Tiny Buddha

Tag: let go

  • 6 Tips to Deal When You Feel Out of Control: When Your World Gets All Shook Up

    6 Tips to Deal When You Feel Out of Control: When Your World Gets All Shook Up

    Out of Control

    “Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~Unknown

    I celebrated an anniversary recently. It was the night I experienced my first, and hopefully last, earthquake.

    My husband and I had retired for the evening as usual—said our goodnights and went to sleep. I was jarred awake at 2:30 AM by him trying to pull me from our bed. At the same moment I heard the most deafening roar. Could a freight train be barrelling through our loft?

    Our attempts to escape the upper level were hampered by the violent shaking. As we stepped forward we were propelled side-to-side. We were being tossed like rag-dolls as we scrambled down the stairs, only to be greeted by the sound of glass objects smashing from below.

    Skirting around the shards of broken stemware, we fumbled with the house keys and made our escape to the front porch. The same instant that we arrived outside, the 7.3 earthquake stopped as abruptly as it had started.

    We were fortunate that our home did not collapse on top of us, that in our community there was no loss of life, and the tsunami that we were warned about never materialized.

    Although we were lucky and it only lasted sixty seconds, I put earthquakes at the top of my list of things I never want to experience again.

    So why celebrate the anniversary of such an event? (more…)

  • How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully

    How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully

    “The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Nine years ago my heart was in a million little pieces that formed the basis for a million regrets.

    I had my first serious relationship in college, when all my insecurities came to a head. My ex-boyfriend had to juggle multiple roles, from therapist to cheerleader to babysitter.

    The whole relationship revolved around holding me up. I realized this soon after it ended—that I’d spent three years expecting someone else to love me when I didn’t love myself. The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade.

    I dated, but it was always casual. I’d start getting close to someone and then find a way to sabotage it.

    Long after I let go of the man, feelings about the relationship held me back. I was afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid of being hurt. But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that.

    If you’ve been holding onto an old relationship, now is the perfect time to let go. Here’s how you can start moving on. (more…)

  • How to Let Go of the Past So It Won’t Anchor You Down

    How to Let Go of the Past So It Won’t Anchor You Down

    “A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

    Let’s face it, we all dwell on the past from time to time. That’s okay—we’re human beings with emotions. As we live life and experience it to its fullest, it’s only natural that we sometimes cling onto what once was.

    But when our desire to cling to the past affects our future, we begin a potentially unhealthy and seemingly endless battle with anchors that can hold us down and sink us.

    For the past six years I’ve dreaded spring. While many would embrace the rain, the newborn green, and the post-winter renaissance, I’d plead with the powers that be to skip past March and April.

    For me, spring is a brutal reminder of a series of unfortunate events. I experienced two subsequent losses that made me think I had to be miserable.

    I carried this burden with me, letting it anchor me down, which made certain locations, dates, and possibilities “off limits.” I dreaded every arrival of spring, afraid that my emotions would spin out of control because of these anchors.

    Sometimes they did, but it took me a while to realize it was because I let them.

    Whether you’ve experienced a breakup, a tragic death, or a streak of bad luck, certain people, places, and things probably anchor you to the past. These tips may help you let go and move forward. (more…)

  • 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain

    40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain

    “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

    Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

    We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.

    Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes.

    There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are some ways to get started: (more…)