no one even gave you. You stopped imagining possibilities and believing that you could meet them.

    And worst of all, you started thinking that it’s something the world did to you—not something you choose, moment to moment. (more…)

  • You’ll Always Have This Day, No Matter Where It Leads

    You’ll Always Have This Day, No Matter Where It Leads

    Walking

    “If you surrender completely to the moment as they pass, you live more richly those moments.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

    Last week on Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend Ehren and I had a meeting we’d both spent months working toward.

    After writing and rewriting a romantic comedy screenplay for over a year, and consulting with a screenwriter friend to improve it, we’d finally secured a meeting with an agent—her agent. At one of the largest agencies in Hollywood. Presumably to represent us.

    We couldn’t have been more thrilled to know our project might have a real future, and the timing of it, on Valentine’s Day, seemed serendipitous and made it even more exciting.

    The opportunity felt even more gratifying because we’d both been in need of some good news since Ehren’s brother’s sudden passing in December.

    We’d just moved out of our Los Angeles apartment with plans to spend time with his parents in the Bay Area and work on various creative projects together. Yet there were, mere days after our move, heading back to the home we’d just left.

    Though we’d lived in LA for over two years, the city looked different through the lens of magnified possibility.

    We spent the whole drive discussing our next screenplay and planning what we’d say in the meeting. I spent each moment of silence fantasizing about casting, filming, and premieres—a whole new life on the other side of this day.

    We ate at a classic Hollywood deli and ran into one of my favorite comedic actresses. One day we’d write a role for her, I thought.

    We then walked around the neighborhood for a good thirty minutes before arriving early but not too early for what seemed like the most important meeting of our creative partnership.

    I jittered and rambled while sitting in the waiting room. I wanted to be sure that when we walked in, I said enough but not too much, and generally put my best foot forward for the best possible outcome.

    So much had led to this one moment, and I felt that our whole future was wrapped up in it. (more…)

  • Stop Waiting to Live: Scare Yourself Alive

    Stop Waiting to Live: Scare Yourself Alive

    “It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    Whenever I’m tempted to play it safe with my life, whenever I start talking myself out of the risks I really want to take, I think about something my friend Jesse said years ago, when we were on a work-sponsored retreat.

    After a day of travel, activities, and settling in, we were left with a free evening. As the darkness deepened, a group of us stood together, discussing our options. What would we do on our first night in the woods?

    There was a pause. And then, with a look of inspired wildness, Jesse said, “Let’s go for a walk and scare ourselves alive.”

    And so we walked out the doors and into the night. We carried flashlights, but we didn’t turn them on; the moonlight gave us just enough light to see by. We walked down a hill and into a valley, weaving through the trees and underbrush.

    Except for the leaves crackling underfoot and the owls crying in the distance, the night was silent. The walk was just daring enough to feel dangerous, just safe enough to feel like the right risk. (more…)

  • Finding Joy in the Ruins of a Crushed Dream

    Finding Joy in the Ruins of a Crushed Dream

    “Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

    Five months ago, my partner Mike and I were offered jobs as English teachers in a school in China. Excitedly, we moved everything we owned into storage, organized our passports and visas, said farewell to our loved ones, and left our home in Melbourne within a month, not to be home again for a year.

    We had just started to settle in to our new home in Daqing, in the Heilongjiang province of northern China, when the unthinkable happened: I got fired.

    I still don’t know exactly how it happened, but the principal had hired both of us to replace only one teacher. When he realized his mistake, he decided to just fire me. No explanation, no apology for inviting me to pack up my whole life and move to the other side of the world and then firing me after a month—not even the decency to pay me for the work I did.

    Nothing.

    To make matters worse, they withheld our passports after they’d been processed so that we couldn’t leave the city. We had to get the police involved in order to get them back.

    This was a very confusing time for us. We didn’t know whether to stay in China for the rest of our year or just go home. But Mike still had a job with the school, and I knew that I would be giving up if we went home after only one month, so we decided stay. (more…)

  • The Halfhearted Yes: Why We Don’t Say No and How to Start

    The Halfhearted Yes: Why We Don’t Say No and How to Start

    I'm Free

    “A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.”  ~Gandhi

    I was having dinner with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago when I asked her about a group she was considering joining. I wanted to know how it was going and what she decided.

    “You know,” she said, “I realized after the first group that I’m not that passionate about it. So, I’m not going to do it. I’d rather make my time available for something that matters more to me.”

    Aside from this being a healthy choice, it was also a very conscious and deliberate choice. She chose in the direction of her passion.

    How many of us take what is handed to us, follow what is put in front of us, or say yes to things that don’t really align with who we are or what we want in our lives?

    I’m a huge fan of the word yes. (more…)

  • Embarrass Yourself

    Embarrass Yourself

    Dancing

    “To get something you never had, you  have to do something you never did.” ~Unknown

    You’d like to start presenting to clients, but you’re afraid of looking like a deer in the headlights if they ask questions you can’t answer. So you keep thinking about it, waiting for a time when you feel more prepared. More ready. More in control.

    You’ve considered telling your friends you want to publish your novel, but you can’t stand them knowing you failed if things don’t pan out. So you keep it inside, protecting your ego but reinforcing to yourself that you likely can’t do it.

    You’ve decided you don’t want that job you dreamed of as a kid, but the thought of everyone thinking you gave up makes you queasy. So you keep chasing a rainbow that no longer excites you—half in it, half curious what else is out there, but wholly sure you’ll look better if you stay the course.

    The potential for embarrassment motivates people to do and avoid all kinds of things against their better judgment. Statistics show more people fear public speaking than death—meaning they’d rather be hit by a bus than potentially look foolish in front of a crowd.

    Research also indicates a majority of the people who get divorced had a strong feeling before getting married it wasn’t a good idea but honored their promise to avoid embarrassment. (more…)

  • 7 Creative Ways to Turn Everyday Situations into Opportunities

    7 Creative Ways to Turn Everyday Situations into Opportunities

    Open Door

    “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle

    The people who are the most successful in life are the ones who create their own opportunities. Since I’m a work-from-home freelance writer who prefers beadworking to networking, I have to be ultra creative.

    I’ve identified seven simple ways to find opportunities in everyday situations. Here’s what I got:

    1. Wear your resume while running errands.

    Last year I read an article about a woman named Kelly Kinney who printed her resume on a T-shirt. What a brilliant idea! I always notice words on shirts; I’ve even been known to ask strangers to hold still so I can get a better look (far less awkward when the wearer is a man).

    You can order a similar one at ResumeShirts.com for under $20–well worth the investment if it lands you the job of your dreams! (more…)

  • 7 Key Steps to Living a Beautiful Life

    7 Key Steps to Living a Beautiful Life

    Happy

    “Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare

    I admit, I have a beautiful life. I don’t mean to brag, but I love the life I have and there is no other life I’d rather live. This wasn’t always my truth.

    Many years ago, I didn’t think I would one day have a beautiful life. I had a terrible attitude, a soul-sucking job that I occasionally enjoyed, superficially at best, and I pursued things that would always leave me feeling empty.  It took me a long time and a lot of work to get to where I am.

    Today, like everyone, I have my own struggles.

    I have personal deficits that I’m aware need fine-tuning (or major overhaul). I’m susceptible to sadness, negative energy from others, and occasional feelings of helplessness about the troubles of the world. But I focus more on laughter, celebration, and the depths of life. Overall, life is beautiful.

    I’m not talking about aesthetic beauty, although a beautiful environment can contribute to a beautiful life.

    I’m talking about a deeper kind of beauty. One that you can’t buy from a store. One that makes you feel excited about being alive, that allows you to be inspired and be an inspiration, that shows your connectedness to other human beings.

    I would imagine that many of you who are already living a beautiful life have your own formula for getting there.  But for those who are curious, here are my seven key steps:

    1. Know thyself.

    It sounds simple. In reality, it’s challenging to do. It requires focused introspection, which can be difficult, as most of us have built layers of denial about ourselves. I suggest having a really honest assessment of yourself.

    Explore all areas: your passions; your deepest desires and fears; what makes you proud, insecure, and ashamed; what work you’d love to do even without getting paid.

    Learning about yourself can be a hugely emotional process, but if you approach it with honesty, you will find it cleansing and therapeutic. A good place to start is the Myers-Briggs test.

    I would also suggest engaging someone you trust to help with this process. This person needs to be someone who knows you well, who understands your strengths and weaknesses and whose opinion you respect.

    This person can help you determine whether what you believe to be true about yourself comes through to the outside world.

    Maybe you love connecting with others, but others find you aloof. This exercise will help point to truths about yourself that aren’t readily visible to the outside world as well as universal truths you may not be ready to accept.

    2. Define what “beautiful life” means to you.

    Let’s assume we all know it’s not material things that will lead us to a beautiful life. This is the part where you ask yourself what’s missing in your life. Is it love? Is it happiness? Is it inspiration?

    Here are some other suggested questions:

    What am I filling my life with that I’d rather replace with other things? What is preventing me from taking action? Is it fear? Do I think I don’t deserve it? Are these reasons good enough to get in the way of building a beautiful life? If you’re being honest with yourself, your answer will be a resounding “no.”

    3. Start working toward living a beautiful life.

    Think about ways to attain what’s missing or eliminate what’s unnecessary. This is where all the adventures take place.

    It will take some work as you step out of your comfort zone, but it can be a lot more fun than you ever imagined.  Adventures are exhilarating. If you commit to this step, you will no doubt feel how exciting life can be.

    For example, if you’re looking for love, perhaps you’ll let a trusted friend know that you would love to meet someone incredible. Maybe you’ll consider online dating. Maybe you’ll go out on blind dates or try speed-dating.  It can be scary at first but most likely it will get easier with practice.

    Another example, say, your life is filled with way too much activity. You’d like to scale back and have some breathing room.  Start by saying “no” a little bit at a time. If you’d rather go to a yoga class, you should do so instead of going out for drinks with co-workers.

    4. Appreciate where you are in this process.

    Building a beautiful life can be a tough process at first. There will be starts, stops, and lots of tension along the way. But, as with anything, beginning is half the battle. If you’ve gone this far, you have made progress.

    Go ahead and allow yourself to feel good about being at the halfway point to living a beautiful life!

    5. Adjust your expectations.

    The funny thing about being an active participant in building your beautiful life is that it’s full of surprises. You may find that things you’ve determined to be true about steps one, two, three, and four have changed. By this time, you’ve likely gotten a taste of how beautiful life can be through adventures and new experiences.

    If you find that this process is leading you somewhere different from what you envisioned, ask yourself if you want to refocus or continue down this path. Whatever you decide to do at this point, it’s likely that you have learned a lot about what living a beautiful life means to you.

    6. Count your blessings and be thankful for what you have.

    This is a step that can be inserted at any part in this process. Chances are, if you remember to count your blessings, you’re already living a beautiful life. What’s also true is that once you count your blessings, you’ll realize that life is, indeed, beautiful.

    7. Live your beautiful life.

    Go ahead. You deserve it.

    *Disclaimer: There are countless people who lack basic material needs such as food, shelter, and clothing, and I believe that every human being should have their basics met before they can seize their chance to live a beautiful life. I also believe that helping them is an integral part of living a beautiful life.

    Photo here

  • Take a Small Step

    Take a Small Step

    Flying High

    “I could never make a living while traveling the world; it’s just not realistic.”

    “My guitar won’t pay the bills. People think I’m crazy for trying.”

    “I don’t have the money to go back to school. I’m stuck in this dead-end temp job.”

    Most people dream of doing something that gives them a sense of excitement and purpose. Only some people believe in the possibility of that meaningful, exciting reality. Even fewer people pursue those goals in the face of adversity and discouragement.

    Belief in possibility and the willingness to try can mean the difference between feeling alive and feeling stuck. Even if you don’t get where you’re headed, believing you can and working toward your dream is more powerful than you realize.

    The woman who spends her days going to auditions—she may not be a famous actress, but she’s an actress who could find work, work that may lead to opportunities she can’t even imagine.

    The man who wants to bike across the US someday—every hour he devotes to training increases his chances of achieving his goal. Every time he dots an i on his dream-to-do list, he’s one step closer to actually doing what some people say he can’t.

    There will always be people who doubt you, people who think you should do what’s easy, customary, and reasonable. Sometimes you may even be one of those people. Don’t think about them today. Instead, think about one simple step. (more…)