Tiny Buddha

Tag: positive thinking

  • Why Positive Thinking Didn’t Work for Me

    Why Positive Thinking Didn’t Work for Me

    Yoga

    “See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

    I was a perfectionist growing up, always trying to bang my flawed round-shaped self into a perfect square hole that couldn’t possibly contain me.

    In my early twenties, I decided to focus on personal development—a positive thing, I assumed.

    I figured if I worked on improving a little every day and nurturing a positive mindset, I’d feel a lot better about myself than I did when I got down on myself for my flaws. 

    I didn’t take into consideration that I might become a perfectionist about positivity.

    That I might catch negative thinking and feel guilty about it instead of letting it go and moving into a more positive space.

    That I might muster every piece of my will to avoid negative feelings and end up over-thinking them instead of simply feeling them and letting them pass.

    For most of my life, I’ve fought reality. I didn’t like the way people responded to me, so I tried to manipulate their perception. I didn’t like the world around me, so I tried to control it. I didn’t like the world within me, so I tried to escape it. (more…)

  • Does Life Just Happen to You?

    Does Life Just Happen to You?

    “The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti

    Does life just happen to you?

    Would it be safe to suggest that a lot of people wake up each morning, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and repeat the same course of events Monday through Friday, without ever being fully conscious of what they’re doing?

    The events listed above may differ for some people, but the point is still the same. Does life just happen to you, or do you consciously plan your days ahead?

    Do you live your life on automatic pilot for the most part?

    Take an inventory of your daily routines and ask yourself if you are in the same situation emotionally and physically as you were last month, year, or even decade.

    It’s very easy to dismiss the notion of being on autopilot for a large portion of your life. But if you don’t consciously create your desired outcome for a prosperous, successful, and happy life, then you are not living up to your true potential.

    I know we all have certain responsibilities we must attend to on a daily basis, and I am certainly not suggesting we ignore these and go chasing our dreams without attending to them first. What I am saying, though, is that you also have a responsibility to yourself.

    The question you need to ask is whether or not you’ll respect the decisions you have made in life if nothing has changed when you look back ten, twenty, or thirty years from now. No doubt, your life will be different in thirty years; but will it be from you taking control, or because life just changed (as it does) and you coasted along with it?

    I have met many people who are not even close to living up what they are capable of. The worst thing is that they don’t make any effort whatsoever to change their circumstances. They obviously want to have a better life, but it’s as if they’re hoping things will magically get better for them further down the line.

    There are also a lot of people who convince themselves that life is too hard, and that good things only happen to a select group of people, or that some people are just lucky, and life favors some and not others. Fortunately, this is not the case at all.

    We are all the masters of our own destiny, and if you put the work in you will undoubtedly see positive results. (more…)

  • 10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

    10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

    “See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

    Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

    Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

    That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

    I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

    I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously, during this time I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

    My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

    Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

    He came for a surprise visit this past weekend, and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

    I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend. (more…)

  • 4 Self-Defeating Attitudes That Stand in the Way of Happiness

    4 Self-Defeating Attitudes That Stand in the Way of Happiness

    Happy

    “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

    I grew up believing that nothing I did was ever good enough, and this is something that I still carry with me.

    It affects every aspect of my life: my hobbies, skills, my relationships, and even the understanding I have of my body, physical appearance, and my mental health. I often think that I must have done something quite terrible in a past life to go through any of this, to not be good enough.

    As certain as I’ve been of this, I’ve been sure I wasn’t responsible for these attitudes and beliefs. That other people did this to me, so I literally can’t let go of the pain they caused. They hurt me too much, did too much damage for me to confront them, stand up to them, and forgive them.

    But blaming others hasn’t helped me move on and become the person I want to be.

    It’s helped me stay a victim, sure—got me some sympathetic ears along the way—but it hasn’t helped me get out of bed with a smile every morning for the past twenty-odd years. It’s made me feel sluggish and sick to my stomach whenever the thoughts and memories worked their way into my consciousness.

    There’s no mystery to the way I think. Negative thinking is exactly that: negative. However, understanding negative thoughts is paramount to overcoming them. (more…)