Tag: Challenges

5 Tips to Accept Your Weaknesses: The First Step Toward Growth

“Growth begins when we begin to accept our weaknesses.” ~Jean Vanier

I went out with my mom this Sunday, a beautiful, sunny, fall day in San Francisco. As we sat on a bench looking out over the bay and ate our vegetarian spring rolls, she reminded me of an incident that happened when I was a teenager when she and I had traveled to the Grand Canyon.

In a nutshell, I had gotten irate over a family that was feeding the ground squirrels French fries right next to a sign that said “Don’t Feed the Squirrels.” I went up to them and, apparently, was very vehement in my request that they stop feeding the F&*$% squirrels their F&*%$ junk food.

My mom laughed as she recounted the story (and how she now tells it to others), but I froze up in shame.

I remember how badly I felt afterwards for losing my cool like that—how I felt like shrinking up and disappearing. What to my mom was a funny story of a teenage freak-out, to me was yet another reminder of how flawed I am.

The story reminded me of hundreds of other times—some as recent as a couple of weeks ago—when I lost my temper and lost control. And how each time, I’ve felt the cold fingers of shame, guilt, and regret, and wonder despairingly what is so wrong with me that I can’t seem to stop blowing up at people.

I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people who forgive me my faults and flaws as I forgive theirs. I can never hold a grudge for very long because I know how it feels to make mistakes.

Always, when I’ve lost it with someone, I’ve apologized profusely, and I’ve used these incidents as opportunities to look inside myself and explore what happened, what triggered my anger, and how I can help make it less likely to happen in the future. (more…)

November 4, 2010
9 Ways to Cope When Bad Things Happen

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

Have you ever experienced times when you go through just one bad thing after another? When it seems like the world is out to get you? When things go wrong no matter what you do?

You are not alone. Bad things happen to all of us too, including me. I experienced a small set back recently which I want to share with you.

Not too long ago, I was working on my upcoming eBook. It was my #1 priority project at that time and I had been working on it tirelessly, day and night. After lots of hard work, I was 90% done. At that time, it was 630 pages. (The final book was almost 800 pages.)

I was happy with the progress. Cover done, foreword written, articles in place, right order, formatting done, layout completed—it was on track to launch in a week’s time. (more…)

October 31, 2010
The Magic of Making Mistakes: 3 Tips to Lead an Exciting Life

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

This year has been a massive change for me. I had enough of the lameness that was freezing my previous life. Always experiencing the same days, meeting the same people, and doing the same things. Over and over again. Enough!

I did a complete 180-turn.

I changed the way I perceive mistakes and that made all the difference. My life is now more exciting than ever. I meet awesome people and do awesome things.

Making mistakes has been the life changing magic that I was lacking before.

Here are my three vibrant tips that will drastically change the way you perceive mistakes: (more…)

September 8, 2010
25 Questions to Help Solve Problems That Seem Insurmountable

“No problem is insurmountable. With a little courage, teamwork, and determination, a person can do anything.” ~Unknown

Some problems seem far too overwhelming to solve. When you’re buried in debt or trying to bounce back from a huge error in judgment, it can feel like there’s no way out.

I remember when I first learned about my fibroids last year. Since I didn’t have health insurance at the time, I feared I wouldn’t be able to afford treatment, and I was tempted to beat myself up for allowing myself to be uninsured.

On top of that, I worried about my health. I wondered: Why did I develop those growths in the first place? What if they grew uncomfortably large before I was able to remove them? And what if I had other undiagnosed conditions?

Overpowered as I was with fears and regrets, it felt nearly impossible to identify a solution. But there was one—and it was far simpler than I realized at first.

As soon as I focused and stopped getting caught up in “should haves” and “what ifs,” I started researching insurance plans and found one for people with pre-existing conditions.

Of course, that was only the first step. I needed to find a good doctor, pick the best treatment, and find the money to pay for my part of the surgery. But it was all doable.

It may have taken several months, but eventually, I made my way to the other side of that challenge.

Now, three months post-surgery, I’m healthier and more energized. And though I know my fibroids can grow back at any time, regardless of what I do, I’m prepared to handle that if and when it happens.

I know that if the problem comes back, I can overcome it.

When we’re knee-deep in the messiness of an obstacle, it can feel like there’s no way around it. There isn’t—if we aren’t open to discovering it. We can only create and follow a plan if we believe it’s possible.

If your current challenge seems insurmountable, it might help you to step back and try to see things differently.

These questions may help you change your thinking about this problem and discover the action steps to solve it. (more…)

July 29, 2010
6 Timeless Principles to Deal with Resistance and Excel in Life

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” ~Chinese Proverb

I wasn’t the best student in college. I skipped classes, didn’t do my assignments, and barely studied for my tests. Needless to say, I flunked those exams.

I realized after a few months that I didn’t want to continue on like this. If I wanted to make the most out of my life, I had to first be responsible for my studies.

So I buckled down and set out to achieve the best results. It wasn’t easy, and I’m not talking about the studying part. There was resistance all around me.

First, my schoolmates weren’t the most positive people in the world.

My college was one of the poorer performing schools then. Many students weren’t happy studying there as it wasn’t their first choice. They often degraded themselves, saying “we’re doomed for failure.”

If that wasn’t enough, my teachers were discouraging; too because many were disgruntled about working there. They kept comparing us with the students from schools they taught in before—the better schools—saying we’d never get anywhere.

I decided to ignore the negativity and spend my energy working on my goals. (more…)

July 11, 2010
6 Steps to Work Through the Pain of Change
“Change is the only constant.” ~Heraclitus

Life can be a constant barrage of new and exciting experiences. Still, even the most savvy and confident of us can get thrown off balance during the unexpected changes life throws our way.

My husband’s job means that we move—a lot. I dislike moving, but every time there is an opportunity to move through the pain and find a new sense of peace.

There is nothing I could do, short of leaving my husband, to change that we move often. But I love him, and almost all other elements of our lives are positives, so I work through the changes.

Not everyone is aware when a change has upset the balance in their lives. Often, super-confident people have no idea until they notice other signs of trouble. You may notice it as changes in your body or emotions.

Signals Include:
- Feeling irritable and edgy with people you love
- Sleeping more or less than usual
- Changing your eating habits
- Drinking more alcohol
- Feeling physical “aches” (headaches, backaches, stomachaches)
It’s difficult to relax and enjoy the incredible adventure of living when you’re feeling physically or emotionally off-kilter. However, if you’re willing to embrace change and be present to it, what you find on the other side may justify the discomfort.

Sometimes happiness, peace, and a renewed sense of passion are just one messy transition away. (more…)
May 25, 2010
On Learning to Cope with Conflict

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

I fell apart a couple of years ago, unable to cope with the strain I was under—a change in my lifestyle, loss of job security, a less-than-perfect relationship with a parent, bereavement, a painful physical injury, and slowly, through all of that, the blossoming of serious mental illness.

All the while, right up until this month in fact, I’ve been thinking and wishing: “I want all of this to go away, to have never been.”

I shut myself away—terrified of people’s reactions to my mental health, convinced that my life was over at the age of twenty-three.

I’d never be able to get a job again. People would be too frightened to talk to me if they knew the truth. I’d never make a friend again, and the ones I’d managed to keep hold of as I gradually came apart at the seams would end up leaving me.

My wish came true as I began to hide myself away.

I stopped doing the things I loved, like going out for walks along the riverside and meeting up with close friends. I became a hermit and was pretty relieved to have all of the conflict and the potential for conflict that I was so anxious about vanish from my sight.

I felt safe for the first time in months even though I had sacrificed many of the things I loved. I was happy enough, and that was good enough. (more…)

January 11, 2010