Tiny Buddha

Tag: exhausted

  • From Burnout to Bliss: The Beauty of Therapeutic Art

    From Burnout to Bliss: The Beauty of Therapeutic Art

    “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.” ~Brené Brown

    “You have burnout.” I listened to these three words in a trance, said thank you, and got off the call with the doctor.

    Part of me had known.

    The endless days I spent in bed staring at the ceiling with no motivation to do anything. The inability to focus on my screen. And the sudden bursts of tears when I saw yet another meeting pop up in my calendar.

    I knew all of this wasn’t normal. That something was going wrong.

    But another part of me was in disbelief. Burnout?! How can I be burned out if I’m doing what I love?

    Just three years ago, I co-founded a company to help chronic disease patients. I was here to change the world, to help others, to build something meaningful.

    How is it possible to burn out following your own dream? That’s something that just happens to miserable people in their nine-to-five jobs.

    As I dove deeper, I learned how wrong I was.

    It’s actually much more common to burn out when you’re running your own company than when you’re an employee.

    The financial rollercoaster, the rejections along the way, the countless weekends spent working without ever really taking a break—we are not made for that.

    No matter if we’re following our own dream or someone else’s.

    So, like the perfectionist and hustler I was, I thought: Let’s fix this fast so I can get back to feeling joy for what I’m building.

    I read the self-help books, did talk therapy, started mindset coaching, tried different productivity techniques, but the void inside me, the demotivation, the inability to feel joy—none of it went away.

    And underneath all of this was a crippling fear: What if I’ll only get healthy if I leave everything I’ve built behind?

    The turning point came one day, out of the blue.

    I was sitting at the beach watching the sunset, and as I watched the sun setting in its glamorous colors, I heard a voice inside my head say, “Go and buy paint.” At first, I dismissed it, but it got louder and louder until it was practically screaming: “GO AND BUY PAINT.”

    And so, I did. I went to the nearest dollar store, bought cheap acrylics, a small canvas, and a few brushes.

    At home, I put a plastic bag on my bed, and without much thought, I started painting.

    The first brushstroke hit me deeply. I felt my body and heart exhale: finally, you have come home!

    I painted for hours. And when I finished, I was exhausted, but it was a good exhaustion, like after a long hike, when you’re filled with a quiet love inside.

    For the first time in months, I fell into a deep, long sleep. When I woke up the next afternoon, the void didn’t feel so big anymore.

    I felt… I couldn’t quite describe it at first. Until I realized: I felt happy.

    I spent the next months painting every single day.

    I learned different techniques, invented my own, and with each drawing, I left behind traces of overworking, criticism, judgment, perfectionism, and self-pressure.

    After a while, I got curious. I wanted to understand what the art had actually done to me. Was it possible to heal burnout “just” by painting?

    So I went down the rabbit hole: studying, learning, experimenting. The deeper I went, the more I realized it wasn’t really about the art at all.

    The art was just the tool. A tool to create space to feel, to process, to change the internal narrative.

    Maybe you know what I mean. Maybe you’re completely drained and exhausted by your work, whether in a demanding job or in your own business, and you’re questioning why this is happening to you. Maybe you already know it can’t go on like this, but you feel trapped in the situation you’re in.

    If so, here are a few things that helped me in my process using art and that might help you, too.

    And no, you don’t need fancy materials or specific techniques.

    The type of art I found most healing is called therapeutic art. It’s not about the outcome; it’s about the process. The paintings don’t have to be pretty. Sometimes they’re just black scribbles, circles, undefined shapes. It’s all about expressing yourself onto the paper.

    So here they are—the five lessons that helped me in my quest to heal from burnout.

    1. Connect to your creator self.

    Your creator self is the part of you that exists beyond the roles, responsibilities, and pressure of your work. The part of you that’s here simply to create and express.

    Burnout disconnects us from that part of ourselves. Through mindful painting, we can make space to turn inward, explore freely, and reclaim a sense of agency over our own experience.

    When you use art therapeutically, there’s no need to prove anything or achieve a result. It’s about being present in the moment, feeling your hands move across the paper, and letting yourself just be.

    That’s what helps reconnect you to your sense of aliveness and to the real you beneath all the noise.

    2. Release stress from your body.

    Burnout and overworking aren’t just mindset problems. All the stress, all the emotions you chose not to feel along the way, get stored in your body.

    Your body literally goes into survival mode, and no amount of thinking or talking will fix what’s happening in your system.

    Therapeutic art is a mind-body practice that helps process tension, emotions, traumas, and stress that have been stored for years.

    The act of painting, moving your hands, and letting emotions flow through color onto the paper allows your body to exhale and relax. It gives your system the break it has been screaming for.

    3. Rewrite the success story running in your subconscious.

    Most of what drives our actions doesn’t come from conscious thought, it comes from the subconscious, which shapes 90–95% of how we think, feel, and act.

    This is where all the hidden beliefs live that drive us into overwork and burnout: “Rest is lazy,” “If I slow down, I’ll fail,” “Success has to be hard.”

    Even if you logically know these aren’t true, your subconscious doesn’t. It keeps running on these old programs.

    Through painting freely and intuitively, you can project these thought patterns onto the paper. You may catch yourself wanting to control the outcome, judging the process, or feeling anxious when things get messy.

    And in those moments, you have the chance to soften, challenge the old stories, and show your system that there’s another way to live and create.

    4. Let go of what’s no longer working.

    Burnout is a sign that something you’ve been carrying—a habit, a role, a belief, an idea—is no longer aligned with your highest self.

    Art gives you a safe space to practice letting go. On the canvas, you can release control, let things get messy, and allow what wants to emerge to show up without needing to fix or force it.

    This mirrors what we need to do in life: loosen the grip, experiment, and trust the process. When you practice surrender in small ways through art, it becomes easier to loosen your grip on the bigger things draining you.

    5. Rediscover your joy again.

    One of the most painful things about burnout is losing your sense of joy. Everything becomes dull, gray, and heavy.

    Therapeutic art invites you back to joy without a goal. It’s not about making something pretty or useful. It’s about playing with colors, being fully present, and simply observing yourself.

    When you paint just for the experience, you remind your system what it feels like to have fun and be here without needing to earn anything.

    And that, in itself, is a powerful way to heal.

    Burnout doesn’t mean you’ve failed or are broken. It’s often a sign that something in your life or in you is ready to change. For me, painting became the safe and joyful space back to myself.

    The best thing is that you don’t need to be an artist to use painting in your healing process.

    What matters is making space to listen inward, to let your body exhale, and to soften the old stories you’ve been carrying.

    And when you do, you might be surprised at what’s still alive inside you, just waiting to come home.

  • Always Exhausted? Native Wisdom to Restore Your Energy

    Always Exhausted? Native Wisdom to Restore Your Energy

    TRIGGER WARNING: This post references sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.

    “Spirit carved by Nature
    Here I am.
    Slowly ascending
    toward my own profundity.”
    ~Elicura Chihuailaf

    That exhaustion you feel when your body is fighting something, the feeling of being completely drained to the point where you can barely move your body…. that’s how I felt when I was living with trauma.

    Over the years it had piled up inside of me—the sexual assault I survived one night after I’d just turned twenty, the physical and emotional abuse that went on almost daily when I lived with my ex-husband… all of it was still living inside of me. And every day it was making me feel more and more tired.

    The difference is, when we come down with, let’s say, a cold, once we fight it and heal, our energy returns, and we feel like ourselves again. But trauma… again, it’s different. At least in this culture; more on that in a little bit.

    That’s why I never “got over” it. I never got my energy back; I never woke up feeling rested or like I was back to being myself. Not until eight years later.

    Too Tired to Listen

    From a very young age, our people are taught the importance of listening… especially to energy. We recognize that energy is in everything that’s alive, from the forest to a rock, the water, the sun, all animals, and, of course, ourselves. And energy will always “speak” to let us know when something is out of balance.

    It’s hard to listen in this culture, though, even as an Indigenous person who comes from these teachings, and even though I’m only the first generation in my family to live in Western society. It’s hard because here we are distracted and so tired of just trying to survive.

    Whatever energy we have has to go to work so that we can pay our bills, rent, food, and whatever else is needed. We don’t have the support of our communities, where everyone helps each other out, growing food, caring for those who are sick or injured, and even raising children. At least that’s how it was in my community, on our reservation, before so many of us were forced to leave.

    It takes a lot of energy to do everything alone, as most of us do in this culture. That’s why so many of us don’t see any other option but to push through, and as a result, we forget to listen.

    Back then, if I’d listened instead of feeling guilt and shame for not doing enough, I would’ve understood myself better. I would’ve shown myself more compassion and known that my energy was telling me something was off.

    The fact that I could barely get out of bed and jumped at any chance to doze off: in parking lots in my car, at work behind some boxes in the stockroom, in bed while watching Friends. It wasn’t laziness or a lack of motivation. It was me, still trying to survive what I’d been through.

    Not Living, Busy Surviving

    While we don’t always think of the stress we go through or even the trauma that happened in our past as something that would be considered surviving—and if we do think of it as surviving, it’s usually past tense—it is how our energy and body respond.

    And what’s important to remember about energy and ourselves as nature is that we don’t have an endless amount of it. We’re not like our laptops or phones, with a charger that you can just plug in and recharge. That means when your energy is focused on surviving, it doesn’t have enough left to take care of you.

    Going back to the comparison of having a cold. When you go to sleep, your body doesn’t just stop fighting the virus, right? It continues while you sleep, which is why you wake up feeling exhausted.

    Stress and trauma work the same way. Just because you’re lying down, resting on your couch, or going to sleep, that doesn’t mean your body (and energy) stops protecting you.

    Think of a deer trying to escape a hunter. At that moment, their energy can only focus on survival, right? It’s not until they get away and find safety that their energy changes back to its natural state, balance, because then they don’t need to try to survive anymore.

    But let’s say this deer is living in a place that is not their natural environment. Instead of open meadows and deep forests, there’s a high chain-link fence trapping the deer with the hunter. The deer runs and desperately tries to find a way out, a place to be safe, but can’t find it.

    Eventually, the deer will become tired and lie down because, like us, the deer can’t fight for survival forever.

    My life back then was not focused on living. It was almost exclusively focused on sleep and coming up with excuses so that I wouldn’t have to leave my bed. And to no surprise, my friends eventually got fed up with me always turning them down, so they stopped calling. While I was relieved to not have to come up with excuses anymore, I felt lonelier than ever.

    That’s the strange thing about survival, or it’s not strange; it makes a lot of sense. When we’re in this state, we don’t want to be alone, but at the same time, we’re also too tired to be around people. Or to pick up the phone or answer calls or texts from loved ones. We want to, but there’s not enough inside of us to make us do it.

    So we hide behind the walls we build to protect ourselves, while at the same time, wishing for a way out.

    It was only meant to be temporary.

    It was never meant to be this way. Survival is meant to be temporary, to protect you, to help you through something, to keep you alive. That’s why you were born with responses to finish it. That’s why you were born with the ability to heal, just as you heal from any other wound or when you’re sick.

    It’s the laws of nature, or else life could never continue.

    And like the deer, when your nge, your energy, knows you’re safe, it changes the message it sends to your body: from doing everything to protect you to taking care of you.

    What keeps us stuck in survival, too drained and exhausted to live our lives, is living in a culture that keeps trying to convince us that we’re not nature and that these responses we have had to be controlled, even stopped.

    Think about the responses you have that would make you embarrassed if they happened around other people, or would make you think of yourself as “weak” but are completely natural. Crying, trembling, shaking.

    Here we learn to look at ourselves as humans without human responses, and it has consequences.

    Too many people are now living too exhausted to engage with life because they can’t finish survival. They don’t know about the gifts nature gave them to heal from trauma and release stress from their bodies. That what comes in must come out, and what starts must finish.

    The arrogance of this dominant culture is thinking they can do better than, and even replace, nature. And the danger of a homogeneous societal culture is that it makes us believe it too.

    Conclusion

    Remember that no matter how strong and resilient you are, your energy can only do so much at a time.

    When you go to sleep, that’s when nothing else is going on and your body can focus on taking care of you. But if it still has to survive what you went through in your past, it can’t do that. No amount of bubble baths, journaling, Tempur-Pedic pillows, medications, or talking it over with logic will change the fact that survival has to end.

    It wasn’t until I healed from trauma (a reality that unfortunately causes a lot of suspicion in this culture) that I finally started feeling rested.

    And that’s the bottom line—no matter how much you sleep, your body can’t truly rest until it feels you’re safe.

    Just like the land we walk on and the water that gives us life, our bodies come with powerful abilities that, today, only ancestral Indigenous wisdom can help us remember and return to. Not just for a good night’s sleep but for all the things we miss when we’re too tired to live our lives.

    We just need to listen.

  • When Life Feels Too Hard: How to Mindfully Get Through the Day

    When Life Feels Too Hard: How to Mindfully Get Through the Day

    NOTE: This post contains a giveaway – details at the bottom of the post!

    “If today gets difficult, remember the smell of coffee, the way sunlight bounces off a window, the sound of your favorite person’s laugh, the feeling when a song you love comes on, the color of the sky at dusk, and that we are here to take care of each other.” ~Nanea Hoffman

    I am currently exhausted. Absolutely beat. I’ve taken on more work than I can comfortably accomplish in my available time, I’ve been feeling under the weather for a while, and my eighteen-month-old son is in yet another sleep regression.

    Whether I’m caring for him or working, I am almost always doing something, seven days a week. And like many of us, I feel I have very few outlets for fun and relaxation, even if I do find the time, given the limitations of the pandemic.

    I know I have little to complain about. I am relatively healthy, and so are the people I love. I have all my basic needs met. And I have a lot to appreciate. But still, my days feel overwhelming and hard.

    Maybe you can relate—and maybe for you it’s even worse.

    Maybe you’re struggling with mental health issues from months of isolation. Or you’re trying to figure out how to pay your bills because you’ve lost your job or some of your hours. Or you’re dealing with a sick loved one, and the responsibility feels like far too much to bear.

    If you’re in that overwhelmed place right now—if you’re frustrated and burnt out or at the end of your rope—I get it. I really do. And I don’t have any simple answers for those very real, and perhaps seemingly insurmountable problems.

    I can say, though, that things aren’t always what they seem. And no matter what’s coming down the road, there are a few things we can all do to help ourselves get through this day. Our sanity intact. So we’re less harried, more grounded, and better able to handle whatever the future may bring.

    Here are a few mindful ways I approach the day when everything feels like too much:

    1. Only do what you can accomplish by single tasking.

    I find it incredibly hard to be present when I have to do multiple things at once because I feel like I’m failing at all of them, and inevitably get caught in my head, judging myself and my efforts.

    I also don’t enjoy anything when I’m overlapping tasks—even if some of them could otherwise be enjoyable, like spending time with my son or writing. It’s like having twenty tabs open in my mind, with music and video clips and Netflix shows playing simultaneously. All good things, but not all at once!

    Even in normal times, parents in particular have to multitask—there’s just so much to do between childcare, housework, and actual work. But still, I’ve realized I can ask for help with a lot and simply let some things go. I can wash the dishes later. Or make a non-cook lunch. Or not do some of the little things I’d like to do but don’t actually have to do for this site.

    This isn’t easy for perfectionists. We want to think we can do it all—and do it all well. And if we can’t, we’re hard on ourselves. But I’ve begun to tell myself, at the end of the day, if I can’t reasonably accomplish everything on my to-do list, the problem isn’t me, it’s my workload.

    So do one thing at a time, and if you feel you simply can’t, ask yourself if that’s really true, or if you’re just attached to your busyness—because you feel productive, or it gives you a sense of control, or it allows you to avoid emotions you maybe don’t want to face.

    2. Allow yourself to enjoy the little things.

    It sounds cliché, and I know it is, but this really is a lifesaver. When your days feel overwhelming, those little moments can go a long way toward creating a feeling of balance, even if life isn’t so balanced right now.

    Take the five minutes to savor your tea or coffee instead of scrolling and swiping your way through it. Dance to your favorite song and belt out the lyrics, really feeling them in your heart. Take a few minutes to look at the moon and stars at night and get lost for a minute in the evening’s beauty and the vastness of the universe.

    The other night, after a particularly taxing experience with my son, I noticed that the moon looked like someone had painted it. It was truly stunning—full and far more orange than usual—and I can’t remember having seen it quite so beautiful ever before.

    So I stared. I didn’t try to stop thinking, I just did because it was so spectacular. And after a few minutes I felt calmer. I had meditated without even trying simply by appreciating something I may otherwise have missed—despite it being massive and right up in the sky for me to see.

    Take a little time to be amazed by something you won’t enjoy unless you consciously choose to focus on it. See the things you can’t see when you’re rushing. Hear the things you can’t hear when you’re stressing. Get so caught up in your senses that everything else seems to stop for a moment—because things don’t actually stop. So we have to be the ones to do it.

    3. If you start worrying about the future or regretting the past, make an inventory of your current strengths.

    Hard days are infinitely more difficult when we relive hard days past or worry about potential hard days coming. But our minds are like magnets to negative things when we start indulging defeatist thoughts. It’s like we put on a grey filter and then look back and forth through time with a dark, depressing spotlight.

    So instead of rehashing the past or worrying about the future, focus on all the strengths you have right now that will prevent you from making the same mistakes and help you handle whatever is coming.

    Think about all you’ve overcome and how that’s shaped you. Maybe you’re resourceful, or adaptable, or open-minded. Maybe you’re determined, or disciplined, or empathetic in a way that helps you connect with people and create strong support systems.

    Instead of worrying about what the world can do to you, find strength in who you’ve become because of what you’ve been through—and trust, in this moment, that you can rely on those strengths to serve you well, no matter what the future holds.

    And then, even better: Find a way to use one of those strengths right now.

    The other day I started worrying about my plans for early next year because a lot is up in the air right now and—as always—there’s a lot I can’t control.

    Then I remembered that, because I have put myself in many new situations throughout my life, I am always adaptable and resourceful. I find a way to make things work and make the best of things, even if I don’t always trust I will be able to do it in the future.

    So right in that moment, when I was feeling overwhelmed and spread too thin, I chose to make the best of my situation by putting on music I enjoy and taking a break from work to watch my son dance. The day wasn’t perfect, but that moment was, because I made it so.

    4. Practice tiny acts of self-care.

    There was a time when I had abundant opportunities for self-care. Pre-baby, I could easily do an hour-and-a-half yoga class and also fit in a walk on the beach and maybe even a bath.

    These days I am more likely to do ten minutes of stretching or five minutes of deep breathing to ocean sounds (since I no longer live near the beach) or take a mindful shower.

    There was a time when I thought those things weren’t worth the effort. I’m an all-or-nothing person! But a day with twenty-five minutes of self-care, spaced out, feels far better than a day with no self-care at all.

    Here are a few more of my favorite tiny acts of self-care:

    • Reading one chapter or a few pages of a book for pleasure
    • Doing a facial mask to feel cleaner and rejuvenated
    • Doing absolutely nothing for five minutes—just sitting and letting myself be
    • Calling someone I love to catch up
    • Lying with my legs up a wall to soothe my muscles and relax my mind
    • Applying lotion to my hands and massaging it in to relieve tension
    • Eating something healthy or drinking a green juice instead of having a processed snack
    • Doodling for a few minutes and reconnecting with my creative brain
    • Checking in with myself and asking, “What do I need right now?” Then giving it to myself, whether it’s a break, a glass of water, or a walk around the room.
    • Doing something I enjoyed a kid, like making up a stupid dance to a song I love

    5. Practice radical self-appreciation.

    I find that hard days are a lot easier when I’m easier on myself. Not always easy to do when the day feels hard because I often find a way to blame myself for the difficulty. Like I’m just not good enough or strong enough. Or I didn’t make the right choices, and that’s why things feel so hard now.

    To counter this, I try to imagine I’m watching someone I love living my life and think of what I’d tell them if they felt overwhelmed or down on themselves.

    I have even gotten into the habit of mentally calling myself “sister” sometimes—kind of weird, I know—because I am always highly empathetic toward my sister.

    So when I’m struggling, I might say, “Sister, you’re doing great! No one I know can do as much as you, or as well!”

    And then as a more preemptive act of self-appreciation, I try to check in with myself throughout the day to note things I’m doing well. And sometimes it’s not about doing, but about being.

    Great job being understanding when you really wanted to judge.

    Good on you for being thoughtful when you could have been swept up in your own stuff.

    Way to go on cutting yourself some slack—right now—even though you feel like you sucked at life today!

    I know from personal experience that hard days feel even more draining when we beat ourselves up every step of the way. It’s like walking through a storm carrying your own flailing, screaming twin on your back.

    The storm won’t be any less ferocious because we’re kinder to ourselves, but the journey is much less taxing when we consciously choose to love ourselves through it.

    —

    **This was post was edited to remove a giveaway that has since ended.

  • What You Need to Hear If You Work Yourself to the Bone

    What You Need to Hear If You Work Yourself to the Bone

    “Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” ~Daniell Koepke

    A couple years ago, a colleague of mine died from overwork.

    In the days leading up to the event, everything was normal. Everyone was working and getting things done. Things were hectic, but there was nothing out of the ordinary with sixty- to eighty-hour workweeks.

    Then one day, she said that she wasn’t feeling well. She disappeared from her desk and checked into a hospital. A few days later, she passed away.

    Sometime later, the hospital determined the cause of death. She had been suffering from heart problems, which had been caused from working long hours. She was in her late twenties.

    When people heard about it, there were widespread feelings of loss and sadness. But there was also another feeling: shock. Death from overwork?

    It’s one of those things you hear about in the news, or somewhere far away. But to hear about it firsthand from someone you knew? It struck home.

    Then I got to thinking: Was I working too many hours? What if I was pushing myself too hard and didn’t realize it? What if the things that I considered normal weren’t normal at all?

    Being surrounded by people with high aspirations gives you certain conceptions of how things “should” be. Yet after the incident, I started to see work in a different light.

    Like so many others, I previously thought pulling long hours was a point of pride. People would brag about how much they work they did on a given week. Feeling exhausted, drained, and stressed were part of the routine.

    That is, until something drastic happens to shatter that belief.

    Lately, I’ve been practicing self-care more and more. I’ve started to value the importance of stopping once in awhile and enjoying the scenery, rather than always rushing forward to the next spot.

    If you’re exhausted from constantly pushing yourself, perhaps these lessons I’ve learned can be valuable to you as well.

    1. Schedule in regular “me” time.

    Someone I know has a “no work” policy on the weekends. That means no emails, no working on projects, no meetings until Monday. To emphasize how strongly he believes in this policy, he expects the same from his employees as well.

    When I heard this, I was skeptical. How could someone get things done if they simply went off the grid like that? I had always equated working longer hours with better results.

    And yet, he said that ever since he dedicated weekends to himself, he is happier, more productive, and more energized overall. Plus, he gets more time to spend with family and pursue his own hobbies.

    So I decided to try it. I scheduled in time dedicated to myself. That meant I could take a walk, watch a show, or whatever, as long as I wasn’t working.

    Setting aside rest periods meant I was forced to get work done during my designated work periods. It took a while to get used to, I admit. But eventually, I started feeling more focused when I was working and more peaceful when I was resting.

    Now, you might not be able to take the whole weekend off or choose your work schedule. Still, you can set aside time for yourself. Try dedicating one hour on a given day to do anything you want.

    You might be surprised at how refreshed you feel afterward.

    2. “No” can be the best answer.

    When someone asks you to do them a favor, how do you respond? Do you dive in, ready to help? Or do you take a step back and evaluate what to do?

    Whenever anyone asked me for assistance, I would feel obligated to help. If I didn’t give the person some of my time, I would feel guilty and think I was a bad person. Even if the person didn’t really expect my help in the first place, I would still feel as if I should have done something, somehow.

    But I’ve gradually realized that it’s okay to say “no.” I can’t agree to every single request or help everyone who asks for it. I only have a limited amount of time and energy, so I have to choose how to spend it.

    Of course, we all have obligations that we need to fulfill, even if we don’t feel like it. Certain people in our lives rely on us. For instance, I need to answer an email from a client, or you might need to pick up your child after school.

    At the same time, you don’t need to carry the world on your shoulders. Declining an invitation or a request doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply means you’re spending your time on the things that matter most.

    3. You deserve a rest.

    For the longest time, I was hesitant about taking holidays because it meant I wasn’t working. And if I wasn’t working, I wasn’t making progress. I felt the need to simply keep going.

    However, I have since found that those periods of rest can be periods of immense growth. When I step away from my regular routine, it gives me the opportunity to try new things and explore. It enables me to see new ideas that I can integrate into my work and life.

    For instance, traveling has shown me there’s more than one way to live and be happy. While many spend their lives running to the next big thing, many more choose to make the most of what’s around them.

    It can be addictive to run yourself ragged, I know. Your heart beats faster, you feel the thrill of a rush, and your brain feels like it’s about to burst with all your ideas and plans. You’re constantly going, going, going, with no stop to it.

    But chasing that feeling is also damaging your health in the long run.

    If your head is hurting or you feel tired, take a rest. You are not lazy for needing a break. It’s your body’s way of telling you that it’s been running at full speed for far too long.

    Listen to your body.

    —

    It’s not a waste of time to pause work.

    I’ve been trying to balance out that desire to keep pushing forward, while stopping to soak in all the good things around me right now. It isn’t always easy, but I’ve been making it a point to dedicate some time to myself regularly.

    I hope that you have been achieving things that you’ve been working on. But I also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and taking a moment to appreciate all that you’ve achieved already.

    When you stop and look around, your surroundings come into clearer focus.

  • How to Beat Insomnia and Get a Good Night’s Sleep (A Spiritual Approach)

    How to Beat Insomnia and Get a Good Night’s Sleep (A Spiritual Approach)

     

    “Our spiritual mission is not to ignore the darkness, but to bring light to the darkness.” ~Marianne Williamson                              

    It’s 3:17 a.m. You’ve been staring at the clock since 1:42 a.m., mind racing, body tense. In five hours you’re going to have to drag yourself to work, terrified that you’re going to fall asleep at your desk—again.

    If you have trouble sleeping, you’re not alone. I know what it feels like to lie awake, reliving mistakes, making lists of things that might go wrong, waiting for sleep that never seems to come.

    In fact, almost one-third of the adult population in the US has trouble falling asleep from time to time. Ten percent of us have long-term insomnia, which means we struggle to fall asleep at least three nights a week for over three months.

    Whether you have a wakeful night once in a while or find yourself lying awake all the time, here are some new ways to think about and deal with insomnia that could change the way you feel about those sleepless nights. 

    Preparing for Sleep

    Using the following Feng Shui techniques can help turn your bedroom into a sanctuary that invites relaxation and encourages a good night’s sleep.

    Clean Out the Clutter

    Begin by getting rid of anything in your bedroom that isn’t useful or doesn’t bring you joy. Clean out the clutter from under your bed, the back of your closet, and all your drawers. Dust out the corners of the room and make your bed. According to the National Sleep Foundation, people who make their beds are 20% more likely to get a good night’s sleep.

    Remove or turn off as many electronics as possible. If you choose to have a phone or personal device in the room, keep it as far from the bed as possible. That blue light from your device can inhibit the production of melatonin, which helps you fall asleep.

    Engage Your Senses

    Once your bedroom is clean and clutter-free, turn it into a welcoming retreat by finding ways to appeal to your senses.

    First, surround yourself with soft colors. Focus on pastels or earth tones, no black floors or walls. An occasional splash of vibrant color is fine, but the overall effect should be soothing and peaceful.

    To bring balance to the room and help you feel safe as you sleep, make sure the head of your bed is against a wall, the bed is easily accessible from both sides, and the bedside tables are a match in size and proportion.

    If you’re bothered by noise, try using a white noise machine, or play some soothing music to help you unwind.

    To appeal to your sense of smell, use a diffuser with scented essential oils. Lavender and jasmine are great for helping you relax.

    Every fabric that touches your skin should be soft and inviting. Your sheets should be the best quality you can afford. If you haven’t replaced your pillow in this century, it’s time for a new one. Your mattress should support your weight comfortably. If it’s more than ten years old or it sags in the middle, replace it.

    Making your bedroom into a safe, comforting sanctuary is a wonderful way to help ease insomnia.

    Getting to Sleep

    Acupressure

    Acupressure works by removing energy blockages in your body and restoring the flow of qi (life energy) throughout your body. This renewed flow of the life force helps bring a sense of calm and balance to your body, mind, and spirit, paving the way to a good night’s sleep.

    One of the most effective acupressure points for insomnia is called “The Spirit Gate.”

    To find this point, place your right thumb on the horizontal crease of your left wrist, in line with your little finger. Press or massage the point gently for a minute or two while you breathe deep into your belly. Repeat on the other hand.

    Continue, alternating sides, until you feel both your body and spirit relax.

    Qigong

    This technique is my favorite stress-buster. I often use it after a long, hard day to ease the tension in my body and soothe my anxious spirit. It comes from The Qigong Workbook for Anxiety, by Master Kam Chuen Lam, and is called “Overwhelmed, Lying Down, in the Middle of the Night.”

    Begin by lying on your back in bed, arms at your sides. While your heels remain on the bed, lift your toes so your feet are at right angles to your legs and you feel a stretch up the back of your legs.

    Turn your palms toward your thighs. Clench your fists and curl them inward until you feel a stretch in your wrists. As you squeeze your fists as tightly as possible, lift your head and look at your toes. Breathe in and hold your breath to a count of four. Then breathe out with a whoosh, relaxing your body at the same time.

    I suggest you repeat this pose up to six times or until you’re fully relaxed and ready to drift off to sleep.

    The Sacred Hours

    If you’re like me, you may have had no trouble getting to sleep but find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night. And if you’re a worrier like me, you can lie awake for hours, worrying about the undone project at work, the annoying thing your sister said, or the strange noise your car’s been making.

    Worst of all is the fear there’s something’s wrong with you and that you’ll never sleep again. Believe me, I know all about the vicious cycle of worry leading to insomnia and insomnia leading to more worry.

    What broke that cycle for me was learning that waking up in the middle of the night is a perfectly normal function of the human body. Believe it or not, before the invention of the light bulb brought us artificial light, people traditionally slept in two distinct segments.

    The first segment of sleep began in the early evening (starting between 7:00pm and 8:00pm). This first sleep was followed by a wakeful period of a few hours in the middle of the night (usually around midnight) and was followed by a second sleep through morning.

    For thousands of years, people used this time to think, pray, read, or even go visiting. Today research suggests that the time between those sleep segments is a good time to meditate, create, and imagine.

    Once I understood that segmented sleep was normal, I stopped yelling at myself for being awake, and I stopped trying to force myself to sleep. Instead, I began using those wakeful hours as an opportunity to reimagine my environment, rethink my self-care, and reconnect with both my spirit and my creativity.

    How about you? Does the idea of segmented sleep change the way you feel about your insomnia? Can you think of any way you could use that time to improve your life?

    Here are some techniques I use that you might find helpful. Try them all and see what works best for you.

    Meditate

    If you already have a meditation practice, this quiet time is perfect for making a connection with your inner spirit.

    If you don’t know how to mediate or find meditation difficult, just start noticing your breath as it moves in and out of your body. With each inhale, focus on the word “in.” With each exhale, focus on the word “out.” Notice how cool the air is as you breathe in and how warm the breath is as you breathe out. As you continue breathing, notice how, over time, your body relaxes and continues to sink deep into an ever-growing sense of peace.

    If you have trouble meditating on your own, listen to a guided meditation CD or app.

    Think Positive

    Instead of spending time reliving all the missteps and mistakes you’ve made in the past, why not use this time to focus on all the things that have gone well?

    If you don’t know where to begin, here are some prompts I use to get started:

    I’m glad I tried…

    I’m proud that I…

    I’m thankful for…

    I’m happy I have….

    I love being with…

    I appreciate …

    I had fun…

    I savored….

    All right, maybe you’re going through a tough time. Maybe you’re dealing with a recent loss or are facing a difficult challenge, and you’re struggling to find a single thing to be grateful for.

    Don’t give up. I promise you, no matter how bad things seem right now, there’s something in your life to be grateful for. Look for small joys, moments of pleasure, or unexpected beauty.

    Are you grateful for the warmth of your bed? Or that you have a great support system? Maybe you’ve recently enjoyed a great meal or heard a song that you liked. Be gentle with yourself. Just coming up with one or two things you appreciate can make a big difference in how you feel and how you sleep.

    If things are going well in your life, why not make a game of seeing how many things you can come up with to be grateful for? Can you find ten things to celebrate? A hundred? More?

    A positive shift in your thinking brings an inner sense of calm that can help you ease into a restful sleep.

    Forgive

    What if you used this peaceful time to let go of an old hurt, anger, hate, or shame? The burdens you’ve been carrying around for so long weigh you down. Releasing them can make your life easier and your sleep more restful.

    Think a minute. Is there someone you could forgive? Is there a situation you would like to put behind you? Do you need to forgive yourself?

    If you’re ready to release this old pain, begin by focusing on the person or situation you would like to forgive or let go. When you bring it, or them, to mind, what do you feel in your body? Where do you feel it?

    To let go of that pain, put your hand over the place in your body where that pain lives. Now, imagine that pain is slowly dissolving under the heat of your hand and draining out of your body into the ground below. As you breathe out, let go of those old hurts. As you breathe in, welcome a new sense of light and love.

    Continue until you feel a deep sense of calm and you gently drift towards sleep.

    Get Up

    Finally, if you still can’t sleep, consider getting up and doing something restful or creative.

    This is not a time to tackle a work project, answer emails, clean, or do anything that causes you stress. This is a time to explore who you are and to get in touch with your heart and your soul.

    Relax

    Sip a cup of herbal tea. Read something that uplifts your heart. Do a puzzle. Knit. Gaze up at the stars. Follow the path of the moon across the sky. Just sit and soak in the peace and quiet. Try a yoga pose or two if that feels relaxing, or maybe take a warm shower to help ease any muscles that feel tense.

    Create

    This is also a great time to write or draw in a journal. (It’s better to go old school here and use a paper and pen. The blue light from a personal device can keep you awake.)

    You could also use this time to sketch, write music, write a poem, or try your hand at that novel you’ve always wanted to write. (But no working on anything that causes you stress. The idea here is to enjoy the act of creation, not to judge or critique your work.)

    Another idea is to write a letter of gratitude to someone who helped you when you needed it or a letter of encouragement to someone who could use a kind word. Or you could write a letter of encouragement and support to yourself.

    Reassess

    After twenty minutes, check back in with your body. How is it feeling? Are your shoulders relaxed? How about your belly? Your jaw?

    If you’re feeling physically relaxed and emotionally calm, try going back to bed. If you’re still tense, wait another twenty minutes, then check in again. At that point, no matter how you feel, climb back into bed for twenty minutes knowing that it’s perfectly normal to still be awake, and that you will eventually fall into a deep, restful sleep.

    —

    No matter what’s keeping you awake at night, there’s always a way to bring some light into the darkness, to care for your heart and soul with kindness, and to love yourself through the night.

  • 4 Things You Need to Hear When You’re Emotionally Exhausted

    4 Things You Need to Hear When You’re Emotionally Exhausted

    “Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola

    You’re on the verge of burnout.

    You’re unmotivated to perform even the simplest of tasks. You’re physically and emotionally isolated. Slight annoyances cause you to snap.

    You may be blaming your work, other people, or circumstances. But if you dig a little deeper, you may be surprised to learn that your own choices have led to emotional exhaustion. This is good news because it means that you can alleviate your own pain without the permission or blessing of another person.

    In my junior year of college, I experienced a bout of intense mental and emotional exhaustion. I was pursuing two demanding majors and the heavy workload had finally caught up with me.

    Desperate to find a way to motivate myself to finish college, I bought Tony Robbins’ Personal Power motivational program after watching his infomercial on late night television.

    As I delved into the lessons, I fully expected Tony Robbins to motivate me back to good emotional health. Instead, I learned that I needed to take full responsibility for my emotional state. I learned that I had all the tools I needed to nurse myself back to emotional and spiritual health.

    When I was emotionally exhausted, I realized that my own body was trying to communicate its needs to me. I just needed to listen.

    If you’re on the brink of burnout, here are some things your body may be trying to tell you:

    1. You need to trust your intuition.

    I started college as a music major. Though I’d always had a passion for music, I decided to take on computer science as well in order to be practical.

    I still remember the day I made that decision. It was the second day of classes and panic had set in. I kept having the thought “I’ll never be able to support myself as a musician.” The stereotype of the struggling artist was burned into my brain.

    As I rushed to my academic advisor’s office that morning, I told myself I was making a rational choice. I did well at math and science in high school and it only made sense to build on these skills in order to secure a good paying job.

    Intuitively, I knew I was wrong. I already knew deep down that I would not enjoy studying computer science. I knew that I could trust my musical gifts to create income. But I decided to ignore my intuition and went with the rational choice instead. My emotional exhaustion was the price I paid for choosing this path.

    While I completed both degrees in the end, it is my music degree that provides my income and enjoyment.

    Are you currently pursuing something you know isn’t right for you? Are you exhausted by the emotional conflict created in choosing what’s practical versus what you love? Do you lack motivation because your life is devoid of joy, fulfillment, or meaning? Your exhaustion may be an invitation to trust your own intuition.

    2. It’s okay to ask for help.

    As an international student studying in the U.S., I often felt alone. My family and support systems were far away. I underestimated how vulnerable I would feel being in a different culture. My initial reaction to this vulnerability was to fool myself into thinking I could go it alone.

    In the Personal Power program, I learned that we need to feel connected to others in order to feel alive. By denying my vulnerability and my need for connection, I suffered mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Once I’d suffered enough, I decided to embrace my vulnerability and reach out to others. It made all the difference.

    Emotional exhaustion can leave one feeling intensely vulnerable. It can be hard to ask for help for fear of being viewed as a failure or as someone who is unable to manage their own lives. But in your exhaustion is the presence of a deep truth: It’s okay to ask for help because you were never meant to go it alone.

    3. Be patient.

    Collectively, we’ve lost our capacity for patience. Our deepest needs are constantly being eclipsed by our immediate wants. And all the while we struggle to tell the difference.

    During my college years, I was very ambitious academically. There’s nothing wrong with ambition. But when unbalanced, ambition can give way to disillusionment and emotional burnout.

    My desire for success left me feeling impatient. I took full course loads every semester. I rarely made time for leisure, play, and rest. I’d given up my need for balance in favor of assured academic success.

    But my emotional exhaustion was a wake up call that this strategy was not working. It was a sign that I needed to slow down, reorder my priorities, and think about success more holistically.

    Are you currently on the fast track to emotional exhaustion? It may be time to slow down.

    4. Surrender.

    In my quest to be in full control of my future and ensure my happiness, I nearly burned out in college.

    My emotional exhaustion was an invitation to face the reality that I don’t control everything.

    In his book The Surrender Experiment, Michael Singer poses this question:

    “Am I better off making up an alternative reality in my mind and then fighting with reality to make it be my way, or am I better off letting go of what I want and serving the same forces of reality that managed to create the entire perfection of the universe around me?”

    After years of fighting, I decided to trust in forces larger than myself. I still worked and studied hard, but I also gradually let go the expectations and pressures I’d created for myself. I created space for leisure, rest, and personal development.

    Sometimes the only thing you can do when you’re emotionally exhausted is to surrender. Befriend it and allow the process to be part of your healing.

    Are You Listening?

    Next time you’re feeling emotionally exhausted, treat it as an opportunity to listen to yourself.

    You don’t need to tough it out, double down, or assign blame.

    Just take some time out to listen, reflect, and respond.

    You won’t regret it.

    Stressed man image via Shutterstock

  • 40 Ways to Give Yourself a Break

    40 Ways to Give Yourself a Break

    “Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu

    It’s common among overachiever types: We like to push ourselves.

    Sometimes it’s to get from A to B. Sometimes it’s to create the illusion of change when really, you’re just spinning your wheels. Sometimes it’s simply to avoid standing still and accepting the moment as it is.

    All that pushing can feel so smart and productive—until you’re exhausted, overextended, overwhelmed, or otherwise ready to snap. I’ve felt all these things before.

    There are days when I try to be everything to everyone and do more than I can reasonably accomplish, but I know there’s only so much my body, mind, and spirit can take.

    Since it never seems to work to shout, “Stop the world, I want to get off,” I’ve come up with a few simple ways to give myself a break when I need it.

    If you feel physically, mentally, emotionally, or even digitally exhausted, these tips may help: (more…)

  • Stop Pushing Yourself: 10 Crucial Steps to Avoid Burnout

    Stop Pushing Yourself: 10 Crucial Steps to Avoid Burnout

    “I actually think burnout is the wrong description of it. I think it’s ‘burn up.’ Physiologically, that is what you are doing because of the chronic stress being placed on your body.” ~Richard Boyatzis

    Some years ago, when my mother told me that a friend of hers had experienced burnout, I didn’t really listen. Actually, I didn’t want to hear about it. I even felt irritated because she felt sorry for people who got burned out.

    My opinion was that they were just being ridiculous and exaggerating.

    It was an excuse, supported by a medical certificate from some doctor they knew well, so that they could stay home, plant basil in the garden, drink tea, and read good books in front of the fire. They were simply lazy folks who just couldn’t be bothered working.

    Some lessons are learned the hard way. Others, really hard. A last few change you for life.

    For me, burnout was life-changing; it turned my aggressive skepticism into factual knowledge. Almost annihilated by the beast of burnout, I’ve recovered, humbled and grateful to be alive.

    The other day I sat down and flipped through my journals from the past years. It was overwhelming. I felt so heartbreakingly sad for myself, for what I’ve put myself through.

    There was page after page of me worrying about alarming issues and symptoms I was experiencing, for a period of several years. There were lists of points I raised with my doctor, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. He kept saying the same thing over and over, but it was impossible for me to take it in.

    He said, “Be careful, Mrs. Torneryd. You have all the symptoms of a textbook burnout.” My answer was always the same: “I cannot get burned out. It can’t happen to me; I’m not that type of person.”

    Some of the points from my diary:

    • When in bed, I can’t remember if I’ve brushed my teeth.
    • I feel panic while driving; other cars are getting too close to me.
    • My skin is a mess, and my hair looks dead.
    • I’ve experienced three double-sided pneumonias over the past eleven months.
    • I have constant ringing in my ears.
    • Even when I sleep, I don’t let my head rest on the pillow.
    • I wake up around twenty times per night (cramp, sweat, pee).
    • I feel pressure over my chest, and I can’t breathe properly.
    • My heart is very often offbeat.
    • My intestines are destroyed; I look eight months pregnant ten minutes after every meal. I even pooped myself in the super-market—with no premonition.
    • My gallstones are stuck in the bile duct, requiring surgery.

    I was in a constant state of “I can’t do this anymore,” but there was nothing major I could change for instant relief. It was a combination of circumstances: the aftermath of bad choices, my workload, and my competitive character.

    Every part of me—body, mind, and soul—was desperate to stop the life-drenching feeling of having nothing left in me to give or take from. I was wasted, worn-out, and destroyed.

    Even so, I just kept going, repeating to myself, “When you’re down and out, there’s always 20% of your strength left” (a quote from martial art trainer). And I kept using my remaining strength over and over again.

    People talk about “hitting the wall.” I hit that wall about five years ago—full speed, head first.

    Since then, I’ve been forcing forward through concrete, screws, electric wires, and bricks. Then it happened: I made it through that thick wall, only to realize that on the other side was nothing but a fathomless, evil black hole. I fell until I crash landed, and then there was nothing left of me.

    On the 17th of February 2014, my body collapsed. I had my first full-blown panic attack, immediately followed by a second one.

    At first, it felt like my spine muscle cramped. I tried stretching and rubbing against a door post, in vain. I couldn’t breathe properly.

    My lungs started pumping frenetically, and I could do nothing to stop it. It felt like I was suffocating. I seriously thought that I was having a heart attack and would die. Eventually, I passed out.

    I finally accepted the message my body had been trying to communicate to me for years—I needed to make monumental changes in my situation, then and there, or I would lose my sanity, at the least.

    For the first four weeks of my sick leave, I did nothing but sleep. It was not by choice. I simply collapsed—on the sofa, my bed, and even on the floor. I just couldn’t stay awake.

    After the sleep marathon came sadness. I felt so incredibly sad, alone, and abandoned. I felt betrayed by society and my employer.

    When I didn’t feel any more sadness, I started my healing journey to peace and acceptance and began reading self-help books. Every day I made an effort to rescue myself.

    Eventually, a shift took place. Step-by-step, I built myself a ladder, careful not to go back to the wall I’d fallen out of, and I started to see the light at the top of that horrid black hole.

    You don’t need to push yourself to this point—not if you follow these steps to avoid an imminent burnout:

    1. Accept your limits.

    It is not admirable to push yourself when your body and mind beg you to stop.

    2. Clarify major energy thieves and avoid them.

    Limit your contact with people who drain you, make hurtful comments, and complain. Pay your bills on time. Clean your home so you feel calm there, not stressed and surrounded by chaos. Eat fresh food and spend less time distracting yourself with technology.

    3. Value yourself first.

    Fear of rejection is also self-rejection; stop worrying about others’ opinions.

    4. Get support and perspective.

    Trust someone close with your feelings and challenges.

    5. Ask for help.

    It actually feels quite wonderful to receive.

    6. Make choices that are good for you and make you happier, healthier, and stronger.

    Get enough sleep to keep cortisol (the stress hormone) levels down, and don’t skip breakfast!

    7. Get twenty minutes of sun every day.

    This gives your body the Vitamin D it needs to function properly, though you can also get it from a supplement.

    8. Get low-impact exercise three times per week.

    When we exercise, the brain releases the “happy hormone” endorphin.

    9. Don’t push yourself too far for the sake of progress.

    Strive to improve, but never push yourself if you feel it’s hurting you.

    10. Never ignore your intuition.

    Listen to your body and do all you can to be kind to yourself.

    Obviously, burnout is not some fake thing lazy folks pretend to have so they can stay home from work.

    It is a force that can knock you out completely, making it difficult to deal with the simplest of tasks, like taking a shower or cooking a meal; and almost impossible to handle normal things, like leaving your home, shopping for food, and answering phone calls.

    I officially apologize for all my previously judgmental thoughts on this area.

    You don’t get burned out because you’re too weak. You get burned out because you’ve tried to stay strong for way too long!

  • 6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion

    6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion

    Sleeping Man

    “We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.” ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana

    You know that feeling just as something bad is happening that you can’t control, when your stomach does a backflip, lurches up into your throat, and then drops into your toes?

    I experienced it one day snapping back to full consciousness as my car glided off the left shoulder of the freeway and spun in a full 360-degree circle on the gravel.

    I’d logged a very busy week at work, been to a music group practice, done some freelance editing, and gone for a few runs in preparation for a marathon. Now I was headed to a weekend event with my spiritual community.

    There I was, zipping down the freeway in the fast lane on a crisp and sunny fall morning. I felt drowsy, so I flipped on the car radio to keep myself alert.

    In retrospect, I should have also sung along at the top of my lungs. Or, you know, pulled off the road to rest. But I didn’t want to be late for the start of the gathering.

    The last thing I remember thinking was “There aren’t any cars close by. I’ll just close my eyes for a second or two.”

    Superhero Syndrome

    Ever been so exhausted you can’t think straight?

    Do any of these sound familiar?

    • “There’s too much to do—I can’t afford to stop and rest.”
    • “I can’t ask for help—I’m the only one who will make sure this gets done right.”
    • “I have to finish this. [Person or group] is depending on me.”

    Thoughts like these have become frighteningly common. We think we need to do it all, so we push ourselves way past our limits. I call this “Superhero Syndrome.”

    And it’s not just unhealthy. It’s downright dangerous.

    Excessive fatigue is epidemic in our society. According to a 2011 National Sleep Foundation poll, close to half of Americans between thirteen and sixty-four say they rarely or never get a good night’s sleep during the work week.

    Exhaustion can lead to all sorts of problems, from impaired performance, poor immune system function, and increased risk of obesity to stroke, diabetes, and heart disease.

    Not to mention car accidents.

    The first step in avoiding exhaustion—as with most problems—is self-awareness. You need to check in with yourself regularly to see if you’re overdoing it.

    The second step is figuring out what to do about it if you are.

    The standard advice is true: If you’re overtired, stop what you’re doing and rest or sleep.

    Draw firm boundaries around your time and energy by learning to say no to people, things—and sometimes yourself.

    Practice good sleep hygiene and try to get a full night’s sleep every night.

    But there are times when, despite our best intentions, we don’t—or can’t—do these things. What then?

    6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion

    1. Ditch the traditional nightly sleep cycle.

    If a straight eight hours doesn’t do it for you, consider this: some researchers suspect we’re not wired for it anyway. They say that prehistoric humans slept for about four hours, woke up for a while, and went back to sleep again until dawn.

    Others have noted different sleep patterns across cultures, from the midday siesta to countries where multiple naps are the norm.

    Experiment and see if changing up your sleep periods makes a difference.

    2. Do the opposite of whatever you’ve been doing.

    If you’ve been pushing yourself physically, it’s no surprise that you should stop and rest or take a nap, or go to bed early.

    But if you’ve been pushing yourself mentally, go do something physical. Take a walk, do some stretching, or run an errand. Bodily movement will clear your head, get your blood flowing, and help bring you back into balance.

    3. Hit that snooze alarm without guilt.

    I’ve used a trick to psych myself out for years. I work backward from the time I want to wake up, factor in two snooze alarm periods, and set my clock for that earlier time.

    The result? I get a brief but lovely time in which to feel a little bit decadent. “I wish I didn’t have to get up now. Oh, wait—I don’t have to!”

    4. Pretend you’ve just woken up.

    Another mental trick—as you’re going to bed at night, tell yourself it’s morning.

    Imagine what it would feel like to go through an entire day, starting right now. Think about all that physical and mental effort. You can even do (just a few!) jumping jacks or deep stretches to give your muscles a brief sense of fatigue.

    How many times have you said to yourself, “I just wish I could go back to sleep for another eight hours”?

    Now go “back” to sleep for another eight hours.

    5. Ask for help.

    You’d think this tip wouldn’t qualify as “surprising,” yet sadly, for many of us, it does.

    When you suffer from Superhero Syndrome, you’re usually under the impression that everything on your to-do list has to be done by you.

    Granted, you may not be in the position to hire a personal staff to assist you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for some help when you need it.

    As a fellow Superhero Syndrome sufferer, I know this is scary. But experience has shown me that when people value and care about you, they’re usually very happy to help. They won’t see you as weak or needy, but as someone who is strong enough to advocate for your own needs.

    Asking your spouse or partner to handle the kids for a while so you can take a break does not mean you don’t love your kids. It means you love them enough to want to give them your best, fully rested self.

    Requesting backup at work does not mean you’ll be seen as incompetent. It means you care about producing the best results possible, and that you’re secure enough to let others assist you with that.

    So go ahead and ask for support. You may very well be surprised by the result.

    6. Make a to-do list for tomorrow.

    Before bed, take five minutes to think about the next day and make some notes for yourself.

    For small tasks like calling the doctor, getting gas for the car, or picking up ingredients for dinner, writing them down or entering them into whatever device you use to track things reassures your mind, and you’ll be able to release them for the night.

    For longer-range projects, choose one small thing you can do to move them forward tomorrow.

    The idea here is that by making note of something in a place you know you’ll see it frees up your mind to relax into truly restful sleep.

    Don’t Try to Be a Superhero

    I was extremely lucky that day I fell asleep and drove off the road. A few passing drivers gave me very shocked looks as they whizzed by, but I didn’t crash into any of them. I recovered quickly enough to nudge my car back onto the road (and drive to the next exit, where I pulled over and sat there shaking for a while.)

    The most enduring result of that day has been that I now realize when I’m too tired to be safe or effective. On good days, I notice sooner and take steps to reverse the trend.

    If you’re suffering from Superhero Syndrome and trying to do too much, don’t push yourself to (or worse, past) the point of exhaustion. You may not be as lucky as I was.

    Also, just plain old “being happier and more rested” is nice, too.

    Sleeping man image via Shutterstock

  • 3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days

    3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days

    Low Energy

    “Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown

    A few months ago I woke up with what my good friend and I call “the rage.” I was automatically annoyed by the tone of people’s emails in my inbox. I was frustrated by the lack of response from others. My tea tasted too strong. I felt cooped up in the house. Need I go on?

    So I went to the gym to increase my endorphins. I figured that a good workout would be the perfect cure-all.

    It wasn’t. I left my HIIT (high intensity interval training) pleasantly exhausted but still agitated.

    Then I sat down to get into a Zen-like state with my life coach. I trusted that together we could get to the bottom of whatever this wonky energy was all about.

    I cried, releasing beautiful misunderstandings about current business relationships. It was an incredibly healing session, and I hung up the phone thinking it was such a relief to know where this negative energy was coming from. But the lightness I usually experienced at the end of a session was nowhere to be found.

    Instead, I felt sad and lonely.

    It was in that moment, hanging up the phone from my coach, that I realized I needed to stop trying to fix my low-energy day. There was no one reason I was feeling this way. It wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do; it just was, and it was time for me to be okay with that.

    The only place I had heard of such acceptance was within my Human Design studies, so I picked up a book.

    According to Human Design, most of us have what is considered to be an “emotional authority.”

    This means that we tend to let our emotions rule our decisions, and we can easily make rash decisions just to end the emotional turmoil we feel. Or, to the opposite extreme, we can say yes in an effort to hold onto an exciting expectation.

    Most notably, our emotional authority is an energy that constantly moves through us in a wave pattern. Sometimes the wave is up and we feel great, and sometimes the wave is down and we feel off or have low energy.

    I’ve learned that the key is not to focus solely on our high-energy feelings, or to get rid of our low energy. The key as Buddha says, is for us to find “the middle way.”

    Release attachment to either end of the spectrum and find the still point. That is where emotional clarity lies.

    Thus, on that day a few months back, I asked myself to stop pushing. I stopped pushing the negative emotions away and I stopped pushing myself into a more positive high.

    Instead, I honored and acknowledged my wonky feelings in these three ways.

    1. Self-pampering.

    I hugged myself. I sat on the floor in my living room and circled my arms around my knees. Then, when I was ready, I went out to get a hot yummy drink at the coffee shop down the street.

    I let my to-do list fly out the window, and I gave my body and my mind my full attention. I did a lot of journal writing that day. I like journaling when I can, and it helped me explore areas where I could really stand up for myself in my business and in my relationships.

    2. The twenty-four-hour rule.

    I released myself from making any big decisions. I knew my energy was all over the place, and the key was to wait for clarity. Thus, I gave myself a twenty-four-hour rule. I wouldn’t make any big decisions until 9:00AM the next day, at the earliest.

    This wonky, negative energy was here for me to explore and learn from. It was still too early to start sharing a new truth. I couldn’t expect myself to grasp my learnings well enough to articulate them to others, nor could I expect myself to be in a place to take feedback neutrally. Not yet, anyway.

    This rule gave me the freedom to explore what I really wanted.

    3. Judgment-free space.

    I deemed my home, my body, and the three-foot bubble around me wherever I went to be my judgment-free space. There was nothing good or bad, right or wrong about my low-energy day. It was here for me, as an amazingly imperfect human being, to experience.

    This allowed me to embrace it and learn from it. It was no one’s fault. There was nothing wrong with me for feeling this way. It wasn’t going to last forever, and everyone would still love me in the morning.

    When I woke up at 7:00AM the next day, I felt refreshed. The rage and negative energy were gone, and I could also see clearly how I wanted to proceed in my business relationships.

    A huge sigh escaped my lips. I had allowed myself to be a part of the day’s adventure. Instead of fighting it or allowing it to take over my life for who knows how long, I had loved my low energy.

    Which of these three self-honoring actions will you try when you have a low-energy, “rage” day?

    Photo by rklopfer

  • Dealing with Exhaustion: How to Function Better When You’re Tired

    Dealing with Exhaustion: How to Function Better When You’re Tired

    I’ve written about ways to get better sleep, and yet I am writing this post from a state of exhaustion.

    Despite knowing all the right things to do, sometimes it’s difficult to follow through.

    You can have the most calming, zen bedroom, and still toss and turn because of an ache or something on your mind. You can avoid stimulants and start unwinding early in the evening, and still wake up to the sound of a blaring siren at 2:00 AM.

    Sometimes the best laid plan can fall apart when you can’t seem to remove that pea from under your mattress. It will happen on occasion—hopefully less often than not, but from time to time at best.

    How can you function when it’s just not possible to call in sick and tired to life? How can you make it through the work day with minimal damage to your health, mood, relationships, and job?

    I have a few ideas, but first, in the interest of full disclosure: I have more flexibility than the average person might, since I work from home and make my own schedule. Hopefully these ideas represent a balanced mix for people who have flexibility and people who don’t: (more…)

  • 9 Ways to Get Better Sleep and Prevent Exhaustion

    9 Ways to Get Better Sleep and Prevent Exhaustion

    Sleeping

    “A good rest is half the work.” ~Proverb

    I don’t always do everything I know I should do.

    I know I can only do so much, yet I often feel compelled to say yes to every exciting project that comes my way, even if it means working more than is ideal.

    I know I shouldn’t over-stimulate my mind at night, yet I frequently postpone shut-eye for just a little more writing time.

    I know I shouldn’t worry about things I can’t control, but sometimes as I lay in bed I go over and over the same thoughts and concerns in my head.

    And then there’s the whole eight-hours-of-sleep-a-night thing. I know it’s ideal for my well-being and that it probably won’t happen if I’m overworked, overstimulated, or caught up in over-thinking.

    But sometimes I set myself up for exhaustion because sleep rarely seems like a priority. Not when there’s stuff to do, stuff to learn, or stuff to think about.

    I know I’m not alone in my battle with the bed.

    According to a 2009 National Sleep Foundation survey, the number of people reporting sleep problems has increased by 13% since 2001. Two out of every ten Americans sleep less than six hours per night.

    Most of them are less effective at work, less alert when driving, and more susceptible to sickness as a result. (more…)