Tiny Buddha

Tag: Fear

  • On Dealing with Fear: Stop Judging Yourself and Be

    On Dealing with Fear: Stop Judging Yourself and Be

    Spider

    “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

    I’m arachnophobic. Last night, a large spider took up residence on the wall in my room. The shock of seeing its dark mass seated comfortably against the stark white of the paint made the blood drain from my head.

    I have ways of dealing with my fears. Sometimes I ignore them and plunge in head-first without thinking; sometimes I avoid them altogether and run for the hills. When it comes to spiders though, I humanize the situation.

    I gave Richie, as I named my new roommate, the same courtesy I give to all animals.

    After a bit of careful planning, I took a deep breath and eased Richie into his temporary residence, ready for relocation to the floating garden. He was evidently more terrified than I was, although he had no reason to be. Even though he felt mortally threatened, I treated him with the same kindness and respect that I show my pets.

    I realized then I needed to do the same for myself. I needed to give myself a little kindness and accept that my fears aren’t necessarily based in reality. (more…)

  • 20 Ways to Let Go of Regrets

    20 Ways to Let Go of Regrets

    “Every new day is another chance to change your life.” ~Unknown

    You know the moment. It happens right after you realize you did something you wish you didn’t do. Maybe you broke someone’s trust and now the guilt is overwhelming you. Maybe you compromised your job in some way and now you’re terrified your world will come crashing down.

    Regardless of what you did, you can feel your anxiety like a stack of red hot bowling balls surgically implanted in your stomach. (Dramatic? Yes. Regret is rarely reasonable!)

    It’s that dreaded “Good God! Oh no! What was I thinking? Why me?” moment when you think one of two things:

    • I did something I shouldn’t have and I might not be able to fix it.
    • I did something I shouldn’t have, so I’m going to lose something important.

    Both of those things might be true. In fact, they often are. Actions do have consequences. We do lose things—all through life. Nothing is permanent, not even the most secure relationship. But none of this has to be catastrophic.

    Sometimes losing one thing opens you up to something else. It might be a lesson that helps you be more effective and happier in the future, or it could be a new possibility you never even thought to seek (like that dream you put off to work the job you just lost).

    Or maybe it won’t benefit you in any discernible way right away. Let’s call a spade a spade—maybe you’ll wish you went a different way, grieve what you lost, and then eventually let it go and move on.

    The point is you will eventually let go and move on.

    And because you’re a strong, smart, capable person, you’ll find ways to make this new direction meaningful for you. To make up for what you lost by gaining something equally important in the aftermath, whether it’s a new understanding of your strengths, a new idea of who you want to be, or a new opportunity to try again a little wiser. (more…)

  • How to Let Go and Embrace an Uncertain Future

    How to Let Go and Embrace an Uncertain Future

    “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

    I used to love uncertainty. I wandered my way all around this country with little more than a suitcase and a journal. Committing to anything felt limiting, suffocating even.

    One day I realized it wasn’t enlightenment that pushed me to embrace the unknown; it was a paralyzing fear of creating something certain. You can’t disappoint people when you don’t form relationships with them, and you can’t fail when you never start.

    One day I decided to do the scariest things I could imagine: settle into one place, get a steady job, and start forming real relationships.

    This lasted for a while until the economic meltdown rocked my world. Now I’m back in a place of uncertainty, like so many other people.

    Almost everyone I know has had to make at least a few changes to their life because of the economy. People have lost their jobs, homes, and in some cases, their sense of identity.

    It’s both terrifying and exciting to have a blank page in front of you. Sometimes we need reminders to see it as the latter.

    Here’s how I’m learning to let go without losing what I felt I’ve gained these past few years: (more…)