Tiny Buddha

Tag: meaningful

  • It Is Much

    It Is Much

  • How to Have a Meaningful Holiday Season on Your Own Terms

    How to Have a Meaningful Holiday Season on Your Own Terms

    “Take a little time to be amazed by something you won’t enjoy unless you consciously choose to focus on it. See the things you can’t see when you’re rushing. Hear the things you can’t hear when you’re stressing.  Get so caught up in your senses that everything else seems to stop for a moment—because things don’t actually stop. So we have to be the ones who do it.” ~Lori Deschene

    As December unfolds, I’ve made a conscious choice that feels both liberating and true to myself: I’m celebrating a quiet Christmas at home with just my best friend.

    While my family lives far away, and tradition might dictate buying plane tickets and planning an elaborate holiday visit, I’m listening to a deeper wisdom this year—one that honors my personal growth, sense of balance, and need for peaceful reflection as we approach 2025.

    This decision wasn’t made lightly, but it feels right. Instead of navigating crowded airports, juggling the stress of travel logistics, and potentially diluting my focus on what truly matters to me, I’m creating space for an intentional end to 2024. It’s not about loving my family any less—it’s about loving myself enough to recognize what I truly need right now.

    Examining What Matters

    The path to this decision became clear when I started examining what truly matters to me right now.  While my family gatherings are always wonderful, they also come with different expectations and dynamics—competing priorities and well-meaning but sometimes overwhelming input about each other’s life choices.

    By staying home, I’m creating a sanctuary where I can remain deeply connected to my own inner compass as I prepare for the year ahead.

    My best friend shares this vision of a peaceful holiday. Like me, his family also lives far away, so we’ve embraced the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company this holiday season, celebrating our friendship and shared values. Together, we’re planning simple but meaningful celebrations that focus on joy, rest, and genuine connection.

    Our plans include a holiday movie marathon at home, filled with plenty of festive classics and rom-coms.  We’re also trying out new recipes and baking to our hearts’ content, transforming the kitchen into a festive hub of delicious treats. There’s something powerful about choosing to celebrate differently—about saying yes to what feels authentic rather than what’s expected.

    I’m fortunate that my family demonstrates a beautiful kind of understanding, though it didn’t come without a touch of disappointment at first. When I shared my holiday plans, I could sense their initial sadness at us not being together. But that feeling quickly morphed into compassion and love as they recognized how important this choice was for me.

    Their response reflected the very love and support that make our relationship special. They get it—they understand that sometimes taking care of yourself means making choices that look different from the traditional script.

    This conversation helped me embrace my decision even more deeply. It reminded me that love and connection don’t depend on proximity or performance but thrive when we trust each other to honor what we need. 

    New Possibilities and Intentional Celebration

    This simplified holiday season is already opening up new possibilities. Without the usual rush of travel preparations and extensive gift shopping, I’m finding time to reflect deeply on my goals and aspirations.

    My best friend and I are looking forward to savoring time together. What feels especially refreshing is the quiet spaciousness of this season. It’s not just about what we’re doing—it’s about what we’re not doing. There’s no rushing, no overextending, and no pressure to meet anyone’s expectations but our own.

    What makes this setup truly special is how we’re blending celebration with intention. From Christmas through New Year’s Day, we’re creating a space for reflection and renewal. This isn’t just about savoring the holidays; it’s about entering the new year with a clearer sense of what matters most.

    Whether we’re brainstorming dreams for the future or simply enjoying the aroma of freshly baked cookies, this intentionality feels like the perfect way to honor the spirit of the season. It’s a reminder that peace and joy aren’t things we find—they’re things we create.

    Choosing to forgo the usual holiday hustle has also given me an unexpected gift: the freedom to focus on what truly fills me up. Instead of stretching myself thin trying to do it all, I’m finding joy in the simple pleasures—a heartfelt conversation, a home-cooked meal, and the sense of ease that comes with slowing down.

    It’s remarkable how small shifts can create waves of change in so many areas of life. This choice has reminded me that less truly can be more.

    Creating Your Own Meaningful Holiday

    For anyone considering a similar choice, here’s what I’ve learned about creating a meaningful holiday season on your own terms.

    1. Trust your instincts about what you need.

    Sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is permission to break from tradition when it serves your well-being.

    2. Simplify your celebrations.

    A meaningful holiday doesn’t require elaborate plans or expensive gatherings. Often, it’s the quieter moments that bring the most joy.

    3. Set loving boundaries.

    If family members express hurt or disappointment through guilt trips or emotional pressure, remember that their reaction often comes from a place of love. You can validate their feelings while still honoring your decision, using phrases like “I know this is different from our usual tradition, and I understand why that’s hard,” followed by a clear, kind explanation of your choice.

    Consider suggesting specific ways to make the holiday special despite the distance, perhaps by having a virtual gift-opening session or planning a dedicated family celebration for another time. This shows your family that you’re still committed to maintaining meaningful connections with them.

    4. Embrace creativity.

    Whether it’s trying out a new tradition, experimenting with a recipe, or simply finding new ways to connect, creativity can infuse the holidays with fresh meaning.

    5. Prioritize rest and reflection.

    The holidays can be an emotionally charged time, so give yourself space to recharge. Whether it’s taking a long walk, journaling, or meditating, moments of stillness can bring clarity and peace.

    6. Create your own traditions.

    A personal ritual, like lighting candles, writing a gratitude list, or hosting a movie night, can be a comforting and grounding way to honor the season. Or create something completely unique that reflects what matters most to you. The point is that you get to choose.

    7. Focus on experiences over material things.

    Instead of stressing over gifts, embrace the simple joys of the season; for example, savoring a favorite holiday meal, watching movies that bring you comfort, or taking a mindful moment to appreciate the little things around you.

    8. Stay flexible.

    Life rarely goes according to plan, and that’s okay. By letting go of rigid expectations, you leave room for unexpected moments of joy and connection.

    Grateful for Change

    As 2024 draws to a close, I’m grateful for this choice to celebrate differently. This low-key Christmas isn’t about what I’m giving up. It’s all about what I’m gaining: clarity, peace, and the joy of honoring my own path.

    In choosing this simpler celebration, I’m not just preparing for a better start to 2025; I’m practicing the art of living authentically right now. And that, to me, feels like the greatest gift of all.

  • 7 Self-Reflection Questions to Create Your Own Happiness This Year

    7 Self-Reflection Questions to Create Your Own Happiness This Year

    “Self-reflection is necessary to dig beneath our own layers and visit the inner crevices of our heart and mind to develop an understanding of life.” ~Unknown

    This year, I’ve not set New Year’s resolutions nor planned to completely “reinvent” myself or my life.

    The past three years have brought up many unresolved issues, emotions to release, and wounds to heal. It’s been quite a rollercoaster ride, and I want to be gentle with myself.

    Instead of setting resolutions, I sat down with a simple moleskin journal and pondered a few questions to create my own happiness this year based on what matters most to me.

    I’d like to share bits of this process with you—seven questions—to help you achieve the same in your life. Because, let’s face it, we deserve it!

    You may grab your journal or any notebook and a cup of your favorite beverage (mine was a mocha latte), play a music playlist that inspires you, and take some time to reflect upon your life and how you want it to look and feel like moving forward.

    1. What is meaningful to you?

    Or, put another way, what gives your life meaning right now? I say “right now” because it can change over time.

    My mom and I were reflecting on the past three years the other day, sharing how certain things have lost their importance and meaning while other aspects of our lives have become almost vital.

    Conversation topics, activities, and even certain relationships are not fulfilling anymore. As we talked, we realized we’ve been grieving them quite painfully for the past couple of years.

    For example, I’ve become more sensitive, and shallow relationships don’t satisfy me anymore. I want deep and honest conversations and heartful connections. I seek fewer distractions and spend more time in contemplation.

    Although change can be painful, it always opens doors to new horizons. It’s not that nothing has meaning anymore, but that not the same things do, and it’s to us to find what those are.

    So, what is meaningful to you right now? Nurture it.

    2. What’s your most critical need?

    Last year, I realized the importance of regularly identifying and addressing unmet needs as a form of self-care. So, after experiencing mild to moderate feelings of depression for several months—and finding comfort in neither meditation nor bubble baths (nor red wine)—I dug deeper to discover the source of my unhappiness.

    The search began with a question: “What do I need (really) right now?”

    At that time, I was craving social connections and laughter. Once I became aware of it, I started taking the necessary actions to fulfill those needs and soon felt better.

     What’s your most critical need?

    Once you’ve identified it, you could ask yourself, “What’s preventing me from meeting that need today? And how could I start attending to it?”

    3. How would you like to feel this year?

    In the end, we’re all seeking to feel good. “Good” can come in many flavors, like at peace, alive, or loved. Your favorite flavor may change from day to day, but there’s likely one feeling you crave more than others in this season of your life.

    What is it?

    Mine is playful. I’ve been too serious for too long, and my soul is calling for a good laugh.

    What about you?

    Once you’ve identified your top one to three feelings, you may ask yourself, “When do I tend to feel that way?” Think of the past week, month, and even several years, and identify the moments when you experienced those feelings. Try to replicate those moments (or similar ones) more often.

    4. What are your top three priorities this year?

    Greg McKeown wrote in Essentialism, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

    Essentialism, as described in the book, is to do fewer things—the most important ones—and do them better. Less in quantity, more in quality.

    It’s about being clear on your priorities and designing your life around them. Doing so makes you feel more satisfied and at peace with yourself and your life. You also experience less stress and overwhelm because your life isn’t cluttered with activities that drain your energy.

    So, where do you want to focus most of your attention and energy this year? Think of no more than one to three aspects of your life.

    If you have difficulty identifying your priorities, another question I ask myself every few months is, “If my life came to an end right now, what would I regret not having done, experienced, accomplished, and become?”

    Almost every time I reflect on this question, the first answer to arise is “not having attained a higher level of consciousness.” And every time, it reminds me to make more room in my schedule for my spiritual practice rather than filling it up with work. It helps me get my priorities straight.

    5. What are your top three goals?

    I used to ignore setting clear goals because having measurable targets to attain made me feel more anxious than excited. ‘That’s until I realized I was going in circles.

    Year after year until my mid-thirties, I found myself in the same place I was the previous year, especially with my creative projects. I wasn’t making any progress, and it got frustrating.

    Eventually, I understood and accepted the value of setting goals: it gives our minds a clear direction to move toward. It helps us to stay focused and avoid constantly getting distracted and sidetracked.

    As Yogi Berra famously said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

    Setting too many goals is rarely effective and can feel overwhelming and stressful. However, I find that having three main ones and perhaps a few smaller objectives is a good number.

    So, what are your top three goals this year?

    6. What are three actions you’ll take to achieve each of these goals?

    That’s the most practical question of the lot, and it invites us to be proactive and think of how we can start tackling those goals.

    I’m very “Vata”—the creative personality type of Ayurveda. Vata is heady, gets easily distracted, and constantly changes its mind. It wants to take all paths and often ends up getting nowhere.

    Defining my priorities, setting goals, and defining three actions to start accomplishing those goals helps me stay focused on what matters and avoid wasting time and energy on what doesn’t. Plus, clarity reduces stress, and it’s a powerful antidote to procrastination. You’re more likely to do something if it’s clear in your mind.

    What three actions will you take to tackle your goals for this year?

    7. What are twelve new things you want to try, learn, or explore?

    Every year, I choose twelve experiments—things I’m curious to try and explore—one for each month. I started doing this a few years ago, at a time when my life felt sort of bland and uninspiring.

    So far, I have attended a cacao ceremony, had a reading with a medium, tried Deepak Chopra’s 21-Day Abundance Meditation challenge, participated in a laughter yoga class, tried ecstatic dancing, had a Quantum Healing Hypnosis session, and experimented with a bunch of other things.

    Doing experiments is a great way to discover new interests that could become passions. It also allows you to meet new people and uncover aspects of yourself—like desires and personality traits—that you didn’t even know existed. Overall, it makes your life richer!

    You just have to pick twelve experiments and assign each to a month of the year. Then, after each experiment, ask yourself, “Did I like it? Do I want to do it again?”

    —

    I hope you’ll find value in some of these ideas and that they’ll inspire you to create your own happiness.

    May this year bring you experiences that make you come alive or give you more of the feelings your soul craves the most in this season of your life.

  • How to Live an Extraordinary Life, Starting Right Where You Are

    How to Live an Extraordinary Life, Starting Right Where You Are

    “Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” ~Rumi

    “Isn’t this a miracle?” I asked myself in the milk aisle at Whole Foods.

    It was a Wednesday night after work, and I was buying a few staples to get us through the week. It was a completely ordinary moment in a completely ordinary day, and it was miraculous.

    Rewind a few years, same Whole Foods, same shopping list, and you’d find me absentmindedly wandering the aisles, lost in a head full of worries. I couldn’t tell you now what I was worried about then—the house, the kids, money, probably.

    My body would be tense, with a hint of tears right behind my eyes.

    “Isn’t this supposed to be a miracle?” I might have asked if I had the words to describe that feeling.

    For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be one of those interesting people who did interesting things like paint murals or write books. I wanted to see every continent and learn as many languages as my brain could hold. I wanted to feel excited by my life.

    As a child, I had no doubt that this is what growing up would be like.

    But, for just as long as I can remember, I also lived under the assumption that I had something to prove. My intelligence, my worth, my place in this world.

    Somehow, these two ideas became intertwined.

    That part of me that felt so certain that her life would be extraordinary started to have doubts.

    Could I really pull it off?

    Had I really earned it?

    Was I being completely delusional?

    Over time, that vision of an extraordinary life felt like a silly childhood dream, and I stopped myself from following it. I worked hard and earned a good reputation, but that excitement, that fulfillment was always just out of my reach.

    I would let it go saying, it’ll come later, but as I checked off the boxes of life’s to-do list—degree, job, marriage, kids—I wasn’t feeling anything like I thought I would.

    The feeling that something was off fueled a restlessness that I mistook for motivation. I poured myself into school and then work, but not necessarily out of excitement. I think a part of me still believed that if you weren’t happy, you just weren’t working hard enough at it.

    What confused me about it all was that my life was good. I had a beautiful, growing family, a stable job, and a safe, comfortable house. I mean, I was buying organic milk to pour on my cereal. That’s a privilege.

    So, if nothing was “wrong,” why didn’t it feel right?

    I’d scold myself for not being more grateful, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t feel the way I wanted.

    Then, one ordinary day, while squeezing in another email during my lunch hour, a little thought snapped me out of it.

    “You’re missing the point, Leslie.”

    Time stopped just long enough for me to notice my racing heart.

    Maybe you’ve had these epiphanies, where you’re amazed by your own wisdom and you feel so incredibly clear and awake. Maybe it was during a life-changing event, or maybe, like me, it was during an everyday moment, like buying toothpaste or feeding the cats.

    The immediate effect wasn’t anything extreme. There was no out of body experience, no inexplicable knowledge of the universe. Just an ordinary little thought that led to another ordinary little thought.

    What if living an extraordinary life isn’t about the details?

    Every now and then, I’d pull out a list I made that day and add a thought or two to it.

    The point is…

    Overflowing.

    Seeing more magic.

    Doing what you love.

    Being happy.

    Being present.

    Feeling bright, brave, and brilliant.

    Waking up and appreciating the mountains.

    My children knowing how much they are loved.

    Gratefully receiving everything I have.

    Letting myself unfold.

    Alignment, not approval.

    Trusting the wisdom of my own heart.

    A hundred percent up to me.

    And in a gradual, ordinary kind of way, I figured it out. That feeling I wanted wasn’t an outcome. It wasn’t something that would happen “when.” It wasn’t in the details at all. It’s your feelings, moment to moment, that make your life extraordinary.

    There is no committee keeping score and waiting to grant permission to begin. There’s just us, the people we care about, our corner of the world, and those little moments. And we have a choice in what we do with them.

    That feeling that something was wrong wasn’t about my reputation or my checklist. It was about my awareness of the miracles right in front of me and my willingness to take conscious, meaningful steps that felt extraordinary to take.

    Since that day, my life has changed dramatically.

    We live in the same house, we shop at the same store, I have the same job, but now, I’m also one of those people who is curious about everything. Who loses themselves in creative projects just because. Who creates art, writes poetry, and self-publishes books. I’ve become one of those people who sees even the most ordinary moment at Whole Foods on a Wednesday afternoon as extraordinary.

    How did I do it? I simply let myself begin right where I was.

    You may have a completely different version of extraordinary, and that’s what’s so perfect. How to live an extraordinary life is entirely up to you—it’s your life, after all. The action itself isn’t as important as the intent behind it.

    As long as your intent is to make something in your world just a little better, to learn something just a little deeper, to try something you’re just a little curious about, it’s foolproof. You could institute pizza Saturdays or travel the world, saving endangered species. Both are extraordinary.

    If you’re not sure where to begin, here are a few things to try. They changed the world for me.

    1. Be tenacious in your appreciation and optimism.

    First, slow down and look around. Then, appreciate anything and everything you possibly can. Thank the sun, thank the water, thank the air you breathe. Look out for the funny thing that happened on your way to work, beautiful sunsets, and acts of human kindness. Even when everyone around you wants to complain about the boss, be the one who notices that it’s such a nice day.

    When I talked about my day, I used to begin with something that went wrong. Then, I gave myself one tiny challenge: lead with gratitude. I made a point of starting conversations with something positive as often as I could, which meant I had to start looking for those positive things and remembering to bring them up. I discovered so much beauty around me with this one simple switch.

    2. Define your extraordinary.

    What do you want to see in this lifetime? What do you want to learn? How do you want to feel while you’re living your life?

    I’d thought about these things before, of course, but they would quickly get taken over by something more serious. I didn’t want to waste time. My attitude changed when I decided that feeling curious, engaged, and alive was more important than being productive.

    I began setting intentions for the week. I’d write down an idea that excited me, a feeling I wanted to nurture, and something I wanted to learn or create. Then, I gave myself small, meaningful challenges that fit with those intentions. Carrying a composition book with me quickly led to filling that composition book, and then another and another.

    3. Make friends with your body.

    Your body was made for living, so live in it. Use it in a life-affirming way. Don’t just feed it, nourish it. Let it move, let it sweat, let it pump its blood, laugh, cry, and feel. Stretch into it and savor its senses. Rest it when it’s tired, heal it when it’s hurting, love it even when you want to change it, and thank it. And when it has something to tell you, lean in and really listen.

    I used to treat my body like it had no purpose. I didn’t nourish it, I overworked its muscles, and I constantly tried to remodel it.

    It wasn’t until I started paying attention to how I feel now that I asked myself, is this how you would treat a child or an animal in your care?

    My answer was an emphatic NO.

    4. Lose yourself in curiosity and creativity.

    Follow the fun and let yourself overflow. Take on a ridiculous project just because it lights you up, even if it’s silly, you’re “too old,” or it’s “wasting time.” Let it be messy. Let it change directions. And let it fail spectacularly. The outcome isn’t as important as the process of it.

    I practice this by painting with my children. They are experts at following curiosity and creativity. While I’m painstakingly sketching a dog or a flower, they’re creating imaginary animals in underwater kingdoms and then covering the entire thing in handprints when the inspiration strikes.

    Every time, I shake my head with a smile—this is supposed to be fun, remember?

    5. Be of service in a way that’s meaningful to you.

    Share something. Create something. Teach something. Go where you are masterful and add value to the world in any way that’s accessible to you. Feed the hummingbirds, pick up litter, volunteer in your community. Big or small, it doesn’t matter; it’s the meaning behind it that makes all the difference.

    I started by cultivating the kind of presence I wanted to have in my own life. I wanted to feel present at home, for one, so I reduced the expectations I put on myself. The house may be messier, but our weekend adventures at the park are nothing short of extraordinary.

    If you’ve ever wanted to feel differently in your life, take one little, ordinary step. And then another. Let your feelings guide you. Your extraordinary life is waiting for you on the other side.

  • Living a Meaningful Life: What Will Your Loved Ones Find When You Die?

    Living a Meaningful Life: What Will Your Loved Ones Find When You Die?

    “At the end of life, at the end of YOUR life, what essence emerges? What have you filled the world with? In remembering you, what words will others choose?” ~Amy Rosenthal

    Most people believe sorting through a loved one’s belongings after death provides closure. For me, it provided an existential crisis.

    After glancing at the angry sky in my father’s driveway for what seemed like hours, I mustered up the courage to crack open the door to the kitchen. The eerie silence stopped me in my tracks. Wasn’t he cooking up a storm in this cluttered kitchen just a few days ago?

    I started with the mounds of clothes and cuddled them gently before pitching them. The sweet aroma of his fiery cologne still lingered. The air smelled just like him.

    My father’s belongings served as physical reminders of how he spent his time on Earth. Some of my favorites included:

    A weathered yellow newspaper clipping of his parents. Cherished family photos, with him grinning ear to ear. A collection of homemade cookbooks. Framed quotes such as Mi casa es su casa. A prestigious Pottery Barn leather chair, distressed by puppy claw marks. Nostalgic t-shirts from the early 90’s.

    Chipped and heavily-used Williams-Sonoma platters. An entertainment center that mimicked a NASA operation center, with 70’s CDs left in the queue. Invitations to neighborhood block parties. An embroidered apron which read “World’s Best Grill Master” paired with still fresh barbeque sauce stains.

    Homemade recipe cards with quirky quotes like “It’s good because it’s cooked on wood.” An entire closet of camping gear. Leftover birthday celebration goodies. Glazed pottery from local North Carolinian artists. Entertaining sports memorabilia on full display. And a tender card from me:

    Dear Dad,

    You’re the best dad ever! I hope you have a birthday filled with tasty BBQ, blaring seventies music, and a pepperoncini pepper to start the day off right. Thank you for being there for me. You are my hero. I can’t wait to celebrate with you this weekend!

    My father collected items that brought him joy, and, clearly shared them with others.

    While you may not know him, or think you have anything to do with him, you do.

    You will be him one day. We will all be him one day. At some point, someone will rummage through our drawers. Scary, isn’t it?

    Weeks later after organizing his possessions, I returned to my lavish apartment with cloudy judgment. As soon as I arrived, I dropped my luggage near the door and waltzed into my closet. The items that once made me proud, made me nauseous. If someone rummaged through my keepsakes, they would find:

    A closet full of color-coordinated designer brand clothes. Scratched CDs listing my favorite nineties bands. An entire drawer filled with vibrant, unused makeup. A high-end collection of David Yurman rings, necklaces, and bracelets. Wrinkled Nordstrom receipts. An assortment of gently used designer handbags. And, pictures of fair-weather friends scattered throughout.

    Do you know what they all had in common? Me.

    ME! ME! ME!

    Comparing my life to my father’s led to a life-changing decision. Should I continue to splurge on meaningless items or start completely over?

    After a moment of contemplation, my life mirrored a blank slate. Products related to “keeping up with the Jones’s” were no longer my jam. Instead, my money was reserved for incredible moments that produced long-term joy and warm memories.

    My new spending habits derived from the following financial values:

    • Seek experiences that make me feel alive.
    • Purchase life-changing products.
    • Invest in creative hobbies that I’m proud of.
    • Provide others with joyous moments.
    • Initiate celebratory activities.
    • Make financial decisions out of love.

    With a little trial and error, I traded in frivolous shoulder bags for top-rated camping gear. Saturday shopping days transformed into baking Sundays. And most importantly, I went from feeling not enough to experiencing fulfillment.

    Twelve years later, I’m happy to share that I continue to evaluate my purchases using a “Will this make a good memory?” lens. In retrospect, mending my financial habits was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

    Why? I’m no longer impressed by status. I prefer art, learning, and the outdoors over any invitation to shopping. In return, my life is filled with purpose, meaning, and long-term satisfaction.

    What I know for sure is that most commodities on their own overpromise and underdeliver, unless we intentionally create an evocative memory with them. Materialistic purchases provide us with fleeting moments of happiness. On the contrary, curating beautiful moments with others delivers long-term joy.

    While you won’t find many luxurious products in my house now, you will find:

    A four-person picnic backpack for sunny days at a park. Bird feeders galore. A fine assortment of tea to share with others. Homemade bath bombs for birthdays. Color-coordinated self-improvement books. Aromatic sea salt exfoliants that replicate a spa experience. Cheery holiday decorations.

    An assortment of various vision boards and bucket lists. Seasonal candles galore. A bathroom drawer filled with citrus soaps, shampoo, and lotions for overnight guests. A collection of homemade scrapbooks featuring beloveds.

    An emerald green trekking hiking backpack for outdoorsy adventures. Crinkled Aquarium tickets. Handwritten family cookbooks. Seeds for a blooming garden. Hygge and cozy themed library nooks. A bright blue hybrid bike, for nomadic quests. A closet full of board games. And my most prized possession of all, a sentimental card from my darling father, John:

    Happy Graduation, Britti!

    I am proud of who you are and proud to be your dad. I like how you hold your head high. You are becoming a beautiful young woman and fun to be around. You have taught me things. You are so important to me. I treasure our time together and will always be here for you! It’s not always easy, but, you have a lot of love around you. I hope that life keeps blessing you. Keep spreading your wings and following your dreams!

    Love, Dad

    The real question is, when someone organizes your belongings, what will they find?

  • How to Tame a Worrying Mind During Difficult Times

    How to Tame a Worrying Mind During Difficult Times

    EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

    “Mental health is just as important as physical health.” ~Unknown

    Our main focus during this challenging time is quite rightly on our physical well-being. But we shouldn’t forget about our mental health considering these are stressful times for all of us.

    Will we get sick?

    Will our loved ones die?

    Will we have enough food to feed the family?

    How will we pay the bills?

    Will things ever get back to normal?

    So many questions, so many worries.

    Worrying used to keep me awake at night. It occupied every space of my mind during every waking minute. I always felt on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I didn’t feel like I could handle life at all.

    My life was like this for many years until I began to understand myself better. I healed my past traumas and learned to respond to myself in effective and compassionate ways.

    Some of what I’ve learned has helped a great deal during this time of uncertainty and unpredictability. This has resulted in me experiencing great mental health with well-balanced moods, resilience in the face of challenge, and solid emotional regulation skills.

    And let me tell you, I was pretty much the opposite extreme before, so these mental health secrets really do work. I want to share them with you so you too can benefit, because emotional well-being can help see us through the challenges that lie ahead.

    Mental Health Booster #1: Be Present

    When I used to worry and cripple myself with anxiety, I was caught up in my head. I followed every thought like a puppy chases a squirrel. It was too tempting, and I couldn’t resist it. One fearful thought led to another, and down the slippery slope of worry I went. I never landed anywhere pleasant.

    Being caught up in my mind meant that I wasn’t present enough to pay attention to myself, so I didn’t know how I felt or what I wanted. I was just stressed out of my mind while staying stagnant in my life.

    Being caught up in your head right now probably looks like worrying about your health or someone else’s, watching the news and feeding your mind with more and more scary updates. Maybe you can feel that you’re spiraling and your anxiety is increasing. Maybe you’re obsessively following the media coverage and forgetting about everything else.

    These are examples of not being present.

    Being present means being fully in the moment. It’s not being distracted but engaging with what is.

    So instead of filling my mind with worrisome news, I tend to what is going on right in front of me. I may play with my baby, cook for my children, or take a warm bath. In this way, I am there both physically and emotionally, which helps me to stay out of my head.

    During challenging times, I pay particular attention to any distress signals like shallow breathing, feeling shaky, or having a tight chest. I no longer see them as something additional to worry me but rather as signs that alert me to take a break.

    I pause and get still. I start to be there for myself.

    I reconnect with what is going on around me. I ground myself in my body. I focus on my breath.

    I slow down. I get present.

    Then the anxious voices in my heads, my little worry warts, begin to fade away.

    Mental Health Booster #2: Feel and Validate Your Feelings

    We all experience an increase in uncomfortable feelings during challenging times. If we have to stay at home, there are fewer distractions to take our mind off fearful thoughts and difficult emotions.

    We can easily find ourselves overwhelmed by our feelings.

    I remember many times in my life when it felt like the walls were closing in on me while something horrifically painful inside me was trying to break out. I felt hot and panicked. I didn’t know what to do and worried that I was losing my mind.

    I had been avoiding and fighting my feelings for so long that I didn’t understand them. I feared them. I used all my energy and effort to suppress them, but every now and then, during challenging times, I couldn’t keep it up

    The additional stress was simply too much.

    One day I read that we were meant to feel our feelings. Wait, WHAT!?

    Mind. Blown.

    I had been fighting my feelings and running away from them all my life, and now I was being told that if I ever wanted to get better, I had to feel my feelings.

    So I started letting them happen. It wasn’t comfortable and it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it because I realized resisting my feelings was what actually made it all so painful.

    I learned that I had to stop telling myself that I shouldn’t feel how I was feeling, that I was being ridiculous, that I was too sensitive, and so on. I was invalidating myself. I was shaming myself for feeling whatever I was feeling.

    I was making myself wrong for feeling all the time. No wonder I felt overwhelmed when experiencing something I had judged as shameful!

    Invalidating our feelings is harmful to our mental well-being. It erodes our self-esteem and leaves us feeling broken and defective. It makes us disconnect from ourselves, and we begin to make all the wrong choices because we no longer know how we feel and what we want.

    Staying mentally healthy during difficult times requires you feel your feelings and allow yourself to process them, which means not fighting or avoiding them.

    It also means that you have to learn to validate your feelings. This involves you normalizing and empathizing.

    You do this by telling yourself that it’s okay to have this feeling, and that any human with the kinds of thoughts you’re thinking or the kind of experience you are having would feel how you’re feeling. Tell yourself that it’s okay. That in itself is reassuring.

    For example, most recently I have been experiencing fearful thoughts about the health of my loved ones. I worry that they’ll get sick, or worse. Instead of fighting my worry,  I validate my fears and soothe myself.

    I can see that it’s perfectly natural to worry about losing those you love and that the anxiety I experience is a result of these kinds of thoughts. My anxiety is therefore perfectly normal considering the circumstances, and I don’t have to see it as a problem, which in itself is reassuring and decreases my anxiety.

    Mental Health Booster #3: Engage with Something Meaningful

    When we learn not to make our feelings problems, it creates the space we need to engage with something meaningful, something that matters to us, something that brings us joy.

    And what is really important for our mental well-being during difficult times is to engage in something meaningful for us.

    We can choose something fun, something silly, something creative, something lighthearted. We can come up with new projects or can focus on being productive in some way. We can improve our relationships by having some fun or being caring toward each other. We can play with our kids.

    Whatever it is, choose something. Get present and engage with it.

    It will take your mind off things. It will give you a break.

    Don’t let a difficult situation confine and restrict you.

    This isn’t about denying or avoiding the realities of a difficult situation. It’s about preserving the mental energy needed to deal with it in the most effective and compassionate way possible.

    And a big part of preserving our mental energy and health is maintaining a sense of purpose in the face of a crisis.

    This is something most of us have in common: We all want to feel that we are useful in some way, that we have a purpose, that we’re doing something valuable.

    And there are so many different things we can do to have that experience. But in order to do so, we need to have space in our minds, which requires us to practice being present, to feel our feelings and to validate them.

    —

    I hope that these three mental health boosters help you as much as they have helped me. I am grateful to you for reading this, as this is my meaningful contribution that allows my mind to focus on something I find valuable and enjoyable.

  • The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

    The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

    “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

    Throughout my life, I’ve moved countries, studied a foreign language, changed careers, launched a business, run a half marathon, written a book, faced agonizing loss and grief, won awards, been deeply hurt, created awesome charity campaigns, lived with huge uncertainty and pain, found love and friendships to cherish, and given birth to three miraculous humans.

    Throughout these and plenty more crazy, insane, complex, and utterly beautiful life events, I have collected treasured building blocks that help me live a life of meaning, purpose, and joy every single day.

    I want to share them with you in the hope that throughout your own daily trials and triumphs, you can use these ABCs to help you create a life you love.

    Transformation is not a switch; it’s more like a gauge.

    The beauty is that you don’t have to flip a button and practice and internalize all twenty-six letters instantaneously.

    Like learning anything, start with just one at a time.

    Once you’ve mastered it, add another.

    With consistent repetition, you’ll be fluent, and these personal growth building blocks will lay a magnificent foundation for all your life’s work.

    You are the author. You hold the pen. You get to learn and read and write your own masterpiece, chapter by chapter, line by line, letter by letter.

    You are the hero of your own story.

    So let’s get back to basics: the ABCs of personal growth.

    Acknowledge:

    Knowing your strengths, talents, and abilities is the first step to unleashing your potential and power and creating meaning and lasting transformation. We are all blessed with so many wonderful gifts, but we can’t unwrap and share them with others if we fail to acknowledge what they are. Acknowledge yours today! What are you good at? What do people come to you for help with? What experiences have you gone through, and what have you learned from them?

    Blessings:

    Blessings are all around us. If we choose to look for them, we will certainly find them. What are you grateful for? What makes you smile? What positives do you notice in your life right now? Each day, look for three things to be grateful for. These blessings multiply!

    Control:

    There are so many things in life that we have very little or no control over—what happens to us, what other people say or do. We are not the general managers of the universe. However, we have incredible control over how we choose to respond to every experience we encounter. Our control lies in our attitude and our behavior—our choices. Choose wisely.

    Discipline:

    The master key to success lies in discipline. We are surrounded by enticing temptations and obstacles that deflect us from our goals all the time. Discipline is like a muscle; the more we work on building this skill, the more we develop excellent habits that bring us closer to achieving our biggest success.

    Discipline means asking yourself: What is the very best use of my time right now? And then consistently following through. Small increments every day lead to tidal waves of success—step by step, day by day with consistent discipline and dedication.

    Encouragement:

    We are all fighting battles, and a gentle word that offers hope and support can literally save a dream.

    Are you an encourager or a critic? Do you accentuate problems or encourage solutions and creative thinking? Do you lift people up? Are you inspiring, motivating, and supportive of helping others to get further and reach higher? When we lift others up, we rise. Commit to becoming the most encouraging person you know. The world needs more cheerleaders desperately!

    Focus:

    What would you be doing with your time if you knew you had only six healthy months left to live? Focus all your time, energy, and resources on the things and people that truly matter most to you.

    Vague goals produce vague results. Blurry goals yield blurry outcomes. Take the time to get clear about where you are going and what you’d like to accomplish. Write this down. Then focus. Whatever we focus on grows. Get clear and then laser focus on your most meaningful priorities. Don’t sweat the other stuff. Keep it simple and focus on what you care most about.

    Give:

    Giving to another person and knowing our contribution has had a lasting impact creates true happiness and peace of mind. Anytime you give, you grow; every time you give, you get, whether it’s a kind word, giving charity, volunteering, or connecting to a cause that speaks to you. Your giving has the power to light up the world.

    Ask yourself each morning: How can I give of myself today? How can I show up more fully? How can I be of value and service today? How can I contribute today? What difference can I make today?

    Help:

    Think about the people you look up to, those who already are where you’d most love to be. Ask them how they did it. Reach out to the experts. Spend time with them. Learn from them. Get their help. Use the love and support of family and friends to spark your bravery and courage.

    Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Make a list of where you need a hand and a list of people who could become your greatest helpers on your journey. We’re beings of social interest. Helping is who we are. We thrive when we help.

    Give and get help wherever you can. It’s a showcase of wholehearted and vulnerable living, which makes you real. People like helping real people. We’re all just walking each other home at the end of the day. That’s what it’s all about.

    Inspiration:

    Read, learn, blog, journal, go to classes and talks and lectures that inspire you. Commit to starting and ending your day with inspiration. One minute of inspiration can ignite a passion inside of you that can alter the course of your life forever.

    Get out more, be curious, ask questions, become more open-minded. Inspiration is everywhere. Look for it. Inspiration is what charges us. When we are charged we grow. When we grow, we are happy.

    Joy:

    Choose to become joyful. Appreciate the gift of life. Each moment is precious, and fragile, and denied to many. Laugh and smile, have fun, and lighten up. If you see someone walking around without a smile, offer them one of yours.

    Not feeling like you have joy to share? What lights you up? Do you have a list that you can plug into your week?

    My joy list includes: a delicious cup of coffee, time with the people I love, a great run or workout, reading something magnificent, laughing and watching the sunset, to name but a few. I make sure to do these daily. You’d be amazed how many people love writing and sharing their joy list, but they forget to schedule and do the very things that bring them joy. Create your list and then live it—joyfully.

    Kindness:

    Imagine a world where each person is deeply and truly devoted to kindness. Let’s work on being the kindest spouse, friend, parent, manager, employee, coach, and child we can be. I truly believe that kindness is the only thing that will change and save the world. Tiny acts of kindness create ripples so far and wide, we can’t begin to comprehend just how far they can reach.

    Learn:

    I am known to be a forever student. As I complete one course, I enroll in another. My bedside table has a tower of books and I soak up learning with a desert-like thirst.

    When we learn, we open our minds and discover new possibilities. We can learn to pioneer anything! The sky is the limit. Let’s give ourselves permission to try new things, take risks, and be humble enough to learn from new leaders and teachers.

    Lessons are all around us. Failure can become our greatest teacher. Mistakes can become our greatest mentors. Make sure you spend time with people who know more than you. It’s humbling and awe-inspiring. Write a list of some of the things you’d love to learn this year. Each day, record one new thing you didn’t know before. Watch your horizons expand exponentially!

    Mindfulness Meditation:

    Slow down. Take time to breathe. Mindfulness offers incomparable value to the human spirit, psyche, and body. Dedicate a set time each day to pausing, being truly present, and listening to your soul and inner wisdom.

    The research available on the huge benefits of meditation is mind-blowing. Treat yourself and everyone you love to the gift of meditation. Even a few minutes a day has the power to awaken, elevate, transform, and enhance your life in ways you can’t begin to imagine.

    Neuroscience has evidence today that meditation literally rewires your brain and can change your thinking, habits, and negative beliefs. It’s miraculous and it’s accessible to every one of us. Try it for yourself. Start to live a mindful life of greater peace.

    Never:

    Never give up. Never do a permanent act based on a temporary feeling. Never say, “It’s impossible” when really, it’s just hard. Never listen to naysayers and non-believers. Never push aside a dream that means the world to you because of the time or effort it’s going to take to make it happen.

    If today, “Never” is all you do, it’s more than enough, it’s plenty; in fact, it’s everything.

    Optimism:

    When we are optimistic, failure is merely feedback giving us significant information; hardships are learning experiences that help us grow and build resilience for bigger things; and even the most miserable day always holds the promise that “tomorrow will be better.”

    Today, when faced with adversity, ask yourself: What would an optimist do right now? What would they try? What’s might be possible because of your optimistic outlook? What can you see that you never saw before?

    The optimist sees the sunset and knows that even the most awful days can still end beautifully. The optimist knows that a few steps backward after moving forwards is not a disaster, it’s just a cha-cha, and the optimist knows that the cup is refillable!

    Prioritize:

    Prioritize your life so that your highest value activities take preference. Enhance and refine your time management skills so that you are able to identify what tasks you need to tackle first. Say yes to your priorities and make each day count. When you live this way, there is no regret.

    Complete your highest value activity first so that it’s done. Done is better than perfect. Get the important stuff done before anything else. Always prioritize in writing. It’s not enough to merely think about what matters most to do; grab pen and paper to record and track your priorities so that you can measure and accomplish them every single day. Start today. Plan for tomorrow. Celebrate a life that’s not wasted!

    Quit:

    Originally I was going to share a long list of things to quit—like complaining, making excuses, indulging negative habits, staying in the same place when you’re itching to move, and letting fear and naysayers control your life. Then I realized it’s human nature to do some of these things from time to time. So work on these things, but quit being hard on yourself when you struggle.

    You will never be able to completely stop doing all things that are unhealthy for you, but you can always give yourself credit for trying.

    Release:

    What are you carrying right now that is too heavy? Every day, practice letting go of the things that weigh you down.

    It’s not easy to let go of regret, mistakes, anger, resentment, ego, jealousy, and comparison, but each day offers us abundant opportunity to practice. Try to catch yourself when you’re getting caught up in a story in your head so you can take a few deep breaths, center yourself, and free up your energy for the people and things that bring you peace and purpose.

    Sorry:

    We all need to learn how to apologize to those we’ve hurt, intentionally or unintentionally. And though we all deserve the same in return, we also need to learn to accept an apology we were never given. Then, we can move forward without anger. Forgiveness is a gift both to others and ourselves.

    Let’s decide today to be courageous by apologizing or offering forgiveness.

    Turning the page allows us to move on to the next chapter of the story. We can’t do this if we keep re-reading the one we’re currently stuck on.

    Thank You:

    We all want to be acknowledged for our efforts. “Thank you” is such a simple phrase, yet it means so very much.

    Recognizing what others do for us not only reminds us to be modest and humble, but it opens doors to more deeper and meaningful relationships, enhances our empathy, and improves our psychological and physical health.

    Who can you thank today? Start with one person and extend your appreciation as far and wide as you possibly can.

    Unplug:

    Unplug from technology. Switch off. Spend time with yourself, by yourself. One of the greatest discoveries of self-transformation and personal development is not only getting to know yourself, but getting to like what you find.

    Connect to all your loved ones. Look people in the eye. Listen with all of your senses. We miss out on so much when we are plugged in to devices rather than to hearts.

    Spend time in nature. How can you redesign your day so that you create time outside? Do you take regular breaks? When was your last vacation? When was the last time you admired a flower? Do yourself a favor when you have the time. Take off your shoes and go walk outside barefoot on the grass. Watch the sunset. Play with a ladybug. Stare at the clouds. Just be.

    Voice:

    Speak your truth. Wear your passion. Let people know what you care about. Let people get to know the real, beautiful, one-of-a-kind you and what you stand for.

    You have a unique voice. You have greatness within you. You have something the world needs. That’s why you are here. Use your voice to speak your goals. Use your voice to care. Use your voice to inspire. Use your voice to make positive change. Use your voice to pray. Use your voice to sing. Use your voice to laugh. Use your voice to help. Use your voice to care. Use your voice to love. Speak up.

    Work:

    Even the most brilliant, tried-and-tested life tools in the world can’t work, unless you do. There are no quick fixes or magic wand. Real transformation is a slow, gradual, and real process that requires hard work and consistent effort. With commitment and dedication to working hard, nothing can stand in your way of moving forward.

    Hard work means that we are willing to try, fall, and stand up again; we are willing to be bold; and we are willing to face ridicule and criticism. Work on your goals each day, step by step. We are designed to grow. As we work toward our dreams, with patience, comes tremendous reward. What you put in is what you get out.

    eXtra:

    Don’t be someone who just does the bare minimum required in life. Go the extra mile and do more than you did before.

    Expand your comfort zone with extra focus, extra power, extra love, and extra drive.

    The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little extra. Today, where can you show up a little EXTRA?

    Yesterday:

    Leave it behind. Glance back to see how far you have come, but keep moving forward. Leave your past mistakes behind you. Yesterday just determines your starting point for today. It in no way predicts how far you can go.

    Live now, savor the present, and plan wisely for tomorrow. Don’t get stuck in what was, you don’t live there anymore. Today is a new day to set new intentions, get inspired and motivated, and start taking meaningful action toward your goals.

    Zest:

    Do you do things just because, or do you do things with fervor, zeal, passion, energy, and enthusiasm?

    Where in your life are you still fast asleep? Where are you merely snoozing or drifting aimlessly?

    Now is the time to wake up. Choose one thing to do today that makes you come alive.

    Today, you get to decide to be accountable, not helpless; you get to decide to be interested, not indifferent. You get to live your life today on fire. You get to put your whole heart into something.

    What is the first thing you’re going to do, right now, to get the momentum rolling?

    —

    Each of these building blocks can stand alone or stand together. Choosing to work on even one of these will have a powerful positive effect on your life. Whether you are the kind of person who prefers a step by step process, one letter at a time, or you love to dive in deep and work on multiple tracks, these ABCs will give you an outstanding foundation on which to build a more purposeful, happier, and fulfilling life.

  • 4 Questions to Ask Yourself to Create a Truly Rich and Meaningful Life

    4 Questions to Ask Yourself to Create a Truly Rich and Meaningful Life

    “Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.” ~Unknown

    It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

    Stumbling through life without a clear sense of direction. Wondering day after day if it’s ever going to get better.

    After all, perpetual joy and a meaningful life are only for the rich and famous. The idea of fulfilment seems so far-fetched given the mundaneness of an ordinary day.

    But you know that anything is possible, right?

    Could it be that with a little thought, the day will come when you’ll enjoy the colors of the rainbow, regardless of whether you’ve reached your pot of gold or not?

    In Search of Material Riches

    I come from an underprivileged background. Growing up, the only thing I could think of that would make me happy was to be rich. While I frequently heard the saying, “Money doesn’t make you happy,” I dismissed its true message because I believed I needed stuff to live comfortably.

    So I spent most of my life chasing this fantasy, never actually getting to a point of contentment. In my adulthood, I was no longer destitute, but I was still after that illusion.

    Then, a few years ago I had a classic case of burnout and exhaustion. I didn’t know where I was going any longer, life tasted bland, and the future seemed pointless. All I could do was think about the woman I knew I was deep down, the woman full of hopes and aspirations to make a difference.

    I was desperate to change my situation.

    So the quest truly began. To repair my broken self, I indulged in self-help books, visited the professionals, and overlaid positive mantras in my brain in the hopes of waking up one morning as a new person.

    But a gaping black hole was still in my soul, waiting to be filled with something more meaningful.

    Getting Struck by Lightning

    After months of searching for the Holy Grail, someone planted an idea in me: “There’s no ‘light-bulb moment.’ The answers are already in front of you, if you choose to see them.”

    I was skeptical at first upon hearing this. “You mean I won’t be hit by this electrifying lightning bolt, changing my life forever?”

    On reflection, this was the enlightening idea that allowed me to move forward.

    I realized that all along I was looking in the wrong direction. I never really stopped to think about what was important to me and how I could use these insights to live a more fulfilling life where every day mattered.

    The truth is, we spend so much time following false riches and focusing on hollow goals that we often lose touch with what is right in front of us.

    However, there is a way to edge closer to your truth: to live a truly rich and meaningful life, you need to unearth your deepest values and desires.

    And to do that, I discovered that by asking the right questions, you can see through the mist casting shadows on your thinking and clarity.

    Questions are effective because they jolt your brain into a different level of reflection, digging to the root of your values (unlike wondering why you’re blocked, which only confirms you are indeed in a lost place).

    So, with the help of the following four questions, I began to uncover the hidden treasures that I neglected for so long in all areas of my life.

    I invite you to ask yourself these questions too, and note the immediate answers that surface.

     1. What kind of qualities does your superhero self have when relating to others?

    Imagine your internal fears magically disappear; how would you behave differently with others?

    This question clarifies the sorts of relationships you want to be forming with others. It’s not about how you’d like to be treated, but rather the way your ideal self would behave when connecting with others.

    Also think about what your superhero does when pushed to the limit. Does he or she stand by and let others dominate, or have the courage to say, “No, I’m not having this”?

    When I asked myself this question, integrity, self-respect, and honesty featured on top of my list of important qualities to have. Since then, I’ve successfully confronted people when I’ve found their behavior unacceptable toward me instead of keeping my sorrows inside.

    Remember, often you can’t run away from people you don’t like, but you can choose to respond to them differently, either by interpreting situations in an empowering way internally or by saying your peace out loud.

    2. What type of activities could you channel your energies toward that would satisfy you deep down?

    Imagine you’re receiving an award for your life’s work. How would they describe your achievements when you’re called to make your acceptance speech?

    This exercise is not meant to find your passion or your calling. It’s designed to shed light on the values that are dear to you, and it can be used in any workplace to inject enthusiasm into whatever you do.

    When I connected with my deeper values of being helpful, considerate, and compassionate, it was a game changer. I used these rediscovered qualities to give my full attention to those who needed it instead of focusing on trying to fit in a work environment that didn’t suit my personality.

    You may not be doing what you’d ideally like to right now, but you can turn even a stop gap activity into a source of valuable life enhancing experience.

    3. What do you spend too much time worrying about?

    Imagine you’re looking back on your life as an elderly person. What advice would your older self give to your younger self?

    None of us like to imagine ourselves as a bitter eighty-year-old full of regret. Every time I ask this question to myself, worries suddenly reorder themselves, and solutions appear instead of endless anxiety.

    This question particularly clarified for me that I needed to focus on being more open, trusting, and mindful. I’ve become more open to experiences I was afraid of before and more trusting of myself, the future, and others. I also purposefully slowed down and become mindful of the world around me, seeing the beauty in the everyday things I would have walked past before.

    Life’s daily trials can seem so insurmountable at times; petty incidents seem enough to want to tear your hair out. But do they really matter in the grand scheme of things? Will it matter even a few months on if someone talked to you the wrong way?

    4. What do you not do enough of?

    Imagine you have all the time in the world. What would your quiet times look like?

    When it comes to winding down, do you give yourself the opportunity to fully restore your energy? Or do you habitually squeeze an extra three to four hours of each day just to keep up with life’s demands?

    Chasing material things and endlessly going after bold goals can spell trouble ahead. Forgetting to pamper yourself now and then not only lets your health down, but also negatively affects your relationships.

    My new priorities that emerged were creativity, family, and health. I used to long for the day when I’d retire and could immerse myself in painting and drawing. But I discovered how I can add creative imagination to daily life when working on my planner or cooking a meal for instance.

    If this all sounds too alien, or wrong, maybe you have to start by accepting that you and your sanity matter as much as the next person’s. If you really care about living a meaningful life, doing more of what makes you happy will be just the magic pill you need.

    Living by Your Highest Standards

    You know life is only worth living if it’s meaningful.

    Waking up each morning with excitement does not have to be at the bottom of your priorities.

    Clarifying your deepest values and desires will help you make decisions (small or large) and see alternative options.

    You’ll have the power to take a stand when others are crossing your boundaries or asking for too much.

    You’ll realize you don’t need money to fulfill your dreams; you can travel on a budget, help your parents without spending a dime, and do work you enjoy rather than work that merely pays well.

    Finally, once you shift the focus and give yourself permission to live by your values, it’ll be such a motivating element that you’ll never again ask, “What’s the point of it all?”

  • The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day

    The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day

    “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield

    When I was seven years old, I almost died.

    My family and I were at Central Station in Sydney, Australia to celebrate the last steam train to ever depart the station.

    It was about eight at night, and I remember it so clearly.

    The train was stationary at the platform, about to depart. I heard the whistle from the engine as the wheels started to chug and move ever so slowly.

    My older brother and I were excited, and we decided that it would be a great idea to race the train. We told mum and dad, and they mentioned that they would meet us at the car outside afterward.

    The train started picking up some speed, so my brother and I started to jog beside it. Before we knew it, we were running. Shortly after that, we were sprinting.

    I remember ever so clearly watching the train as I was running along the platform. The carriages were a dark brown wooden color, and some of the windows were open. I remember one of the doors at the end of a carriage clanging open and shut with each jolt of the train.

    Then, I was out.

    The next thing I knew, I was huddled up in a crouched position with the wheels of the train literally centimeters from my face. I noticed that I was leaning hard against something firm. Then I realized it was the platform.

    I had somehow fallen in the gap between the platform and the train.

    I thought to myself, “How did I end up here?”

    The wheels continued to roll past me, and I could feel the breeze like it was trying to suck me in. I crouched there, staring at the end of the train, waiting for it to finally pass me by.

    After what seemed to be an eternity, the train finally moved past me and I was left there, crouching in the open with everything around me starting to go quiet.

    I quickly stood up and turned to the platform to see an older lady sitting on a bench, hands cupped around her mouth and eyes wide open. She was completely in shock.

    Before I knew it, my brother was with me and he pulled me up from the tracks onto the platform.

    He put his arm around me as started to move hastily back to my parents. However, he quickly removed his arm from around me and I noticed it had blood all over it. I realized I was bleeding heavily from the head.

    My parents were back at the car, and as we raced toward them they looked a little confused, not sure why I was crying and why my brother looked shocked. My brother started speaking really fast:

    “We were racing the train, and I was ahead of Brendan. I was getting toward the end of the platform so I stopped, and Brendan just ran into me! He went rolling along the platform and hit his head on the train and fell next to the tracks!”

    We rushed to hospital and got everything sorted. I was extremely lucky. The doctor mentioned that if it were an electric train I would have most likely died.

    As I went through this experience, I had a number of thoughts running through my head. Am I going to die? Do I have brain damage? Am I still going to be able to do the things I want to do?

    I then had some more thoughts that really hit me harder. What have I done in my life? Have I told everyone how much I love them? Has my life even mattered?

    I was only seven years old, but these thoughts and this experience had a profound impact on the way I conducted my life from then onward.

    I realized that I was blessed to have a second chance at life. I wanted to make sure that my life did matter. I wanted to make sure that I did achieve something and that I did tell those closest to me that I love them.

    I started focusing on my own personal development. Throughout school I was determined to get good grades and perform well at sports, as to me, this was success. I was always fascinated by the mind and throughout these years had a dream of running my own business, training people on human behavior and performance.

    However, I took on the advice of my parents and of society in general and ended up taking a safe job in the corporate world.

    There were so many days while working in the organization where I asked myself, “Am I really making a difference?” and “Am I living fully?” And you know what? I wasn’t happy with my answer.

    As the days went by and I asked myself these questions, I realized that I needed to make a change and make good on the promise I made to myself when I was seven years old.

    Although not an easy step, I have since left the corporate world and have a feeling of living more fully, making more of a difference, and loving more openly in this world. I’m proud of that.

    These are questions I still live by today and they guide me in everything I do. I believe they are the questions that everyone will ask when they are near the end of their time, and I encourage you to consider these questions today and regularly moving forward.

    Have you loved fully?

    I believe that the people in your life are the most important thing to your happiness, well-being, and your ability to cope through change in life. It is the people in your life that have made you who you are today.

    Don’t be afraid to tell those closest to you how much they mean to you. The more love and appreciation you show to others, the more love and appreciation you will get in return, compounding its positive effect on your life and on those around you.

    Have you lived fully?

    I believe that we all have the strength and ability to do the things that matter most to us, every single day.

    Don’t be afraid to do the things that you want to do. Take risks and live your life how you have always dreamed it to be.

    It can be challenging to do so, but with careful planning, support, and some steps in the right direction, you will be able to live more fully in the way you desire. Experience life in all it has to offer. Take challenges, expand your comfort zone, and be the best you can be in this world.

    Have you made a difference?

    I believe that we are all here to make a difference in this world.

    I believe that we all have something—be it wisdom, wealth, or love—that we can share with those around us.

    Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and don’t be afraid to make yourself vulnerable. It’s this vulnerability that enables you to be who you truly are and demonstrate to the world what you believe in. There are others in this world that can benefit from what you can do or what you have to say.

    Life is an amazing journey in which we are here to make a difference and support one another.

    You don’t need to wait for a near-death experience to realize this. You can ask yourself these questions now. I can certainly say it’s worth it.

  • 7 Ways to Form Deep, Meaningful Friendships

    7 Ways to Form Deep, Meaningful Friendships

    Friends

    “To have a friend and be a friend is what makes life worthwhile.” ~Unknown

    I am fascinated by friendships.

    Not the acquaintances you see occasionally or the Facebook friends who wouldn’t recognize you on the street.

    I’m talking about your real people. The people who know and love the deepest parts of you. Their soul sees yours.

    They’re the kind of people you can talk to about how hard it’s been to meditate lately or what’s really going on in your marriage. They’re the kind of people you call for a ride when you get a flat tire and they’re the ones who affirm and support all the “weird” things about you that make other people uncomfortable.

    They’re your inner circle people. The heart of your life.

    I’m so fascinated by deep, meaningful friendships like these because for most of my life, I’ve had none, or only a very small few.

    I always had friends, good friends, who I spent a lot of time with. We celebrated birthdays, analyzed boyfriend behavior, and discussed the pros and cons of the haircut of the season.

    But did I regularly look these friends in the eye and think to myself: Yep, you are a sister (or brother) to my soul?

    No. I didn’t.

    Admit when your friendships don’t nourish your soul.

    It’s not that I didn’t love them. I loved (and still love) them deeply.

    It’s not that I didn’t feel supported and cared for by them. I knew those things were true, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

    And it’s not that I thought I was better than them. I don’t. Acknowledging that you’re different or that you want different things doesn’t make you a snob. It just makes you different.

    According to my belief system, on the deepest of levels we’re all the same and all connected. But we also live in a human world, where personality, lifestyle choices, and values determine the way we live and relate to others.

    So I don’t think we should beat ourselves up for acknowledging that some relationships bring fluidity and symmetry to our hearts more easily and quickly than others.

    Once I faced the fact that I had very few of these profound soul friendships, the obvious next question was: Okay, so where do I find them?

    The general refrain in my head was something like:

    “Yeah, universe, I get that we’re all connected. We’re all one. Uh huh. But over here, in my corner of Planet Earth, I’m not feelin’ quite so connected these days. Where are my people?”

    A booming voice from the sky did not appear. But this old saying popped into mind:

    When you pray, move your feet.

    So I moved my feet. I turned my Soul Friend Radar to full tilt.

    I prowled the corners of the interwebs and relentlessly picked the brains of former colleagues and college friends, all in an attempt to find my siblings of the soul.

    I was determined to find the friends who I could talk openly with about my spiritual beliefs and how they informed every decision I made.

    And I wanted these same spiritually-minded friends to adore my sometimes-12-year-old sense of humor, my introversion, and my devotion to Grey’s Anatomy (even though this last one makes no sense to most of them).

    Spiritual and down to earth. Introspective and prone to kitchen dancing.

    Sounds like the duality of a perfect friendship to me, which is why I give thanks every day that I’ve now found these kinds of friends. It wasn’t that hard, actually (more on that soon).

    These friends have helped me become so much more joyous, fulfilled, and all kinds of giggly.

    And it didn’t take weeks or months for me to know if they were the soul friends I’d been hoping for. I could tell almost immediately.

    How I knew my soul knew yours.

    Stories I’d never told anyone easily fell off my lips. Sadness I thought I’d healed appeared as a crack in my voice. Our laughter together seemed like a sound I’d been hearing for centuries.

    As much as our culture waxes on and on about romantic love, some praise needs to be sent over to the soul brothers and sisters who hold us up through it all.

    The love that comes from your own, custom-made community of kinfolk is vital. Nothing is more nourishing.

    And because I wish that for you, too, here are 7 things I did to find my spiritual soul sisters and brothers. Go forth and make friends!

    1. Consider the possibility that you may already have friends who feel the same as you.

    Choose a few of your nearest and dearest and tell them what spirituality means to you and why it’s a big deal in your life. They may surprise you with enthusiasm, genuine curiosity, or a super-passionate spiritual story of their own.

    2. Be proactive in meeting like-minded people.

    Have you always wanted to go to a sweat lodge? Or do you get giddy at the thought of learning how to make your own incense? Do you daydream about being Byron Katie’s next door neighbor?

    Type whatever search terms tickle your fancy into Meetup.com, select your city, and voila! You’ll have a long list of gatherings to choose from, and they’ll be full of like-minded people who are also looking to make new connections.

    3. Run a Google search for conferences, retreats, or workshops with a spirituality theme.

    Sign up for one. Like, now.

    4. Ask your existing friends, family, or co-workers you trust for some referrals.

    Try something like:

    “Hey, not sure if we’ve ever talked about this in detail before, but I’m reeeally into [insert a specific area of spirituality that floats your boat–could be meditation, yoga, chanting, Eckhart Tolle’s books] and I’d like to connect with some local people who share my passion. Any names coming to mind? Would you feel comfortable introducing us?”

    5. When you find one soul brother or sister, tell them:

    I need more people like you! How about we plan a fun dinner/bowling night/karaoke party and invite a bunch of awesome people you know?

    6. Start a book club that focuses on spirituality/personal development books.

    Stick flyers up at your favorite yoga studios and coffee shops. You can also try posting an ad in the classified listings of your local paper, on a site like Craigslist and also on social media.

    7. If you get jazzed up by affirmations and mantras, try these on for size:

    • Deeply fulfilling friendships are on their way.
    • Love comes in many forms. I am open to them all.
    • Thank you for the friends that are coming. I know already: they’re the best!

    And remember that saying: When you pray, move your feet.

    Your friends are on their way.

    Photo by Vinoth Chandar

  • The Benefits of High-Quality Talk: Connect, Grow, and Thrive

    The Benefits of High-Quality Talk: Connect, Grow, and Thrive

    talking

    “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~Pema Chodron

    I was always disturbed and discouraged during periods in my life when I was stuck, circling in an eddy, moving—but going nowhere.

    At times I was stuck in my job: I was bored and couldn’t figure out how to get excited again. Even though I was the CEO and had lots of freedom to make changes in my organization and in my personal work activities, I couldn’t see what might move me toward my potential.

    At other times, I was stuck in a marriage that wasn’t dynamic, or I was between relationships and without prospects for the love and excitement I felt I needed to be happy.

    During those periods of dormancy, I was aware that I was stuck, and I was willing to shake things up to be able to emerge. But I didn’t know exactly what needed shaking up within myself, and I didn’t know how to shake myself up. I needed to be thrown out of the nest.

    I read broadly during those periods. I meditated. I exercised.

    But I continued to circle in an eddy of my own consciousness.

    Over time, I discovered how to bring high-quality talk into my life every day, and that discovery gave me the freedom and skill I needed for the dynamic life I wanted. 

    Creating high-quality talk gave me creative control over my own emergence.

    High-quality talk is: (more…)

  • 5 Ways to Turn Simple Daily Tasks into Meaningful Rituals

    5 Ways to Turn Simple Daily Tasks into Meaningful Rituals

    “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~ Robert Brault

    “Routine” can seem like a dirty word; we can get stuck repeating the same actions over and over again and feel like slaves to our habits.

    Yet there are some things we simply cannot get around—sleeping, waking, eating, working, and engaging with others. There are also repetitions that we embrace as rituals—Friday afternoon with its promise of the weekend, weekly religious observances, a favorite TV show even.

    What if we could turn regular, seemingly mundane daily activities into ritualistic celebrations instead of nagging chores?

    Turning quotidian activities into rituals, or creating new daily practices, transforms the little stuff into opportunities to stop, show gratitude, and marvel at the beauties of regular life.

    One of my rituals is praying. I pray on my knees every day and have been for 20 years. For me, it is a place of comfort and self-love. I love it. It’s like breathing—just happens no matter what.

    1. Affirm, affirm, affirm again.

    Affirmations remind us of what we value and put us on a path toward a happier, more mindful day. An affirmation is a statement about what we would like to experience, stated in a way that invites this new reality because we state it as already being true.

    Studies show that repeatedly saying affirmations physically creates new pathways and connections in your brain.

    Write your own affirmation to repeat to yourself at a pre-determined time each day. When writing, remember: (more…)

  • 6 Steps on the Path to Passion and Fulfillment

    6 Steps on the Path to Passion and Fulfillment

    “I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” ~Joseph Campbell

    There are seemingly small events in life that, in retrospect, turn out to be the catalyst for cataclysmic transformation. Such was the case for me when my oldest child left home to pursue her passion as a ballet dancer.

    Little did I know at the time that this event would lead me to a brand new passion, a new business, and a new life.

    My Life Passion Story

    Prior to my daughter leaving home, I’d spent the previous three years supporting her as she pursued her passion, driving her two sixty-mile round trips daily to train at her ballet studio. I often spent three hours a day in the car. I was also tending to my two younger children and attempting to maintain a public relations consultancy.

    A child leaving home isn’t really a small event, but in my case, it wasn’t as dramatic as it is for most parents. My daughter was away from home most of the day anyway between school and dance. And she spent six weeks away every summer at ballet programs. So her moving to another city did not feel so dramatic or unsettling in itself.

    But what it triggered in me was a tsunami of internal upheaval.

    As my daughter’s passion for ballet blossomed, I was happy to help her pursue her dream, and I accepted the sacrifices involved. Prior to this intense training period for her, I had an active public relations business in which I promoted my clients (actors, artists, designers, and business professionals) as they pursued their passions. But as my daughter’s training intensified, I had to cut back on my PR work.

    When she left home, and I no longer had to spend hours a day in my car, I suddenly had a huge chunk of time on my hands.

    You’d think regaining this time would have filled me with elation. But I remember standing in the middle of the house in despair, wondering who I was and what I was supposed to do.

    Between my PR career and supporting my daughter, I had spent years helping others come alive with their own passions. Suddenly, I realized I didn’t have one of my own. I felt directionless, uninspired, and totally lost.

    I tried to resurrect my PR business, but I had no joy in it. I so wanted to feel the enthusiasm and intensity that my daughter and my clients felt about their passionate pursuits. I wanted to feel alive again. At the time, I was in my late forties with a twenty-plus-year PR career under my belt but no other marketable skills (or so I thought).

    I had no idea what to do, but I knew I had two choices:

    • I could accept a boring, unsatisfying life
    • I could figure a way out of this internal upheaval and find something to ignite my passion

    I chose the latter. (more…)

  • Define Success to Create Success, Starting Now

    Define Success to Create Success, Starting Now

    “What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy, and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    Ahhh success! It sounds so good. We all want it, but are you brave enough to define what success means to you and go for it?

    Society conditions us to define success as being the best, attaining prosperity, making a lot money, or having a fancy CEO title.

    I thought I had “success” ten years ago where I spent five years working on Wall Street at Credit Suisse, an investment banking firm in New York City. I started as an associate on the Corporate Bond Sales desk and was promoted to a Vice President.

    I worked at the firm as a summer intern between my first and second years of business school and received a full-time offer. I remember being very hesitant about taking the job because I knew it wasn’t my passion, but I didn’t know what else I wanted to do.

    It was exciting when I first stepped on the trading desk—tons of energy, noise, and people sitting less than three feet away from me on both sides. In an unexpected way, the noise faded into the background and I became used to it.

    I enjoyed the job at first and how fast paced it was, but after a few years, I realized that I was not engaged on this path. I believed that there was something more for me.

    It was confusing because I had a good salary, good title, and a good life, but it wasn’t fulfilling.  Many thought I was “successful” by the traditional definition, but I did not feel like I was on my true path and making a difference.

    I stayed in finance for a while hoping my feelings about the role would change—they didn’t! Although I’m interested in the markets, I’m not passionate about them. I wanted to read personal development books in my free time, rather than Barron’s and Business Week.

    The truth was finance, although a great path for some, wasn’t my path. This took me a while to admit. It’s powerful to face the truth! The job was draining my energy, and after a few years, I wasn’t excited to start my day.

    Often the hardest thing to do is to walk away from something that is good for others but not great for you.

    When I was 40 years old, I made a tough decision to change my life and leave the finance world for real. I opted for a much more fulfilling life as a Business/Life Coach, Speaker, and Author. I had to take a step into the unknown and create another career and life that felt authentic.

    I love what I do now because I get to read and write about things that inspire me and help others make a difference in their life. I feel like I am making a positive contribution to the world and that makes me happy! (more…)

  • What You Need to Live a Life of Purpose

    What You Need to Live a Life of Purpose

    “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” ~Robin Sharma

    I can remember the feelings so vividly—the emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking, and the depression. They all merged together, and they always seemed to present themselves at the worst possible times.

    The simplest things, like getting out of bed in the morning, felt so heavy. The best joys in life, like being with family and creating new connections, felt unsatisfying. Things were  hard and almost unbearable.

    I didn’t understand what was creating these feelings, or what I needed to do to change them.

    It sounds like such a cliché to say that one day something happened that changed my life forever, but it did: Everything transformed for me when I decided to focus on creating purpose in my life.

    Life is a whole different experience when you understand what guides you.

    Let me shift gears with a question: Why did you come to Tiny Buddha today?

    If I asked Sigmund Freud why we do the things we do, he’d say that our behavior is motivated by sex and aggression. I believe that on a completely primal level, he’s right.

    In the 1960s, neuroscientist Paul MacLean invented the Triune Brain Model which says you have three parts to your brain:

    1. The reptilian (instinctual) part
    2. The mammalian (emotional) part
    3. The primate (thinking) part

    The reptilian and mammalian parts of your brain are very basic in nature. The reptilian handles things like aggression and territory. The mammalian handles things like food and sex. So far we’re right on track with Freud’s theory.

    But now we come to the third—thinking—primate part of your brain. This is the part that’s focused on things like perception, planning, and handling complex concepts. This is the part of your brain that knows deep, deep down, you need meaning in your life! (more…)

  • Discovering Your Purpose and Reaching Your Potential

    Discovering Your Purpose and Reaching Your Potential


    “There are two great days in a person’s life—the day we are born and the day we discover why.” ~William Barclay

    The word “capacity” has many definitions. It can be summarized as the maximum measure of innate potential and the ability to understand and demonstrate one’s optimal capability and power in a specified role.

    Ultimately, capacity is your gauge of purpose and potential. How much is in you? How much are you utilizing, and how much is untapped?

    The capacity of a storage item—how much it can hold—depends upon size, depth, sturdiness, adaptability, and intended purpose.

    These ideas are relevant to us in determining how we can fulfill the true longing of our hearts, continue to push the limits of our fears, and boldly meet our own capabilities for living well.

    Size is the expanse of our dreams and visions for our lives—the boundaries we see or do not. Depth is the infiniteness of our soul’s desires and our connection to something deeper.

    Sturdiness pertains to the strength of our resolution and integrity—the beliefs that sustain us in spite of everything. Adaptability is how willingly we are to follow our own paths and deal with uncharted territory.

    An intended purpose—that’s when we know without a doubt what we believe we were made to do. Then it’s not a matter of how, but rather how soon.  How soon will you wait to step into this perfect fit, this divine capacity? (more…)

  • In Defense of Wasting Time

    In Defense of Wasting Time

    “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” ~Socrates

    Last night, I was telling my husband that I had spent several hours teaching myself the very basics of HTML code in order to edit my blog’s layout precisely according to my vision for it.

    I had actually enjoyed the time I spent on this puzzle, but nevertheless commented to him that I couldn’t help but resent wasting some of my day off clicking away in front of the computer screen.

    “Why?” he asked. “You enjoyed it, right?”

    Yes, I replied, it was fun delve into something new, and fascinating to glimpse the buried inner workings of the virtual world, but still….

    “Right, so you spent some time in the flow, working on something and losing track of time, and now you know a little bit more about how the world works than you did before. How can that possibly be wasted time?”

    How true. I had wanted even my day off to be productively idle, to serve some function, even if that function was pure relaxation. But I actually felt more fulfilled by doing something new, something I never would have expected to become interested in.

    Not only did I have the idle time to delve into this, but I allowed myself to use that idle time in that particular way—to float off into exploration until before I knew it, I had been reading forums and scrolling through code for three hours.

    When I realized this, my first impulse was to think of it as something negative—wasted time! But was it really? (more…)

  • 8 Ideas for Stress-Free, Meaningful Holiday Gift Giving

    8 Ideas for Stress-Free, Meaningful Holiday Gift Giving

    “You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.” ~Unknown

    There’s something magical about this time of year, and it has nothing to do with the Santas posted like soldiers at various points throughout the globe or the million volts of electricity that light up Main Streets the world over.

    I’ve always loved Christmastime because the season inspires people to focus on everything that’s important in life.

    The usually harried slow down just a little to stop and smell the mistletoe, while humming along to redundant Christmas songs they secretly enjoy. Fighting relatives shelf their differences to share egg nog and brandy, bonding over the shared experience of wearing atrocious holiday sweaters from Christmas gifts past.

    I know holiday euphoria well. Since I always spend at least two weeks visiting my family around Christmas, the season packs double the punch—the infectious excitement of Yuletide energy and the joy that comes from sharing it with people I appreciate all the more for seeing them less.

    And then there’s the gift component. People may lament the commercialization of Christmas, but there’s something about it all that appeals to me. I love watching shoppers give to the Toys for Tots stand in the mall, recognizing just how many people do good things without needing recognition or reward.

    I also love the opportunity to mass-gift my family at a time when positive feelings are already heightened. Historically, I’ve devoted hours to plotting which gifts I’d give them, imagining how their eyes would light up when they opened them, like Ralphie’s teacher’s when she read his essay about wanting a Red Ryder BB gun.

    It might be the least meaningful part of the holiday season, but I’ve seen a lot of loving purpose among the humming shoppers scouring the shelves for people they love. Something about the fleeting magic of it all seems to make people more mindful; after all, the holidays come but once a year and they are, in fact, for giving.

    (more…)

  • Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

    Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

    “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

    I couldn’t drive, drink, vote, or stay out after nine, and yet I had two jobs.

    I started working just before I turned twelve. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew early on I’d need to work if I wanted to do fun things, like go to music camp.

    After school, I went to a program for kids where I led them in creative activities, like singing and arts and crafts. On the weekends, I ran the dozen counter at my family friends’ bagel shop.

    I haven’t stopped working since I was twelve, and at times I’ve held more than three jobs at once. To some extent, it’s because I’m resourceful and ambitious.

    But it’s partly because I’m one of those people who refuses to spend forty hours a week doing something I don’t love. So I end up spending sixty hours doing a combination of things, some I adore and some that allow me to do those other projects.

    I have a lot of friends who work jobs they loathe, some in corporate environments, some in retail, and others at start-up companies. Though the atmosphere and job descriptions vary, they all involve eight-plus hours a day, work that doesn’t satisfy them, and steady paychecks that justify it.

    When I chose to study writing and acting in college, I assumed it would all work out when I graduated—that I’d instantly make the right connections and fall into the perfect life.

    Once I was in the real world, my confidence started to falter. I felt overwhelmed when I realized I’d have to struggle, and I began talking myself out of my dreams. (more…)

  • 15 Ways to Change the World

    15 Ways to Change the World

    Heal the World

    “When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad and that is my religion.” ~Abraham Lincoln

    It’s no secret that we live in a world that’s obsessed with wealth, fame, and celebrities. Some call it the “age of narcissism.” I’m not sure I want to label or judge our current circumstances. Instead, like Gandhi suggests, I’ll put my focus on being the change I wish to see in the world.

    I’m planning to mix things up a bit for 2010, and I invite you to do the same. Instead of creating New Year’s Resolutions that are all about me, I’m going to make mine all about others. Instead of trying to increase my own success, I’m going to set others up to succeed.

    My personal idea was inspired by CNN’s “Hero of the Year 2009” given to one ordinary person making an extraordinary difference. CNN’s panel chose Efren Penaflorida as the winner for 2009. He received $100,000 for his organization. You can read about all 10 nominees here.

    Being an everyday hero does far more for you than you may imagine. Some benefits of volunteering include: (more…)