Tag: enjoy

Enjoying Our Passions Instead of Focusing on Status and Approval

“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown

The year that I graduated from college with my undergraduate degree, I was beyond enthusiastic about being a teacher.

I was absolutely confident that I was a very gifted communicator and that I had a great deal to offer to the field of education. In reality, I had no idea how right I was, yet how different my path would be from what I expected.

For me, work was not just a “J-O-B”; however, my first school job was incredibly disappointing for me. The students were apathetic, my colleagues were unimpressed with me, and at the end of the year I was crushed when I received an average performance review.

When I switched schools, under the impression that a change of scenery would improve my experience, I somehow carried with me in my bag of tricks the same perfectionism and tendency to overwork that had poisoned my first experience.

To my frustrated mind, it was as though my previous school’s faculty had gone backstage, changed costumes, and reappeared in new garb to undermine me.

That year, I was so determined to make a name for myself locally that I worked myself into an almost hysterical state of constant anxiety and busy-ness.

Responding to every emergency, I took on all the weaknesses of the struggling school system in an effort to feel important and indispensable. I thought great teachers could work miracles. Again, I was right—but not in the way that I assumed.

Ironically, the intensity and drive that I brought to my teaching did nothing to increase its impact or my prestige.

My people-pleasing was not only compromising my professional effectiveness, but it was also causing me to continue to look outside of myself, to my principal, my students, and my colleagues, for affirmation—something that I could only give myself.

However, the worst part was that I had begun to resent my students, because they became the symbol of my exhaustion. I turned in my resignation at the end of that school year with a sinking feeling of defeat.

How was I, the star of my college graduating class, rapidly becoming a statistic of teacher attrition?

That summer, I applied for new teaching positions relentlessly as unemployment loomed before me, but I wondered if the problem was the job—or me.

I researched graduate school obsessively, continually looking for the next right thing that would launch me into professional happiness. However, all roads were dead ends.

I didn’t realize it, but the emptiness and anger were having a profound impact on my ego, as I was no longer sure that I had anything special to offer education or culture, let alone a confidence that my ideas were as valuable as anyone else’s contributions to the world.

Most importantly, I was beginning to question the purpose of work and vocation in my life for the first time. I asked myself, “What do I want to do?” instead of, “What should I do?”

I completed an extensive career workbook that allowed me to take an honest look at my spiritual motives for working, and I realized that my relationship to work was based on my desire for recognition—a gift that I could grant myself simply by believing in the unique value that I brought to the educational world.

My addiction to achievement, education, and status had defined me for so long that my newfound non-identity, professionally, was intensely quieting.

While I was in this space of self-exploration and laying the groundwork for a major career change, however, I was unexpectedly offered an interview at a very appealing private school.

Ironically, by that time, I was simply interviewing as a last-ditch effort to use my existing education degree before I became a fitness instructor or got a degree in counseling.

On the interview, I was casually frank and personable—I did not use the PowerPoint presentation that I had brought on my computer to all of my other failed interviews. I simply talked about my passion for my subject with directness, humor, and energy.

Then, of course, I got the job—and, surprisingly, there was a mix of disappointment in my excitement.

I had barely attained serenity without my “teacher” mortarboard, and then the universe returned that role to me. That’s when the two years of experience that I had sown, planted in frustration, and watered with anger and emptiness began to flower.

Because I was less emotionally invested than I ever had been before, I found myself creating ways to rearrange my working time at my new school so that I could do more teaching and exploration of my fascinating subject, and less codependent overworking.

I began to experience more “flow” states, of being totally engaged in my teaching. Also, I had developed numerous hobbies, such as writing, from my period of unemployment, and I continued to enjoy them.

I said “no” more than I ever had at any other job. I was late occasionally, I risked people’s disappointment, and I stood up for myself. In other words, I took my job, and myself, a lot less seriously.

I had finally taken myself off my self-created pedestal and joined my coworkers as a more relatable person, and for the first time ever I felt connected to the people around me, and the relationships allowed my unique and talented voice to be heard in the workplace in the way that I had always wanted.

Best of all, I realized late that first autumn that I truly loved my students and my subject—fortunately, somewhere along my winding path I had left behind that bitter version of myself that resented the young people who depended on me most.

Work, now, isn’t all about what I should do or what I have to do—now in the mix there’s a healthy dose of what I want to do. My passion is a precious gift that I should share with the people around me, not hoard in order to obtain status.

My valuable voice is heard best when I am surrounded by a caring, connected community, and that circle is not available to me when I overwork and isolate myself.

For me, being a human being in the workplace means that I make mistakes, and that those flaws connect me with the people around me.

I’ve learned that we don’t always have to make major career changes to become content with our work. We may only need to appreciate the energy that flows from what we do, and stop looking outside of ourselves for affirmation of our uniqueness and worth.

Photo by camdiluv

January 1, 2014
Letting Go of Stubbornness: Appreciate Your Loved Ones While You Can

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today. “ ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski

My brother Greg and I were the closest of friends growing up, even if you weigh in the occasional tiff or disagreement we sometimes had.

We discovered our favorite toys together as kids, rode bikes side by side, and conquered video games as a two-man team. Even well into our teenage years, we were an inseparable pair, always looking out for one another.

The fact that our father died of a brain tumor when we were young had forged a deep understanding between us. I remember us crying together in our mother’s arms when we got the news, soaking her chest with tears. We both knew without saying a word that we’d need one another to lean on in the years to come.

My Brother’s Keeper

One day Greg and I were out in the woods in the wintertime with our grandfather and uncle when we happened upon a small river. A collapsed tree had fallen over it, which offered the only visible means of crossing. So with the adults behind me and my brother in front, we set about making it to the other side.

Somewhere around the halfway point, Greg slipped and fell into the river. Instinctually, I yelled out, “Hang on, Greg! I’m coming!” and immediately dove in after him. Once in the river, I was able to lift him back toward the fallen tree, where Grandpa pulled him the rest of the way up, followed by me.

The river might not have been deep enough to drown him, but it didn’t really matter to me. My brother was in trouble, and the last place I wanted to be was out of his reach. Jumping in with him put us both in the same predicament, fighting our way out together—the same as it was when our father died.

And Greg more than returned the favor one day, when a kid from the neighborhood pulled a bow and arrow back at pointed it at me. Without even hesitating, Greg stood directly in front of me and said, “If you’re gonna kill my brother, you have to kill me first.” The kid slowly released the bow, dropped his arrow, and ran away.

Two Of A Kind

We were cut from the same cloth, my brother and I. Our love and courage for one another knew no limits or bounds. But like most brothers, we often found ourselves at odds over the most trivial of things.

We argued about toys, had screaming matches over who would get to keep the prize from a cereal box, and even punched each other out once over a video game.

Being cut from the same cloth could also mean a mutual stubbornness during disagreements. And though we always seemed to work things out, a day arrived when we would no longer have that luxury.

Pain Is A Teacher

Greg and I were going through another one of our tiffs in the fall of 1997 (we weren’t exactly burning mad at each other, but we hadn’t been speaking much, either), when I was awoken by a phone call from my grandmother one morning.

She told me that my brother had been hit head-on by a drunk driver the night before…and was killed instantly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

After I hung up the phone, I screamed and wailed for nearly two hours straight. I just couldn’t articulate my pain any other way. There was such a strong bond between me and Greg that I felt like half of my body had been cut in half.

And on top of the pain of losing him, I was reminded of that one final argument we never got to resolve. It took me years before I stopped thinking about it and began to appreciate the valuable lesson life had taught me.

An Open Challenge

I’m a lot more cautious these days about leaving things unresolved with people I love, or with anyone else for that matter. Life is short. We’re all given a set amount of days in which to enjoy this life and appreciate one another—and none of us know just how much time we actually have left.

Today is the time to work out our differences and disputes with the people we love, and to ask ourselves an important question: Is my stubbornness really worth it? Is it possible that I’ve been making a big deal out of something trivial—a position that I’d feel awful about if this person died tomorrow?

I hear stories all the time from people who never got to tell a parent how much they loved them before they passed, and even siblings who never buried the ax before it was too late. Regret is one of the hardest things in the world to live with.

Challenge yourself to resolve an issue with someone you’ve been feuding with for a long time, especially if it’s a family member or friend. Let them know they mean much more to you than your old stubborn position in a past argument.

Photo by Fovea Centralis

November 7, 2013
Learning to Enjoy the Process and Stop Worrying About the Outcome
“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you” ~John De Paula

Remember the Tasmanian Devil?

That crazed Loony Tunes cartoon character spinning out of control, crashing into everything in his path? Arriving in a blur. Leaving chaos in its wake.

That was pretty much me and my approach to “living my passion.”

This is hard to write but here goes (deep breath)…

Not too long ago I was seriously trying to accomplish all of these things at the same time:
- Play in a rock and roll band of middle aged men living in New York City, rehearse regularly, play live shows, tour, and still play dad to a family of four.
- Engineer and produce our own albums while simultaneously attempting to produce other artists to help them realize their artistic vision
- Start my own blog to inspire awesomeness in other creators
- Guest post for major blogs and write epic content regularly to help their audience and build up my own blog audience
- Shoot my own videos, create graphics, and edit them (though I have little to no skills in any of these areas) for my blog
- Write a novel and multiple eBooks
- Design cool music themed apps
- Stay gainfully employed (a day job I desperately wanted to quit to make more time for all of the above)
- Practice meditation and find the deeper meaning to my life
The idea was that my brilliant plan would eventually pay off and sustain my family completely so that I could:
- Pay a New York City mortgage
- Put food on the table
- Make time for my two young children
- Spend some quality alone time with my wife and stay married
- Have the freedom to create more awesome art
So how did that all work out, you might ask. Total disaster. Here’s a glimpse into my crazy Tazmanian lifestyle:

I would commute to my day gig and write blog posts while standing up on crowded subway cars. I’d come home and have a quick dinner, hang out with the children, and pretend to listen as they would excitedly recount their day. But I wasn’t really present. Then I would dash off after their bedtime to my studio man cave to work on my music until the wee hours.

Then I would collapse into bed every night, only to get up a few hours later and do it all over again. At the end of my self-imposed exile of several months, I would finally return home victorious, the proud father of a shiny new CD.

But there was no applause in my household. Only a very chilly reception from an ever more distant wife who understood my passion but couldn’t accept its all-consuming nature or my many frazzled creative endeavors.

Then I would spend the next few months trying to stitch back together our relationship. But the chasm between us was growing and heading to the point of no return, having repeated this scenario at least three times before since we had known each other.

I knew something needed to change, and quickly, if I was going to try and stay married.

How did I arrive here, you might ask.

Simply put, I became a casualty of the Digital Revolution. A world where faster is better, multi-tasking is the national anthem, and technology will set you free to be more productive and make you more intelligent.

Where you don’t need human interaction anymore. You can simply “connect” to your global audience, which was almost as good as being there with them.

Except that it’s not.

I was duped into believing that I could accomplish so many more tasks with all this technology and achieve incredible feats by simply sitting in front of a computer screen.

I was also following several successful bloggers and online marketers and learning everything I could from them. But this only amplified the delusion that I could accomplish all these things at once because they had done it.

Only all those marketers seemed very focused on just one thing and they were doing it really well. The problem for me was that I had many irons in many different fires and none of them were getting very hot.

I call this The Flailing Effect.

But thank God (or Buddha as it were) that somewhere in the midst of all this chaos I began practicing meditation. You could say I finally caught my breath. I quickly began to slow down and see a different perspective.

It didn’t happen overnight. There were no tectonic shifts in my crazy lifestyle. In fact, I had to get up even earlier to now fit my meditation into my already insane schedule.

But it was the best thing I ever could have done.

Slowly, through the practice of quieting my mind, I began to find clarity.

I clearly saw my attachment to this desperate need to accomplish something important in this life and be recognized by the world for it; and how these external accomplishments would somehow validate me as a person, as though who I was already wasn’t enough.

It didn’t take long before I recognized the insanity in my ways.

It became clear that I really needed to define what I wanted my life to stand for. Then I needed to eliminate everything else that didn’t serve that end.

But the most important discovery was learning to finally let go of all expectations that any of these aspirations needed to come true. Or if they were meant to be, I needed to stop worrying about when they were going to happen, which it turns out was a huge source of frustration.

Attachment, worry, frustration—these things don’t exist in nature. Things unfold as they are supposed to in nature.

Sometimes the rains come. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes one storm can change the course of millions of lives in just a few minutes.

A river runs its course based on the lay of the land. When it meets an obstacle, it doesn’t fight with it. It simply goes around it…eventually.

How long it takes is of little consequence. After some six million years or so, it might carve something as magnificent as the Grand Canyon. Nobody’s watching the clock in nature.

A tree is happy wherever it grows. It doesn’t secretly wish to sprout legs and run off to some other more happening part of the forest. (Robert Frost wrote a pretty great poem on this subject.)

In Buddhism, they call this patient acceptance.

Life happens in spite of your wishes. This is the nature of all things. When I began to accept this, my frustrations started to melt away.

When you can see yourself as a part of that nature, not separate from it, and start behaving as nature does, you will become more peaceful.

I’ve learned to embrace the work now.

The day to day. Nothing else matters, except my family. When I’m with my kids or my wife now, I try to really be present, to enjoy the now in each moment.

When I finish a post or a song after many hours of editing and polishing it to a fine shine, I can stand back and smile. Another child is born. Then I put it out into the world.

I do wish for it a happy, prosperous life as any father would. I just don’t worry so much any more about how it all turns out.

It all turns out fine.

Photo by Nguyen ST
October 30, 2013
How to Eat Mindfully and Actually Enjoy Your Food

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

It’s Sunday night. A steaming plate of spaghetti is set in front of me. Salivating with wide eyes I grab my fork and prepare to dive in. We know how this will end. I will say to my husband while patting my tummy and undoing my top button, “Tomorrow we will start our healthy eating plans.”

This scene raises a number of questions:

Why can’t I resist the urge to inhale my meal like an out of control Scooby Doo bingeing on Scooby snacks? Even when my body is screaming “Enough—you’re killing me,” I will still reach for another donut.

Secondly, when did we become so unconscious that my Mandarin buffet gorge from the night before is a mere fog like hangover?

We are just plain food obsessed.

You don’t have to look far to prove this obsession. Walk down any fast food-lined street in any North American town and observe the unprecedented obesity.

Look to our health crisis. Not only are millions of Americans suffering from eating disorders, but the hospital hallways are lined with people with heart disease, cancer, and an epidemic influx of diabetes.

Look to our media. I shudder every time I hear someone say they love the show “Man versus Food.” Have you ever been to a factory farm? In order to feed our gluttonous ways, factory farms are piling millions more animals into production spaces, causing harm to animals, the environment, and humans.

In short, we have a lot of sick people and a lot of animals suffering.

Why is something we deem so pleasurable causing so much harm? We could debate many arguments as to why we have developed unhealthy food relationships, reasons such as two working families, fast food biggie sizes, lack of exercise, technology, and inexpensive junk food.

But at the root of the problem is that in our fast paced society we have forgotten how to slow down and eat mindfully.

When we regain consciousness and reconnect to Mother Earth the ugly side effects of our food obsession inevitably dissipate.

My very wise Buddhist teacher recently gave us a challenging assignment. The intention was to discover that everyday mundane tasks, such as eating or washing the dishes don’t have to be mundane at all. Our first challenge: Practice mindful eating. The results must surprise you.

5 Steps to Mindful Eating

1. Examine your emotions.

It’s nearing bedtime; the house is quiet and dark, my agitated mind illuminated by the dim fridge light. What am I feeling? Boredom, anxiety, anger, sadness? Am I really hungry? After all, I did have dinner a mere three hours ago?

The truth is, my husband and I had an argument, I’m in need of comfort and my mind is fixated on the chocolate peanut butter ice cream in the freezer. But after three months of nightly indulgence and two inches added to my waistline I’ve only compounded my frustrations, not abolished them.

This is a perfect example of eating by emotion. Looking at your mind from above it makes it easer to recognize unhealthy eating patterns and make changes. Before you steal from the cookie jar always ask yourself, does my body need nourishment or am I feeding my emotions?

2. Find a food you love and set the stage for success.

A natural, colourful fruit is always a good first choice; an apple was my first. Now turn off all media, put your iPhone away, and no talking. It might be hard at first to bottle your urges for idle chatter, but be still, breathe deeply, and fight against it. Start with ten minutes.

3. Express gratitude.

Resist the urge to bite into your apple. Take a moment to consider all the kindness that went into growing this apple. This may at first sound absurd but this practice develops your own loving kindness and gratitude.

Think about the mother who raised the farmer who planted the apple tree. Think about the miraculous ecosystem. Consider the apple pickers, the supermarket workers. Honestly, we could go on forever and what you would ultimately discover is that the kindness of the entire universe is in this apple.

Now that’s some food for thought, but don’t worry if you’re not there yet. Maybe just start by expressing gratitude that you are able to eat in peace and comfort. Say a silent thanks.

I’ve noticed that expressing gratitude centers me in the present moment, negative emotions dissipate, and it reminds me not to take things for granted.

4. Savor the flavor.

While this may seem like an eternity with your bowl of sweet raspberries on the counter taunting you, but in reality it’s only a mere minute or two; still, if you can, hold off long enough to closely observe your food. Feel the coolness of the apple, examine the deep red color, smell the sweetness. Allow your senses to explode.

Okay, now we’re ready. Slowly take a juicy bite, roll the apple in your mouth, savor the sourness, play with the texture, and notice the intensity. Before you take another bite, chew slowly and completely before swallowing. Eat the entire apple this way: slowly, silently, mindfully.

Unbeknownst to my co-workers the mundane mid-day apple break in my cubicle has suddenly turned into a powerful experience. After practicing mindful eating I’m also fascinated to realize that I don’t even enjoy the tasteless, processed morning granola bar that I scarf down in the car.

Mindful eating naturally results in a love of healthy foods. It’s inevitable.

5. Build the mindful eating habit.

We live in a busy world and there will always be days when we need to wolf down a slice of pizza on our lunch break, but consider practicing this technique once a week, and then once a day. Eventually, it will just become habit. You’ll become be present.

However you should beware there are side effects of mindful eating, the fine print reads:

You may develop a love of natural foods, feelings of satisfaction, a sudden desire to be active, an ability to recognize your body’s nourishment needs, weight loss, mood control, more energy, glowing skin, disease prevention, control over your emotions, living in the present moment, and quieting the mind.

Imagine the change we could invoke throughout world if everyone practiced mindful eating. It’s not too late to teach our children new habits. The positive transformation to our health care system, our own and our children’s health and wellness, and the entire animal kingdom is exciting and within grasp.

We don’t have to be food obsessed. Let’s break the cycle. Doesn’t it make you want to go grab a fuzzy peach and give it a try? Go on. I’m about to enjoy an intense blueberry experience myself.

October 14, 2013
Happiness is Not a Destination: How to Enjoy the Journey

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” ~Sydney J Harris

Being happy is for most of us one of the key aims in life. But where we often go wrong is in figuring out which path to take to achieve that happiness.

My own path has been a somewhat unconventional one. In my last year at college, most of my peers were busy applying for full-time jobs with large companies, but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I wanted to see the world, which (long before gap years became so common) was met with disapproval by many. But excited, and somewhat scared, I set off alone on my travels.

I didn’t return for good until over seven years later, traveling around the world twice over, working as an English teacher in Istanbul and Barcelona, as a fruit picker on a kibbutz in Israel, in a ski resort, on a campsite in France, and in a fairground in Australia.

I drove across the US, rode the Trans-Siberian railway across Asia, and took precarious bus journeys through the Himalayas and the Andes.

It was a fantastically exciting time and left me with some amazing memories that will last forever. I knew that by doing this I’d probably be sacrificing any chance of reaching the upper echelons of the corporate tree, but that didn’t hold any appeal to me anyway.

Of more concern was the pressure I felt from family, friends, and society to settle down and find a “proper” job. But I’m really glad that I resisted that pressure and didn’t stop traveling and working abroad until I’d seen and experienced all that I wanted to.

I felt that there was plenty of time to have a conventional job after my traveling days were over, and this has proved correct.

The traveling taught me so much about myself, and life, and made me think about what I wanted from this short time on earth. I realized that I wanted to acquire experiences rather than money, and in my subsequent career that is what I have done.

I’ve done a variety of jobs: I’ve been a musician, graphic designer, novelist, and journalist. Much of the time, these have been precarious freelance jobs and not well paid, but they’ve all been fantastically interesting and given me a wealth of life experience.

I always wanted to have no regrets with the way I spent my life, and so far I haven’t. I know that if I’d spent my whole life trying to climb the corporate ladder I wouldn’t have been happy and would now have been lamenting what I hadn’t done in my life.

I’ve always found it really important to enjoy each step of the journey that I’ve been on and not just hoping to be happier at some point later in my life.

The path I’ve chosen may not be for everyone, but it is an example of the importance of choosing your own path in life, and ignoring the pressure from family, friends, and society.

I’ve seen how some people are pressured into certain jobs, often because they are considered prestigious, but hate the path they have chosen. Others may be pushed to get further up the career ladder, but then find out they hate the managerial responsibility that this generally brings.

People also often think that when they have more material goods or money they will be happier. But while it may be hard to be happy in the western world with no money (although some people achieve it) making lots of money and buying lots of things may not necessarily make you content.

Buying a new car or yacht is often only a short-term happiness boost and it seems that after a while, each upgrade to the car, house, or yacht gives less and less extra happiness.

Surveys have shown again and again that once people reach a certain wage—around the average wage in western countries—happiness levels do not increase much.

With relationships, it’s also important to find the right path for ourselves, and to be as sure as we can that we have chosen the right partner. And when we’ve hopefully found them, it’s so important to enjoy each moment of that relationship, not always be looking to the future.

We might think that having children will make us happy, but then when we have them we realize all the responsibilities and difficulties that brings, and may look back on our days without children with fondness. Or if we have young children we might wish they were older, but then they become teenagers!

The common pattern in all this is choosing the right road for the type of person we are and finding happiness at as many places along that route as we can.

So it’s important to look at all the good things in our lives and to enjoy them to the full right now. That is much more likely to bring happiness than waiting for it to appear around the corner.

Photo by woodleywonderworks

August 8, 2013
10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.

As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).

I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.

As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).

Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)

Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.

How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)

Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.

So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?

I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.

And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.

I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.

Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.

Go ahead—indulge.

1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.

No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.

You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.

2. Spice up boring to-dos.

Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.

3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.

Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!

4. Just giggle.

Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.

5. Try something brand new.

For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.

Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!

6. Do a tedium detox.

This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.

Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.

Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)

7. Try on a new character.

Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?

Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.

8. Make pampering a priority.

Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?

Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.

9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.

I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”

You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.

10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.

If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?

Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”

Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.

It’ll be our delicious little secret.

July 9, 2013
How We Can Embody Abundance Regardless of What We Have

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Embody abundance. I heard someone say those two words the other day. What does that mean, really? To truly embody abundance, do we need to have everything we want? Or can anyone who holds space for truth experience a way of being that is free of lack?

Maybe to embody abundance is to recognize the realness that underlies the illusory film that covers much of what we see in our day-to-day lives. Maybe abundance is always there, but we forget to see it.

In my day-to-day work, I usually get to practice from a home office. After moving 60 miles outside of the metro to a more rural area, I hardly ever go into the city anymore. I tend to like it that way, spending most days at home, either in a quiet space indoors or outside in the woods or garden.

When I do find myself navigating a more urban area, or even just venturing out of my familiar, natural spaces, my vision tends to get clouded with traffic, crowds, and consumerism.

When the clouds roll in, it is all too easy to forget the abundance that I am usually good at recognizing. Sometimes I forget to remember to see what I want to see.

What if I could remember to look past the traffic, past the crowds, and past the consumerism? I wonder what that view could be like. I imagine it might show me wildflowers in the freeway ditches, insistent at opening their petals to the sun, despite the concrete that mars their view.

It might show me a person, or two people, or a group of five, interacting with themselves, each other, and creation in a way that honors honesty and cooperation. It might show me vibrant new ideas that refuse to be pushed aside standing next to the whisper of peace that always keeps watch under the dull hum of advertising and shopping malls.

What if instead of seeing poverty, despair, pain, and cruelty in the world, we saw opportunities for growth, seeds of hope, room for healing, and the sharing of compassion? What if we could truly embody abundance in every thought?

Maybe it would make a difference in the reality that we live. Maybe—even when in unfamiliar, chaotic territory—if we look past the veils, under the illusions, and through the empty material desires of the current human experience, we will recognize everyday abundance in all things.

Perhaps then we can embody our abundance to experience and remember all that is, absent limits and free of lack.

Perhaps we can each take our life situation for what it is—a situation—instead of a sentence or definition; busy or not, and let it be a way for our being, our true self, to experience all that is worth experiencing.

Each life situation is a unique chance to embody the abundance that is already in us. I can embody abundance. So can you. We just need to remember to do it.

So walk through a grove of aspen trees. Stand in a ray of sunlight in the middle of the city. Marvel at the way your physical body helps you carry out the mission of your soul. Focus. Spend time loving the present. Take some time off if serves you. Enjoy silence. Be loud when being loud helps. Dance with your baby, talk to your neighbor, let the snow or rain melt into your skin, and see the art in the world.

Look past the to-do list to what is. Find your abundance, and honor it.

Photo by geralt

July 7, 2013
Slow Down and Fully Enjoy This Moment

“Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.” ~Unknown

Have you noticed that time seems to go by faster as you get older? Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries all come and go—and before we know it, here they come again.

One theory neuroscientists have is that when we are young we have more novel experiences. These novel experiences create more vivid memories. As we age, we have less “new” or “first time” experiences. There are no unique memories to stand out.

We can also look at it another way. When we’re doing something new, we’re very focused and “in the moment.” Time seems to stand still because we’re not thinking about the past or the future. We are truly living in the present.

So then by being present in our lives, no matter what we’re doing—cleaning dishes, writing a paper, or watching a sunset—or how old we are, we can experience it like it’s a “first time.”

How often are we truly present in our lives? It’s hard, isn’t it? We have so many things to do, places to be, people to see.

We all know that we should slow down and enjoy life more. We may try for a little while, but then we’re off to the races again, filling our lives with more busyness and distractions.

We start our day with well-meaning intentions: kindness, compassion, patience, and love. Then stuff happens—we hit traffic, computer goes on the fritz, or have an argument with our significant other. By mid-day, we often find ourselves worn down, defensive, and depleted.

As a massage therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to work closely with many interesting people, from actors and musicians to teachers and retirees. We share life’s ups and downs—joys and sorrows from birthdays and weddings to sickness and death.

Our perspective determines how we see and judge everything in life. And try as we may, we cannot run from the perspective that comes from growing older.

I’m lucky to work with many older clients who remind me of what’s really important in life. And what I hear most is how fast life passes you by. And the advice I hear most often: to really try to enjoy every moment.

Which then boils down to presence—presence with people, with activities, with whatever’s in front of us.

PRESENCE WITH OTHERS

Be gracious.

No matter what you’re dealing with in life, be gracious to others. Be grateful for what you have in your life and be willing to “pay it forward.”

Be present with your loved ones.

With all the distractions around us, it’s easy to get sidetracked. We may be tempted to “multi-task” by checking email or sending text messages while talking to them. But it’s so important to let your loved ones know that they’re being heard and that you value your relationship with them.

Be present with everyone you encounter.

Whether it’s a clerk at a grocery store, your neighbor, or a co-worker. Oprah has said that after talking to almost 30,000 people on her show, she’s found that everyone has the same desire—to know they are seen, they are heard, and that what they say matters.

Be yourself; don’t try to impress.

We waste a lot of time worrying about finding the right outfit or making our hair look just right to be “presentable” If you want to wear a muumuu with tennis shoes, do it!

Nurture your friendships.

As we grow older, it’s so important to have our friends to lean on, to cheer us up, and keep us going.

Always have a good joke to tell.

Everyone loves a good joke and laughter can be healing as well as contagious!

PRESENCE WHEN IT’S NOT EASY

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Know what’s absolutely important in your life and don’t get caught up in the petty things.

Choose happiness.

Don’t let your happiness depend on circumstances. You can decide to be happy, no matter what’s happening around you.

Keep music in your life.

Music can be very therapeutic and can help boost your mood. You can take a dance class, learn how to play an instrument, or just rock out at home to your favorite music.

Let go of grudges.

Do yourself a favor and find a way to forgive and move on. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean you necessarily forget what happened, but forgiveness allows you to release the negative and make more room for the positive.

It all boils down to remembering what’s important in life. And we definitely don’t have to wait until we’re retired to do that. We can decide today, no matter what we’re doing or whom we’re with, to let this moment know: yes, I see you, I hear you, and you matter.

Photo by Alice Popkorn

June 16, 2013
Getting to Know Yourself, What You Like, and What You Want in Life

“Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde

In some ways, it may seem counterintuitive to have to learn to know yourself. Surely that should be a given, right? Not necessarily.

While our experiences clearly helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that we necessarily know who we really are—what we are passionate about and what we want from life.

Since we were tiny, we’ve developed beliefs and values, some good and some not so good, as a result of our environment and the pressure from society to conform.

When I was younger, I associated academic achievement and fitting into a group with my self-worth.

Having an older sister who was academically superior to me made me feel worthless and led to issues with low self-esteem.

I was so paranoid about being liked that I would often force myself to attend school even when I was incredibly ill, in case friends decided they no longer wanted me in their group.

In retrospect, this all sounds incredibly irrational, but at the time it made perfect sense. Despite the emotional turmoil I constantly experienced, school became a symbol of familiarity.

I thought that if I worked hard and got into a good university, everything would finally fall into place.

So I worked extremely hard, achieved good grades, and got an offer to study at Cambridge University. I had proven to everyone else that I was intelligent, but this “proof” seemed strangely hollow.

Despite thinking that all these achievements would make me feel better, I felt numb. This was what I had wanted, and yet I still wasn’t happy. I started thinking there was something wrong with me. (more…)

March 7, 2013
10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life’s Journey More
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I wake up. I take a look outside.

I take a breath in and just appreciate where this dream has taken me.

I want to be a ninja.

Yeah, it sounds a little strange.

Probably even weirder when I tell you I have a Master’s degree in education, am a former teacher, and I’m about to turn thirty.

You could call it a quarter life crisis, assuming I’ll live to be 120.

But I prefer to call it my life’s calling.

It is my childhood dream. So, when I say, “I want to be a ninja,” I’m talking about the ninja from my eight-year-old brain.

According to my eight-year-old brain a ninja:
- Moves to a far away land
- Trains extensively in martial arts
- Challenges the traditional methods of life and work
About a year ago I quit my job in America. I moved to Japan (a far away land). I now train full time in martial arts five to six days a week.

I’m doing everything within my power to turn this into a lifestyle. I write about my experiences in hopes of encouraging others to make the most of their lives.

It is easy for me to romanticize my life to the outside world, but the reality is that I can get just as caught up in the monotony of day-to-day life as anyone else.

After being in Japan for a year I can get so caught up with achieving my next goal, the next item on my to do list, that I forget how wonderful life truly is.

I live in a land with thousands of years of history, culture, and beautiful architecture.

And with all of this sometimes I can still walk through my day like a zombie. (more…)
October 24, 2012
Quiet Your Mind and Just Play (in 20 Ways)

“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

I spend a lot of time contemplating and philosophizing about life. According to my mother, I spent the first year of my life silently observing the events around me with a serious stare and a furrowed brow.

I’ve always leaned toward reverent acts of self-discovery and introspection. In high school I studied Buddhist texts and on Sunday mornings. At age eighteen, when my college classmates were nursing hangovers, I was shopping around for a spiritual home, which I found in the form of my Unitarian-Universalist church.

For most of my life, I’ve lived with intention and rarely with abandon.

And I think I’m starting to feel the weight of this.

Contemplation has its place, but sometimes life just calls for a little spontaneity—a small dose of irreverence interspersed amongst the otherwise-trying bits of living.

I write this tonight because I have had a few uncharacteristically playful moments over the past few weeks, and I am quite sure they have prevented me from cracking up during some significant stress. Either that or, I am cracking up and my behavior has regressed to that of a four-year-old.

In either case, it feels good.

And I want to share those good feelings. So to encourage you to foray into the world of play, I’ve created a list of some things that have brought me unexpected and simple joy the past few weeks (along with some things I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to do just yet).

Have fun and en-joy!

20 Ways to Play

1. Blow bubbles in the bathtub.

Sometimes they bounce off the surface of the water. And when they pop, they make this satisfying “click” sound. If the lights are off and you have candles burning, the reflection in the soapy dome that hovers on your bath water is mesmerizing.

2. Hula hoop.

I just learned this skill. At age thirty-two. It’s addictively fun. Jump “rope” with the hula hoop, too. Just for laughs. My good friend advised me to, “Never hula hoop naked.” But I think that if you’re after laughs, this might be a good route.

3. Make a paper “fortune-teller.”

Then write ridiculous fortunes on the inner flaps. Present it to friends and neighbors for a range of amused smiles and baffled glances.

4. Teach your dog a trick.

Another hula hoop-inspired one for me, as my dog loves to leap through the hoop with the promise of a morsel of pepperoni. And her enthusiasm is contagious.

5. Be a “surprise fairy.”

Leave an anonymous gift or token for someone special. It could be a trinket or a poem, a hand-me-down necklace, or a handmade card.

6. Belt out a show tune.

Preferably in public. I won’t even tell you what’s been in my repertoire recently, but it’s a calypso tune sung by an ocean-dwelling animated crab. Catch my drift?

7. Use stickers.

Liberally. Just slap ‘em on notes and letters and planners. I dig Hello Kitty, but to each her own.

8. Write silly poems on the envelopes to your bills.

Last month’s masterpiece to my electric company expressed my relief at the rising temperatures and the lowered energy bill, and wished the reader a sunny afternoon.

9. Leave a song on someone’s voicemail.

Your high school best friend will be thrilled when he leaves work to check a voicemail containing the epic musical swells of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

10. Play with clay.

You don’t have to be a sculptor. Get some play clay and roll out some worms, construct a tiny dinosaur (even if it looks like a rabbit), or use a cookie cutter to make a row of stars.

11. Run down a hill.

Or roll. Get some speed and feel the abandon. You’re freeeeee!

12. Draw on the walls.

Use bathtub crayons and create something while you shower. Or get some sidewalk chalk and have fun making hopscotch courses outside. Tape paper to your wall and scrawl in broad strokes with markers. It’s liberating.

13. Give in to an urge.

It’s 11pm and you’re suddenly compelled to drive to the beach? Do it. It’s 10am and the sunshine outside your office window is luring you out to take a walk? Do it. Not all urges are irresponsible.

I think when we feel drawn toward freedom or to do something spontaneously, it’s usually our soul’s plea for joy and levity. We can’t always ignore that or ask it to wait patiently for the weekend. If we do, it may stop speaking to us all together.

14. Borrow a kid.

If you already have one, borrow another for a change of pace. Go to the playground and chase them around. Let them push you on the merry-go-round. When the other adults shoot you a look, smile inside, content in the knowledge that you know a secret to happiness: play!

15. Swing on the swings.

With or without kids. Feel the breeze across your face and the drop in your stomach when you go just a little bit higher.

16. Learn a new trick.

I still can’t do a cartwheel. And I can’t quite dive. But every time I set out to do either, I feel a renewed zest for life. Try something new and have fun with it.

17. Play an instrument.

Bongos and kazoos are fun for the not-so-musically-inclined.

18. Make a “faerie garden.”

My mother did this with my son recently. She used an old wooden crate and some found objects, and let him create a beautiful little “garden” filled with ceramic turtles, tree branches, and an angel figurine. There’s no real reason. But why not?

19. Throw a party.

Go all out and make it a themed event for all of your friends. Or go small scale and celebrate your dog’s birthday with some balloons, a new toy and a feast of fresh beef and rice. You can celebrate anything, if you want to.

20. Dance in public.

At a karaoke bar or in the grocery store. And if you somehow just can’t bring yourself to do it…do it anyway.

These moments of fun and play are what keep me feeling alive. I consider them to be my soul’s expression of joy. And my body’s expression of joy. And my heart’s expression of joy. But my mind is blissfully quiet during these times.

In these moments, my mind is off the hook and all I have to do is just play.

Photo by Brian Tomlinson

May 24, 2012
Keep Moving Forward: 4 Tips to Enjoy the Journey More

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

Five years ago, I decided to fulfill my dream of getting a doctorate. I knew from talking to friends who took on the same endeavor that it would mean many sleepless nights and tons of reading and writing. But nothing prepared me for the path that lay ahead.

Graduate school is often compared to a marathon. Why? At each moment, when you think you’ve completed a major milestone, you realize you have a long road ahead. You just have to keep going and going.

First, there’s the coursework. I took on a full load and worked two part-time jobs.

Second, you really have to develop a thick skin because part of the experience of graduate school is humbling yourself before your professors and peers and learning to take constructive criticism. This also becomes an exercise in tuning into your own voice by learning how to distinguish between useless and useful feedback.

Third, your patience is tried and tested because it’s such a long road–an average five to seven years to completion in the United States.

I went into graduate school because I loved learning and I had a passion for my research. Along the way, as I buried myself in books, grading, and academic dialogue with my colleagues, I lost sight of this passion.

I became so focused on the destination that I forgot about the journey.

For my dissertation, I had to travel abroad to collect data. At first, I was enthused about the act of discovery. What kind of data would I find? What would I learn about the country, culture, and people living there? I was excited about the prospect of my research contributing to the good of mankind, even in some minute way. I harbored high hopes. (more…)

March 15, 2012
4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

“Big flud strikes Revere!”

That was the headline of the newspaper I made with my sister when I was six. I hadn’t yet honed my skills as an editor, but I knew a good fake story when I heard it.

Eight years later, while wading through my anger toward several people who’d hurt me, I wrote a short book called The Line of the Virtues about the grey area between good and bad. An older coworker at my afterschool job asked, “Are all kids this deep these days?”

Somewhere between six and fourteen, I’d found my calling: I was a writer who liked to tackle weighty topics. Though I took a lot of detours between realizing that and pursuing writing as a career, ultimately, it brought me to Tiny Buddha—my sweet spot for personal and professional fulfillment.

Looking back, I realize I took those detours solely because I was scared. I thought writing was one of those careers that only a few people get to do. I figured it was better not to try than to try and fail, because then I could pretend I wasn’t writing by choice.

I remember the first time I realized I was hiding from my passion. I was twenty-six years old, and part of a marketing team that was walking across the country to promote a number of fitness products.

A coworker and I got into a ridiculous fight over the meaning of a word. She’d formerly worked as a comedy writer for radio shows—and, for the record, she was right about the meaning. Defending her stance, she shouted, “Don’t you think I’d know? I’m a writer!”

I responded, “Me too!”

Then she argued, “Not really!” Further drilling the point home, she continued, “Just wait ‘til you move to San Francisco and call yourself a writer there. Your MySpace blogs just aren’t going to cut it!”

Since I’d held nothing back from Tom, this hurt—until later when I realized she’d given me a gift. She’d smothered me with the truth, and I had no choice but to acknowledge she was right yet again.

I got a writing job the second day after I arrived in San Francisco. I was writing about senior care, a topic that interested me about as much as the mating habits of ants. But it was a decision to step onto a new path, knowing full well that, at that point, I had no idea where I was going.

This is true for all of us whenever we start doing something new. There are never any guarantees about where it will lead, and that can be a scary thing, particularly if your current situation allows you to comfortably meet your responsibilities.

There simply isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula for discovering what you’re passionate about and then transitioning to a new career. That being said, I’ve learned a few things about doing what you love for work—and I’ve learned that a lot of what I previously believed simply is not true. (more…)

November 16, 2011
The Days Will Run Out

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I heard this story recently while listening to a favorite radio show of mine. It was about this homeless man who was detailing some of his experience with homelessness.

He told stories of sleeping outside in the rain and waiting for hours to get into an overcrowded shelter. He even told a story about another homeless man, who could speak no English, who told him about how he had spent a sleepless night in a trash compactor because he felt safer and was drier than sleeping out on the street.

He didn’t get much sleep, however, because all night he kept worrying that someone might press “the button.”

The single story he told that stood out in my mind, however, was the story of the time he was offered the job of house-sitting for a friend. As you could imagine, the thought of existing somewhere safely, of being sheltered from the weather, of being able to relax on a couch and watch TV was overwhelming for him.

He was excited like a child might be excited before being told that his parents had decided to go out and buy him a brand new bicycle.

There was no doubt that he was thrilled about all these things, and he certainly had a right to be. With all that he was about to experience, however, the thing that he looked forward to the most was sleeping.

Really? Sleeping? I wondered, how could he be excited about sleeping when he had a house all to himself?

The thing is, sleeping in a warm bed, to most of us, is something we take for granted. Something we don’t ever think about. But, as this man detailed, sleeping is tough when you’re homeless.

You don’t get much sleep when the cold and wet are invading every inch of your body. Most of the time, when you do sleep, you sleep with one eye open for fear of having something stolen, or being attacked.

So when he first fell like a rough heavy stone into the softness of his friend’s bed that first night, all he could do was lay there looking at the dark quiet ceiling and feel grateful. Then he said something that was special to me. Something that resonated inside me like the assertive crisp ring of a bell. (more…)

November 10, 2011
3 Things Tweens Teach Us about Living and Enjoying Life

“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

Work, Eat, Sleep. Work, Eat Sleep.

We all get wrapped up in this humdrum cycle of life consisting of working, eating, and sleeping, then waking up a few hours later to do it all over again.

This year it’s been particularly challenging for me to find ways to create balance and keep ahold of my sanity when the grind includes growing my small business, completing a new home with my husband, and settling into our first year as newlyweds who have yet to take a honeymoon.

And then it happened. Last month, I looked at my phone and the calendar read “July 15”—which meant that is was mid-July, which meant that summer was quickly fading away, which, most importantly, meant that I was letting the beauty of my favorite, sun-filled season slip right through my fingertips without even putting up a fight.

Luckily, my fate was soon to change as I was expecting my 13 year old spunky little sister, sent straight from my parents’ home in Hawaii.

A little background on our relationship: I left for college when she was five years old and since then, have only been able to spend a few weeks with her here and there during the holidays.

Hearing so much about bullying, sexting, and other emerging teen issues in the media, I had been feeling a bit disconnected from her. And I had this deep longing to reconnect to try to understand her experiences and provide any support that I can.

Equipped with an iPod, iTouch, iMac, and a lifetime’s supply of lip gloss, Sabrina arrived ready to take on San Diego, and ready to take me with her! I was pleasantly surprised to meet a confident, articulate, and organized pre-teen who still managed to capture the playful and silly little girl qualities I remembered so vividly from her childhood. (more…)

August 23, 2011