Tiny Buddha

Tag: financial

  • Beyond Cliché Advice: What Helped When I Was Struggling Financially

    Beyond Cliché Advice: What Helped When I Was Struggling Financially

    “When you are in uncertainty, when you feel at risk, when you feel exposed, don’t tap out. Stay brave, stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringy moment, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading.” ~Brené Brown

    When you think of someone who’s struggling financially, you might picture someone who’s barely making ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck, just getting by. But money trouble doesn’t always look like that.

    I was struggling even though it didn’t seem that way. I had a six-figure salary. I owned a home in one of the most expensive cities in the world, having bought a half-million-dollar property in my late twenties. From the outside, I had it all.

    But a year into homeownership, my partner backed out of our financial agreement, leaving me to manage everything alone. Then COVID-19 hit. The government responded to the national deficit by doubling mortgage rates. Suddenly, nearly every penny I earned went toward my skyrocketing payments, insurance, maintenance fees, and property taxes. Selling my home at the right time became an anxiety-inducing gamble.

    That’s the thing about financial struggles—they look different for everyone. And at some point in our lives, most of us will experience them.

    During those years, the weight of my financial burden crushed dreams I hadn’t even had the chance to imagine. Along with my dreams, my mental and physical well-being and vitality were exchanged with mere survival.

    Well-meaning family and friends tried to offer support, but their words often missed the mark. Telling me to “trust the universe” or “just stay positive“ only made me feel more isolated, like I wasn’t truly understood. I struggled to explain why my financial hardships felt like a barrier to my dreams, why I couldn’t simply shake them off and believe everything would work out.

    While I did make it through my financial struggles, I have reflected on this period of my life. Maybe easy was never an option, but did it all have to be so hard? I also realized there’s a massive gap between the complex challenges and struggles that can arise from prolonged financial struggles and the solutions, support, and advice that we receive from others in combating them.

    What Not to Say to Someone Struggling Financially

    “The struggle will end when you learn your lesson.”

    This idea—that struggles repeat until we find meaning in them—might be comforting in some situations, but it doesn’t apply to financial hardship. The idea that I was somehow failing to learn my “lesson” only added to my stress.

    The truth is, sometimes life throws challenges at us that have no lesson attached. Some things just happen. Our job isn’t to decipher a hidden message—it’s to keep moving forward, however we can.

    “You’re strong; you can handle it.”

    While meant as encouragement, this statement often feels dismissive. Financial stress is relentless, affecting not just the big picture but the daily grind of survival. Instead of pushing someone to be strong, ask how you can lighten their load. Let them vent. Acknowledge their exhaustion. Strength isn’t the absence of struggle—it’s surviving in spite of it. And even strong people need a break.

    “Money is just energy—align yourself with abundance.”

    A positive mindset is valuable, but financial hardship isn’t a spiritual failing. People don’t struggle because they’re “out of alignment” with abundance; they struggle because of real-life expenses, job markets, and economic systems. No amount of positive thinking can pay the mortgage.

    “When something changes inside you, your external world will reflect it.”

    After years of financial struggle, I had no aha moment, no inner transformation or miracle, or even a slight mindset shift before my financial circumstances changed. The only thing that counted was my consistent preparation, planning, and execution of all the logistical tasks that were completed over a very long period of time. In my case, it was hard work that paid off. There was no magical moment of liberation.

    “Just work on your passion after your day job.”

    When you’re financially drowning, exhaustion is constant. My job required intense mental energy. Coming home and using the same cognitive muscle to work on passion projects was nearly impossible. It’s like telling a personal trainer to do intense workouts morning, noon, and night—they’ll burn out or get injured. Sometimes, survival means setting dreams aside until you can pursue them without harming yourself.

    What Actually Helps

    Love through Listening

    As someone who has gone through a period of financial struggle, it is even impossible for me not to bring my bias, experience, and perspective into the conversation when someone shares their struggles with me. The key is to remind ourselves that we are not an expert on somebody else’s life. They are, but we can be powerful listeners. It is in our listening that we express love.

    Get Into the Specifics

    One of the most helpful things I experienced was having real conversations about my financial situation. Talking through an overwhelmingly large number of concerns helped me gain clarity and relief. If you want to support someone struggling, ask about their specific plans and course of action. It will help them declutter their mind and ground themselves in something they can actually control.

    Provide Resources

    Support doesn’t have to be financial. Helping someone find a reputable accountant, connect with another homeowner, or compare mortgage rates were all incredibly useful for me. A friend once helped me break down different bank rates and calculate my options—a simple act that made a huge difference. Another friend helped me with repairs and paints. They helped move the plan along.

    Help with Decision Fatigue

    Financial struggles come with endless decisions—which bills to pay first, whether to downsize, how to negotiate better rates. The questions are endless. Having someone to talk through those choices with can be a game-changer.

    Remind Them of Their Leadership

    One piece of advice that truly stayed with me came from Brené Brown:

    “When you are in uncertainty, when you feel at risk, when you feel exposed, don’t tap out. Stay brave, stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringy moment, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading.”

    At a time when I felt anything but a leader—let alone a good one—these words resonated deeply. They didn’t focus on what should have been or could have been, but on what was: a whole lot of discomfort. My job wasn’t to crumble under pressure or lose my footing with every new challenge. It was to keep leading—myself and everyone involved—through the uncertainty, no matter how difficult it felt. That was my only job.

    —

    My financial struggles are now behind me—something I once thought was impossible. If you’re struggling, know that you are not alone. The weight of it may feel unbearable, but the leader inside you, the people who shoulder the journey with you, and a benevolent force greater than you can see will carry you through. As I recently read, “The horrors will persist, but so will you.”

  • 5 Steps to Lower Your Financial Stress When You’re Drowning in Debt

    5 Steps to Lower Your Financial Stress When You’re Drowning in Debt

    “You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Timber Hawkeye

    I never anticipated the stress and pressure that come when you are no longer able to pay your bills on time.

    Knowing that you owe money, and that your current income isn’t going to cover it, is a heavy reality to face.

    I found myself starting to envy low-income, salaried employees. Even though they don’t earn a lot, which I’m sure brings its own challenges, they aren’t eligible to receive huge credit. This protects them from ever finding themselves owing millions.

    My husband and I have recently gone through a time when we found ourselves way overextended. Due to a series of bad beats and various twists of fate, we found ourselves in over our heads. And this is not a good space to be in.

    It’s a sickening feeling that has seemed to overshadow all the other areas of our lives. We’ve felt unable to breathe, knowing that debt is hanging over us. When the phone rings from an unknown number, we’re hesitant to answer it. It could be someone wanting to know when we will pay a bill.

    Small Beginnings

    It didn’t start out like this. Let me backtrack. I grew up on a farm in an average-income-earning household. Although we didn’t lack for anything, we weren’t wealthy.

    My husband and I married early on in life and started out with very little. We set up a small business from home soon after we got married. I was halfway through studies at the time and managed to juggle both. Our expenses were minimal, and even though it felt like hard work, we seemed to prosper.

    Friends would comment and say we had the Midas touch. As the business grew and branched out, money always seemed to be plentiful. We didn’t start out intending to reach a massive bank balance. Our aim had been to reach financial independence sooner than later. Words like “budget” or “frugalness” never seemed to enter our thinking though.

    Over the years, we upgraded our living, our home, our cars. We took overseas holidays and bought properties. As our affordability increased, so did our expenses. In a short space of time, we up-leveled our lifestyle requirements.

    The Storm

    The stress and anxiety of knowing you are unable to catch up on financial commitments is scary. We had some business ventures fail, we bought out a partner, there was a notable economic downturn. We had new competitors enter the market that we could no longer match, as our running costs had become so high.

    Then things came to a boiling point; a perfect storm was in the making. A few clients didn’t pay for larger projects. This meant we had to put out money to complete the work, but nothing was coming in. Our rental property didn’t have a tenant in it for a few months, and major maintenance needed doing. Staff went on strike, and several employees had to get retrenched and paid out.

    The strain on our marriage was palpable. The weightiness of the situation was hard to bear. There wasn’t going to be a quick-fix solution. We had to rally, face this storm head on, and ride it out over the next two years.

    Downsizing

    We took massive action to downscale. It’s very easy to upscale and commit to new financial obligations. Downscaling is hard because it feels like you’re taking a step backward. And in a sense, you are, although you’re going back to go forward.

    The new forward for me looks like being out of debt. The new goal is to have a business buffer of funds available to get through unexpected setbacks. We never want to experience the stranglehold of debt again. No fancy dining or luxury goods are worth the stress and worry of financial pressure.

    And so, we downscaled throughout the business. Everything got cut back down to size. All the unnecessary extras we didn’t need got cut away. We opted to move home. We cut our rental amount by a third.

    I swapped my shiny floors and designer fittings for a modest, old-school, rustic duplex. We no longer have to worry about hiring a gardener or keeping the pool clean. We cut up our credit cards and canceled every debit order we could.

    We Have Everything We Need

    To be honest, we still lived well and had everything we needed. But only just. When our new large screen TV stopped working, a month or so out of warranty, we started to use an old spare one we had in the garage. When winter came around, I took my allocated winter clothes budget and put it toward better use. That year I made do with what I had. Priorities dictated there were more pressing things to spend on.

    My motto became “If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.” Look for cheaper alternatives. This may be obvious to people who earn a set income and aren’t in a position to over-spend. But it seemed I had to re-learn it.

    For a year, my children didn’t get any new toys. In fact, I packed all the old ones away, only took out a few at a time, and tried to think of creative ways we could play with them.

    By the time Christmas rolled around, there was a financial improvement, so we spoiled the children with presents. The funny thing is, the novelty of the new toys wore off quickly. They didn’t seem to play with the new ones any more than they did the old ones. It seemed the more they had, the less they appreciated it.

    If you’re going through something similar—if you’re drowning in debt and need to claw your way out—perhaps my lessons may help.

    5 Steps to Lowering Financial Stress

    1. Know exactly where you stand.

    Get all your financials listed on a spreadsheet. Open communication is key between the role-players involved. List all your debt, liabilities, and expenses, and your income, investments, and assets.

    The starting point is to gain clarity on where you stand. You need to know how far you have fallen behind so you can plan to rectify your situation as soon as possible.

    It’s easy to start blaming or regretting or going around in “if only I had done this” circles. We had made one bad judgment call, and that may have changed everything. In hindsight it seems so obvious, but at the time we did what we thought was best.

    We had to stop hypothesizing and going back over bad decisions. We needed to work as a team, and now more than ever, we had to support each other, and not go back to “we should’ve.”

    2. Make a plan.

    After getting a realistic view on where exactly you stand, you can start working on a plan.

    Although we felt like throwing in the towel, we had to get our mindset right.

    There are usually more options than you think to get things back on track. Under stress we tend to go into survival mode, and this isn’t conducive to creative problem solving.

    Try to take the emotion of the situation away when you start to problem solve. Imagine this scenario is happening to someone else, and you’re there to help figure it out with them. You will need to research various options.

    Try to make a plan, even if your initial plan changes along the way. It’s important to gain back your sense of control.

    Communicate with the role-players. If you owe the bank or your credit providers, call them and meet up to discuss options. Ask for extensions. Get advice from people who have gone through similar experiences.

    3. Live within your means.

    Cut everything back to what is manageable. Yes, you will feel like you have lost some of your status. We moved from a prestigious housing estate to a random lower end suburb. It was a major personal downgrade, but I’ve come to learn that we are so much more adaptable than we realize. We actually need very little to live comfortably.

    We cut back on luxury items and learned the art of patience. Instead of buying on demand, if I wanted something, I would wait until I could afford it. I found that by doing this, it also eliminated impulse purchases. After waiting and giving it more thought, often I decided I didn’t need that item anyway.

    We had to get in touch what is most important. When you have only a limited supply to work with, you have to focus on what’s a priority. You need to weigh up the options and decide where you will get the most value for money.

    We implemented a budget, where we allocated amounts for the month, so we could plan to get through.

    4. Get back to your intrinsic values.

    Both my husband and I have never been particularly materialistic. We love quality products, but we’ve never been into flashy status items, although we’ve certainly grown accustomed to the finer things in life.

    During our financial crisis, we had to come back to our core values and to the intrinsic value of things. I got to a point when I realized, it doesn’t matter if we lose everything; our health and well-being are most important. We can start over again if we have to.

    I stopped fearing the worst and worrying and stressing. Instead I became fascinated by how the whole experience unfolded. I tried to learn and glean from this what I could.

    A few key lessons from my experience:

    • I never want to be in this situation again, so I’ll need to maintain these changes.
    • I only need to get through one day at a time.
    • Laughing through tough times is much better than crying through them.
    • To be a strong team, you can’t have internal conflict.
    • We had to accept the situation and make the best of it.

    A few things we did to get back to our values:

    • We started to value every penny again.
    • We focused on all we did have, not on all we didn’t have.
    • We forgave and moved on.
    • We left karma to deal with our wrongdoers.
    • We tried to cultivate a long-term vision, and this was merely a glitch in the road.

    5. Practice gratitude and generosity.

    Not your typical response when the financial pressure is on. But when you have little, it’s easier to be grateful for the small things in life. If you have a lot, it’s more difficult to be mindful of and value the small things. You tend to develop bigger and better expectations when you have much.

    We stopped expecting and taking things for granted. We started for be more thankful for everyday things.

    I tried to remain generous, if not with monetary resources, with what I could be generous with. A smile, a text message of encouragement to someone. A flower picked out the garden and given with a hand-written note. Or a listening ear might be what someone else needs. Too often we are so caught up in our own drama, we fail to consider what others are going through.

    As we give to those less fortunate, we start to appreciate our great wealth. It puts things back into perspective.

    6. Calm yourself while you get through the storm.

    This experience has definitely taught me that we can’t control life. We can plan and set goals, but ultimately a lot of things are out of our hands. Life happens, and it doesn’t always unfold how we imagined it would.

    During these times you have to find your inner grit. Your character gets tested and refined. You start to move way out your comfort zones and you land up somehow expanding but not breaking.

    And just when you think you can’t take withstand the storm anymore, you look back and notice how far you’ve come. You realize how much you’ve grown, and you’re stronger than ever.

    Things that helped me get through:

    • Find my composure daily through meditating, deep breathing, consciously releasing muscle tensions when I notice it, practicing self-compassion, celebrating small wins, and staying focused on the bigger picture
    • Remember “This too shall pass”
    • Don’t give in to self-pity or start whining to others
    • Take responsibility for my part in getting here
    • Remember that there is always more money to be made
    • Don’t give way to scarcity thinking
    • Sell or offload what I don’t need
    • Think out the box how to re-structure
    • Keep my life simple

    —

    I’m glad to report we are well on our way to righting our finances. I honestly wouldn’t trade this experience or go back in time and change things. It hasn’t been pleasant, but I’ve learned so many valuable lessons that I will take with me going forward.

    As we build up again, we are going to keep our expenses under control. We are going to be a lot more cautious, and never over-extend ourselves again. We will never enter into bad debt again.

    This time has made me respect the beauty and harsh reality of life and tread a little lighter as I move through it.

  • Recognizing the Strategic Manipulation of Financial Abuse

    Recognizing the Strategic Manipulation of Financial Abuse

    “I have endured, I have been broken, I have known hardship, I have lost myself. But here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day.” ~Unknown

    There was a time, not so long ago, when I was struggling with the heavy hangover of financial abuse.

    Did you know there was such a thing? I didn’t. I hadn’t a clue… until it happened to me.

    But it turns out that financial abuse is incredibly common, and is often used as a tactic to keep a victim entangled in a relationship where other forms of abuse also take place.

    When money equates to power and freedom, and an individual is deprived of these things, it can seem safest to remain with the person who provides some manner of security—even though they are the cause of the deprivation.

    I am one of the lucky ones.

    Nevertheless, “lucky” rolls off my tongue with a sharp sourness. I may not have been married to him, or even living with him (though not for his lack of suggesting it). I may not have been forbidden to work or had my belongings stolen and sold, as some victims experience.

    There were no children to consider, no child support to withhold, no joint bank account. Getting out was easy for me once I realized what was happening. But within those few short months he still managed to inflict plenty of damage.

    He was charming in the beginning.

    Smooth and slick as oil, and a skilled hunter, he honed in on my recent breakup and optimistic nature. I was ideal prey.

    I was new to town and he offered to show me around. We sang Taylor Swift in the car and went to the arcade. He introduced me to bubble tea. He liked kittens and Disney. I thought he was nice.

    But slowly the manipulations began.

    First it was little things like not taking “no” for an answer when I didn’t want to go out: he convinced me by finally saying it was because he wanted to introduce me to his friends and family. Then it became bigger things like trying to turn me against my best friend, but I rationalized that there are always two sides to every story and it must be some misunderstanding. And then it turned financial.

    He started by convincing me to share the benefits of my good credit.

    At the first sign of my hesitation he reasoned that, if he were really after my money, wouldn’t he be dating someone who actually had some? I was barely getting by, just keeping my head above water, so this made sense to me at the time. I didn’t stop to question why he felt the need to propose such a defensive argument to begin with.

    Playing on my history of unhealthy relationships as well, he claimed that pooling resources was what mature couples did: He had the better job; I had the better credit. But the Meijer card that was supposed to be our emergency grocery and gas fund? He used it on Red Bull and video games.

    When I broke up with him, he claimed that everything he owed me had been a gift.

    Of the hefty amount he’d spent, he paid less than 5% of it back, and when confronted he smugly pointed out that we’d had no written agreement. I did have a number of text messages, however, that should have held up in court, so I looked into suing him. After seeking legal counsel and receiving two concurring opinions, it was understood that—even though I was likely to win—he would be deemed “uncollectible,” as his wages were already being garnished.

    The situation left me feeling helpless and dirty. My car was repossessed. I was eventually served lawsuit papers over what he never paid, and had to file bankruptcy.

    But for all that he took me for, I was also able to tell him “no” on multiple occasions.

    He tried to convince me to take out a business loan so he could buy high-end gaming equipment. His plan was to make money streaming live, hoping to make it big like PewDiePie. And when I refused, insisting that we begin to pay off what we (he) already owed, he attempted to guilt trip me by claiming that I wasn’t being supportive of his/our future.

    He also thought we should take advantage of an SUV “bogo” promotion that was going on at the time, which would tie us together in yet another financial circumstance.

    And then he suggested I move in with him.

    This was a potentially powerful maneuver on his part as he angled for more control over me. There would be more financial entanglement, of course, but on a far more precarious level: I would be subjected daily to his manipulations, and the very roof over my head would be at stake.

    Again I use the word “lucky” to describe myself with a sick taste, but lucky I was. I had already experienced how difficult it is to break up with someone when you live together and money is tight. I was not going to fall into that trap again.

    Financial abuse was not that only abuse that he engaged in.

    Statistics say that this variation is often used to perpetuate others — 98% of the time, to be exact. In my case there was plenty of gaslighting. There was emotional and sexual abuse.

    He tried to turn me against my best friend. He convinced me to do things I was ashamed of. And if you’ve never been in this kind of relationship, it’s hard to explain why I didn’t immediately run in the other direction.

    It’s subtle and it’s layered and it’s messy.

    He knew how to make the ridiculous sound reasonable. He knew how to push for my sympathy. He was a skillful manipulator, adept at twisting appearances to his favor. He was always ten steps ahead, strategizing, seeking the checkmate.

    And yet I saw a light within him—a person who was ready to move beyond his past, the person he said he wanted to be. I placed my faith in that person, and I will never know if he never truly existed, or if it was someone he just didn’t know how to be. Maybe that light was just another lie.

    For others, the story may be very different.

    They might stay for the children.

    They might make comparisons and think, “It’s not that bad.”

    They might fear judgment or ostracization for ending their marriage.

    They might even truly believe they deserve no better, or that they could never make it on their own.

    So yes, I am lucky. I made it out. And here is what I learned.

    1. Don’t doubt yourself.

    A manipulative abuser will gaslight you, coming from every angle to make themselves appear right and make you seem wrong. If something feels like a red flag, it probably is. Listen to your internal warning system and let it guide you away from danger.

    2. Stand your ground, even when it’s exhausting.

    They will do their best to wear you down until you run out of reasons to resist. They will ask and beg and argue and belittle and rationalize, and the frightening part is that it will probably make sense. Don’t give in. You know what is right for you. Trust that.

    3. An explanation is not required.

    Not for them, and not for yourself. You are justified in walking away from circumstances and people that make you feel threatened, regardless of whether or not you can explain it. And you owe them nothing. Trying to explain why you’re leaving will only be met with more gaslighting.

    Abuse isn’t always a black eye, or even insults and degradation.

    Sometimes it’s having a comeback to every refusal until you’re too mentally beaten down to argue anymore.

    Sometimes it’s all the right words with all the wrong intent.

    Sometimes it’s wheedling and cajoling and convincing from a silver tongue laced with poison.

    And while all varieties of abuse are terrifying, infuriating, and damnable, I feel that financial abuse is the stickiest of all. It is the web that holds you captive as the spider has its way, leaving you desperate, vulnerable to other forms of attack and manipulation (e.g., sexual, mental/emotional, physical).

    If you take nothing else away from my story, know this:

    You deserve better.

    If you think you might be a victim of financial abuse, please reach out and seek help. You can also click here for answers and assistance.

  • Should You Sacrifice Financial Stability to Pursue Your Dream?

    Should You Sacrifice Financial Stability to Pursue Your Dream?

    Man Jumping Next to Dollar Symbol

    “If a person gets his attitude towards money straight, then it will help strengthen out almost every other area in his life.” ~Billy Graham

    To pursue financial security or your dream …

    You’re in conflict, right?

    I know because I’ve been there myself.

    People often tell us that money isn’t everything, so we assume we can sacrifice money to pursue our dreams. Somehow it will work out. At least that’s what I thought.

    What do you think about money? Is it everything or not?

    I quit my job when I got married. My husband was a pastor in a small rural community in Vermont, and my dream was to help those in need and work with him in the mission field.

    I helped serve in the community soup kitchen that ministered to those afflicted by addiction. Sometimes I worked in the food bank, and instead of getting paid in cash, they donated canned meat to the organization we were affiliated with.

    It was work that fulfilled my soul but not my wallet.

    Though I’ve been broke before and came out on top, I was suspicious we wouldn’t survive on one salary as a family.

    My husband reassured me money wasn’t everything and we’d be okay.

    Our budget was tight. We lived a simple life. We ate donated food, most of which was boxed and canned.

    I longed for homemade food with fresh produce, but we couldn’t afford it. Instead, we tweaked the boxed and canned food as best as we could to make it taste better. I learned that if I added a different spice to the same meal each time I cooked, it tasted better.

    We also learned to make our own 1% milk. We bought 2% milk, divided it into halves and filled each half with water. We didn’t care about the nutritional value as much as how far the milk would stretch.

    We were surviving, but when you’re as broke as we were, one small thing can turn your world upside down.

    We didn’t have health insurance, but I wasn’t bothered by it because I was healthy. Or so I thought.

    I had a cavity that had never been a problem for years until it woke me up in the middle of the night and made me scream in pain. Talk of the world turning upside down. We couldn’t afford a dentist. And the pennies in the jar weren’t enough to afford the smallest container of Tylenol.

    That is when I knew something had to change.

    Living in rural areas has its downside regarding jobs. At least I didn’t get one.

    A friend of mine knew how good I was with children and asked if I could watch her kids after school until she got home. I took her up on the offer.

    This offer was a win because I still helped with the mission work in the morning, and I got paid for nanny work in the evenings. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

    But, here is what I learned from the painful reality of becoming broke in the pursuit of dreams, and how to survive:

    1. Follow your instinct.

    I should have kept my job. Deep down I knew we wouldn’t survive on one salary, but I went ahead and quit. At least we should have first identified how much money we truly needed as a family before I quit.

    Do you have a constant battle in your mind, one side telling you to quit and the other telling you to suck it up? Follow your instinct, but remember that if you chose to quit without a savings account, the bills will still roll in.

    If your gut is telling you that quitting feels risky, be creative and find a way to pursue your dream while still maintaining your financial stability.

    2. Honor friendship.

    Sometimes we assume our BFFs knows what we’re going through, so we expect them to help. But in reality, they have no clue about how much we’re hurting.

    Confide in your trusted friends about what you’re going through — you’ll be surprised by the help you’ll receive.

    We sure wouldn’t have survived without friends. I called a friend when the toothache invaded and explained to her our money situation. She bought the largest container of Tylenol and paid the dentist fee.

    There is no shame in asking friends for help when we really need it. But don’t be a mooch. One day you can return the favor or pay it forward.

    3. Use your strength.

    We all have something unique within. We learned through experience, formal and informal education, or job experience. Yet we don’t utilize that talent.

    What are you really good at? What comes naturally to you? How can you use that skill to help you survive when you’re in a financial bind?

    When my friend suggested I watch her children after school, I took up the offer and loved it. The kids loved sewing and knitting. I used my teaching experience to implement the activities.

    4. Refuse to settle.

    Are you in a tough spot and feel like you have no way out? We’ve all been there.

    But don’t settle. Know that you deserve more. Settling can block your mind from seeing when new opportunities arise.

    I told everyone I came across how poor we were and that I was okay with it because we were doing good work. But deep down inside, I wasn’t okay.

    I longed for things I couldn’t afford, like a nice, warm winter coat. But the most unbearable parts were the things I couldn’t provide for my son.

    For example, he didn’t even bother to tell us about the cookie exchange at school because he knew we couldn’t afford to contribute. He told his teacher his parents were always broke, so the teacher had other kids donate cookies to him.

    It’s okay to experience being broke, but believe that you will find a way to change your situation. The more you believe, the more open you’ll be to potential opportunities.

    5. Take consistent action.

    Does your dream seem difficult to achieve? Is money holding you back? What can you do to bring you closer to it?

    Be patient and consistence with yourself. Slowly and steadily work toward it.

    You don’t have to achieve it overnight. Look at how long runners take to practice before they can win.

    I slowly and steadily continued to pursue my dream while taking care of my financial responsibilities.

    Trust me; you can pursue your dream slowly and still take care of yourself financially.

    6. Create an emergency fund.

    An emergency fund will save you on a rainy day.

    Start saving whatever you’re able to, no matter how little. Lets say you tuck away $10 weekly that adds up to $520 a year.

    That right there will make you giddy on a rainy day.

    If we had money saved my toothache wouldn’t have turned our world upside down. If you don’t have a financial cushion, wait to pursue your dreams until you do.

    Take action and follow your dreams while protecting yourself financially.

    Because you don’t want to look back and regret that you followed your dream and had no money to spend.

    But don’t let opportunities beneficial to your dreams pass by.

    Believe in yourself, and call your own shots regarding your dream and money.

    Slowly and steadily start working toward your dream.

    What steps are you taking today to survive your financial struggles and pursue your dream?

    Man and dollar symbol image via Shutterstock

  • The Bright Side of Having Little Money: 9 Reasons to Stay Upbeat

    The Bright Side of Having Little Money: 9 Reasons to Stay Upbeat

    Piggy Bank in the Sun

    “If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” ~Proverb

    Ever been in a bad money situation?

    Life might have been cushy before, but all of a sudden you find yourself having to carefully watch your spending. You start worrying about how to make ends meet.

    You’re unable to afford the luxuries you’ve grown accustomed to—the ones you used to take for granted, like a Starbucks coffee or a meal at a restaurant.

    I found myself in such a situation not too long ago.

    I used to have a well-paid corporate job that allowed me to spend my time shopping, partying, and going on weekend trips with friends. It was a comfortable life, yet I couldn’t shake the lack of fulfillment I felt.

    Every so often I thought about my big dream—the one I hadn’t realized yet. You know the dream that scares you to the core, makes your palms sweat, and your heart beat faster? Yep, that’s the one.

    Finally, I made the decision to be brave and take action. For me, that meant moving to New York City and starting a business. Luckily my sister had a similar vision, and our paths crossed perfectly.

    My plan was to live for a few months off my savings. I didn’t know much about my sister’s financial situation, but let’s just say that working six months for free in New York doesn’t leave you with much.

    She had tried to tell me that she was struggling financially. I told her not to worry—that we were in this together and we’d work it out. When we met up in New York City, however, her bank account contained exactly $1. I knew it was bad, but not that bad.

    So there we were, in one of the most expensive cities on earth, with no place to stay, no job, no long-term visa, and only my savings to live on.

    This experience pushed me way out of my familiar boundaries. I had to lower the bar on my comfort zone as well as my dignity—which I realized when I had to ask an ex-Tinder date if my sister and I could crash in his apartment for a few nights.

    But my New York City adventure also taught me lots of valuable lessons. I learned to look past the difficulties of having little money to the positive aspects of it (and there are plenty, I promise). This is what I learned.

    1. You connect with people.

    When you lack money, you become more dependent on others. Some see this as a painful experience, but it can actually help you strengthen your connections.

    Allowing others to be there in moments of difficulty isn’t always easy (hello, pride). But by sharing your vulnerability, you give others permission to do the same. When you allow others to be there for you, you open up to deeper connections.

    Also, believe it or not, allowing someone else do us a favor actually leads them to like us more as a result. This is called the Benjamin Franklin Effect. Basically, we justify the favor we did for someone by telling ourselves that we did it because we like the person.

    2. You realize your fears were overblown.

    Not having enough money can be a great fear for many people. Our minds tend to imagine everything that can go wrong, and build up our negative expectations.

    My mind went crazy when I realized what we were dealing with financially. It told me that I wouldn’t be able to pay the rent, so I’d end up on the street. That I’d lose all my friends now that I couldn’t afford to go out, and that I was at risk of starvation and potential death.

    None of my fears came true. The point is that reality is rarely as bad as we imagine it will be. Most of the scenarios we make up exist in one place only: our imagination.

    3. You tap into your inner strength.

    When things around you are uncertain and unstable, you can’t hang on to anything or anyone else but yourself. Others can help, but when life isn’t easy, you simply have to tap into your inner strength.

    Needing external things and people to be a certain way in order for you to feel strong is a recipe for disappointment. They are out of your control. You are the only thing you can control in this world; it’s the only place from which you can draw true and lasting strength.

    4. You become more grateful.

    When you can no longer afford the small things you used to take for granted, you become more grateful for the moments when you can afford them.

    Drinking a coffee you take for granted and drinking one you sincerely appreciate are two very different experiences. In the end, happiness isn’t derived from what we are able to buy, but from the gratitude and appreciation we are able to cultivate from our experiences.

    5. You realize you already live in abundance.

    Sometimes we need to experience what we think is lack in order for the abundance to appear. The abundance is there—we just need to tune into it.

    Just think about it. The sun rises every morning; birds keep on singing and food keeps on growing on our planet. We have roads to walk on, parks to spend time in and people around us to have interesting conversations with.

    Having little money can make you appreciate what you still have in life, even the little things you never used to think much about.

    6. You spend less time doubting.

    I used to spend a considerable amount of time every day comparing and second-guessing all the options available to me. What to eat for lunch, where to go on a night out, what bag to buy, and so on.

    Don’t get me wrong, having options is good—but too many can be overwhelming. Less money means fewer options. This leaves little room for doubt or dwelling on the alternatives. You simply have to accept the options available to you, and as you get on with your life, you realize they’re just fine.

    7. You become more creative.

    Constraints make you creative. When you are faced with limitations you’re required to find new ways of making things work. You start looking outside the box for alternative solutions.

    For my sister and me, that meant becoming creative with our accommodations. Paying rent was simply not an option (unless we wanted to spend all of our money on that and come back home broke). So instead of living in our own place, we spent our time housesitting, babysitting, and dogsitting for people just to keep a roof over our heads.

    8. You make the most of your time.

    When a situation is unsustainable, a sense of urgency arises. Something needs to happen for the current condition to improve. Suddenly, every hour counts.

    My New York City experience made me realize that I need to make the most of my time and stop wasting it on things that don’t bring real value. That means no more days in which all I’m doing is waiting for those days to pass.

    9. You realize the importance of choice.

    Money makes us comfortable. When we are comfortable, it’s easier to not make proactive choices. Choosing means excluding something; therefore, choosing not to choose becomes the easy way out.

    When you’re not numbed by the comfort of money, life gets very real. Every choice you make (or don’t make) either moves you in the direction of what you want or not. The importance of choice becomes more evident.

    Keep Looking on the Bright Side

    Let’s be honest. Staying upbeat when you have little money isn’t easy. Reminders of your financial situation are constantly there, in the cup of coffee you buy, the unexpected bill you receive, or the craving you have for that unaffordable vacation.

    Seeing the bright side of a difficult situation isn’t a quality you either have or don’t have—it’s a choice you make and a skill you can develop. You can learn to make the choice to not let your happiness depend on external things, such as money.

    You deserve to feel good no matter the status of your bank account. To help you stay cheerful, keep reminding yourself of these nine things. Make a choice right now to proactively focus on what is good in your life.

    While you work on improving your financial situation, I encourage you to take advantage of the positive aspects of having little money—connect with people, tap into your most creative self, and make the best of the time you have by not over-thinking your options.

    And always remember this. It doesn’t matter where you are today, as long as you know where you’re going.

    Piggy bank in the sun image via Shutterstock

  • 4 Ways To Take The Ego Out of Money Decisions

    4 Ways To Take The Ego Out of Money Decisions

    “Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.” ~Geoffrey Abert

    Nothing has the power to mess up my finances more than my own brain—or, more precisely, my ego.

    According to Eckhart Tolle, the ego entails the habitual and compulsive thought processes that go through everybody’s mind continuously. Left unchecked, this constant ego monologue prevents us from focusing on the present moment. Instead, we get caught up in worrying about what happens next.  Or, in my case, what I want to buy next.

    My Ego Challenges

    As a financial planner, you would think that I would have mastered money challenges! But the reality is, I have struggled as much as the next person because I allowed my ego to drive my decisions for almost five years.

    When you’re a new financial planner, it’s easy to get caught up in creating the image of a successful planner—in fact, my first manager told me it was okay to go into debt to get a “successful” wardrobe!

    And it doesn’t stop there; I bought the “right” car, the “right” house in the “right” neighborhood; and before long, I was exhausted from maintaining appearances. I may have looked like the perfect planner, but I sure didn’t feel like one.

    I never enjoyed my successes, because I was too obsessed with getting the next thing on the list.

    I finally realized that no amount of money would ever be enough to feel happy, regardless of what my ego told me. And so much money was going to maintaining appearances that I never felt truly prosperous, even though I was making more money than I ever had before.

    That was the point at which I sold a successful practice and struck out on my own.

    I decided that if I wasn’t happy with what I had, I needed to reboot. I don’t think everyone needs to take such drastic action; most people can simply bring more awareness to their decisions and start to course-correct as they go.

    The reason I changed everything so dramatically—sold my business and my home and moved to a completely new city—was that I not only needed to get clear, I needed to recuperate. Letting my ego drive my life choices and burying my true self had made me physically sick, with hypothyroidism and adrenal burnout. (more…)