Tag: de-stress

  • 5 Ways to Use Movement (Not Exercise) to Support Your Mental Health

    5 Ways to Use Movement (Not Exercise) to Support Your Mental Health

    “Nothing is more revealing than movement.” ~Martha Graham

    It seems like only yesterday that I was at home with a newborn, a kindergartener, two dogs, and a husband who, just like me, was working from home, when we were thrown into the unthinkable COVID19 pandemic.

    It didn’t take long for the stress and tension to build in my body. The feeling of instability, uncertainty, and fear, not to mention the post-partum anxiety, took its toll on my body as it became more rigid, bound, immobile, and frozen.

    All the ways I had relied on movement as exercise were taken away, adapted to in-home and Zoom learning, which unfortunately did not work for my schedule or home life. It was the first time in a long time that I was not able to incorporate dance into my week.

    It seemed very hard to expand, stretch, even breathe, and that’s when it hit me. A little voice inside said, “You need to practice what you preach!” I needed to redefine movement and focus it on my mental health; connecting to movement for emotional well-being and not just for physical activity.

    When most of us think of movement we think of exercise. While all exercise is movement, not all movement is exercise.

    There are so many ways our bodies move, even involuntarily, that contribute to not only how we feel but what we think. Science tells us that molecules of emotion exist throughout the body, so wouldn’t it make sense that in order to manage those emotions, we need to tap into all the ways to move the body that houses them?

    First, let’s look at what movement is. Movement is anything that allows the body to change position or relocate. This can be something as grandiose as running a marathon, or a resting heartbeat, blood pumping, even breathing. All of these examples involve parts of the body or the whole body shifting its position.

    So, with this in mind, how are you moving right now? Now ask yourself, how is this movement impacting my mood in this moment? Is it supporting a healthy mindset or perpetuating a habit or behavior that contributes to a negative thought pattern?

    In my case, as mentioned above, my movement was very limited, confined, and rigid. It was often impeded by another person, my newborn, who through no fault of his own needed me for survival. I neglected my own body’s needs and it took a toll on my mental health.

    Changing the way you think or even feel actually comes down to changing how you move. So what can be done? Here are five ways you can use movement to support your mental health.

    1. Focus on your movement right now.

    When we focus on our movement in the present moment, we minimize the anticipation of what’s to come, which is often tied to fear or anxiety. We also mitigate dwelling on the past, which can harbor feelings of guilt and doubt.

    Every movement is an opportunity to be in the moment, because every moment is found in movement.

    Bring to mind one part of your body and simply become aware of its shape, how much space it takes up, if it has any rhythm, or even the lack of movement present. Begin to shift this part of the body in small ways and explore how this part moves.

    I began to recognize that my body was closed and tight. So I intentionally made an effort to check in with my posture, giving myself an opportunity to stretch and expand in my body to counter the negative effects I was experiencing.

    2. Cross the midline of your body.

    When we engage in any cross-lateral movement, like walking, marching, or giving ourselves an embrace, we encourage one hemisphere of the brain to talk with the other. This boosts neural activity across the corpus collosum, which increases neuralplasticity, otherwise known as the brain’s ability to change. This allows new pathways to develop which directly corresponds to our emotional resilience, ability to problem solve, and think critically.

    Begin by giving yourself a big hug or simply touching opposite hand to opposite knee. You could also try exercises or yoga poses that require you to cross your midline, like side bends, windmills, or bicycling while lying on your back.

    3. Move your spine.

    When you engage in movement of your spine, you tap into your self-awareness. This vertical plane of the body houses our core; beliefs, identity, moral compass. Bringing attention to the spine and any way it is able to move gives us the opportunity to become more aware of our inner world, how we feel, and what we need.

    Keep in mind that you do not have to be flexible, but gently explore all the ways you are able to move your spine, rib cage, and even hips.

    I like to start my day from the comfort of my bed, lying on my back, bringing my knees into my chest, and hugging my legs. As I tuck my chin, this allows my spine to curve as I attempt to connect head and tail.

    4. Play with timing and space.

    We move in familiar ways because we like comfort, even it that comes at a price for our mental health.

    Our bodies tend to stick to a certain timing, pace, and even shape as we move through our world. When we change up the timing and shape or the space our bodies take up, we begin to challenge our minds by moving out of our comfort zone. This can be uncomfortable, but done in small bouts and with ease, can increase our window of tolerance or ability to manage stress.

    Notice the natural pace of our movement (walk, gesture, etc.) and try speeding it up and/or slowing it down. Same thing with space, can you take up more space? How does that feel?

    5. Move more, not better!

    Increasing all the movements at our disposal makes us more resilient in our minds. When you only move in so many ways, then you can only think in so many ways.

    When we move our bodies more, in new and unfamiliar ways, building a robust movement vocabulary, we increase our ability to transition through life, manage challenges, or at the very least, begin to connect with ourselves in a different way. This can lead toward more self-compassion and empathy.

    When I began moving more throughout my daily life, I had more compassion for myself and my children, who were also struggling to make sense of the world, just like me. I could model my own need for regulation and safety in my body, and as a family we were better for it.

    Your body, and its movement, is your greatest resource for emotional well-being and mental wellness. It often starts with noticing all the ways your body currently moves and inviting in new ways of moving whenever possible.

    There is no wrong way to do this, as it is an individualized practice designed to harness your own mind-body connection. Furthermore, it’s not the movement alone that matters but the execution as well. Being mindful and intentional as you engage in this practice is vital.

    Integrating the aforementioned tips into your lifestyle is a guaranteed way to A.C.E. your mental health. By becoming more AWARE of our movement, we can CHALLENGE our current behaviors and EXPAND our minds in order to live more emotionally regulated lives.

  • What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy

    What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy

    “Don’t let this silly world trick you into starving your soul for material things. Cause someday you’re gonna be sitting out under the sun and realize how little you actually need to be truly happy.” ~Brooke Hampton

    Three years ago, at the height of pandemic, I made many pitchers of lemonade from scratch. This newfound ritual was one of the better things about being on lockdown.

    I’d hand squeeze a big bag of lemons for about one-third cup of juice, and experiment by adding vanilla extract, mint, and tablespoons of honey. I’d bring my drink outside, where I sat for as long as I dared in a lawn chair, sipping the elixir and daydreaming. It made me oddly happy, and even after a return to normal, I still like to indulge myself this way.

    My family wanders outside to check on me when I burn up a Saturday—and sometimes dinner—doing this. I’m just as annoyed as they are by the intrusion, little decorated paper straw sticking out of my glass, open book from Target on my lap.

    Isn’t that kind of expensive, my mother asked me once, and I had to laugh because the answer to that question is both yes and no.

    Does self-care cost the same as going out to a really nice meal, a vacation, clothes shopping? No. Then again, sitting for long periods, with a cold drink in your hand and doing absolutely ‘f-ck all’ as my teenaged son would say, isn’t how you’re going to afford a full and active lifestyle.

    I began to wonder if having fun and happiness are the same thing.

    I interviewed about a half dozen people on the subject, from therapists to friends—most were of the opinion that having fun and being happy are not mutually exclusive.

    “We don’t talk about our happiness. When we’re happy we’re busy being happy, and the unimportant things fade away. I never could keep a journal outside of the bad periods, because I forgot to write it down when the good was happening,” wrote a friend on Twitter.

    Dr. Sigmund Freud boiled happiness down to instant gratification:

    “What we call happiness, in the strictest sense, comes from the (preferably sudden) satisfaction of needs which have been dammed up to a high degree.”

    I think when I was a kid, I embodied Freud’s words. At age ten, I was the proverbial lab rat, pressing again and again on the same bar, hoping instant gratification would come out.

    Benny’s Oyster Bar in 1983 was that pellet. My family didn’t have much money at the time, so it was a real treat when we ate out.

    A hole in the wall, Benny’s was about two blocks from my Dad’s office, yet I can’t remember if we walked there or drove. In my unsophisticated mind, that restaurant—now a bike repair shop—was the best place on earth for hotdogs and crinkle cut fries drenched in ketchup that you squeezed from a bottle, while listening to a jukebox that competed (and lost) to noisy air-conditioning.

    We always chose to go there on a whim, and it only happened about four out of every ten times we were dragged to my dad’s place of business.

    He sold insurance, relying on my mom for clerical help. If we went to Benny’s, it usually meant my dad was having a good day.

    Thinking back on Benny’s makes me see that one of the main components to happiness is feeling safe and loved in equal measure.

    It didn’t have to be a trip to Benny’s Oyster Bar to make me practically swoon with happiness as a kid. Sometimes it was pretending to be mermaids in my friend’s pool, binge watching The Smurfs, or spending time with my cat.

    As an adult, my happiest moments remain just as uncomplicated.

    I’m a good guinea pig for this happiness experiment since I’ve never actually been depressed. That being said, I’ve only been “truly happy” a handful of times—my it doesn’t get any better than this moments slipping through my fingers before I’m aware they ever happened.

    I asked a psychologist, who works for a Florida county school board, how he’d define happiness.

    “Happiness can be one of the four core emotions. It involves dopamine hits to your hypothalamus. Easy. Then you have the cerebral cortex interpreting that which makes humans more of a pain in the ass to understand,” he said.

    What I took from this is that human happiness can be as unique as our thumbprints. It’s difficult to define, no matter who you are or where you come from.

    An artist I know put it this way:

    “Personally, I believe happiness is fleeting. I’m trying on using the idea of contentment instead. Am I content? Are there ways I can work on aspects to be more content in my life?”

    She may be on to something.

    I’m sure we’ve all heard expectation is the root of suffering, so maybe instead of expecting anything to make us happy all the time, we just need to prioritize the things that bring us joy—even if they look like “wasting time” to everyone else. Then we could visit our happy places more often and stay as long as we like when we get there.

  • A Natural Approach to Mental Health: How to Reduce Anxiety Through Gardening

    A Natural Approach to Mental Health: How to Reduce Anxiety Through Gardening

    “When the world feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Water the plants. Simplicity attracts wisdom.” ~Unknown

    I’ve suffered from anxiety since my childhood, but it was only seven years ago that I was formally diagnosed.

    My symptoms began to get worse after my long-term relationship ended and I felt like my world had collapsed around me.

    I was suffering from extreme fatigue, having trouble concentrating, not sleeping well, and I was constantly worrying.

    Over the next couple of years my mental health continued to deteriorate, and I had trouble finding the energy or motivation to get through the day.

    Eventually, I quit my high-stress government job and moved back to my hometown to live with my elderly mother.

    I was unemployed for the first time in my life, and I struggled to find a reason to get out of bed in the mornings.

    I was prescribed medication for my anxiety, but I suffered from weight gain and other side effects from the treatment.

    After seeing no improvement from the medication, I decided to try healing myself naturally.

    I sought advice from a variety of different practitioners including a naturopath, herbalist, and kinesiologist, which helped a bit, but I was still worrying excessively, having negative thoughts and occasional panic attacks.

    I’d read about the benefits of gardening for mental health, so one day I decided to tackle the overgrown mess in the corner of my mom’s backyard.

    At first the task seemed overwhelming, but I spent about fifteen to twenty minutes each day digging up weeds, and after a week it was looking like a proper garden again.

    I wasn’t an experienced gardener, so I did some research to find out which vegetables were the easiest to grow.

    I settled on lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and zucchinis and I bought the seedlings from my local nursery.

    As well as the plants, I also installed a small bird bath so I could watch the birds while I was out in the garden.

    I really enjoyed watching the birds splashing around, so my next project was to make a bird feeder so I could attract more birds to the yard.

    Healing was a gradual process, and it took a few months before I noticed that my symptoms were improving.

    I was feeling calmer and more centered, and I wasn’t worrying about every little thing.

    The garden is now my sanctuary and the place where I feel the most peaceful.

    Gardening has many physical and mental health benefits including:

    Mindfulness

    When I’m out in the garden my mind is fully focused on the task at hand, so I’m not stressing about things from the past or what’s going on in my life at the time.

    I make an effort to appreciate and admire the beauty of the plants, and it’s really satisfying to watch them grow from tiny seedlings into mature plants.

    As well as vegetables, I’m now also growing herbs and a variety of different flowers, which are great for attracting bees and butterflies to the garden.

    Strength

    When my anxiety was at its worst, I had no energy or motivation to exercise. Even just doing the bare minimum tasks like showering and cooking left me drained.

    As I started spending more and more time in the garden, I noticed that my energy was improving and my body was getting stronger from all the bending, weeding, and digging I was doing.

    Sunshine

    Being out in the beautiful sunshine lifts my mood and it’s a great source of vitamin D, which can help to reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression, while also boosting the immune system.

    Nutrition

    Being able to harvest beautiful fresh herbs and vegetables from my garden inspired me to try new, healthier recipes so I was eating better than I had in years.

    The crisp lettuce and juicy tomatoes straight from the garden were so much more flavorful than anything I’d tasted from the grocery store, and I’m sure they were much more nutritious as well.

    If you have the space in your backyard to create a little garden, I’d definitely recommend giving it a try.

    What if you don’t have a garden?

    Try container gardening.

    There are many different vegetables that can be grown in containers including radishes, peppers, lettuce, spinach, and other salad greens.

    Get some indoor plants.

    Indoor plants are great for bringing a touch of nature indoors, and there are lots of compact plants that are ideal for apartments like succulents, air plants, or African violets.

    If you have more space, you could try a peace lily, rubber plant, or prayer plant.

    Create a windowsill garden.

    If you have a nice, sunny windowsill you could start a small herb garden with parsley, chives, and thyme.

    Herbs are fast growing, easy to care for and great for adding flavor to your meals.

    Join a community garden.

    Community gardens are popping up all over the place in cities around the country, and they’re great for meeting likeminded people who can share their gardening experience with you.

    Spend time in nature.

    If you’re not a green thumb you can still get the benefits of plants by getting out in nature.

    Try going for a hike if you have trails nearby, take a walk around your local park, visit a botanical garden or read a book underneath a tree.

    Next time you feel stressed or anxious, try surrounding yourself with plants and see if it helps you to feel calmer.

    Whether it’s caring for a small house plant, creating a garden of your own, or simply spending more time in nature, your mental health will benefit from having plants around you.

    I hope this has inspired you to give gardening a try!

  • How to Better Manage Stress So Little Things Don’t Set You Off

    How to Better Manage Stress So Little Things Don’t Set You Off

    “It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” ~Hans Selye

    I was driving home from work, minding my own business, when a car cut in front of me.

    Pretty common in Sydney traffic, right? Normally, I would just brush it off.

    But not today. For some reason I couldn’t explain, that simple event set me off. I got so irritated that I pressed both my hands on the horn and started shouting at the other driver—who just gave me the finger and continued on his merry way.

    That’s when I lost it. How dare he do something like this?

    I was determined to get even. To teach him a lesson.

    I was so immersed in rage that I almost caused an accident just to prove a point.

    Not my proudest moment, I know.

    Have you ever been through something like this? Something trivial suddenly escalating to a new level of crazy?

    Well, the other day I witnessed my neighbor screaming from his balcony at a dude passing by, just because he had gangster rap blasting out of a speaker. Okay, I can understand that you don’t agree with his musical preferences, but is this a reason to pick a fight with a stranger?

    Or, one Christmas Eve at a crowded parking lot of the local supermarket, I had a lady lash out at me for touching her car door with mine, when I was trying to hop in while holding a couple of grocery bags. I had to use all my self-control not to jump down her throat.

    I guess this sort of things happen to all of us. You know, you lose your cool and end up shouting at your kids in the food court of the shopping center. Or, you snap at your partner for loading the dishwasher the “wrong way.”

    It is as if we all have a Mr. Hyde waiting to come out.

    But why does this happen? And most importantly, how can we control the impulse to kill someone?

    The thing is that the “event” in itself is never the root cause of a rage fit. It is just the last drop on a very full cup.

    For instance, the day of my road rage episode, I was going home from a day that didn’t go as planned. While driving, I was ruminating on the things that didn’t work and I was already on edge.

    So, when the other driver cut me off, it just unleashed something that was already in the making. And if it wasn’t this event, it would have been something else.

    I was simply stressed out and unable to be my best self.

    And you know what? All of us are continually exposed to stressors. From our worries and anxieties, relationship conflicts, existential crises, and poor lifestyle choices to background noises, overstimulation, and information overload.

    Which means that our cups are constantly full. And if we don’t deal with it, we’ll always be one drop away from overflow.

    But is it realistic to think that you can completely eliminate stress from your life?

    Heck no. This type of expectation would only create more stress. You’d be stressing about not getting stressed.

    So what can we actually do to live better?

    Well, you have two options: you can empty your cup on regular basis, or you can upgrade your cup size (if you work on both, even better).

    Emptying your cup is what is known as stress-relief strategies. Those are the things you do on regular basis to blow off steam, like going for a jog or taking a bubble bath.

    These activities help you take your mind off your problems, creating space for your body to calm down. During this time, your body shifts from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest” mode, which is necessary to replenish your energy and recover from stress.

    But the key word here is REGULAR.

    Because these strategies are not likely to work when you are already bursting at the seams (you know what I mean if you ever tried meditating when you had a lot in your mind).

    Nope. They need to be part of your daily self-care routine. My suggestion is to create the habit of blocking off space in your calendar for a little “me time.”

    I know what you’re thinking. “Are you kidding? I don’t have time for that.”

    Seriously, self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity. For your sanity, and the safety of others around you.

    Now, there will be times in which you may not be able to relax even after a whole hour of deep tissue massage. Those are the times you get restless, lose sleep, and can’t function properly. That’s why you need to build a bigger cup (or a bucket) so that you’re better able to tolerate potential stressors.

    Upgrading your cup simply means investing time in building mindset skills. Skills to help you manage stress, deal better with adversity, and become a problem solver. As a result, you’ll be able to take more on without going cuckoo.

    It’s like developing a superpower.

    How? Here’s a little framework that can help you respond more wisely to stressful situations and minimize unnecessary stress.

    1. Becoming aware

    Awareness means noticing (without judgment) what is going on in your mind and body. It’s learning to identify emotions and feelings, thought patterns, and responses (how you react when something happens).

    This way you’ll be able to discover what sets you off and put a stop on knee-jerk reactions that you may have on autopilot.

    For instance, noticing that you get irritated when you feel disrespected, which leads to an acid remark from your part. Awareness gives you the opportunity to pause and choose a better way to respond.

    2. Practicing mental hygiene

    Mental hygiene means going through our mental rules and deciding on what is useful and what only causes us stress.

    The mind creates mental rules based on array of past experiences. The thing is that these mental rules end up defining how you’ll respond to an event in the future. That’s how we get stuck in vicious cycles.

    We create rules about how things “should” be done, how people “should” act, how they “should” respond in certain situations, how the world “should” work… With so many ideas of how things should be, we end up living in defense mode, constantly fighting against everything our mind judges as “wrong.”

    To move on, you’ll need to learn to let go.

    For example, I made a rule in my head that said that things needed to be neat all the time after growing up with a neat father. This was totally fine while I lived on my own. But when I moved in with my partner, it became a constant source of attrition. My Mr. Hyde often came out when my partner’s behaviors went against my internal rules. So, I decided to let go of this rule in order to have a peaceful home life.

    3. Rewriting the rules

    The truth is that all beliefs serve a purpose. They are the code of conduct that guides our behaviors. So when we decide to get rid of a rule, we need to make sure that the unconscious need behind is being met in another way.

    For instance, to be able to let go of the rule I mentioned above, I had to ask myself why it was so important to have things organized. With a little bit of soul searching, I came to realize that when my environment was neat and orderly, I could process thoughts and emotions more efficiently, which meant that I felt more in control of my life. This helped me put things into perspective and develop new guidelines.

    Now, I allow myself to make things neat, but I don’t obsess about it anymore. That means that I don’t get upset when my husband leaves a dirty sock here and there. I just remind myself that having a peaceful environment is more important. And I developed other ways to feel in control of my mind and body like adopting a meditation practice and building an exercise routine.

    So now I ask you, how full is your cup? And most importantly, what can you do to prevent spillage?

    If this’s all very new to you, you could start by creating a self-care routine that helps you empty your cup on regular basis. And if you already have one, then work on upgrading your cup. This way you’ll be less likely to explode over little things.

    Oh, and don’t get put off if you have slip-ups. Keep in mind that stress management is a skill that gets better (and easier) with practice.

  • You Deserve to Chill: How to Create Space to Heal and De-stress

    You Deserve to Chill: How to Create Space to Heal and De-stress

    “She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

    Why do we stress ourselves out? Why is it that being productive and getting tasks done is more important than healing and taking the time to feel calm?

    Stress and anxiety can affect our lives in so many different ways. A few years ago, it manifested itself in me physically, in a pretty gross way.

    There was a time I had a plantar wart on the bottom of my left foot, and it was very painful. When the pain got to the point that I couldn’t walk normally, I went to the dermatologist to get it burned off.

    I did this repeatedly for months on end, as it kept coming back. The wart was so sore that I walked differently, causing my knees to swell and my hips to become inflamed. This whole time, I didn’t think of myself as sick and needing to heal. I just took it. In both mind and body, I surrendered to the wart.

    In the meantime, I would always talk about how blessed I was to be so healthy.

    I mean, a wart doesn’t count, right?

    Then, it dawned on me. This was a question of deserving. Since I “wasn’t sick” I didn’t deserve sympathy for my pain, I didn’t deserve help around the house while I healed, nor did I deserve to stop doing everything for everyone else so I could focus on getting myself better. If I didn’t deserve to heal, did that mean I deserved to have the wart?

    This was crazy! I sat down in meditation and asked my inner wisdom what having this wart meant. It told me that I walked around all day serving everybody else, but I had to take care of myself, too.

    The wart was trying to get me to stop being everybody’s maid, waitress, nurse, teacher, and office manager by making it too painful to walk. 

    I was so ready to get rid of the wart that I listened. My inner dialogue became more soothing. Again, in meditation, I told myself silently that I was committed to taking care of me. I stuck to that commitment by delegating chores, making plans with girlfriends, and going to bed earlier. After two weeks of this, the wart was completely gone.

    The first step in addressing this “not-deserving wall” was to show myself some compassion—to give myself some understanding for the pain and suffering I experienced. This meant that instead of judging myself for being weak and stupid, I could acknowledge myself by saying, “I get it.”

    What an incredible relief this was to my psyche!

    Saying, “I get it,” changes the game. We’re validated and can lay down the cross (the “negative self-judgment”) and rest. Then, we can get up and—with that more loving relationship with ourselves—start to get better faster.

    I realized that suffering was suffering. No one, not even me, deserved to suffer. And everyone, even me, deserved help to get rid of it. So I practiced being easier on myself, stopped beating myself up about my anxiety, and I looked to my inner wisdom for help.

    This self-compassion helped me to like and trust myself and begin to see glimpses of the good skills I used to cope with life. Quickly, I felt less vulnerable and more empowered to make the change I so desired—to get better.

    So, back to the questions at the beginning of this article…

    Why do we stress ourselves out? Why is it that being productive and getting tasks done is more important than healing and taking the time to feel calm?

    The answer? Because healing isn’t tangible. You can’t check it off a list. It takes time and commitment.

    The next step was realizing that in order to make my healing a priority, I needed one very important thing: respite.

    Respite became part of my day. I transformed a corner of my home into a sacred place of contemplation, and I decided to spend time there everyday to breathe, meditate, and pray. In addition to taking time for stillness, I added a walk into my daily schedule to move my body and get out of my head.

    I also started going on retreats. This was an incredible source of solace for me. It allowed me to take a break from my usual daily grind and focus solely on myself and my healing. The memories I cultivated from these retreats have become touchstones for me when my life starts to get chaotic.

    We deserve to chill. We deserve to take a break from our lives. We deserve to heal. We deserve respite.

    Here is your invitation to chill. I hope you accept.

    You are cordially invited to heal from past and present hurts.

    You are invited to let go of worries, because you now know that you can handle whatever comes your way. You can gain confidence in your skills in managing yourself and you can be proud of your response.

    You are respectfully invited to connect with people. See relationships and situations from the big picture where things are not so personal, and not as “against you” as you thought. You see that everyone is going through their own stuff.

    You are invited to stop taking yourself so seriously. Ease up. Relax.

    I invite you to breathe easy since no matter what situation you are in, you are not alone.

    I invite you to have more fun, more silliness, more love.

    Humans have at least eighteen distinct types of smiles. I invite you to use one.

    I invite you to share. Do you need more time to just chill?

  • 8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

    8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

    “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

    It’s a common theme—jobs keep piling up, new problems arise, and deadlines are nearing. Taking time out for yourself to de-stress and rejuvenate is so far down the to-do list you don’t even consider it a possibility.

    But the long-term effects of putting yourself last are real, especially because they take a while to show. They creep up slowly until one day you’ve burnt out.

    When I was in this position, it didn’t end too well. The combination of dealing with long-term insomnia, hairdressing full-time, and studying led me to exhaustion.

    I had adrenal fatigue and my body was so tired that everything hurt. My eyes were constantly stinging, head continuously throbbing, and my muscles were always sore from never getting the rest they needed.

    I eventually quit hairdressing, because there’s only so long you can function as a zombie with sharp scissors in your hand, but I left to pursue my own business which brought with it even more work.

    I had to find a way to recharge constantly throughout the day if I wanted to keep up with such an involved career.

    You are your own most valuable asset, and no matter how important another task is, if you don’t dedicate some time to yourself, you’ll burn out. The harder you push, the harder you’ll fall.

    I learned how to find time to dedicate to me while working, studying, and sleeping only two hours a night. I’ll show you how you can do it, too.

    1. Let go of shoulds.

    Let go of telling yourself you should do certain things. If it’s not a necessity, don’t overthink it.

    Shoulds are guilt trips disguised as obligations, which add to extra stress and eat up time. Even if you don’t do anything else I mention in this post, let go of telling yourself you should do tasks you don’t need to do, or even want to do.

    The ones I constantly struggle with are “I should get up earlier to get more work done, I should do yoga every day, I should spend less time on my phone.” Whenever I catch myself saying these, I smile and simply reword it: “I should do whatever makes me feel good right now. What is that?”

    Sure, there are times when we need to push ourselves to make healthy choices. But if you’re too tired to go to the gym and it would make you feel good to take a walk through the park, that gets the job done too.

    This one change in perspective will make you feel lighter and happier throughout the entire day.

    2. Find a short, relaxing exercise routine.

    Whether it’s stretching exercises, yoga, or a moving meditation, a short routine like this is ideal.

    You address three things in one go: You give yourself fifteen minutes to yourself, you get your blood flowing to your head and around your body, and you relax and stretch out your tight muscles.

    Rather than choosing a fifteen-minute power yoga session to “make it worthwhile,” find something that feels good that allows you to feel centered. Don’t worry about how many calories you’ll burn; this is purely for pleasure.

    There are plenty of guided videos on YouTube, so you don’t even need to go to a class to reap the relaxing benefits.

    3. Spoil yourself.

    No matter how small it is, get out of the house and get something done that makes you feel good.

    Haven’t brushed your hair properly in a month? Go to the salon and get a hair treatment. Shoulders are tired and achy? Get some acupuncture or a massage.

    Even when the budget doesn’t allow for a indulging, remember that you are fully qualified and capable of looking after yourself!

    Try soaking your feet in a tub of hot water with epsom salts while listening to a podcast, relaxing music, or an audiobook. You want this to be an enjoyable timeout so listen to your body and let it tell you what it wants.

    4. Get away for a day.

    You may genuinely not have time right now to leave for a day, but what about if you committed to going in three weeks’ time? Could you aim to get everything done before then or book the rest in for when you return?

    Changing scenery and getting away from your usual routine will do wonders to your mind. Leave everything and decide that on this one specific day nothing else matters.

    5. Set yourself a daily routine.

    I first learned about efficient daily routines from a book called The Miracle Morning. In a nutshell, this routine consists of completing the six most efficient personal development practices, every single morning.

    These include meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling.

    I read The Miracle Morning when I had insomnia. Falling asleep before 3am was a “good night,” so the idea of getting up an hour early wasn’t even something I’d consider. But I knew there was something to it.

    So instead of mornings, I would find time during the day to complete these, and not always all at once, either. Ten minutes of reading on my lunch break, ten minutes of exercise when I got home, ten minutes of journaling and visualizations before bed, and so on.

    If I ever found myself sitting there doing nothing (or worse, mindlessly flicking through social media!) I would try to complete another one.

    Though this wasn’t the “correct” way to do it, it introduced me to a world of self-love and forgiveness. I forgave my mind for not falling asleep when I needed it to, I forgave myself for the anger I felt when I was tired and cranky every morning, and I decided to give myself the love I deserved.

    By doing these short practices throughout the day you prove to yourself you’re worth this time to serve you. And the best part is that it doesn’t require a big chunk of time to benefit.

    “The moment you accept responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the moment you gain the power to change ANYTHING in your life.” ~Hal Elrod, The Miracle Morning

     6. Find a hobby.

    What is something you love to do? Something you’re yearning to do, but don’t?

    Can you find a community group that does this on a regular basis? Imagine connecting with likeminded people while doing something you love.

    When you reconnect with an activity you enjoy you’ll fall in love with how it makes you feel, which means you’ll make it a priority to do regularly.

    Whether it’s an art class or salsa dancing, fulfill this desire you have and it’ll naturally lead to letting go of stress.

    7. Leave criticisms and gossip; express gratitude instead.

    We’ve all been there, even though we know it makes us feel terrible and accomplishes nothing.

    Instead, talk about your latest achievements or something fabulous you noticed someone else doing. Tell your friend that you love what she’s been doing lately, and ask her what she’s learned from it.

    Not only might you learn something new, but showing gratitude and appreciation is the quickest and easiest way to feel excited and alive.

    Do you ever notice how you light up when you’re pumped about something? How you start talking three times faster and can’t even express in words how happy it makes you?

    We could all benefit from raising each other up and celebrating accomplishments and it would lead to building strong, happy, and powerful relationships.

    8. Find a song that makes you go places.

    You know the ones that give you goose bumps and make you forget about the rest of the world for those few minutes? Keep those songs handy, whether they’re on your phone or saved in YouTube. Then when you need a break all it takes is to plug your earphones in and listen.

    You don’t always need to do something to fix a problem; sometimes all it takes is to let go, surrender, and let your problems and stresses melt away.

    Dedicating time to yourself is essential to de-stress and rejuvenate. And as you can see, these ways are achievable no matter how busy you are.

    The aim is to do small, purposeful practices throughout the day to truly make your moments count. Which one will you start on first?

  • 5 Unusual Ways to Meditate for Simple Daily De-stressing

    5 Unusual Ways to Meditate for Simple Daily De-stressing

    Dancing Meditation

    “Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

    Meditating even for just two minutes every day could help reduce your anxiety, calm your mind, and energize the senses. That’s two minutes of your twenty-four hours. Two minutes that could lengthen your life as you get rid of the negative energy surrounding you and welcome the positive.

    Contrary to what you may think, meditation doesn’t have to be in an empty house or room overlooking gorgeous scenery. It would be a bonus, yes, but I have proven that you can clear your mind even while doing these seemingly mundane tasks.

    Let me share with you my not-so-secret ways of meditating that have always drawn more than their fair share of curiosity simply because they’re not among the most common practice.

    1. Riding the bus or train to work.

    I used to commute a lot. On some days, I would people-watch—create stories in my head about the people I commute with. Most of the time, I would listen to music. Until one day, while one of my favorite songs was playing, my mind just drifted away.

    I wasn’t even concentrating, not even paying attention to my breathing. I just felt a sense of calm wash over me. That has been one of the most peaceful five minutes of my life.

    Use long stretches of travel to meditate. A five-minute journey into your self wouldn’t make you miss your stop. Instead, it will help reduce the noises of life so you can easily receive the signals that have meaning.

    2. Eating a meal.

    How could you meditate while eating a meal? I can hear that question in your head. For some of us who are used to eating with the whole family, or with a big group during lunch at work, it may seem highly unlikely, as we love exchanging stories and how-our-day-has-beens.

    You don’t have to keep quiet when you meditate while eating, though. You can be with family and friends but still be able to achieve that calm to silence any turbulent thoughts you may have. Eating has become a hurried, mindless task for most of us that it has been reduced to open mouth, shove food, and swallow.

    Smell your food, feel its texture as you chew slowly. Is it tangy, too sweet, or too salty? The trick is to be in the moment, being aware of the sumptuous feast before you. Savor it. Enjoy it as it goes down to your body to nourish it. Eating is not a race; slow down.

    Once you have mastered this, you’ll find that eating has become more pleasurable. You’ll also discover that you’ll eat less, as you are more in tune with your body’s needs.

    3. Taking long showers.

    They say some of the best ideas come up in the shower. Maybe it’s because showers don’t only cleanse our physical body but our mental state as well. The spray of the shower, the smell of your favorite shampoo scent all these contribute to the wonderful feeling of being one with the universe.

    When I am feeling particularly troubled, I soak in the tub for a good fifteen minutes to soothe tired muscles and confused mind. The warm water entices the soul, helping draw the bad energy away so you are left with renewed spirits, being able to welcome great ideas.

    4. Dancing to your favorite tune.

    Dance or kundali meditation is one of the more popular, albeit a little unusual, ways to meditate. No, it doesn’t involve chanting or keeping still, but it gives you the chance to break free from whatever’s ailing you.

    Dancing, while not one of my strongest suits, allows you to let go of the tension building inside your body and get in touch with your inner self. There are actually dancing meditation soundtracks you can move to, but I would recommend something familiar that you could actually sing along with or better associate with for the full experience.

    5. Creating Lego figures.

    As I have mentioned above, mechanical activities imitate the meditative quality of chanting. I have found, during one of those rare times I actually sat down and tinkered with my Lego pieces again, that it’s a great way to lose one’s self.

    Once you have poured all your attention into all the details of your creation, you block out noise and ignore the rest of the world. We practice meditation to promote relaxation and build internal energy or life force. Taking all your Lego pieces to assemble something out of it is a great and fun way to de-stress.

    See, not too bad, yes? We can all have the time to take leisurely baths or take pleasure while having dinner. Commuting doesn’t have to be such a torture. We can use these activities to go deeper into the recesses of our mind and body and find that inner peace we need to be more productive and energetic.

    Photo by Misha Masha