Tiny Buddha

Tag: bored

  • The Value of Doing Nothing in a Hyperproductive World

    The Value of Doing Nothing in a Hyperproductive World

    “Allow yourself to be bored a little. In our world full of distractions, create some space for nothingness.” ~Unknown

    My roommate sat in the kitchen, eating his late home-cooked dinner, and commented with a half-mocking smile, “Ah, you’re still living.”

    The words hung in the air, awkwardly playful but sharp enough to sting. They echoed something larger: the subtle judgment that creeps into our culture of relentless productivity.

    Confusion bubbled up inside me, followed quickly by shame. My cheeks turned red. I had spent most of this sunny Saturday alone in my room—reading books, listening to music, writing a little, and, to be honest, staring out the window, feeling restless.

    “What do you do all day?” he asked, genuinely curious.

    Yes, what I felt was definitely shame. In a world that glorifies busyness, I often feel like a criminal for spending an entire day at home, or for strolling through the city without real plans. The implicit expectation to do something, to make the day “count,” feels suffocating.

    “Reading and writing,” I replied, suppressing the urge to explain myself.

    He looked puzzled. “You can’t fill a whole day with writing, can you? Isn’t that boring?”

    Here it was: the quintessential clash between introversion and extroversion. He didn’t understand me, though, in fairness, I think he wanted to. I was tempted to agree, to downplay my day and say, “Yes, it’s boring sometimes.” But I stopped myself.

    Because recently, I’ve realized something important: I need that stillness.

    The Shame of “Doing Nothing”

    His confusion wasn’t just personal; it felt like a question society constantly asks people like me: What are you doing with your time? In a culture that glorifies constant productivity, the idea of having unstructured time is almost heretical. If you’re not ticking off items on a to-do list or working toward a measurable goal, then what exactly are you contributing?

    This shame runs deeper than personal insecurity—it’s rooted in a culture that values productivity above all else. The industrial revolution reinforced the belief that time is money, a resource to be maximized. Today, even our leisure activities are judged: hobbies are monetized, vacations become opportunities for curated Instagram posts, and relaxation feels like something we must earn.

    For me, this shame shows up in subtle ways. If I spend an afternoon reading or writing without a clear goal, I catch myself justifying it: It’s practice for my craft. When a friend asks how my weekend went, I feel compelled to list the “productive” things I did—chores, errands, something quantifiable—before admitting that I spent hours simply being. It’s as though I need permission to slow down, even from myself.

    But this obsession with busyness comes at a cost. It fuels burnout, anxiety, and a relentless sense of inadequacy. It leaves us disconnected from ourselves and the quiet, unstructured moments that bring clarity and peace. What happens when we’re always striving to prove our worth through what we achieve? We lose the ability to simply be.

    Stillness as a Portal to Creativity

    What I’ve come to understand is that restlessness isn’t the enemy. It’s the hum beneath the surface where creativity brews. When I sit still or let myself feel bored, something unexpected arises: a fleeting thought, a fresh perspective, or a spark of an idea. Those unhurried moments, I’ve learned, are where the magic happens.

    Our culture teaches us to fear downtime, to see it as wasted hours. However, it’s often in those “empty” moments that our most meaningful insights emerge. I’ve had some of my best ideas while folding laundry or lying on the couch doing nothing in particular.

    As Julia Cameron writes in The Artist’s Way, creativity requires spaciousness. She even prescribes a full week of media deprivation—no social media, no podcasts, no books—to help artists reconnect with their inner world. By removing distractions, she argues, we create the room to truly sit with our feelings and thoughts.

    In my own life, I’ve noticed this truth. Some of my favorite moments are not grand or planned—they’re the small, unexpected joys that arise during quiet days. When I’m doing dishes, I’ll start humming, then singing, and maybe even dancing. What felt like a mundane chore transforms into a moment of aliveness.

    Why We Need Unstructured Days

    The irony is that the days I spend without clear plans often end up being the most productive—not in a traditional sense, but in the way they nurture my inner world. These are the days when my thoughts settle, untangle, and expand. They’re not lazy days; they’re spacious ones.

    In fact, I’ve started to see quiet time as a quiet rebellion against a world that demands constant output. When I allow myself to slow down, to let go of the need to perform or produce, I’m pushing back against a culture that equates worth with busyness.

    But this isn’t easy. Society tells us to fear idleness, to run from it with endless distractions: a scroll through Instagram, a new TV series, a side hustle. Slowing down feels countercultural, even indulgent. But I believe it’s necessary.

    The next time someone questions how you spend your time—or when you catch yourself feeling guilty for slowing down—try reframing the question. What if restlessness isn’t wasted time, but the soil where creativity and self-discovery take root?

    A New Definition of Productivity

    So, was my roommate right? Is it boring? Sure, sometimes. But that quietness isn’t a problem; it’s a gift. It’s the pause between notes in a symphony, the blank page before a story. It’s not laziness; it’s space where something always stirs.

    What if we saw stillness differently—not as something to avoid, but as a doorway to clarity, creativity, and reflection?

    Maybe it’s time for your own experiment. Turn off the noise, let yourself stare out the window, and see what stirs in the quiet. You might be surprised at what emerges.

    What about you? How do you feel about unstructured time? Is it something you avoid, or have you discovered its unexpected value? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

  • What to Do When You Feel Stuck, Stagnant, and Bored with Your Life

    What to Do When You Feel Stuck, Stagnant, and Bored with Your Life

    “Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.” ~L.J. Vanier

    Earlier last year, I felt like I finally had it all. Good education? Check. Respectable corporate job? Check. Decent salary? Check. Fancy car? Check. Charming, funny, and handsome boyfriend? Check. Stylish apartment? Check.

    I should’ve been happy. So why didn’t I feel like I was? My life looked perfect on paper. So why did it still feel so empty? I’d done everything I thought I was supposed to. So why did I feel like a fraud? I had everything I’d ever wanted. So why didn’t it feel like enough?

    The answer is simple: I’d been too busy trying to curate a life that looked good on the outside to recognize how I felt on the inside. I’d been too busy trying to be who other people wanted me to be to realize who I actually was. I’d been too busy trying to seem important to identify what was actually important to me.

    I’d been too busy blindly going through the motions to realize that I was settling for jobs that didn’t align with my dreams, relationships that didn’t align with my needs, and a lifestyle that didn’t align with my values.

    For years, I’d been running on autopilot, my perpetual action serving as a convenient distraction. And it worked. Right up until the moment that I unpacked the last box on the day that my boyfriend and I moved in together.

    Because, as I sat there in our big, beautiful apartment, looking around at the designer furniture that I’d so carefully picked out and the face of the man that I’d not-so-carefully chosen to spend my life with, it hit me: Everything that I’d spent so long dreaming about was here, firmly within my grasp. It was a moment that had I had always fantasized about. But this was not how I imagined I would feel.

    At first, I put it down to situational jitters. Sure, I was crippled with anxiety, paralyzed by fear, and plagued with self-doubt most of the time, but that’s normal, right? It was a big transition, after all.

    And admitting to myself that something wasn’t working would mean making changes. Admitting to myself that I’d chosen the wrong path would mean stepping into the unknown. Admitting to myself that I wasn’t happy would mean taking responsibility. And I sure as hell wasn’t ready to do that.

    But with each hollow day and each sleepless night that passed, the feelings of dread, dissatisfaction, and emptiness only grew more and more unshakable.

    It wasn’t until the facade inevitably collapsed and I found myself single, unemployed, and moving back in with my parents that I realized: Those feelings weren’t a coincidence. They were a warning. A flashing, neon-lit sign that something was very, very wrong.

    The truth is, no amount of external approval can truly satisfy us. No amount of material excess can rescue us from our feelings. No amount of romantic attention can make our problems go away. And no amount of hedonistic thrills can fill the void of a soul that’s been neglected.

    For my entire adult life, I’d consistently and consciously chosen money over meaning, chemistry over connection, and validation over truth—and now I was paying the price.

    When the objects and attachments that had long awarded me the illusion of safety, purpose, and identity were gone, suddenly, I was unanchored, drifting and directionless, grasping for anything to save me from drowning in the sea of emptiness that stretched before me.

    I knew that I should be doing something with my life. But what? I had no hobbies, no interests, and no passions. I didn’t know what I enjoyed doing, let alone what I wanted to do.

    Besides, I was too shy, too cautious, too boring. People like me don’t do brave and adventurous things like starting a blog or becoming a yoga teacher or traveling the world. People like me conform and comply and consent to the life that has been prescribed to them.

    But rock bottom is a bittersweet place. Because when you find yourself face-to-face with your fears, you have no choice but to overcome them. When you no longer know who you are, you have no choice but to rediscover yourself. And when your entire life has fallen apart, you have no choice but to rebuild it.

    A spiritual awakening, an early-life crisis, a dark night of the soul—call it what you want. All I know is that, up until that point, it felt like I had been asleep, and I was finally starting to wake up. And the world didn’t seem so scary anymore. In fact, it seemed full of exciting possibilities.

    For the first time in my life, I felt alive and ready to follow my heart.

    So began a magical journey of self-discovery. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, like a seed sprouting into a plant, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly, I was reborn. And this new life that I’ve created is far better than the one that I left behind.

    The thing is, the minute I loosened my grip on the plans I had for the future, the minute I released the self-limiting beliefs that had dictated the way that I lived, the minute I shed the fictional expectations I’d placed on myself, I was liberated. Liberated from the life that had been crushing my hopes, repressing my dreams, sapping my spirit, and bankrupting my soul.

    The minute I gave myself permission to be me is the minute that I learned the true meaning of freedom.

    This last year, I’ve seen places that I never thought I would, done things that I never thought I could, and changed in ways that I didn’t think possible.

    I’ve launched a blog, joined a yoga course, taken a solo backpacking trip, taught myself new skills, made new friends and connections, started new hobbies, and set myself goals. I’ve said goodbye to the corporate world that was corrupting my values, the unhealthy relationships that were dragging me down, and the destructive habits that were holding me back.

    And I haven’t looked back since.

    So what can you do if you find yourself sleepwalking through life, feeling stuck, stagnant, dazed, and disconnected?

    Slow down.

    You don’t have to make any decisions right away. In fact, the more time you take, the better.

    You can’t make effective choices if you’re afraid. You can’t make accurate assessments if you’re checked out. And you can’t discover what’s really meaningful to you if you’ve lost touch with your emotions.

    So give yourself space. Make self-care a priority. Tune in to yourself.

    And the answers that you’ve been looking for? You’ll probably find that they’ve been right there inside of you all along. Chances are, you just haven’t been paying attention.

    Stop comparing.  

    Too often, we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of measuring ourselves against others. And with Instagram feeds inundated with skinny waistlines, flashy cocktail bars, exotic adventures, and picture-perfect families, who can really blame us?

    But just because something is right for someone else doesn’t mean that it’s right for you. Just because someone else seems like they’ve got it together doesn’t mean that they do. And just because the grass looks greener on the other side doesn’t mean that it is.

    So stop comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty. Own your mess. Know that you are enough, imperfections and all.

    Get to know yourself.

    In the midst of my personal crisis, I would spend hours trawling the Internet, frantically Googling things like “how do I find my passion?” But I learned that your passion isn’t something you find. It isn’t something you discover overnight. And it isn’t something that has the power to change your life. Only you can do that.

    Life isn’t about finding your passion. It’s about being curious. Curious about who you are, about what you have to offer the world, and about what’s deeply and authentically important to you.

    So get introspective. Explore new things. Learn what lights you up.

    Ask yourself: What are your hobbies? What topics are you interested in? What are you good at? What are your values? Who do you admire and why? What have you always wanted to try but never had the money/time/courage to do? What activities did you enjoy as a child?

    And if you find something that scares you and excites you at the same time, do that.

    Let go.

    Nothing in life is permanent. Everything is changing all of the time. And the more you resist, the more you cling, the more you struggle against reality, the more you’re going to suffer.

    The reality is, most of what happens in life is out of your control. And in attempting to change, force, or manipulate your circumstances to meet your ideals, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment.

    But if you learn how to relax with the uncertainty, how to surrender to the natural flow of life, and how to release what no longer serves you, you’re going to make way for what will serve you. So let go of the old blueprint you had for your life, the expectations that you set for yourself, and the idea that the past could or should have been different.

    Be open to change. Allow things to fall away. Trust that things will unfold as they are supposed to.

    Be true to yourself.

    This is your life. It’s up to you to decide what you do with it.

    The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you. And if you let your fears dictate your choices, if you let external opinions govern your actions, and if you let negative thoughts influence your beliefs, you’ll end up settling for what’s comfortable for you instead of what’s best for you.

    So stop getting in your own way. Define what success means to you and say no to everything that isn’t that. Don’t be afraid to share your gifts with the world—because we’re waiting.

    We might not be able to choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we spend our time on this Earth.

    We can choose to spend it working toward our dreams, or we can choose to spend it working toward someone else’s.

    We can choose to spend it doing something that is meaningful to us, or we can choose to spend it doing something that is meaningful to someone else.

    We can choose to spend it following our hearts, or we can choose to spend it helping someone else to follow theirs.

    I know what I’d rather be doing. Do you?

    “There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky, and you ask ‘What if I fall?’ Oh but my darling, what if you fly.” ~Eric Hanson

  • When You Feel Like You’re Going Nowhere and Life Has No Point

    When You Feel Like You’re Going Nowhere and Life Has No Point

    “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Wayne Dyer

    How many days do you wake up feeling like you’re a hamster on a wheel? You brush your teeth, take a shower, drink your coffee, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and rinse and repeat.

    Do you wonder how you can keep going and keep everything together when it feels like you’re doing nothing, going nowhere, and living some life you weren’t meant for?

    Do you ever wonder what to do on those days where you feel like you can’t go on? On days where life seems to have no point? You’re going through the motions, but there is always an empty pit somewhere inside your soul that never seems to fill.

    It seems that no matter how hard you try, you end up in the same spot, in the same position having to start all over again, and your inability to change your messed up emotional patterns starts taking an excruciating toll.

    You wonder and think and read and try to break free from the subconscious battles within your mind, but the negative stranglehold has a strong grip and does not want to release you so easily.

    Maybe the pain has become intolerable, and instead of going away it has continued to eat away at your peace of mind bit by bit. But, then another day dawns and you’re still here and you live to start again.

    I have been in a cycle of rinse and repeat for more years than I care to remember. I have changed jobs at least ten times, apartments and locations twenty-three times, and boyfriends six times. I’ve had the same happy hour and the same weekends and the same soul-searching periods over and over and over again.

    I have tried to change all these external things because I figured changing the outside would change the inside. But like they always say, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

    Despite traveling the world, changing jobs, moving, and having relationships, I live my life in a little bubble because I feel safe there, and staying safe means being resistant to any real transformation. It doesn’t matter that I’ve changed my circumstances; the end result is always the same: I feel bored and empty and lost and alone.

    You feel bored and empty and lost and alone because you never really do anything different. Whether you stay stuck because you’re an introvert or you have social anxiety or you’re depressed or you’re lazy doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is, change nothing and nothing will change.

    Look, I get it. I am a tried and true introvert, so developing relationships is exhausting. People think I’m extroverted because I can talk quite a bit one-on-one, but put me in a group and I’ll clam up. I become super anxious at parties or in large groups of people, preferring one-on-one in-depth interactions. Being an introvert makes life a little more challenging in a world that embraces and rewards extroversion.

    So, maybe there are days when you feel like you’re going nowhere and you don’t fit in and life has no point. But, you can change it, even if just a little. There are some little things you can do to change your patterns and your life.

    How Do You Keep Trying?

    First, you get up every damn day and say, “Today is a day for change” and you do your best and face the world, whether you want to or not. Every day you fight for yourself because if you don’t, no one else will. I know it’s hard and I know some days you want to stay in bed with the covers over your head. But, don’t do it. Get up. Go for a walk. Do something. Anything.

    Some days I force myself to get in the car and drive to the beach (okay, it’s only four miles) because I’m so comfortable in my apartment. Every time I get there I’m happy I did. I roll out my towels and read a book while listening to the waves crash, or I walk along the water’s edge watching the sand between my toes and squishing those weird little seaweed blobs.

    Second, you start becoming aware of the negative thought patterns in your mind and how they affect you when you get caught up in them. The truth is, you are reacting to events in your life in a way that is detrimental rather than helpful. Negativity breeds more negativity and keeps you stuck on that hamster wheel.

    I’m not saying it’s easy. I get it. Some days when I’m trying super hard to think positively, my mind says, “Yeah, I don’t care. I am going to feel or think this way anyway, so deal with it.” Some days I simply need to embrace how I feel instead of forcing myself to be positive. But I know I need to eventually shift my mindset or I’ll always be stuck. So, I keep trying. If you can’t change the way you see the world, then the world you see will never change.

    Recently I found myself on the verge of a breakup, a move, a deploying boyfriend, and no job. My head went into a tailspin worrying about what I would do or where I would go and why this was happening. But, with all the work I’ve been doing on myself, I decided to see everything in a new light.

    Maybe this was an opportunity for positive change instead of a devastating loss. I stopped worrying and started believing I would be okay. I was only able to do this because I have been practicing changing my perspective. Think of your mind as a muscle. If you strengthen it and work it out, it becomes stronger. If you let it sit there and wallow in self-pity, it never grows.

    I stopped focusing on the worst-case scenario, and do you know what happened? We didn’t break up. He signed for an apartment us, and I got a job within a week of his departure. I know things won’t always work out how I want them to just because I think positively, but I now believe I will be okay no matter what happens, and that’s making a huge difference.

    The same can be true for you.

    You may face unexpected challenges. We all do. Changing your mindset won’t guarantee that everything will be okay. But it will give you the insight and strength to believe that you will be okay and that you can handle what life dishes up. And it will also help you create a life that feels more fulfilling and less empty.

    The first step in any change is recognition. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Start to notice that you have a negative pattern of thinking that keeps you stuck. I’m guessing you will probably be amazed at how much and how often your mind wanders toward the negative.

    From there, start practicing mindfulness, which basically means you are aware of what you’re thinking, but you don’t get caught up in your thoughts. See if you can separate the negative thoughts from your being. Anyone who has studied meditation will tell you that you can use a technique to distance yourself from your thoughts. Try to place them in a balloon and watch them fly away.

    You are not your thoughts and feelings. You experience thoughts and feelings, but they don’t need to own you. I know this isn’t easy, but it is doable.

    Personally, my mind always sees deficit instead of abundance. Whether this came from years of sexual abuse or family upbringing or genetic coding, I’m not sure, and at this point I don’t really care why. What matters is that I want to change it because it has become exhausting to always be so unsatisfied.

    How Do You Effect All This Change?

    Tony Robbins says that change can happen in an instant, but I think that statement needs a little tweaking. I think the ability to change can happen in an instant. When you decide you want more or you deserve better or you become sick and tired of being sick and tired, then you have now opened the door to change.

    One way to start creating change is to change the words you use to describe how you’re feeling. Our language affects our emotions, and our emotions influence our choices. Tony Robbins offers a 10-Day Challenge that can help with this.

    I love this challenge because it forces you to take a hard, deep look at how you speak to yourself and how you treat yourself daily and even hourly.

    Next, try to cultivate more happiness in your life a little bit at a time. Research has shown that happiness is, in fact, a choice, and although you may have a certain “set point” of happiness, you do have the ability to make yourself happier by doing things like:

    Start meditating.

    Everyone must be spouting the benefits of meditation for a reason, right? Well, studies have shown that meditation can improve our health mentally and physically by reducing stress.

    You don’t have to turn into Buddha and sit under a tree for hours, but even five to ten minutes per day will give you a few moments of insightful reflection and peace. If you’re like me and have a wandering mind, start out with guided meditation because they’ll keep you more focused.

    A few of my favorites are The Honest Guys and Jason Stephenson.

    Begin a gratitude journal.

    Studies have shown that writing down three specific things you are grateful for every day for just twenty-one days will increase your happiness. Tiny Buddha has a great gratitude journal to get you started.

    Volunteer or find a way to help someone.

    Volunteering connects us to other people, and it can give us a sense of purpose. It can also be fun and enjoyable, if you choose something based on your interests, like working with kids in the arts or baking birthday cakes for underprivileged youth. Maybe you love animals but can’t afford one or aren’t home enough to take care of one, but you can take some time to volunteer at an animal shelter and help them find a furever home!

    You can likely find something that interests you at VolunteerMatch.org.

    Get out there and exercise.

    I love endorphins! If you’re type A and have a lot of energy, then the more energy you expend during exercise the happier you’ll be. If you hate the gym (like me), find something you enjoy doing whether it’s walking in the woods, doing yoga in the privacy of your own home, or joining a kayaking team. The options are endless.

    What about becoming a bad-ass by learning Krav Maga or starting martial arts? I mean, who doesn’t want to be as Zen as Bruce Lee?

    Figure out what you’re good at and start doing it.

    We all have strengths, and we feel a lot more fulfilled when we use them instead of sitting around, focusing on our weaknesses. If you’re not sure what your strengths are, take the character strengths survey here.

    Create a social support network.

    They say that people who have at least five strong social connections are the happiest. Many of us feel so lost and alone because we have Facebook connections, but no real or genuine face-to-face interactions with friends on a regular basis. If you’re an introvert it will be hard and you’ll have to work at it, but the reward will be worth it. Meetup is a great place to start.

    Write or scrapbook or create something.

    Being creative opens your mind to new experiences and new possibilities. Color in an adult color book, start a blog, knit, crochet, sculpt or paint, write a children’s book, or journal every night. Medium.com will allow you to publish your writing without starting a formal blog. Get your mind engaged in anything other than thinking!

    —

    Don’t try to do everything at once or you’ll likely become overwhelmed and feel like you’re failing. Pick one thing and do it for a week or ten days, then maybe add another and so on. Every little thing you add will build up like pebbles of sand on the beach, and over time you will have created something beautiful.

    We live in a society that wants immediate gratification, and when we don’t get it we tend to give up and move onto something else and blame the activity for not making us happy. Give it some time, be kind to yourself, take it a step at a time, and slowly you will see progress.

    If you struggle with something you’ve decided to start, shift your focus to one of the other ideas instead of being hard on yourself.

    Example: I signed up for a self-defense class to see if I wanted to join. Of course, I cancelled it before going. I told myself I wasn’t sure if I could afford it right now and I should wait. In part this is true, but in part I dreaded going to the class. However, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’ll try some other things right now and then I’ll put myself back out there and try again.

    For now, I re-started meditation, which allows me a few moments to reflect and set new intentions. I’ve also started writing more, which provides a creative outlet and gives me a sense of accomplishment.

    Beyond that, I’m keeping a gratitude journal and started a new exercise program. The gratitude journal is great for helping you focus on the positive rather than the negative, and exercise is a general stress reliever. I’m taking baby steps, and when I’m ready I’ll try something more social. It’s okay to go at your own pace.

    Regardless of what you choose, the point is to live more in the world and less in your head. Just try it.

    I promise there won’t be a day where you say, “Jeez, I wish I didn’t exercise” or “I wish I didn’t go for a walk” or “Helping someone really sucked.” But I guarantee if you don’t do anything you will regret it, and you will wake up one day wondering where your life went and how you got to the place you are. And that, my friend, is not what you want.

    On this day you can choose life. You can choose a new path and things can change.

  • When You’re Restless Because Every Day Feels the Same

    When You’re Restless Because Every Day Feels the Same

    Bored Man

    “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    Years ago I found my self at a low point. It wasn’t a big, life-changing event that got me there; just a sudden realization that life sucked. Every day of that horrible summer, this question nagged at me: “Is this as good as it gets?”

    My sons were very young then and always happy, a joy to be around. My marriage was healthy and my husband was doing great. The problem was me—my pain body had attached itself to this feeling of “Is this all there is?”

    I spent many hours on my couch trying not to look like I was in this funk in front of my boys so they wouldn’t feel any negativity.

    I plodded along with everyday things, such as driving them to friends’ houses and joining my friends for lunch, but I lived with this underlying resentment that was consuming me, swallowing me up like a dark cloud.

    It felt like I had reached a point in life where I knew it all (of course, I hadn’t even scratched the surface), and I’d figured everything out, and now what? 

    I would get up every morning and go through my routine, part of which involved making my bed.

    When I was feeling this way and I was lost in my own perception of things, I would look at our bed as I put it together and have a sense of ugh! Here I am, making this bed again to have the same predictable day only to get into it again tonight and start all over tomorrow.

    WHAT’S IT ALL FOR?  

    This question nagged at me as I made sure the pillows lined up and ran my hands over the duvet to smooth it to non-wrinkled perfection. Yuk! What did it matter? Why did I care? Was this it? Would I just stay on my little path with these little details until I die?

    I couldn’t find my way back to happiness. I was stuck. Thankfully, the Universe and my free will started to show me another side.

    A friend opened my eyes to a different perspective and I started to re-think all of my negative thoughts. She helped me see everything around me with new eyes instead of taking it all for granted.

    I felt an opening of my soul and realized that there was so much more than I had previously allowed into my life. Just the fact that I was open to receive this better, more positive way of viewing my life made me happier.

    Within weeks I started gardening and got lost in the outdoors and the smell of the Earth.

    I was emerging as a more enlightened soul, lighter, taking on the day and feeling excited to do simple things—things that I had not considered doing for a long time, such as hiking and just sitting in the grass for hours.

    As part of my morning routine, I started meditating in my yard, then doing yoga in the glorious sun. My whole perception of my life turned around and I reveled in each day, so happy to be here in this beautiful place, having this amazing experience.

    Filled with love for my family, myself, and just about everyone and everything, I had transformed. And just like that, I left behind that persistent question, “What’s it all for?”

    Now I knew what it all was for—to experience love, to give it, to receive it, to relate to the Universe and others as part of the sum of everything imaginable.

    My life situation hadn’t changed; I hadn’t moved away or started a new career. I didn’t seek therapy or join any club. I simply changed my perception about my life. I saw things with new eyes and realized how closed off I had become.

    I have never again allowed myself to go to that dark place, as I am still high on life, with all of its simple pleasures and splendor. I walk around this beautiful lake every morning and marvel at nature and how perfect it is. I find ten miracles before breakfast, and I am living a life of joy. 

    I make my bed every morning, and I always make sure to run my hand over the duvet to make it smooth. I line up the pillows and spend a minute so it looks neat. I think about the day and how amazing it is that I can create whatever I choose.

    With a feeling of being blessed, I have deep gratitude for everything in my life. And then I think, “Wow, I’m about to have a great day and then end up back here back in my bed with my husband! How awesome is that?”

    Recognize that your thoughts represent just one possible way to perceive your circumstances. Write down all the great things in your life and decide to throw away any negative, self-limiting thoughts.

    It’s your choice how you see your life, so see it as a beautiful gift and take on each day with love in your heart and a smile on your face.

    Bored man image via Shutterstock

  • 6 Thought-Provoking Realizations to Make You Feel Better About Life

    6 Thought-Provoking Realizations to Make You Feel Better About Life

    “Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

    It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget what makes life so beautiful in the first place. Isn’t that true? I know for me, I end up living life through autopilot, lacking a conscious thought until I snap out of it and remind myself that life is great.

    When I get like this, it’s nice to remind myself of the realizations I’ve come across over the years and stored in my memory bank.

    Every time you forget what you’re living for or feel like life is purposeless, consult this list.

    1. You can’t ever really be bored.

    One of my favorite quotes comes from comedian Louis C.K. If you don’t think you should be reading life quotes from a comedian, wait until you hear his.

    “‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’”

    2. You have the potential to make someone smile.

    You know what’s awesome? You could, if you really tried, make a stranger’s day today. Find a stranger who you’d guess no one has acknowledged in weeks and smile at him or her. Most people live invisibly with hardly an individual glancing at them. Show them you see them and smile. Bonus points if you say hi or strike up a conversation.

    3. You’ve gotten through so many moments where you thought it was going to be all over.

    Especially as a kid, I used to have all these doomsday alarms setting off in my head. If I don’t get this or that, my life is over. I’m going to be miserable forever.

    Of course, as I grew up my mind became more realistic, but how often do we feel like we’re going to be miserable forever? We’ve gotten through pretty much most of them, right?

    We move on and find new things to fear or be worried about.

    4. You have the power to better yourself every day.

    Maybe a few people reading this may think to themselves that this one is obvious, but it really isn’t. I honestly know many people who don’t believe in the idea of people changing and, of course, they “accept” who they are.

    There’s a difference between accepting who you are and striving to become a better person. Isn’t it liberating to know that you’re not stuck with the cards you’ve been given? You’re not stuck at all! Not ever!

    You can work towards becoming your ideal self a little bit at a time.

    5. You from five years ago had nothing on present-you.

    Every time I look back just a few years I have this smile on my face. I look at the socially awkward past-Vincent, the guy just trying to figure life out. Then I say, wow, I was a doofus!

    Guess what? A few years ago when I did the same retrospection I thought the same thing to myself. Every time you look back you sort of cringe and wonder how you were so _______.

    Imagine five years from now. You’re going to change so much (hopefully for the better) and you’ll realize you’ve grown a lot.

    6. You have the potential to learn about anything.

    The Internet is this gigantic resource available to you anytime and it has the potential to teach you just about anything.

    Isn’t that just awesome? I taught myself how to get websites on Google’s first page, how to write words that stick so that people across the world can enjoy and learn, and I also taught myself juggling! All of these, by the way, were within the past year.

    When was the last time you thought to yourself, “I wish I knew about _____”?  What’s your excuse? You have access to the Internet. After all, you are reading this.

    Sometimes life may seem hard, unfair, or chaotic, but you must remind yourself of how beautiful the world really is. Try to remember the little things that many people forget somewhere along the way.

  • How to Renew Your Relationship Instead of Getting Bored

    How to Renew Your Relationship Instead of Getting Bored

    Happy Couple

    “Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.” ~Unknown

    We can grow comfortable in our romantic relationships.

    In the first six months to a year, it’s all excitement and an adrenaline rush at the mere fantasy of skin touching, but after two years you really do have to work to keep the romance.

    Life can get a little routine and formulaic. You do certain things on certain nights of the week, together or apart. The love is still there, but the accelerated heart rate, weak-at-knees sensation, and feeling that your heart might explode with passion have noticeably decreased.

    I recently detected this happening in my own relationship, but I’ve decided to treat it as a milestone—a positive marker for the point at which we genuinely started to work to make our relationship work.

    The moment our relationship developed from a clueless hormone-loaded teenager to a fully grown, responsible adult.

    Scientifically speaking, it is supposed to be physically impossible to maintain that first intensity of feeling that is experienced at the beginning of the relationship, and I do agree that it’s not sustainable permanently.

    If we spent our whole lives in that state we would probably find we got very little else done, and almost certainly couldn’t survive for the period of a lifetime before we died from an adrenaline overdose.

    However, there is a difference between a relationship maturing with two individuals growing comfortable with each other, and no longer making the effort to do things that make your partner’s fingers tingle and heart swell.

    Here are a few simple ways to keep that flash of young love in your relationship: (more…)