Tag: obstacle

  • How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles

    How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles

    “I really want to, but I can’t because [add semi-valid reason here].”

    That’s a template sentence to let yourself off the hook.

    It’s not copyrighted, so feel free to use it any time you want to let go of your dreams and not feel bad about it.

    Honestly, it hurts me every time I hear someone say it. I see it for what it is—an excuse.

    Every single one of us has ambitions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We fantasize about them on our commutes to work and before we sleep. We talk about how we will one day achieve them, but when it comes time to put them to action, we use that template sentence.

    I had every reason to use the template sentence. I live in a third-world country in the Middle East. We suffer from a lack of water, electricity, security, and opportunities—especially for girls.

    In the Western world, if you want to learn a new skill, you sign up for a training course, get a book, find articles online, or join a club. It’s different here. Here, we don’t have training courses, libraries, or clubs, and the internet is slower than a snail crawling through peanut butter.

    During my teen years, I felt stuck in my life. I wanted to learn so many things and achieve my wildest dreams, yet I couldn’t. How was I supposed to impact people when I would only leave the house to go to school on the weekdays and grocery shopping on the weekends?

    I read stories of kids my age winning science fairs and inventing devices to solve the world’s leading issues. Yet, there I was, wasting my time at home, waiting five minutes for a single webpage to load.

    I had always imagined what my life would be like, and this is not what I had pictured. Time was passing me by, and my talents and ambitions were going to waste.

    I wanted to have an impact, but I couldn’t because I didn’t have the opportunities to learn and gain experience and feedback. (Notice the template sentence.)

    This way of thinking was eating away at my soul. Day after day, I found myself sinking into a pit of misery. I would spend my days lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. There was nothing I could do to change my life, so why try?

    One day, I had had enough. I had been lying in bed for days. It had been years since anything amazing had happened to me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t accept the fact that this would be my life. There was an itch under my skin to make my life worth living.

    “Life is too short to waste it moping about the hand of cards life had served me,” I thought. I didn’t care what it would take. I would do whatever I could to get myself out of the hole I was in.

    I decided to use the resources I had to create the future I dreamed. “Bloom where you are planted” became my life motto. What I had access to at the time was the internet.

    In order to get out of the country I was in, I concluded that I’d need a scholarship. I set my mind on getting the Japanese Monbusho Scholarship. I found blogs, articles, and books online to become fluent in Japanese. I practiced day in and day out. I tried a plethora of different methods to learn new words and perfect my grammar. In a few months, I was able to hold a simple conversation in Japanese.

    I also realized that I would need money. I wasn’t allowed to go out and get a job. This was an obstacle I had trouble accepting. I tried to convince my parents to let me work, but they refused for my safety. My mother introduced me to the concept of passive income and showed me blogs that were making six figures every month!

    I set out to build a hedgehog care website. Every day, after school, I would research hedgehogs and write detailed articles about how to feed them, groom them, play with them, and anything else one would need to know. I went on like this for 3 years, studying Japanese and writing about hedgehogs.

    I’m sure you’re expecting a spirit-lifting ending where I travel to Japan and live off my flourishing website. That’s not how this story ends.

    I didn’t get the scholarship. The fact is, I didn’t even get the chance to apply. I ended up studying in my third-world country. I was crushed. I didn’t want to, but it was either study here or not study at all. Unwilling to accept the facts, I started an online university the next year. I now study at two universities simultaneously.

    As for the hedgehog website, it made me a total of $60 for the three years of work I put into it.

    I can stand here and tell you that I tried, but it didn’t work out. That’d be a lie. It did work out—just not the way I expected.

    I’m not in Japan, but I know how to speak Japanese and have met many interesting people along the way. I learned from them and gained experience just as I hoped I one day would. And instead of one major, I now have two, both of which I enjoy learning about.

    My hedgehog website didn’t succeed, but I created a new one that’s even better with the expertise I gained. I interact with my readers often, helping them find ways they can live their dreams. I love hearing their stories and learning how I helped them build better habits or make their goals a reality.

    I still live in the same country I did before. I still have to wait five minutes for a webpage to load. However, I know that even though the obstacles are always there—and always will be—they have nothing to do with happiness, fulfillment, success, peace, and satisfaction. Some people have it better than others, and some have it worse, but every single person, regardless of circumstance, can control their mindset.

    I didn’t let my obstacles stand in my way, and I created my own opportunities when I found none. In an instant, anyone can decide to embrace the cards they’ve been dealt and create their own unique way to shuffle, redistribute, alter, or mold them into a winning hand.

  • 6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times

    6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times

    “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~Christopher Reeve

    It all happened so suddenly that it felt just like a flash flood. One minute the road was clear and drivable, and the next it was a raging river. Before I knew what happened, my life went from being only slightly a mess to being a complete mess, my car teetering on the edge of the water, ready to go for a swim at any minute.

    I had left a job I liked and found a job I thought I would love, but didn’t end up loving at all.

    I had hurt a good friend who was extremely important to me, and is now out of my life for the most part.

    I felt like a financial mess from constantly playing catch up and living paycheck to paycheck, and I was going to have to move out of an apartment and town I really loved.

    It’s funny how when even just one thing is going great, all the other things that aren’t going so hot are manageable. But if nothing is okay, then everything seems insurmountable and completely overwhelming.

    Faced with more doom and gloom than I could stand, I wanted to melt into my bed and never get back up. And honestly, for a few days I did.

    I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what was going on. I didn’t want to admit defeat or ask for help. Even my very best friends only knew bits and pieces of what was going on inside my head. And honestly, the one person I would have bared my soul to, the person who I always ran to with stuff like this, was no longer speaking to me.

    So now what? I realized that if I didn’t want to talk to the people who inspired me most, I could still apply what I had learned from them. They had taught me so much over the years through their advice, and their example, that through them, I found my way.

    1. You can cry for five minutes and then you have to put your big girl pants on and deal with it.

    One of my best friends, and someone whose strength I really admire, taught me that life isn’t going to wait for you to have a pity party; it’s going to go on without you.

    She always says to her kids and friends, “Where does crying get you? Nowhere.” So, while it’s okay to cry a little and allow yourself some much-needed time to wallow, eventually that has to end.

    Spend a weekend in bed with some feel-good movies and junk food, journal your feelings, take a long hot bath, cry and scream into your pillow, and indulge in some self-care and pampering. But don’t get stuck there. It is so easy to get stuck there.

    Give yourself a cut off time to pull it together and start to figure out how you are going to get through this bump in the road. Becoming a blubbering mess isn’t an option, as tempting as it is.

    2. Laughter is the best medicine.

    You have to have a sense of humor about your situation. Laughter can bring down blood pressure and relieve stress. You’d be doing yourself and your health a favor to find some humor each day in the ridiculousness that you are going through. There’s even something called laughter yoga, which in and of itself is funny, but honestly, they are on to something. Have you ever felt bad after a good laugh?

    If you’re so miserable you can’t think of anything funny, don’t go it alone. Hang out with a friend who can usually make you laugh, or call someone who does the same. I usually call my mom because she inspired this advice, and every time we talk about the crazy stuff going on in our lives, we always end up laughing about it.

    3. What you did before won’t work now if you want a different outcome.

    These next three pearls of wisdom, about taking action and setting goals, come from a mentor and dear friend who’s advised me over the years.

    You have cried, you have laughed, and now it’s time to think about how you got here.

    True, some situations are completely unavoidable, and life can deal us some horrible blows we could not have anticipated. However, if you contributed to your current situation, even in the smallest way, you have to reflect on what got you there.

    That shouldn’t take long—it should be glaringly obvious where you went wrong—but the key here is to actually change that behavior. That’s the hard part, and honestly, something that has to be continuously worked on.

    I eventually realized that I needed to change my impulsive decision making after it caused me to lose a relationship that was very dear to me, among other things. Consciously making the decision to work on it daily, and seeing the change that choice has made in my life gave me back a sense of pride, and makes the sting of that mistake more bearable.

    However, it’s easy to do this while in the midst of dealing with the fallout of a miscalculation or mistake. You think, man I’ll never do that again, what was I thinking? I’m going to change! But then when all is right with the world and these troubles are a distant memory, you can slip back into old habits.

    Unless you make a commitment to stay aware and work daily to change, and stay changed for the better, you will find yourself back here again, and again, and again.

    4. A plan is only good if it is actionable, and you take action.

    As you start to feel better, you will want to come up with a plan. It’s amazing how empowering it is to tackle the problem head on and figure out what outcome you want and what you need to do to get there. But is it realistic? Is it something that will make your current situation and your future better?

    Here’s a tip: It shouldn’t be the first plan you think of. Usually that one is the easiest, “the quick solve,” and it won’t get you where you want to be in the long run. You have to think long and hard about what you really want, how you feasibly can get there, and if it is doable at this time with the resources you have.

    Make sure your working toward what you want every day, and tweaking as you go if it starts to look like you aren’t making any headway. Checking in with yourself and staying grounded will help you stick to the plan and see success.

    Usually when I make a plan I think a lot about what I want, not necessarily what I need. I decided to keep my head out of the clouds this time, and made a more realistic plan then I usually would have.

    I had to accept some unwelcome changes (moving, new financial situation, loss), but knew those things were necessary to be successful this time around. In the process I found a new career I love, and am on my way to overcoming months of remorse over past situations.

    5. Suck it up and do what you have to do to get where you want to be.

    A few years ago, the good friend and mentor I mentioned earlier suggested that, to catch up on bills and get out from behind my current financial situation, I should give up my car. That way I would save money by not having a monthly car or insurance payment. After a few months of saving and catching up I could buy a used car outright. She suggested taking the bus and getting rides from friends when needed in the meantime.

    Aghast, I told her there was no way I could do that.

    “Why not? Because it would be too hard?” she had pointedly asked.

    I just told her I wasn’t willing to give up my car, and instead, decided on a quick solve that fixed the problem for the moment, but not in the long run. I never got to exactly where I wanted to be financially.

    Now looking back, I see the wisdom in what she was suggesting. Sometimes we need to make a sacrifice and do something unpleasant to get to a better future.

    Nothing worthwhile comes by walking an easy, breezy path, and it shouldn’t. I thought about this a lot when recently deciding to move somewhere much cheaper so I could save money and catch up. Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but it was necessary to get on the right track.

    It can be really hard to decide to bite the bullet and do something difficult that you really don’t want to do, but once you’re through it on the other side you will be glad, and proud, that you did.

    6. Keep believing that the best is yet to come.

    It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how wrong things have gone, there’s always potential for a better tomorrow. It’s not going to stay this way forever; it can’t. Don’t get so bogged down in the misery of today that you forget to get excited for the future, and what you’re doing to make it a good one.

    A close friend and soul sister of mine had a bumper sticker that read: Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. She helps remind me that you have to keep the hope inside you alive, because nothing is so far gone that it cant be fixed, or grow into something new and better. In the meantime, life is passing you by.

    Find some good in your day and appreciate it in between all the wallowing, planning, and doing. You don’t want to miss out on months of your life because something bad happened and now that has become your entire focus.

    It could even be something as small as a walk with your dog, or the smell of fresh air blowing in through your window. Every day has something to enjoy, even for a moment, before we get back to going hard after our goals.

  • 5 Tips to Overcome a Major Setback

    5 Tips to Overcome a Major Setback

    “Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown.

    Just when I thought I was ready to get some of my ideas into motion and action, I have a setback.

    Previously setbacks involved finances (unexpected bills, for example), time delays, and an unresponsive partner or friend when I wanted to make changes.

    My current setback came in the form of a massive health scare.

    When I’ve gotten over some fear and self-sabotage, and I feel like I’m finally ready to take action, it always brings up things for me…

    At that moment of action, when all my hard work starts to pay off, my little voice creeps in to stop me from moving forward. It creates doubt and makes me question my decisions.

    It feels like I’m going to fall—or rather jump—off a cliff. But I know I need to get out of my comfort zone and take that leap. I also know, on some level, that these setbacks show me how close I am to achieving my dreams, if only I can find the faith to push through them.

    Still, this setback is extreme, even for me!

    I am writing this from a hospital. After I wrote my goals for the next six months, and got ready for an action-packed week ahead, I had an “attack” and was immediately rushed to hospital via ambulance.

    Long story short, they found I have a pancreas and liver disease and I needed urgent life-saving surgery. I am now needing to heal from this and will probably need more surgery in six weeks time (although I am researching other natural alternatives too).

    I’m a girl who drinks green smoothies every day, I don’t eat red meat or drink alcohol, and I’m certainly not overweight or unhealthy, yet I am in this health challenge.

    As I write this with tears, I realize that facing and dealing with setbacks is a part of life for all of us. And sometimes when we think we’re ready to unleash on the world, the universe has other plans! (more…)

  • 7 Ways to Benefit from Not Getting What You Want

    7 Ways to Benefit from Not Getting What You Want

    “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

    A year ago, I hit rock bottom. Until that point, I had put all my energy into my dream of becoming a physician. Last year my life slammed into a brick wall, and my plans seemed to be torn into pieces.

    After high school, I took every opportunity to immerse myself in the medical profession while maintaining my grades in college.

    During the summer of my freshman year, I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician and practiced being a first responder during medical emergencies. Over the next three years, I woke up at 6:00 AM on the weekends and drove an hour to work as a Patient Care Assistant on the Trauma floor at Parkland Hospital.

    However, none of my hard work, experiences, or ambitions seemed significant last year when I didn’t gain acceptance to medical school.

    All the work I had put into achieving my dream meant nothing. The energy that I had expelled to become a physician felt meaningless. I was a senior graduating from college, but I no longer had a life plan.

    After a challenging year, I finally let go—and then I got into medical school. (more…)