Tiny Buddha

Tag: fail

  • Why We Need Mistakes and Failures

    Why We Need Mistakes and Failures

    “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard 

    A while back, I was invited to attend the Asian Chamber of Commerce’s 22nd Annual Awards Gala. Focused on “The Spirit of Entrepreneurship,” the Asian Chamber of Commerce celebrated individuals who exemplified great leadership skills in the Houston community.

    The keynote speaker, Dr. Lynda Chin, surprised me by talking about failure. A scientist, Dr. Chin is the first to admit medical mistakes. She talked about cancer-related pharmaceuticals having a 95% failure rate, because the medication needs to be tailor-made to the individual.

    I had never heard someone in a high-ranking position admit to failure so freely. But as she put it,  “There is no success without failure. There are no experiments that succeed before first failing.”

    So in essence, failure is the stepping-stone toward success.

    Another person who inspired me that night was Keiji Asakura, an urban design and landscape architect. A botanist, without the degree, he was a lover of plant life. Asakura was another model of someone who was able to take his mistakes and use them as the fundamental building blocks of his successes.

    One day nearly 10 years ago, his company filed for bankruptcy, and on the same day his wife asked him for a divorce. Life couldn’t have been any worse. In the depths of despair he asked himself, “Why do I do what I do?” The answer: because I love it.

    Because he loved it. Hearing those words from someone not in entertainment reminded me of why I do what I do. Because I love it. Without that love there would be no point in enduring this much anxiety in anticipation of something greater.

    People tell me all the time that they admire me for going after what I really want. But people only see what they want to; they forget that behind every truly large success, there are a million failures. For every good sentence that I write, there are thousands more that need to be rewritten.

    So far, in my adult career, where I’m at now is my lowest point. There is nothing on the horizon that promises that the work I’m doing now will pay off. My life is a gamble.

    My dad actually—I say “actually” because he only inadvertently supported my career choice—said, “In every business there is a risk, but without risk there is no potential to prosper. You simply have to take it.” (more…)

  • 3 Simple Ways to Turn Failure into Success

    3 Simple Ways to Turn Failure into Success

    “Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

    I’ve always been an optimist, looking for the good in situations, even when they seem like the bleakest thing that could happen to me or the people around me.

    But failure is a difficult one to turn on its ear.

    You know when you don’t reach your goal. You know when you don’t get what you wanted.

    Now I know the Rolling Stones sang “You can’t always get what you want…but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.” And you know what? Those lines never sat well with me—to just sit and accept it.

    So, even though I know there are reasons I didn’t make it big as a recording artist—and that my Pilates business didn’t fulfill me, and that I’ve experienced the sting of working at companies that decided to shut down—I have always refused to simply shrug my shoulders and say, “Oh well!”

    I decided to find a new way to handle failure and to not only look at in a more optimistic way, but also find within it clues for my next move.

    Here’s what I discovered.

    Failure is a step toward your ultimate success. It’s a lesson. A challenge. A chance.

    When I struggled with my Pilates business, for example, I realized I needed to ascertain where the bulk of my money was coming from and then do more of that. So I made a plan and moved forward. I started doing more of what I loved and what was bringing in income, and less of what wasn’t. (more…)

  • Why We Often Fail with Goals and Resolutions

    Why We Often Fail with Goals and Resolutions

    “The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

    Statistically, a lot of people have given up on their resolutions by now. The definition of a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.”

    When I examine the firm decisions I’ve made, I can’t help but notice that we all have the same lists. Why is that?

    Could it be that the same media, the same books, and the same friends have written all of our lists? I’m not making a value judgment of these shared desires—I just find it interesting that we all seem to feel the need to include so many of them.

    So now I find myself questioning where my resolutions and intentions are based. Did they come from some other source, or do they reflect my heart’s desires?

    I hadn’t actually made any resolutions for 2011, but for the sake of exploring this idea, I got out a notebook and pen and began writing.

    I looked down and saw—yes, you guessed it—that I had written what appeared to be the universal generic resolution list: exercise more, eat more healthy foods, meditate daily, lose weight, call my mother, etc., etc., etc..

    And although all these desires are good—in fact, they are wonderful and I truly would like them in my life—I was surprised that I felt no real energy reading the list.

    It just felt like another list among hundreds, written and then forgotten. Of course I would have issues keeping these decisions. They held no passion, no energy for me at this moment. They were just lots of words on a piece of paper. (more…)

  • 40 Amazing Everyday Successes That Are Worth Celebrating

    40 Amazing Everyday Successes That Are Worth Celebrating

    “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to leave the world a better place; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

    My father is my hero, and one of the most successful men in the world.

    When I was a kid he worked two full-time blue-collar jobs to support me and my siblings. He didn’t have a college degree—he attended briefly on a golf scholarship and then got hurt—but he compensated with hard work.

    Though many people wouldn’t be happy with that type of life, I never once heard him complain. Being someone who prefers a simple routine over ambition, he stayed in the printing industry until he got laid off last year.

    Though he’s inspired me in a million ways, he’s done two things exceedingly well: enjoy his life and treat everyone with kindness and respect.

    I thought about this the other day while flipping through Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People list. As I read about leaders and luminaries who’ve made huge impact on the world, I started to think about the important little things we all do on a daily basis.

    You may not have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but that doesn’t mean you’re not influential in making the world a peaceful place. You may not have created a tool that connects millions of people the world over, but you’re still the glue that holds people together in more ways than you even realize.

    I haven’t always given myself credit for all the good I do. If you can relate, you may enjoy this reminder of all the ways you make the world a better place. (more…)

  • One Simple Way to Live a Successful Life

    One Simple Way to Live a Successful Life

    “Whenever you fall, pick something up.” ~Oswald Avery

    There are plenty of people in this world who know how to be successful, but how many of them know how to fail?

    When you fail, that’s when you become stronger—you learn to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and move on.

    These are also opportunities to learn and to help others as you come back up. As the quote above says, when you fall, pick something up. I would add that when you fall, you should pick someone up too.

    I used to envy other people, thinking them more successful than I may have been. But I have done a lot in my life, seen a lot of things, worked with lots of different kinds of people. I have been successful and I have failed, and I think it is this that has allowed me to be a more grounded human being.

    I have learned that it takes all kinds of people to run the world, and that the ones running the world are not always the smartest.

    I have worked underneath supervisors who make you wonder how they graduated from high school, and I have met truck drivers out on the road who are smarter, more educated, and more widely read than some of our recent US Presidents and CEO’s of fortune 500 companies. (more…)

  • How to Release the Fear of Failing: 20 Inspiring Definitions for Failure

    How to Release the Fear of Failing: 20 Inspiring Definitions for Failure

    “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

    You didn’t get the job. You couldn’t raise the money. You missed the deadline. You hired the wrong person.

    You didn’t ask for help. You let someone you love down. You failed to plan in advance. You bit off more than you could chew. You forgot something important.

    Worst of all, whatever the case, you set the stage for a million questions about what it means and what you should have done.

    When you don’t do something you wanted to do, oftentimes your disappointment has less to do with the results you failed to create and everything to do with your interpretation of what that failure means. That you’re not talented enough. Or competent enough. Or confident enough. Or good enough in general.

    The only way to change your reaction to failure is to challenge the beliefs that create it—those ideas about what failure means. And the best way to change those beliefs is to change the thoughts that shape them. (more…)