Tiny Buddha

Tag: confident

  • The Secret to Instant Self-Confidence

    The Secret to Instant Self-Confidence

    “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

    Self-confidence is an interesting concept.

    You see, we all have ways of feeling good, bad, low, light, and peaceful. We all have triggers that tell us when to experience these states.

    The really interesting part is that you can challenge how you respond to those triggers and change the strategies you use.

    There have been countless times in my life where I haven’t felt absolutely confident.

    For example, I used to be very shy around people. I just didn’t believe I had anything to say, so I used to freeze. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people.

    It felt safer to be quiet, but after awhile it got really boring—and when someone is really bored, they’re often in fear because they’ve put so many restrictions on themselves.

    What helped me work through the fear and start being me was tapping into a feeling of confidence, or sometimes just another positive feeling.

    It could be as simple as thinking of something that made me feel good, or even thinking about the fact that we are all human, and we are all made of the same earth.

    It’s not going to happen overnight, but once you become aware of the triggers in your life, you can exponentially increase the amount of bliss you experience.

    You can try to resist feeling happy all you want, but sooner or later you will start experiencing that bubbly joyous feeling inside of you, because that is who you really are deep down inside.

    That is who we all are. (more…)

  • Fostering the Right Attitude: Know Who You Are

    Fostering the Right Attitude: Know Who You Are

    Woman with Open Arms

    “I urge you to try not to get hung up in the mentality that says ‘I hope I don’t lose him (or her),’ but foster the attitude that says ‘He should be appreciative of having me in his life.’”

    I read these words in the midst of a downward emotional spiral, and they grounded me almost immediately.

    I was fifty-three when I read Marie’s words. I was in the eighth year of my relationship with my husband and realized that I had become a shell of the woman I was when I first met him. Amidst all the compromises I’d made to keep my relationship, I had compromised myself away.

    By the time I reached forty, I had experienced enough of life to know relationships work best when individuals are authentic. I’m in awe of those who discover this treasure early in life.

    And, forty was a turning point for me. My mother had died at forty, my first husband at age twenty-one. So, reaching forty brought with it a dramatic realization. There was a tremendous gift in front of me—time—and I would not waste it.

    I devoted an inordinate amount of time and energy in my young adult life to finding for another Mr. Right; so I decided that I would not invest any more in that endeavor. I had raised my son, cultivated a successful career, put myself through college, and had recently bought my own home.

    I concluded my life was grand just as it was. I did not need someone else to complete me.

    Never did, actually. That frame of mind is society’s conditioning that a single person is half of something: it’s an albatross many of us carry until we choose to lighten the load. (more…)

  • 8 Ways to Be More Confident: Live the Life of Your Dreams

    8 Ways to Be More Confident: Live the Life of Your Dreams

    “With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama

    For the vast majority of my life I didn’t believe I could do most of the things I wanted to do.

    I knew I wanted to be in a relationship, but I feared that if I got into one I’d do something to mess it up.

    I wanted to perform on Broadway, but even moving to New York City didn’t give me the courage to audition.

    I wanted to be a writer, but I thought it was far too difficult to get published and therefore didn’t even try until my late twenties.

    Maybe you’ve never been as unsure of yourself as I used to be, but you can likely relate to that feeling of wanting to do something but feeling terrified to start. This not only limits your potential in life; it also minimizes your ability to make a positive impact on the world around you.

    There’s a lot that goes into overcoming those fears. You may need to challenge limiting beliefs formed years ago, or take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities. One thing that will definitely help is working on your confidence.

    Not sure if confidence can be learned? I asked this question on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page to see what readers had to say and then used some of their responses to shape the steps outlined below: (more…)