“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” –Buddha
Last week my twenty-year-old friend, Dustin, called me out when I was talking negatively about someone to a group of people.
We were sitting around a dinner table at what should have been a really good planning meeting for an upcoming yoga workshop our group was holding.
While we were excited about the out-of-town teachers who were coming to share their incredible knowledge with us for a week, we were stuck on a topic that was both irrelevant and unproductive. That topic even had a name.
For the purpose of this piece I will call her “Jessica.” She practiced with us from time to time, and in spite of the fact that she wasn’t a regular, when she did come her practice brought drama and disruption to the harmony we were trying to create.
When she didn’t show up for a class, no one seemed to mind all that much or try to get her back in the fold.
Yet somehow on this night when we had so much coming up in less than two weeks, there was Jessica, invading our conversation. I can’t remember who first brought her up, but I have to admit, I think I was the one belly-aching the most about her and what she may or may not have done.
Finally Dustin quietly piped up. “Can I say something?” he asked the group.
All eyes turned to Dustin with shock because he so rarely spoke and was never, ever, ever confrontational. (more…)