“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins
Of all the things that scare us, loss can seem like the most terrifying. At times, I’ve thought about it with such dread that it’s felt overwhelming.
Whenever I quit a job I hated in that past, I felt stuck between two loss-related fears: the fear of losing my passion by staying, and the fear of losing my financial security if I walked away and didn’t find something else.
Whenever I considered leaving a bad relationship, I felt paralyzed by two similar fears: the fear of losing my chance at fulfillment by staying, and the fear of losing the comfort of companionship if I walked away and didn’t find someone else.
I haven’t only worried about the potential for loss as it pertains to big decisions. I’ve worried about losing people I love, pleasures I enjoy, and circumstances that feel comfortable. I’ve dreaded losing my youth, my health, and my sense of identity.
And then there are the everyday losses: If I don’t do this, will I lose someone’s respect? If I don’t do that, will I lose my own? If I don’t go, will I lose some as of yet unknown opportunity? If I don’t stay, will I lose my sense of comfort and security?
I might even go so far to say that whenever I fear something, loss is at the root of it. I suspect I’m not alone.
Loss Aversion
Economists have identified loss aversion as a major factor in financial decision-making, in that most people would rather avoid losing money than acquire more. The psychological impact of losing is thought to be twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining. (more…)