Tiny Buddha

Tag: meaning

  • New Year’s Tiny Wisdom Buy One Give One eBook Sale

    New Year’s Tiny Wisdom Buy One Give One eBook Sale

     

    To celebrate the New Year, I decided to run a second Tiny Wisdom eBook sale (as I previously did on my birthday in August).

    For today only, if you purchase the Tiny Wisdom eBook series (5 eBooks for $19.97), I will send a free set to a friend of your choice. (Weekly email subscribers, this offer is good for you today, Friday January 4th.)

    All you need to do is:

    • Order your set (by scrolling all the way down and clicking on “buy now” for the full set)
    • Forward your confirmation email to me at email(AT)tinybuddha(DOT)com
    • Include your friend’s name, email address, and any note you would like to include

    If you’ve already purchased the series and would like to take advantage of this offer, you can purchase another set today and I will send sets to two of your friends. Just follow the instructions above for both friends and note in the email that this is your second purchase.

    I will be away until tomorrow, so please note you will not receive a response from me, and your friend will not receive his or her set, until late afternoon on Tuesday, January 1st.

    The Tiny Wisdom eBook Series

    Earlier this year, I created 5 short eBooks with posts on the following topics:

    • Self-Love
    • Happiness
    • Mindfulness
    • Love
    • Pain

    They aren’t lengthy how-to posts with overwhelming lists of action steps. They’re short reflections on the little things that make a huge difference in our daily lives. They’re reminders of what matters and how to embrace it, right now, instead of focusing on all the things that only bring us down.

    They’re concise. They’re focused. Most importantly, they’re relevant to the challenges we all face every day.

    These eBooks are available individually or as a complete package. On it’s own, each eBook costs $4.97. The full package of five costs $19.97—which essentially means you get one free if you buy the whole series (and for today only, you receive a second set to send to a friend).

    Buy the Tiny Wisdom eBooks 

    Note: You can purchase the eBooks individually for $4.97 each, or scroll down to buy the whole series for $19.97. Today’s promotion is only for the full set. (more…)

  • Happiness Comes to Those Who Live Their Calling

    Happiness Comes to Those Who Live Their Calling

    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

    I was on tour with a famous rock legend, Joe Walsh from the mega-successful seventies band, The Eagles.

    We were riding around in one of those air brushed tour busses, living the party life and flying to exotic places. Staying in the finest hotels. Beautiful women hanging around the backstage door trying to get my attention.

    You would think this would be a dream come true, right?

    Here I was rubbing shoulders with people like Stevie Nicks, Willie Nelson, and The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and yet, I wasn’t happy. Not really.

    And you know what really sucks?

    When you’re so close to your dream you can almost reach out and touch it, but for some reason you can’t. Something is holding you back.

    You spend years working hard just to get next to it. You’re working right there in the area of your passion. But you aren’t actually living it.

    You’re helping someone else to live theirs.

    It feels like your face is pressed up against a glass wall. And there, just on the other side is the thing you’re really supposed to be doing.

    I was his sound engineer. But the dream was to be playing guitar up onstage with him.

    The band and crew were like family because we had done several tours together. Joe knew I rehearsed regularly with the band when he didn’t show up and that I knew the music cold.

    Even the guys in the band agreed it would sound better if I was playing the other guitar parts but it wasn’t their place to say.

    All I had to do was ask. But I couldn’t seem to get up the nerve. I just couldn’t get past the uncertainty of what might happen if I took the leap and got shot down.

    I was poised to jump but paralyzed by fear.

    I guess I was just hoping the other band members would put in the good word and do my bidding for me by asking to have a second guitar player.

    I was wrong.

    Nothing happened. The train kept a rolling with me still behind the soundboard. Still unhappy.

    I figured out in the silent weeks that followed that no one just hands you the keys to the highway. You have to ask for them.

    Finally, I arrived at the place where I could no longer stand by and accept my “close but no cigar” status. The idea that I would have to live with the consequences of not trying was simply too much to bear.

    So I decided to cast my fears and uncertainty to the wind and just ask Joe if I could play the gig.

    And then something very strange happened.

    I never got the chance. (more…)

  • Finding Your Special Thing: Connect with Your Passion

    Finding Your Special Thing: Connect with Your Passion

    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

    You know what it is; you’ve always known. Maybe it’s been just a shadow in the fog, or it’s crystal clear in amazing Technicolor before your eyes. Either way, it’s there, sometimes stinging you with a numb sense of denial, sometimes scratching at your skin like a bad case of poison sumac.

    It’s existed since the day you arrived on earth with a cry and a gasp.You knew it already when you were small, when you drew pictures with crayons and finger paint, when you learned what a ruler was and how to multiply by three. When you found out that nouns were followed by verbs and that seeds, planted right below the surface of the dirt and given water to drink, would sprout green just days later.

    You knew it then, and you know it now.

    So many things vie for your attention. Job, kids, house, yard. Family, friends, the blessed computer. But your special thing sits right under the veneer of frenetic busy me, counting the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds for you to finally take notice and accept its sacred presence.

    When you see someone else doing something that remotely resembles your special thing, you might react in a panic.“Wait. Her. She’s living my dream!!” But it’s not someone else living your dream that brings on the racing heartbeat; it’s that you are not living your dream yourself.

    Your special thing is your work. It’s your purpose. It’s the goodness that you produce from the center of your heart. You might already be doing it without completely realizing it. You’d do it without having to be paid for it but if you could make your living from it, what joy it would bring.

    When I first started to heed the call of my special thing, my husband and I were working as hard as we could, thinking there would never be another way, wondering how long it would take for us to just burn out and disappear.

    There was something in the distance, though, a chance thought. It was engulfed in mist at first, but emerged into the light as an opportunity.

    In a short span of time, my husband’s and my professional situations changed, and the possibility to buy an abandoned farm in Italy presented itself. We sprang on it, knowing it was the right thing to do at some deep level. (more…)

  • When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

    When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

    “Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both.” ~Horace Mann

    You’re destined for greatness. Don’t settle for mediocrity. You can be extraordinary.

    Have you ever heard one of these motivating statements? I see them all the time around the web, and while I understand the intention, I sometimes have mixed feelings about the implication.

    We all want to make a difference in the world. We all want to make some kind of impact, both to contribute to mankind and to feel that our lives mean something.

    It’s a great, big world out there, and at times it can feel like we don’t matter unless we’re doing something huge. We might even be tempted to label our lives as unworthy if we’re not doing something that garners attention and admiration.

    This was the foundation of my early interest in performing. It wasn’t just that I loved expressing myself creatively, though I did; I’ve always had a wellspring of emotion that craved some type of artistic outlet.

    It was more that I needed that feeling of standing above a crowd that was fixated on me. I desperately craved their approval and applause, their confirmation that I was a valuable person—that I was someone with talent.

    Talent made me special. It made me stand out. When I held a microphone or moved center stage, I felt good about me.

    But when the house lights came on at the end of the night, that feeling depended on whether or not I received verbal confirmation of my greatness. If another actor received more flowers or compliments, I feared that I wasn’t good enough.

    This, right here, is what I dislike about the implication we can and should strive for greatness—it seems to imply that where we are right now isn’t already great.

    And the race to be extraordinary, to me this just feeds into the type of thinking that suggests we need to stand out, to prove we’re somehow better than ordinary.

    Now I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t try to make an impact on the world, or that we should stifle our energy or efforts in order to play small. (more…)

  • Make Your Life a Mission Not an Intermission

    Make Your Life a Mission Not an Intermission

    “Make your life a mission, not an intermission.” ~Arnold H. Glasgow

    My eyes fluttered open. I could see the sunshine pouring through my rose-colored curtains. For a few golden seconds, there was quiet, there was peace. Then I remembered, “You have an audition today. Two hours away from where you live!”

    I spun around so quickly that I made myself into a human burrito stuck in my blankets. I grabbed my cell phone. Wow—I had woken up, naturally, two hours before I even had to leave for my audition.

    I wrestled with my blanket, and when I finally released myself from its all- encompassing grip, I thought, “Ha! First battle of the day won.”

    Grabbing my iPod, I picked the perfect song and started my morning stretches.

    This audition was my chance to start a new life—a dancing life, one where I was full-time living my dream. It was my chance to be accepted in a Masters program studying dance education.

    Here’s the thing though—let’s flash forward a few months.

    —

    “You are done. Thank you,” I said to group number 10 out of 20 Broadway hopefuls, coming to audition for a local production.

    I released them from the studio, their faces full of worry. I looked down at the list of auditionees, waiting for the next group to arrive, and tapped my pen in a quick, anxiety-ridden way.

    This was a part-time gig for me—auditioning young dancers, teaching them proper technique.

    I loved being able to work with children and pass dance education along, but having to keep my passion of teaching as a “part-time gig” always felt like rubbing sandpaper on sunburn for me.

    I constantly battled this lingering feeling that I wasn’t taking what I felt to be my calling very seriously.

    I stood up to walk across the room, and I just couldn’t anymore. With my back against the wall, I slid down, hands covering my face, tears rolling down my cheeks. How did I get there? (more…)

  • Tiny Wisdom Buy One Give One eBook Sale

    Tiny Wisdom Buy One Give One eBook Sale

     

    In case you didn’t just read my post 33 Things to Accept and Embrace, today (August 28th) is my 33rd birthday, so I decided to run a fun promotion as a way to celebrate.

    For today only, if you purchase the Tiny Wisdom eBook series (5 eBooks for $19.97), I will send a free set to a friend of your choice. Weekly email subscribers, this offer is valid for you on August 31st.

    All you need to do is order your set, forward your confirmation email to me at emailATtinybuddhaDOTcom, and include your friend’s name, email address, and any note you would like to include.

    If you’ve already purchased the series and would like to take advantage of this offer, you can purchase another set today and I will send sets to two of your friends. Just follow the instructions above for both friends and note in the email that this is your second purchase.

    I will be away until late tonight, so please note you will not receive a response from me (and your friend will not receive his or her set) until Wednesday.

    The Tiny Wisdom eBook Series

    Earlier this year, I created 5 short eBooks with posts on the following topics:

    • Self-Love
    • Happiness
    • Mindfulness
    • Love
    • Pain

    They aren’t lengthy how-to posts with overwhelming lists of action steps. They’re short reflections on the little things that make a huge difference in our daily lives. They’re reminders of what matters and how to embrace it, right now, instead of focusing on all the things that only bring us down.

    They’re concise. They’re focused. Most importantly, they’re relevant to the challenges we all face every day.

    These eBooks are available individually or as a complete package. On it’s own, each eBook costs $4.97. The full package of five costs $19.97—which essentially means you get one free if you buy the whole series (and for today only, you receive a second set to send to a friend).

    Buy the Tiny Wisdom eBooks 

    Note: You can purchase the eBooks individually for $4.97 each, or scroll down to buy the whole series for $19.97. Today’s promotion is only for the full set. (more…)

  • 7 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Today

    7 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Today

    “What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

    During the first week of July 2012, a storm left my little town and nearly one million other people in the Mid-Atlantic Region without electricity. The outage lasted eight days for Buffalo, Ohio, and we saw triple digits (F) each day.

    I spent much of my free time in a hammock practicing my watching skills. I watched as I breathed in. I watched as I breathed out.

    I watched thoughts pop up out of nowhere as I watched the leaves of two young oak trees dance in the hot, humid July breeze.

    I think that week here in Ohio was as impactful as the 10-day Thich Nhat Hanh Retreat I experienced in October 2011.

    It’s amazing to me the amount of perspective one can gain in such a short period of time. 

    The day the electricity was restored I decided to limit myself to just a few minutes on the Internet, which turned into an hour. I then returned to my hammock to watch my breath and my thoughts.

    I wanted to make sure I understood the lessons of that week, and most of all I wanted to take with me the peace of mind I had rediscovered.

    So, there I was—under those two trees listening to birds chirp in the absence of gas generators and watching my thoughts.

    I brought with me a pen, a legal pad, and a few questions I thought would be helpful to answer before I plugged back in and continued to do what I do.

    Question 1: What Brings Meaning to Your Experience?

    As I asked this question to my “self,” I started to realize that my focus has been all over the place.

    I have a long list of goals. I spent most of my life goofing off, and never thought I could do much of anything. Since I realized that I can do whatever I decide, setting and achieving goals has been fun for me.  (more…)

  • Finding Meaning in Tragedy and Moving on Stronger

    Finding Meaning in Tragedy and Moving on Stronger

    “Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    I’ve experienced a unique situation that has taught me a surprising lesson about the scope of the human races’ ability to choose love over hate, understanding over anger, and belief over fear.

    I’d rather not have to tell a story like this, and my wish is that no one would ever have to learn lessons from an experience such as this. You see, my husband’s mother passed away just at the end of June.

    But she didn’t just die of old age, or a sickness; she was only 61. She was washing her car in her own driveway and was forced into that car and taken. She was a victim of a violent crime; an unthinkable thing that you only hear about on the news.

    The man that did this has been arrested, ending a nine-day violent rampage affecting many women and their families. Those families, including ours, await the long road ahead that comes with this type of devastation: evidence collection, investigation, trial, and sentencing.

    Taking Steps in the Right Direction

    My husband and I took his 79-year-old grandmother, his mother’s mother, and flew to where his parents and sisters live.

    We were able to be with his father and sisters during this time, and we were able to be there for the beautiful funeral and memorial service. Many friends gathered around the family, as there are no blood-relatives in that area.

    His mother and father are private people, so it was a small and intimate gathering, but much love was shared, and many friends came to the service.

    I had expected there to be outrage, anger, disgust, even hatred for the man who did this, and possibly even for those of his same race, by some.

    I witnessed none of those things. There was, of course, shock. There was sadness, remorse, and perhaps some initial anger.

    I can’t sit here and say I know every emotion that went through each and every person. But I did not encounter outward aggression. I felt only love; a loving presence of unity and togetherness. (more…)

  • Simple Reminders to Focus on What Matters in Life

    Simple Reminders to Focus on What Matters in Life

    “Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski

    As tough as it sometimes feels, change and loss are woven into life. We cannot live a full life without them.

    Although both can be painful, they push us into a greater understanding of what matters in life, and they can help us become clearer about who we are since they provide a platform for substantial growth.

    Over the past couple of years I’ve experienced many changes as I’ve transitioned from one chapter to the next. The one constant through all of that change has been my right hand man, my best friend: my dog Tucker.

    My 80-pound golden retriever buddy came to me at the darkest period of my life. I adopted him when I was suffocating in a deep depression, and he became my earth angel that helped pull me out.

    He has been by my side through all the failed romantic relationships, horrible bosses, and seemingly wrong turns in life. Through all the chaos he’s calmed me down and kept me grounded.

    After a series of layoffs, a break up, and overcoming drug and food addictions, I thought everything would be fine because Tucker and I had made it through the darkness—until a couple weeks ago, when a veterinarian found a tumor in his nose attached to his brain. The likelihood of it being cancerous was extremely high.

    Although Tucker is sick, we still have time together. Through this experience, I’ve learned a lot about what matters in life.

    Here are some of the top lessons I’ve learned from Tucker:

    Make Your Time Count

    I spent so much time trying to be somewhere else—in another job, another relationship, another place. In my effortless pursuit to get to the greener grass, I was missing life. It wasn’t until my best friend was diagnosed with a life threatening disease that I saw the grass I’m standing on just needs a little water.

    I realize now that I have been sleepwalking through life. I was awake but always looking ahead to feel fulfillment. I couldn’t be happy with where I was, whether it was with boyfriends, my job, or where I choose to live. (more…)

  • A Letter from Your Calling

    A Letter from Your Calling

    “Every calling is great when greatly pursued.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

    It’s me. The one who keeps talking to you about that thing. That project. That possibility.

    I know you think you couldn’t be the one for the job, but honestly, if you weren’t the one for the job, I wouldn’t have come to you with it.

    I wouldn’t have come knocking at the door of your mind. I wouldn’t have come into your dreams, into your imagination, into your heart.

    I wouldn’t have made it so compelling to think about me.

    I wouldn’t have planted in you the frustration with what is.

    I wouldn’t have planted in you the vision of what could be.

    You say you want more meaning, more adventure, and to have a greater impact.

    I’m offering you all of that, but you keep telling me I’m silly, unrealistic, too big, when here I am, ready to give you the greatest adventure of your life.

    I don’t take it personally, but I do weep about it.

    I weep for the joy you are missing out on. I weep because you aren’t getting to witness your immense strength and brilliance. I weep for what the world is missing out on too.

    When I took this job, they told me much of it would be waiting. Waiting on you.

    I want to make sure you know, I’m here, close as breath, waiting. I’m waiting for you to say yes.

    We can do this. Together, we can do this thing.

    It’s true, part of my job is creating challenges and dark moments along the way—but only enough of them to teach you the most beautiful lessons you’ll ever learn.

    I need you. Your hands. Your heart. Your mind. Your circumstances. Your strengths. Your weaknesses. Your wounds. Your wit. Your tale.

    I need you, just as you are.

    Say yes?

    Love,

    Your Calling

    Photo by Ben Fredericson

  • Why We Need to Keep Growing: Lessons from Firewalking

    Why We Need to Keep Growing: Lessons from Firewalking

    “Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

    I recently ran across a chat site called “Why Grow Up?” Their tagline reads:

    “Why Grow Up? Why be responsible? Why act mature?

    Why play by rules? Why eat healthy? Why sleep early?

    Why become a doctor? Why this? WHY ME? WHY WHY WHY?”

    I laughed aloud when I read that remembering something I had said 18 years ago to my husband, Jake: “I just want to retire and garden.”

    I was tired of pressuring myself to keep a business going. I was tired of doing anything that did not fit my ideal of just living out the rest of my life in peace with him, our pets, a lovely garden, working with wildlife rescue, and frequent walks in nature.

    Why Grow?

    This was something of a turning point in our lives. I wanted to withdraw and Jake wanted to grow—to create something meaningful, together—and he was concerned that if he continued to grow, and I didn’t, he would grow beyond me and then we would grow apart. But I was tired.

    Hadn’t I already done a lot of personal work in the years before? Weren’t my past many years of meditation retreats and remarkably good psychotherapy enough? Couldn’t I just rest on my laurels?

    To be more honest, in addition to feeling tired, I think I was afraid. I was afraid of pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, letting go of the safe, familiar shore I was clinging to. What helped me get over my fear and woke up my curiosity was a ten-year-old girl who I met at a firewalk.

    Yes, of all things, a firewalk! And in anticipation of the firewalk I did not sleep much for a week. I had fantasies of lying on the couch with my burned feet in the air, bandaged, in unbearable pain, as my friends visited me to tell me how stupid I had been to even try such a thing.

    But finally the event arrived, and as they were preparing the fire, I met this little 10-year old girl who said: “There is nothing to be afraid of.” She said she had done this many times, in her (little) life.  She said, in fact, she was prone to going over the fire numerous times during each event.  (more…)

  • What You Do Matters

    What You Do Matters

    “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    I used to refer to myself as a white crayon in the coloring box of life.

    Have you ever wondered what purpose a white crayon serves? There are all of these other beautiful colors to be put to good use, but the white crayon just kind of sits there and tends to get overlooked.

    That’s exactly how I felt. I felt like I was just merely existing and not serving any kind of purpose. And at the time, I sort of wasn’t.

    I wasn’t doing anything except coming up with demeaning nicknames for myself, and trying to swallow the fact that I might never be of any importance in the world. I honestly felt like I didn’t matter at all.

    I thought that in order to feel like I really mattered or that I was doing something worthy enough, I had to be doing something big—something that everyone noticed and applauded me for.

    We live in a society where the little things we do often get overlooked and it has a way of making us believe that those things don’t matter.

    They do.

    Compassion, understanding, small acts of kindness, or a willingness to simply reach out to others in any way can all make a huge difference.

    I want to share a few real life examples of little things making a big difference, including my own story in which I realized this fact.    (more…)

  • The World Needs You to Follow Your Inspiration

    The World Needs You to Follow Your Inspiration

    “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

    As I left the San Francisco head office of the clothing company I worked for, I felt anxious and scared. I knew, in the depth of my heart and soul, that I did not belong there and that I needed to do something about it.

    Up until a year before then, I had thought I did. But then I met this new friend who was a very spiritual person. He talked to me about things like universal mind, energy, a new era, and the importance of finding your dharma—your true vocation, which starts to be revealed once you start listening to, and following, your deepest inspiration.

    It all touched a deep chord in me. Since that day I started following my thread of inspiration and searched and read everything I could find about the psyche, how we are affected by colors and shapes, and about symbols and esoteric teachings. I felt like I already knew all of it, and that I had finally found my way home.

    My friends and colleagues didn’t understand the depth of the transformation I was going through. I felt misunderstood and very lonely.

    But at the same time I was happier than I had been in a very long time. I felt connected to my true Self. I was truly inspired and felt like I had a special job to do in the world of clothes: I was to find new ways of designing and using clothes, built on feminine principles and a different set of values than those of our modern culture.

    As the head designer for the Scandinavian branch of a multinational clothing company I earned quite a lot of money. I also led what many would consider a very glamorous lifestyle, with lots of traveling and meetings with interesting people.

    But did it make me happy? Was there room for me to grow and develop in new ways?

    No. Absolutely not. As a professional designer it was my job to focus on contemporary clothes, on what our costumers would want the next season. Looking further into the future was not an option. (more…)

  • Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

    Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

    “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” – Charles R. Swindoll

    For twenty-something me, a college drop-out utterly overwhelmed with choice and bewildered by unemployment, it can easily feel like a void of nothingness, so black and dense there is little point in considering a future beyond it.

    I see friends studying Economics, English, and Engineering. They’ve joined their circus, and I haven’t even started yet. I’m behind, I’ll never catch-up; I’ll be the kid that got held up.

    College has structure, solidity, a process, respect, certification, and a certain standing. Without it I’m a light-weight who dropped out and couldn’t handle it. I’m fit to flip burgers and shut up.

    Or, maybe it’s okay to try a different method of travel for the time being.

    Feeling a thousand times behind, like I wasted time—this is the feeling that mired me in a rut. Falling into the rut is different for all of us, but how we get out? Not so different.

    When we imagine the worst possible outcome for our choices, this creates that pit-in-the-stomach feeling, which then cycles in our head, until suddenly it seems like our whole world is falling apart.

    I’m sure there are many people out there like me, maybe of a different age, feeling stuck, confused, nervous, anxious, and not just lost but somehow behind.

    I was stuck dwelling on everything I thought I did wrong, when it occurred to me that I couldn’t find any solutions until I cleared my head. Only when I stop obsessing and over-analyzing can I think clearly and make decisions I can trust.

    So I did that, and started to find my way out of this rut. Here is what I learned: (more…)

  • When You’ve Lost Your Sense of Purpose

    When You’ve Lost Your Sense of Purpose

     “Tell me, what is it you plan to do/ with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver

    I was always the child with armfuls of books and big dreams. I wanted to be a writer. When the limit at the local library was six books, I borrowed all six, and then talked my sister into letting me borrow some of her weekly ration.

    While I had many friends, most lived several minutes away, and public transportation wasn’t available. When I couldn’t arrange a sleepover, my sibling and my books were ever at the ready to play school.

    My parents were not academics, but they heartily encouraged my own goals, which always included a clear objective: college. Step-by-step, from AP English courses, SAT preparation, catalogue perusing, and campus visits to placement testing, that long-held goal became a reality.

    My life burgeoned with canvas backpacks of Brit lit, philosophy, and cultural anthropology texts; club meetings; and hours hunkered in the campus newspaper office, ordering pizza at 10pm and pulling all-nighters with fellow staff writers to make morning deadlines.

    While I knew upon graduation that I would ultimately go back to school for a masters, first I’d chip away at student loans and work first jobs for the resume notches. As one year post-graduation stretched into four, then five, the time had arrived for my return to backpacks, midnight study sessions, and heady discussions unraveling literary criticism.

    So I brushed up with a borrowed GRE workbook, made campus visits, and applied to my favorite. I was going back to school! 

    Grad school proved to be an extension of my childhood dream—hanging out at the university watering-hole discussing line edits and narrative structure, and drafting my thesis manuscript before the hopes of agent shopping.

    This time, I had become that writer with not one diploma but now two for my wall! Never mind that I had little practical notion of what followed, beyond another day and a student loan.

    The years since walking across that stage to the cheers of fellow literary friends and family have proven a challenge intellectually and spiritually. There have been times I’ve felt unmoored.

    How, I’ve frequently wondered, can I make this life worthwhile without the focus of school, where I’ve always fit in best? What will motivate me now—workaday Mondays and my five-figure debt balance? Hardly.

    How can I lead a life of fulfillment again when many days feel without a center or a greater purpose?

    Maybe you can relate to feeling a loss of purpose, and it doesn’t have to be the end of school. It might be that you’ve just lost a job, or your children might have just left home for college and you’re unsure how to proceed with your newfound empty nest.  Or maybe you’ve earned the promotion you’ve worked toward for years, and keep wondering how you’re going to top that success.  (more…)

  • 4 Treasures to Leave Behind

    4 Treasures to Leave Behind

    “Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” ~Buddha

    As children, we were all fascinated by our own treasure hunts. We sought the gold at the end of the rainbow. We dreamed of sailing the seas looking for Treasure Island. We pretended to navigate ancient lands looking for the spot marked “X”.

    Growing up in my family, my treasures were little feel-good events that made me smile. I longed for play time so I could climb trees and catch spiders. I looked for friends who could play with me all night long. I loved visiting our local bookshops to scour the shelves for books I’d enjoy.

    As I grew older, I stopped seeking treasures. A life of routine and common dreams had descended on me. It was no longer seeking Treasure Island or the spot marked “X” but rather the acceptable haves of my generation. In my country it was known as the 5 Cs—cash, credit card, car, condominium, and country club membership.

    When I started looking deeper, I asked, “Is that really all there is?” Was life all about acquiring things? It just didn’t feel meaningful.

    I began to look for the real treasures in life, and started thinking about the kind of legacy I wanted to leave behind.

    4 Treasures to Leave Behind

    I have discovered that the real treasures in life have nothing to do with status and everything to do with leading fulfilling lives and sharing them with people. We can’t take anything with us, but we can leave these behind for our loved ones, both to remember us and to help and inspire them: (more…)

  • The Real Measure of Your Wealth

    The Real Measure of Your Wealth

    “The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

    A wonderful story from the yogic tradition highlighting the true meaning of wealth goes something like this:

    There was once a beggar who spent his days sitting under an old banyan tree on the side of a dusty road that led to a bustling town. The man had been begging in that spot for years, rattling an old tin can hoping that passers-by would feel compassion and offer alms.

    Yet, at the end of each day he would only have collected one or two rupees, barely enough to buy a dry chapati and a cup of sweet chai.

    One day a wise man approached. Witnessing the beggar’s plight he called out, “My man, why are you wasting your days begging in this way? If you dig right where you are, you will discover great treasure!”

    Desperate about his impoverished situation and intrigued by this idea, the beggar decided to take the wise man’s advice. Using his bare hands he began digging the earth under where he had been sitting.

    To his utter amazement the beggar discovered a huge bag of rare, gold coins.

    Dancing with joy he declared, “Had I realized I was sitting on top of great wealth I could have eased my suffering years ago!” 

    I was once like the beggar, always seeking ways to fill the empty bowl of my perceived lack, believing that if I worked and saved hard enough I would ensure financial security. However, on October 6th 2008, the bubble of that illusion burst when my husband and I discovered our bank had dramatically collapsed.

    Suddenly finding myself looking into the grim face of my worst possible fear, I knew I had to change my understanding of what the energy of money represented and discover the source of true wealth.

    As a young adult, I had inherited a strong work ethic from my father along with a subconscious belief that money was “hard to come by.” As a consequence, I had become terrified of lack and even more terrified of loss. (more…)

  • Define Success to Create Success, Starting Now

    Define Success to Create Success, Starting Now

    “What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy, and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    Ahhh success! It sounds so good. We all want it, but are you brave enough to define what success means to you and go for it?

    Society conditions us to define success as being the best, attaining prosperity, making a lot money, or having a fancy CEO title.

    I thought I had “success” ten years ago where I spent five years working on Wall Street at Credit Suisse, an investment banking firm in New York City. I started as an associate on the Corporate Bond Sales desk and was promoted to a Vice President.

    I worked at the firm as a summer intern between my first and second years of business school and received a full-time offer. I remember being very hesitant about taking the job because I knew it wasn’t my passion, but I didn’t know what else I wanted to do.

    It was exciting when I first stepped on the trading desk—tons of energy, noise, and people sitting less than three feet away from me on both sides. In an unexpected way, the noise faded into the background and I became used to it.

    I enjoyed the job at first and how fast paced it was, but after a few years, I realized that I was not engaged on this path. I believed that there was something more for me.

    It was confusing because I had a good salary, good title, and a good life, but it wasn’t fulfilling.  Many thought I was “successful” by the traditional definition, but I did not feel like I was on my true path and making a difference.

    I stayed in finance for a while hoping my feelings about the role would change—they didn’t! Although I’m interested in the markets, I’m not passionate about them. I wanted to read personal development books in my free time, rather than Barron’s and Business Week.

    The truth was finance, although a great path for some, wasn’t my path. This took me a while to admit. It’s powerful to face the truth! The job was draining my energy, and after a few years, I wasn’t excited to start my day.

    Often the hardest thing to do is to walk away from something that is good for others but not great for you.

    When I was 40 years old, I made a tough decision to change my life and leave the finance world for real. I opted for a much more fulfilling life as a Business/Life Coach, Speaker, and Author. I had to take a step into the unknown and create another career and life that felt authentic.

    I love what I do now because I get to read and write about things that inspire me and help others make a difference in their life. I feel like I am making a positive contribution to the world and that makes me happy! (more…)

  • How to Achieve Unexpected Success

    How to Achieve Unexpected Success

    “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” ~Henry David Thoreau

    Success.

    A word defined by you and me.

    Do not be manipulated by the definitions applied to that word by others. Choose your own definition.

    Though I believe we all have the potential to succeed in reaching our dreams, I have found that success reaches to a far greater depth in our lives.

    Whenever I hug my wife of 28 years and tell her that I love her, and she responds in the same manner—there is my success.

    Whenever I receive a random text or email from one of my children saying that they love me—there is my success.

    When I write something I feel passionate and excited about— even before anyone else has read it—there is my success.

    When I present a product or a service to a potential customer in the most professional manner I can possibly muster—there is success.

    But as my dear old friend Henry David Thoreau writes, there are four elements that assist us in pursuing the lives we dream about.

    1. Have a dream.

    To discover your dream, ask yourself these questions: (more…)

  • How to Move through Shame, Fear, and Regret

    How to Move through Shame, Fear, and Regret

    “If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” ~Julia Soul

    The moment comes when you are on your knees.

    You are filled with a knowing that there is something better. There is a life for you that you are not living, and you are ready to live it.

    I call this the moment of awakening—the moment when you hear your soul’s cry for the next step in its evolution. You are ready to live your fullest expression.

    Anais Nin said it best, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

    For me, this looked like a crazy, dysfunctional relationship with food and the feeling that I was spiraling out of control. I was literally stuffing down my truest, most authentic self, and I felt lost and off my path. I was filled with a pain that I didn’t understand that I realized came from the void of not living my purpose.

    A whisper that I had been ignoring for far too long finally spoke a little louder and said, “You are here for more than this.” It came as a feeling and awareness all throughout my body.

    For you, it may feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle, one that keeps you from feeling whole and fulfilled. It’s a sense that something is missing, and you are ready to break free. You realize that your deepest desire is to improve your life and fill that greater vision for yourself.

    Often this feeling comes with a sense of determination, which can quickly turn into paralysis and feelings of:

    • Fear of the unknown and of judgment
    • Shame for where you’re at and for needing help
    • Regret of your past choices

    These feelings are natural and normal, and there is absolutely no reason to let them stop you. (more…)