Tag: knowing

  • The Power of Silence and How to Really Listen

    The Power of Silence and How to Really Listen

    “The silence between the notes is as important as the notes themselves.”  ~Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

    When I was younger, I thought knowledge was something you could capture—something you could write down, measure, and prove. I believed that to understand something, I had to explain it. And for a long time, I tried.

    But then, life—through film, through music, through long conversations with people whose wisdom couldn’t be found in books—taught me something else: the most powerful truths don’t always come in words. They exist in the space between them.

    I learned this lesson in the mountains, where the sky stretches wide, and silence is not empty but full of presence. I had traveled there to document a group of elders who carried the history of their people in their voices, in their stories, in the songs they sang to the younger generations.

    One elder, in particular, stood out. He didn’t speak much, but when he did, the others listened. Alongside his fellow elders, he would chant in a rhythmic, sing-song cadence, weaving the origins of the universe into the fabric of their small mountain community. But what struck me most wasn’t his voice—it was his silence.

    As the camera rolled, he sat in stillness. The wind whispered through the trees. The river murmured its eternal song. In that quiet, there was something deeper than speech, something that pulsed with meaning.

    Later, when I played the footage for a colleague, they asked, “But what is he saying?”

    I wanted to answer, Everything.

    Listening Beyond Words

    If you’ve ever felt like the world moves too fast, like people are speaking over each other instead of really hearing, then you already know how rare true listening is. We live in a time when everyone wants to be heard, but few know how to listen.

    Listening—real listening—isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about feeling presence. It’s about noticing what isn’t being said. It’s about sensing the weight behind someone’s silence, the emotion in their breath before they speak.

    I didn’t always know how to listen this way. In my early years as a filmmaker, I focused on what was visible—the shot, the framing, the dialogue. But over time, I realized that the most powerful moments weren’t always what was said aloud. It was the glance between two people who had known each other forever. It was the way someone’s hands trembled before telling a difficult story. It was the pause between sentences, where something unspoken begged to be understood.

    This kind of listening—deep listening—is a skill, just like any other. And like any skill, it can be practiced. It requires patience. It requires presence. And it requires a willingness to be quiet yourself, to let go of the need to respond, explain, or control the conversation.

    The Silence That Speaks

    There is an old teaching in Nada Yoga, the yoga of sound, that says silence is not an absence, but a vibration. It is a resonance that allows meaning to unfold.

    I have felt this in the editing room, cutting together scenes, realizing that what moves people is not the dialogue but the spaces between it—the quiet before the revelation, the moment of stillness before the truth lands. I have felt it in music, when a musician allows a note to fade just long enough for it to sink into the listener’s bones.

    And I have felt it in life, in conversations where someone shares something so raw, so deeply personal, that all you can do is sit with them in silence.

    That silence is not empty. It is full of acknowledgment, of understanding, of respect.

    The Power of Presence

    One of the greatest challenges I faced in my work was convincing people that this kind of knowledge—this ability to sit with silence, to notice, to be present—is just as valuable as facts and figures, as theories and analysis.

    Academia, where I spent much of my life, doesn’t always recognize the kind of knowledge that is felt more than written. The kind of scholarship that comes through film, through sound, through experience. There, knowledge is measured in citations, in publications, in things that can be counted. But how do you count a pause? How do you measure the impact of a shared silence?

    I have spent years trying to advocate for a broader understanding of what it means to know something. To understand that presence—the ability to be fully here, fully aware—is its own kind of intelligence.

    And here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to be a filmmaker or a scholar to develop this skill. You don’t have to travel to distant mountains or sit in long hours of meditation. You just have to start paying attention.

    How to Listen Deeply

    If you want to learn to listen—to truly listen—try this:

    1. Pause before responding.

    Next time someone speaks to you, don’t rush to fill the space. Let their words settle. Notice what else is there—their body language, their expression, what they aren’t saying.

    2. Listen without planning your reply.

    Too often, we only half-listen because we’re already thinking about what we’ll say next. Instead, try just absorbing what’s being said. Let the response come naturally.

    3. Pay attention to the silences.

    In music, the rests are just as important as the notes. In conversation, the pauses carry meaning. Notice what happens in those spaces.

    4. Be comfortable with not knowing.

    Some of the most profound moments in life don’t come with clear answers. Be open to sitting with uncertainty.

    5. Practice with sound.

    Spend time listening to the world around you—really listening. Close your eyes. Notice how many layers of sound exist at once. The wind. The hum of a distant car. The rhythm of your own breathing.

    The more you develop your ability to listen, the more you will understand—not just about others, but about yourself.

    A Different Kind of Knowing

    I write this now, not as a call to arms, but as an invitation.

    To the artists, the thinkers, the ones who feel deeply but don’t always have the words—know that there is a place for you. There is value in the way you experience the world.

    You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to put it all into words.

    Sometimes, the most powerful things we know—the things that change us—exist in the space between words.

    And if you ever find yourself doubting whether your way of seeing, of listening, of feeling has a place in this world, remember this:

    Some of the greatest wisdom isn’t spoken.

    Some of the most powerful messages are never written.

    And sometimes, the best way to understand is to simply be present.

  • Releasing the Need for Certainty and Trusting Our Decisions

    Releasing the Need for Certainty and Trusting Our Decisions

    Peaceful Woman

    If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

    If you’re like me, you’re hard on yourself—and I mean hard.

    You analyze your decisions and try to somehow calculate the results of your actions to feel a sense of certainty. Little did you know that searching for the certainty causes all of your insides to do flips and only causes more uneasiness.

    What I always wonder is where did the need to know come from? I remember being a free spirit with no worries as a child (as I’m sure most of us were—the beauty of naivety), but never did I have the need to just know first so I could be happy second.

    Where does this need to know come from? 

    I’ve recently been reading a few books by Don Miguel Ruiz, the most current being The Voice of Knowledge.

    A chapter in the book talks about our personal stories we have in our heads—the truths we tell ourselves based on our past experiences and overall beliefs about ourselves. We all have them, and we all utilize them to interpret the world in our own way. 

    These stories have become so ingrained within us that we almost don’t notice we’re still holding onto the things that no longer serve us.

    They teach us “because this happened in the past, this will happen again.” Even though the situation could be entirely different, we hold on to these “truths” for some surefire way to predict an outcome before we even know what it will be.

    We no longer trust ourselves to make the right choice because we want the certainty that it will work out the way we want it to, so we can avoid any hurt or disappointment. I’ve learned that this is actually the quickest way to disappointment, hurt, and unhappiness.

    We put so much of our energy and tie so much of our happiness into the outcome of this one decision, and we then beat ourselves up when it doesn’t turn out “right.”

    I’ve been there many times before, and I have to say, it’s still a work in progress toward fully understanding this concept and practicing its lessons. This has been most apparent as it pertains to my relationships.

    For a long time I was torn from a past relationship. I analyzed every bit of it until I had no clue what I was looking at. (Haven’t we all been there?) I closed myself off in fear because a part of me wanted to avoid making a wrong decision and ending up in a similar predicament where I had allowed myself to be hurt.

    Now that I’ve moved on, I’ve found that at times I still carry that fear of uncertainty with me, the fear that trusting myself isn’t enough to know what is right. And that is why I say I’m still a work in progress. I’ve had to learn to let go of these “truths” and stories in order to see things fresh.

    Realizations don’t always lead to immediate changes, but recognizing is the first step.

    I’ve gone a little bit easier on myself over time, but I’ve tried to remember that happiness doesn’t come from knowing; it comes from living through what life gives us.

    It can’t be about figuring out some correct equation to all, because one equation can never fit any and every situation.

    At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for yourself is trust in what feels good to your soul, but first open the space within yourself to receiving these feelings. If you close yourself off emotionally and get caught in your head, you won’t know how to feel anymore.

    So as a reminder to me and as a reminder to you, go easy on yourself. Respect the space within you that desires the freedom to live, without the need to know right at this moment.

    There is never a true state of knowing because we are constantly learning; there is just a state of trusting and accepting the choices we make and knowing every outcome is a lesson—even if we’re still opening ourselves to receive it.

    Photo by Giuseppe Chirico