Tag: laugh
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5 Ways to Find Peace: Life Lessons from an 8th Grade Teacher
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good Morning, and welcome to 8th grade History with Mr. Bacchus. The first thing I need everyone to do is to take out your class schedule and make sure that it says Mr. Bacchus for this period. Is there anyone who doesn’t have my name on their schedule?
No? We sure? Great!!
Now I need each one of you to take a moment and thank whoever you believe in, the powers that be, or even the magic genie that granted you this wish, because you’re one of the few lucky enough to be in my history class this year.
Why lucky?
Because there is going to be a day when you don’t feel like getting out of the bed, but you will remember that you have Mr. Bacchus today and you will be up before the alarm goes off.
One day, your boyfriend or girlfriend will break up with you in the middle of the hallway, and the news will quickly spread via social networking. But when your friend asks you if you’re okay, you’ll simply smile and say,
“I have Mr. Bacchus today.”
I couldn’t make this up if I tried. A student fell in gym class and broke his leg one year. It was an awful injury, and he was seriously hurt but refused to go to the hospital. He said it wasn’t that bad. He had Mr. Bacchus next period.
This has become my first-day-of-school opening monologue as an 8th grade teacher. It’s a nice way to break the ice. I say these words with a sense of confidence. A sense of purpose and joy comes over me the second I begin this inaugural address to my students.
And it lasts throughout the school year.
My class has often felt like a beautiful symphony (and I was the highly acclaimed maestro), but in the midst of my father falling back into addiction and my ex-girlfriend moving across the country with her new fiancé, it seemed as if I couldn’t play chopsticks in my personal life.
My father has always struggled with addiction, but this was the first time I had to face it as an adult. This time around I knew exactly why he wasn’t answering my calls, why he was asking to borrow money, and why he was nowhere to be found for weeks at a time.
Likewise, it wasn’t the first time my ex and I had called it quits either. But somehow the news of her impending move across the country with her new boyfriend—two months after our most recent breakup—had a sense of finality to it. The curtain was officially closed once I got word of their engagement.
So I began going to counseling in hopes of finding my way, and one day my counselor asked me if I could “live like I teach.” Could I take some of the things that allow me to be at peace while teaching and apply them to my life?
This is what I came up with.
1. Be yourself.
As a new teacher, you’re told not to crack a smile and to be extremely strict at the beginning of the school year. This will help you “set the tone” for the school year and show your students who is “the boss.”
The problem is that I smile all the time!
So as I tried to fight my smile with the students, they often fought against me. Whether it was Ashley throwing pencils at me or Shailia composing an essay titled “Mr. Bacchus, the Worst Teacher Ever,” my students weren’t responding well to the person I was trying to be.
Once I finally gave up that lousy advice and started smiling, joking, and being myself from the beginning, my relationships with my students began to improve.
It was a light bulb moment. Improving my relationship with my students made me realize that I have to be my genuine self in real life too. I can’t be who I think I’m supposed to be—I have to just be me.
2. Don’t hold too tightly to plans.
The projector isn’t working.
The video won’t load!
The copier is down!!
FIRE!!!!
These things can happen at any given moment, and the best laid lesson plans need to be adjusted. I plan every week but know that it’s just a blueprint of how I would like things to go.
Once you arrive to school and realize the wifi isn’t working, you have two choices: You could continue forward with your lesson hoping the wifi genie magically shows up and the website you were going to use will somehow work, or you can change your plans.
Learning to be fluid with my plans allows my classroom to flow with a certain ease. If I want that same ease in my personal life, then I have to understand that the Universe has a way of turning our plans upside down too. I need to be able to adapt and adjust just like I do when little Johnny throws up in the middle of the classroom during third period.
3. Don’t get stuck on the negative.
I planned what I believed would be an awesome lesson incorporating a Nas rap song into our coverage of Ancient African Empires.
As I could barely contain my excitement, one of my students couldn’t seem to care less. He made unrelated comments, disturbed others, and left me feeling like the lesson was a complete failure.
Later that afternoon, a group of students were leaving the school singing the song I used in the lesson. I inquired about the song choice, and they said how much they enjoyed it and thought it was cool how I tied it in.
Here I was basing my perspective on one person while ignoring the reactions of the other thirty students in my classroom. How often in life do we only focus on the negative aspect and fail to notice the good all around us?
We can always find the bad in our life experiences, or we can choose to find the good. I try and find the good every day. The entries in my daily gratitude log help me to focus on the daily good, like the students that remembered the song, not the one who didn’t.
4. Each day is new.
My first two years of teaching inundated my life with stories about something one of my students did, said, etc. I couldn’t wait to run and tell family and friends about my adventures as a teacher.
As time passed, those stories became less and less unique, and I found myself looking at the days and the students as the same old blur. I had seen it all. The students, lessons, and days were starting to become a haze of gray.
My friends and family would ask for new stories, and I had nothing. “It’s going” became my simple response to the question “How is teaching?”
The reality is that each year I get different students, who will do different things, during each day of the year, every period of the day.
I have to be aware of how much beauty and joy lies in that variety and appreciate the newness of it all, or else I will become like so many teachers who have lost their excitement for what they do.
I try my best to see the newness of each student and each class every day because I don’t want to lose my passion for teaching.
I also don’t want to lose my passion for life. I’m now starting to see that I have to find the newness of each moment in each day so that “it’s going” doesn’t become my answer to “How’s life?”
5. It’s okay to laugh.
Theodore Roosevelt set up the National Park System so that he could conserve the National Booty of America. Yeah, you read that right. I said National Booty instead of National Beauty. The kids laughed hysterically and I cracked up laughing too.
The truth is, school is funny.
There are too many moments that deserve a good laugh during the course of a school day. I can deny it or I can let out one of the few things guaranteed to increase my mood. I have chosen to increase my health and vitality by laughing in school.
And also in life. Because just like the classroom, there are so many funny things to laugh at in this world! To deny laughter would be to deny one of the basic parts of pleasures in life.
Three years ago I was blessed to receive the “Teacher as a Hero” award from the National Liberty Museum. I would have never thought the things that made me a “Teacher as a Hero” award winner would also help me to emerge from one of the toughest times in my life a better person.
All I had to do was start living like I teach.
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40 Ways To Live, Laugh, And Love Like A Child
“Children see magic because they look for it.” ~Christopher Moore
Adulthood? No thanks!
All too often, being grown up is the pits.
It can leave you drowning in responsibility, suffocating from anxiety, and sinking with doubts about your ability to be all that you should.
Frazzled, you fall into bed to fortify yourself for tomorrow’s craziness. Then you lie awake fretting over your lack of action you regret, scary debt, and all the targets you haven’t met.
Life’s supposed journey has left you dreading where you’re heading.
What the hell happened?
Somewhere between making daisy chains and making money, life’s magic became a disappointing sideshow. Somehow, your everyday blue sky turned a disconcerting gray.
Rediscover Your Sunshine
Children are sunshine, sunshine on little legs.
Because sunshine is all they see.
They have no concept of worrying about the future and living up to responsibilities or overwhelming to-do lists. They feel no embarrassment in falling over, getting it wrong, or showing anyone exactly how they feel.
Every day brings discoveries, wonder, and excitement. Every day is new.
They’re always way too caught up in the fun to even think about the consequences. They laugh with every inch of their bodies until they hurt, and they still keep laughing.
There’s a word that sums up all of these characteristics …carefree.
Ah! That’s an incredible state to be in.
Imagine brimming with blissful expectation rather than a million worries. Being pleased with everything you’ve said and done instead of regretting forever. And swapping fear of what the day might bring to being too excited to wait and see.
Oh boy, we can learn a huge lesson from our mini experts on life. I certainly have.
Luckily, years ago my career path took a convoluted turn, and I ended up being surrounded by happy innocence while immersed in the whirlwind of teaching children.
Right from the start, my wagon load of worries felt an extra heavy burden amid their light, lively atmosphere. All my long-standing hang-ups stood out as making life unbelievably difficult among their unrestricted actions. And my critical inner voice sounded super mean around their enthusiasm over the slightest achievement.
But I desperately wanted to be one of their gang, so I resolved to emulate my young friends.
I decided to rediscover my silly, consequence-free side, to unlock my optimism, to question everything and see responsibility as nothing more than fun tasks I’d chosen to accept.
I worked with my little sunshines on legs nine to five every day, but it no longer felt like work.
They made every task bright, fun, and interesting . . . and chaotic. Their infectious excitement and belief in good things pervaded my every working day. Their unconscious behavior and easy emotions filled my every weekday thought.
I owe those little smiley faces a heck of a lot! Being surrounded by children for years made me feel years younger.
You don’t need to be childish to be childlike. You can find happiness in everyday routine.
I’d love for you to have carefree times too. To breathe. To dance. To laugh so hard that you physically shake.
How can you take the first step toward feeling that free? With one small, child-like action at a time. Run with the ideas below that jump out at you. Skip into some more when you’re ready.
Re-discover your sunshine…
How to Live, Laugh and Love Like a Child
1. Belly laugh at your own jokes.
Give your happiness a double boost by delighting in your own unique sense of humor.
2. Hop, skip, and run.
Instantly halt worry with the enjoyable distraction of moving your body in fun ways.
3. Believe you have super powers.
Call on your amazing inner store of talent, knowledge, and intuition to feel superhero invincible and stay blissfully upbeat no matter what the day throws your way. “All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne
4. Giggle with friends.
Build heart-warming, life-long relationships and a treasure of great memories with fun, giggle-making get-togethers.
5. Ride a chariot.
Whiz along on a shopping cart or anything with wheels for a gleeful ride that will blow any earnest thoughts from your mind.
6. Holler, “Me! Me! Me!”
Trust good things will happen, and put your hand up for every opportunity that comes your way.
7. Jump into the circle.
Join in with any fabulous fun around you without waiting to be asked. You’re bound to form some great new relationships with like-minded good-timers.
8. Demand, “Why not?”
Argue back against any limiting thoughts regarding your chances of happily succeeding with any ideas or plans you have for the life you dream of.
9. Radiate joy.
Let your presence spread happiness to others by the infectious nature of your joy.
10. Clown about.
Brighten up your day by acting out any daft idea that strikes you—the sillier the better.
11. Be impulsive sometimes.
Follow your gut instead of overthinking. It’s a great way to find what truly motivates and inspires you.
12. Jump up and down.
Encourage feelings of excitement to bubble up more often by giving them glorious, physical free rein. Others will fall in love with this hugely appealing quality.
13. Be a rebel.
Question every wretched rule that hampers your precious happiness. Realize consequences are mostly imagined.
14. Talk nonsense.
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.” ~Dr. Seuss
15. Sing happy birthday.
Give yourself the gorgeous gift of looking forward to birthdays (even the “big” ones!) by focusing on sharing, receiving, and celebrating all you’ve contributed in the past twelve months.
16. Do a twirl.
Pander to your creative flair for a brilliant mood-boost by wearing exactly what you fancy, unrestricted by any concerns for color matching or trends.
17. Dress it up.
Delve into your dressing up box to turn unavoidable chores into fun, let-me-at-‘em tasks by completing them while regaled in fantastically outrageous items that instantly lift your spirits.
18. Boogie on down.
“Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.” ~William Stafford
19. Eat jam from the jar.
Bypass the rules every now and then if you see a happiness-boosting opportunity, and it won’t hurt anyone else.
20. Splish splash through puddles.
Take a break from meaningful activities to relax by being deliciously frivolous.
21. Banish bedtime blues.
Play late into the night if you’re having fun; you’ll sleep better for it and wake up feeling super positive.
22. Hug your friends.
Lavish love and affection on the people who make your world a great place to live.
23. Burst into song.
Sing lustily when a tune pops into your head to bring on feelings of pure joy.
24. Chatter to yourself.
Have upbeat conversations with yourself out loud to silence your inner critic. Kid’s don’t have an inner monolog and get things out in the open – much more healthy.
25. Have a powwow.
Don’t be self-conscious about asking for help from strangers. Discussing your problems in a positive way with someone else not only finds a solution faster but also can find a new friend as well.
26. Splash in the bath.
Get super playful with mundane events to make these supremely enjoyable.
27. Camp out.
Build an overnight den in the yard or even in the lounge for an exciting change of routine that will keep your thinking patterns fresh.
28. Stamp your foot.
Be strong over matters that are important to you. No one has the right to steal your, or a child’s, happiness.
29. Blurt out, “I love you.”
Love at face value. Don’t be shy about telling those you cherish just how much they mean to you.
30. Say sorry.
Be the first to quickly repair any relationship breakdowns for a lifetime of loving support and a million happy memories.
31. Play with your food.
Make meal times fun again by dining in playful settings and choosing menu options you associate with celebrations, holidays, and picnics.
32. Trust a stranger.
Rekindle unconscious, natural behaviors by talking to people you’ve never met. You’ll be amazed by how much you light up their day and what you learn along the way.
33. Be boastful.
Be proud of every little success each day, and give yourself a gorgeous reward that encourages you to keep going.
34. Refuse to tidy your room.
Leave tasks unfinished when you’ve had enough in favor of an activity that will give your happiness a super boost.
35. Ask for the world.
Be cheeky, and ask for something seemingly outrageous if it’s important to your joyful well-being.
36. Point with awe.
Re-discover how awesome the everyday world is around you.“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” ~Walt Streightiff
37. Create chaos.
Get messy, big, and bright! Focus on fully enjoying any activity you choose so that you can encourage carefree thinking and let go of needing to control the result.
38. Be queen (or king) of your kingdom.
Rule your own imaginary world and let some of that feel-good fantasy rub off in the real world. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein
39. Please yourself.
Leave dull, unimportant tasks till later, and make time for the things that truly matter to you.
40. Slay the dragon.
Believe in fairy tale endings by casting yourself as the heroine or hero in your own true life story. Act this out for an incredible life of happiness. “If children ran the world, it would be a place of eternal bliss and cheer.” ~Peter David
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Forever stressing through all the pressures of adulthood is exhausting.
The relentless demands on your time and physical and emotional wellbeing leave you feeling totally wrung out.
Your natural energy and enthusiasm have totally lost their sparkle.
But small, simple actions toward rediscovering your sunshine can help you burst with the joy of being a kid again.
Consciously choosing a child-like approach brings incredibly carefree times that you can build on.
Rekindle your natural inner child. Giggle, guff, snort, and chortle until pure joy runs out your nose. Live, love, and laugh like you never lost the magic.
And wake up feeling as if every day is the first day or your childhood.
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Why It’s Essential to Find Humor During Your Darkest Hours
“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.” ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
During my pregnancy with my second daughter, Grace, a routine scan showed that the baby had a rare and serious heart defect.
From that moment onward, my husband and I started walking along the most challenging, heart-breaking, and grueling road either of us has ever traveled. The journey often saw us cry, but you may be surprised to hear that we laughed a lot too.
On the day of the scan, the fetal cardiologist spent a long time scanning our baby’s heart. When she had finished, she sat us down to explain her findings. Up until that point, we knew that the problem was serious, but we didn’t know the exact diagnosis.
She took out a pad of paper and began drawing a detailed diagram of a heart. She then looked up and asked, “How’s your biology?” My husband (who has one failed attempt at a biology GCSE under his belt) looked worried, as if he were fifteen again and she was about to test him.
“Not good,” he said apologetically. Even in the midst of such a traumatic experience, I found this small part of it funny. So I laughed.
There’s no point trying to be solemn for solemnity’s sake. Even in the darkest, most trying and difficult moments, I believe if something is funny, you have to laugh. Seize the opportunity to escape the situation, even if for a few seconds, and welcome the release.
On the day of Grace’s funeral, as my husband and I sat together clutching each other’s hands, the choir began the first song.
I had never properly heard my husband sing before, and it was the poorest display of tone-deaf screeching I have ever been subjected to. It was also extremely funny, and I couldn’t help bursting into fits of giggles (everyone else thought I was crying).
You may think me heartless—how could I laugh at my own daughter’s funeral? Believe me, that day was the saddest and heaviest of my life. Minutes earlier, when my husband and I carried Grace’s tiny white coffin into the crematorium, the pain was so intense that I didn’t think I could make it.
And then suddenly, my husband once again exercised his great ability to make me laugh. The laughter lightened me for a few moments.
A minute of laughter allowed me to momentarily forget my sorrow, and the heavy burden was temporarily lifted.
Grace only lived for one day. I will never know the person she would have become. But I do know that she would have loved me, and she would be happy that my laughter helped me endure the pain of losing her, even if it was just for a short period.
My husband is a very funny man who has me in stitches every single day (so much so that sometimes I can’t even stand up).
He hides this from the rest of the world, and I feel privileged to be one of the few people he shows this side to. When we were at the doctor’s office and Grace’s funeral, he wasn’t trying to be funny, and yet even during the most difficult of times, he still has the ability to make me laugh.
When Grace died, many people told me that the burden of grief would probably cause our relationship to become strained and difficult.
We were given lots of well-meaning advice, and yet our relationship didn’t suffer at all. Indeed, we became stronger and developed an even deeper bond. I think humor had a lot to do with this.
The ability to laugh every single day, despite our grief, pulled us through our mourning together. I came to admire my husband even more for his strength, compassion, kindness, and (of course) his wonderful sense of humor.
Laughter is a remarkable healing force, allowing you to forget yourself and bond with the person you are laughing with.
I have witnessed friends who, when going through tough times, stop themselves from laughing at something (even though I know they would normally find it funny). We have a tendency to halt our laughter because it doesn’t seem right or appropriate, because we might feel guilty if we let it go.
Laughter is always right and appropriate (as long as it’s not at someone else’s expense).
In your darkest hours, if you find something funny, allow yourself to laugh. Many studies have shown that laughter and humor have a huge array of benefits, including strengthening the immune system, reducing pain and stress, and increasing energy.
If you are going through a difficult experience or are generally feeling down, humor may accidentally find you. Embrace it.
And if you don’t come across it by chance, track down a way you can lose yourself in some proper laughter. Watch a film that never fails to make you chuckle, speak to a humorous friend, or read a funny book. It’s not wrong to laugh when things are tough; on the contrary, I promise it will help.
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I Like Laughter: Video from an Inspiring Comedian
Most comedians try to get laughs, but Michael Jr.’s goal is to give them. Watch and ask yourself: how can you be the punchline?
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The Secrets to Happiness: Lessons from a Toddler
“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu
My niece is nineteen months old and the most present person I have ever hung out with. If you have children or are around them, you know exactly what I am talking about.
I know you want more joy, health, and lasting happiness in your life, we all do.
Could it be that instead of only teaching our children the lessons of life perhaps we should let them teach us the lessons of happiness?
I don’t live in the same city as my niece so time with her is very important and most of it is spent observing and playing. It got me thinking about her abundant joy and how I should take these lessons to heart.
Here is what she is teaching me about the secrets to happiness:
Don’t think about playing; just play.
My niece doesn’t think about playing or how to play, she just plays. Just like a blade of grass doesn’t intend to grow, it just grows. But we get so caught up in thinking about doing something that we think that contemplation is action, but it couldn’t be farther from it.
Are you practicing making a change to your life so much that you forgot to make the change happen? One of my mottos is “Ready, fire, aim,” because if I think about it too long, I will talk myself out of taking action. Don’t think about playing, just play.
Stop and listen to the birds.
One of my niece’s favorite things is to listen to the birds in the morning. When was the last time you listened to the birds at dawn? When was the last time you smelled a blooming flower? When was the last time you took over an hour to eat a meal, savoring each bite?
This is mindfulness and it is so good for creating happiness. Part of mindfulness is practicing gratitude. It’s hard to be grateful if you don’t stop and notice all the good things in your day. Stop and listen to the birds.
Explore above, below, and everything underneath.
Like most children, my niece is incredibly curious. Everything is new to her, so naturally it has to be explored. She has to explore every aspect of something new, no matter if it’s chalk, the sound a bell makes, or what ice cream tastes like. Her entire day is one big exploration of life.
As an adult I get set in my ways; don’t you? We are so content in our ways we forget about new ideas, new perspectives, and new ways of doing things.
When was the last time you took a new route to work, tried a different restaurant, jumped in a pool, or danced? Happiness is in the joy of the moment, and there is no greater way to create joyful moments than to explore new things. Explore above, below, and under everything.
Bath time is a cause for major celebration.
For my niece there is no greater activity than taking a bath. Total happiness ensues as she gets placed in her tub. Everything about a bath is full of joy—the water, the splashing, making bubbles, and time with her parents.
When was the last time you reveled in something like a bath or even a hot shower? Instead, we get in to get clean and spend the whole time rushing through to-do lists in our heads. Use your bath or shower to cleanse your thoughts and enjoy the experience. Bath time is cause for celebration.
If it’s funny, silly, or exciting, then laugh.
A child laughs an average of forty times per day. An adult laughs an average of fifteen times per day. If something is funny, silly, or exciting, then my niece is laughing. Some are small giggles and some are deep belly laughs. Both are full of present happiness and joy.
There is so much to laugh about. Don’t worry about looking silly or being the one with the loud laugh. Laughter is contagious and immediately changes your mood. If it’s funny, silly, or exciting, then laugh.
Above all else what my nineteen-month-old niece is teaching me about happiness is to be present and enjoy the beauty of life. There is much to be grateful for and enjoy.
Instead, like many, I can easily get wrapped up in deadlines, feeling bad about my body, relationship drama, or fear of failure. All of these are self-created.
If I really stop and just notice the world around me in that moment, I see trees and hear birds. I enjoy the sunrise and sitting with friends. There is no anxiety without anticipation. And you cannot anticipate the present moment; you can only be in it.
Photo by Mindy Gerecke
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Finding Our Inner Child and Having More Fun in Life
“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” ~Tom Stoppard
Just the other day, I was at my daughter’s school to watch her participate in a spelling bee. As the kids came into the room, I took notice of their manner and their faces.
They looked excited, frightened, and some, decidedly uninterested. The teacher led them over to their area and promptly told them to sit on the floor, in two straight lines, and no talking please. They complied.
Some kids pushed at the others to “move over!” Some held their fingers to their lips, loudly shhhhhshing the others. Some opened their notebooks and began to draw or write. Some spoke quietly to the friend next door.
I smiled as I watched them; some caught my grin and smiled back. I wondered if adults would have fulfilled the teacher’s request so quickly, and with relatively little complaint.
I pondered how many adults, after being told to sit on the floor, would have protested “I don’t want to sit on the floor,” or “the floor, are you kidding?!”
How many would have continued talking, ignoring anyone imploring them to quiet down? How many of them would have busied themselves instead of complaining, “This floor is hard, how long is this going to take anyway?!”
And I wondered how many of them would have spoken to the people next to them as if they were their best friends instead of judging, sizing up.
Once the spelling bee was under way, I paid close attention to the children in the room. There were four classes participating, with what must have been around 100 kids on that cold, hard floor.
The children on stage were doing great.
Some of them struggled with a word here and there but managed to put all the letters in the right order. And when they did, their relief and pride in themselves was more than evident. They slapped their foreheads, dramatically wiped their brows, knees buckling as they pretended to faint punctuated by laughter and camaraderie. They cheered each other, congratulated each other, consoled each other.
What of those adults? Would they be willing to slap their foreheads? Pretend to faint? Laugh and shrug their shoulders when they messed up?
What about that camaraderie? Those kids all cheered each other. It didn’t matter whose class they were in, how good or bad a speller they were. It just didn’t matter. Adults won’t speak to you if you’re on a different team.
Maybe I’m being too hard on the adults. I’m sure there are some of them who’ll stand up on life’s stage, give it their very best shot, and maybe win—then pretend to faint, or jump up and down arms waving yelling, “I did it!” Or lose and shrug their shoulders, knowing there will be another chance, or run into the arms of a friend for consolation. But I think they are few and far between.
Composure—looking the part for the other eyes—that’s the important thing.
Take all that sadness or elation and put it away now, my goodness; how old are you? Don’t you know that when you win you’re supposed to look sheepish, uninterested?
When you lose you’re supposed to pull your shoulders back, steel your face, nod your head, and say, “That’s okay, I’m fine.” When you dance you’re supposed to have “the moves,” do it well or don’t get on the dance floor; people are watching.
I stayed with my daughter for the better part of that afternoon, following the children as they headed out the door for Physical Education. Once there, they were told to sit down, this time on the concrete. They did.
I sat down right there on the concrete with them, and they looked at me a little strangely. Then they listened intently while the coach explained the rules of the game they were about to play.
When he was finished, arms shot up in the air, shaking crazily, bursting with the fire of the questions. What if…? When does…? Who goes…?”
They asked all their questions until satisfied that they understood. The game was underway. I watched. Some cheated; most played fair. They came back off the court to their spots on the ground exhausted, sweaty, giddy.
For about a second, some were angry their team didn’t win. But they didn’t dwell. I laughed with them, told them they did really well, and asked if they had fun. They responded with a resounding “yes!” I sat cross-legged, just like them, absorbed the energy, and contemplated the attitude.
How would I have participated, I wondered. Would I have raised my arm and asked questions? Would I have given it all I had and collapsed on the ground afterward? What, as adults, do we do to get exhausted and giddy?
After that day I looked around at the adults I encountered. This is what I saw:
Some were well dressed, on their way to work or a lunch break, talking intently on the phone or rummaging through purses and wallets.
Some were driving, staring through the windshield, maybe thinking about the mortgage payment or the kids or Mom and Dad or how much it’s going to cost to fix the hot water heater.
Some were standing in line, checking their watches, rolling their eyes, seemingly counting the number of items the person in front of them had.
Some were at the park, watching their kids play soccer, looking stressed and yelling, “Kick it! Move up! Go! Go! Go!”
Where did our little kids go, I wondered? Where did that elated, excited, play the game because it’s fun, run in the rain, catch the drops on my tongue, ask all the questions I need to, hug my best friend and tell them I’m sad person go? Can it be I’ve grown up too much? Have all of us?
What would happen if the next time we do something well, we ran around in circles and screamed? What would happen if the next time we don’t understand something, we raised our hand, shook it mightily, and asked a question?
If the next time we’re sad, we grabbed a friend and sobbed into her shoulders? If the next time we sit next to someone we don’t know, we asked them what their favorite color is? What would happen if we danced any way we wanted?
So what am I going to do the next time? I hope I’ll be able to find the inner child I raised into an adult and give her a voice, an arm to wave, and a song to dance to.
But for now, I’m going to sit on the floor and color.
Photo by David Robert Bilwas
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3 Things Tweens Teach Us about Living and Enjoying Life
“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso
Work, Eat, Sleep. Work, Eat Sleep.
We all get wrapped up in this humdrum cycle of life consisting of working, eating, and sleeping, then waking up a few hours later to do it all over again.
This year it’s been particularly challenging for me to find ways to create balance and keep ahold of my sanity when the grind includes growing my small business, completing a new home with my husband, and settling into our first year as newlyweds who have yet to take a honeymoon.
And then it happened. Last month, I looked at my phone and the calendar read “July 15”—which meant that is was mid-July, which meant that summer was quickly fading away, which, most importantly, meant that I was letting the beauty of my favorite, sun-filled season slip right through my fingertips without even putting up a fight.
Luckily, my fate was soon to change as I was expecting my 13 year old spunky little sister, sent straight from my parents’ home in Hawaii.
A little background on our relationship: I left for college when she was five years old and since then, have only been able to spend a few weeks with her here and there during the holidays.
Hearing so much about bullying, sexting, and other emerging teen issues in the media, I had been feeling a bit disconnected from her. And I had this deep longing to reconnect to try to understand her experiences and provide any support that I can.
Equipped with an iPod, iTouch, iMac, and a lifetime’s supply of lip gloss, Sabrina arrived ready to take on San Diego, and ready to take me with her! I was pleasantly surprised to meet a confident, articulate, and organized pre-teen who still managed to capture the playful and silly little girl qualities I remembered so vividly from her childhood. (more…)
