Tag: bliss

  • Create a Little Bit of Bliss Every Day

    Create a Little Bit of Bliss Every Day

    “Follow your bliss and let the magic of life happen.” ~Janelle Jalbert

    Is there something you always wanted to do as a child, and for whatever reason didn’t do? Is there something that you have wanted to do for years? Perhaps it is something that didn’t seem practical. Maybe you felt you wouldn’t be very good at it or you didn’t have the time or the money.

    You can ignore the urging, submerge it, and choose not to follow through on it. But it will show up again and again, and sometimes in the oddest places. For me it was in the toy aisle at a local department store.

    Here’s what happened.

    My husband and I walked into a popular department store, looking for the toy and game shelves. We wanted a board game we could play with our young grandchildren. I assume there was some kind of bland elevator music playing, but I didn’t notice it until it changed to an upbeat dance tune.

    The beat caught my attention, and my feet, seemingly of their own accord, started to move to the rhythm. A minute later they started to tap dance.

    As a child I wanted to learn to tap dance, but for some reason I never expressed that desire. Perhaps I was afraid of looking big and heavy in a dance costume, or feeling awkward on my feet. Whatever the reason, I never told my mother, I never took lessons.

    The desire to tap dance stayed with me, most times submerged beneath school, friends and family. As a teenager I learned one tap step from a friend, Shuffle Off to Buffalo, and enjoyed shuffling and tapping just for fun.

    That’s as far as I went with it. There was always too much else to do. Besides, what would I do with it even if I learned how to tap dance?

    Fast forward through fifty years and there I was in the toy aisle, tapping and shuffling my feet. My husband, tolerant man that he is, just smiled at me. But my feet surprised me that day.

    I’d love to be the kind of person who can just break out in song and dance and not worry about what other people think of me. I’m not. For me to dance in the aisles of a department store is unusual.

    Add to that the fact that I’m a sixty-four-year-old grandmother with an arthritic knee and ankle. I danced anyway and laughed at myself.

    Back home again I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. My husband sat at the counter reading a magazine. He said something to me and I looked over at him. The words “Take a Chance—Dance” headlined the page I saw in his hand in bold letters.

    Okay, I thought, perhaps my feet and the Universe are telling me something.

    “Bliss is doing that which fulfills you. Action that touches you deeply and fully. Bliss is active. Bliss is…following your dreams, desires, or heart.” ~Angie Karan

    The next day I searched out a how-to tap dance video on my computer. I was delighted to discover a number of them specifically designed for absolute beginners.

    I chose one, set the computer up where I could see it on the dining room table, and learned the first basic steps of tap dancing, shuffling and tapping around my dining room floor in my sandals.

    My inner child was ecstatic. I smiled and laughed, stamped, shuffled, and tapped.

    My husband walked in, no doubt wondering what all the stomping was about. “I’m learning how to tap dance!” I beamed. He smiled, shook his head, and left the room. I kept at it.

    The emotional lift I felt from just those few minutes learning dance steps stayed with me all day. I smiled whenever I thought of it.

    Our bliss may come in small packages. It may look like a subtle urging that has been with you since you were a child.

    It may not be your life purpose, or even life changing. It may simply be something that allows you to express the childlike happiness that is within you. Something that many adults have forgotten is there.

    I have no idea what learning to tap dance is going to do for me, or where it will take me. I do know that it is time for me to allow the desire that has been within me for years to express.

    These longings stay with us for a reason. It is our soul talking to us through the language of our desires.

    Why does my soul want me to tap dance? I don’t know. I do know that it’s fun and good exercise, and that’s enough for now.

    What is your soul telling you? Let’s find out with a simple exercise.

    Gather paper and pen and give yourself a few minutes of quiet time.

    At the top of your paper write, “When I was a child, I loved to…”

    Complete the sentence with a list of the things you loved to do as a child.

    Now write, “When I was a child, I always wanted to…”

    Complete the sentence with the things you wanted to do as a child but didn’t or weren’t able to do.

    How many of these activities are part of your life today?

    If your favorite thing to do as a child was to create models of rockets with plastic blocks, how are you expressing your love of creative construction in your life today?

    What if you always wanted to go horseback riding as a child but only got to go once, and that love of horses is still with you? Could you sign up for horseback riding lessons today?

    Perhaps you tell yourself you don’t have time or money for pursuits that are just for fun. Perhaps you tell yourself that you’ll get to that later. But if not now, then when?

    Life zips by us while we are busy doing, doing, doing. Allow yourself to enjoy the journey. Listen to the urgings you feel inside. Don’t wait for some time in the future when you’ll have more time, money, or more accomplished. Do what you can to live a little bit of your bliss each day.

    Now, if you’ll just excuse me, I have to Shuffle Off to Buffalo.

  • How to Stop Betting Against Yourself: 7 Keys for Personal Freedom

    How to Stop Betting Against Yourself: 7 Keys for Personal Freedom

    “Nothing reduces the odds against you like ignoring them.” ~Robert Brault

    Do you ever wake up feeling like you’re battling yourself?

    What’s worse is waking up in that battle and feeling like you’ve already lost before you’ve even started the day.

    But think about that for a second: isn’t living this way crazy? We think it’s normal to be fighting ourselves. We’re taught we need to grind it out and make something of ourselves to be successful. We’re taught we need to become something.

    And the underlying message is this: who we are right now isn’t good enough.

    We’re starving for acceptance, but see ourselves as flawed, and we end up spending our lives in a quest to prove ourselves to the world and to ourselves.

    The Fallacy of Needing to Earn Your Freedom

    When I was a kid I felt radically wild and free. And I bet you did too. But I also would bet that something changed and you don’t feel as free as you once did.

    As a curious, adventurous lad, I felt like I could do anything, be anything, and create whatever I wanted. My imagination was my only limit.

    But then somewhere along the way I started to hear the voices of my parents, teachers, and adults around me send contrary messages.

    I needed to…

    • Get good grades to prove my intelligence (and my worth).
    • Do what’s right (follow the pages of an old book) and not misbehave to prove my goodness.
    • Conform to socially-approved behavior to show that I was a valuable member of society. (more…)
  • 6 Tips to Find Your Bliss So You Can Follow It

    6 Tips to Find Your Bliss So You Can Follow It

    Searching

    “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

    I’m betting you’ve heard the advice to “follow your bliss.” While I find there to be much value in those words, I submit that this mindset can become a trap.

    It’s not the bliss I have an issue with. It’s the part about following.

    If you are going to follow your bliss, the supposition is that you already know what it is. Maybe you do, and maybe you don’t. Yet.

    When I was in my early twenties, my mother invited me to join her for an evening yoga class she was taking to be followed by dinner. Yoga wasn’t as popular then as it is now so it was something of a mystery to me.

    I imagined a half hour of simple stretching. To be honest, I was more interested in the free dinner than I was in “exercise,” but mom had just started a 6-week yoga intensive class and was very enthusiastic about it. Wanting to be supportive, I accepted her invitation.

    I met her at the yoga studio, thinking easy stretches would be a good way to work up an appetite, and then off to dinner we would go. We removed our shoes, and I padded after my mom as she handed me a mat and showed me where to spread it out on the floor, next to hers.

    The teacher was a pleasant young woman who smiled warmly as she welcomed us and lowered the lights, suggesting we sit quietly and relax. As the last few students straggled in, she walked over to the close the door and invited us to “just let go of the cares of the day for the next two hours.”

    Holy Toledo! Two hours! Two HOURS? I hated P.E.—I’d never done any physical activity for two hours. This would never do. Two hours? I panicked.

    How to escape? I could excuse myself to the bathroom and wait it out there. Maybe I could feign a stomachache and take a taxi home. I was freaking out inside.

    The teacher’s smiling eyes met mine, and I fake-smiled back. Panic turned into paralysis. I froze. It took every ounce of willpower (and a fair amount of respect and love for my mother) to keep me from bolting out that door. I swallowed my panic and got ready to endure the torture. (more…)

  • A Few Less Steps to Bliss

    A Few Less Steps to Bliss

    “Don’t use a lot where a little will do.” ~Proverb

    My fears around becoming a mother for the first time were validated. Giving birth did hurt, though in an empowering, “hear me roar” kind of way.

    There is stiff competition now for my husband’s attention, but mine is captivated as well. And our spontaneous, hedonistic, freewheeling lifestyle is permanently cramped—but into this cozy fetal position of child-friendly rhythm and routine.

    Though we have been pacified into a relatively mundane existence, my morphing into a mama bear that’s hell bent on protecting her cubs from excess has helped keep things spicy. Excess in the form of stuff, noise, and activities that attempt to encroach on our home and our time to connect, distancing us from our core values.

    There is a therapeutic benefit to this extreme nesting to the kids and adults in our family alike.  My kids are imaginative, calm, and pleasant to hang out with, and I find myself with more energy, creativity, and overall bliss than I have ever experienced before.

    With this keen selectivity of what is enough, we gift our minds and hearts the room to expand, explore, then retreat again for restorative contemplation and rest.

    Less leads us closer to more bliss and here are just three ways to get there:

    Step One: Less Stuff

    Take for instance the visual pollution surrounding us. Coming into a space that is clear of clutter can release us from the immediate but subtle sense of anxiety we feel due to the responsibility of ownership—the need to repair, organize, share, and account for.

    With kids in the house, we’ve found it necessary to do a seasonal or at least twice yearly purge of items that no longer serve us. Since we have limited storage space, we need to clear out the many quickly outgrown clothes, toys, and the occasional toddler toilet paraphernalia. (more…)

  • 3 Simple Ways to Follow Your Bliss

    3 Simple Ways to Follow Your Bliss

    “Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”  ~Joseph Campbell

    Several years ago, I learned about a month-long silent retreat designed to incorporate extended periods of meditation, three-times-daily hatha yoga sessions, and in-depth self-inquiry practices. The moment I heard about it, my heart literally jumped out of my chest and I knew I had to be there.

    Yet, while my heart was gunning for it, I could not get my head around how to find the money for the airfare, accommodations, and registration fees. All told, the total was going to be close to three thousand dollars, something I did not have.

    Undeterred, I came to the conclusion, via my heart that I did not need to get my head around anything. If I was meant to be there, then the universe would take care of the details no matter how daunting the financial cost.

    In support of my belief, I made flight and accommodation reservations, shared my intention with several of my close friends, and trusted the universe to align everything in support of my goal. Sure enough, just four weeks before the start of the retreat, I received an unexpected call from my neighbor.

    Liz was a casting agent, searching for extras to audition for the movie My Father the Hero, which was being shot on Paradise Island. She asked, “Are you available? I am having difficulty finding people and I think you would be a perfect fit.”

    I jumped at the opportunity. She cautioned me that the shoot I would be involved in was a boat scene, probably only lasting a day, maybe two. However, on the day we started filming, on driving out to the harbor, the weather took a dramatic turn.

    High winds began whipping around the boat, affecting the ability of the professional stuntman to execute water skiing tricks. Then a power boat, meant to be driven alongside ours and intended to be a highlight of the scene, crashed into the bridge, requiring it to be sent to dry dock for repair.

    Added to that, several days passed with intermittent sunshine and long periods of cloud cover and rain.

    With these events and subsequent delays, the one or two day filming time turned into a week, then two, until three and a half weeks later we finally wrapped the scene, just hours ahead of the start of the retreat.

    Picking up my paycheck I was in awe. Calculating a rapid mental note of all the outgoings necessary, I realized my earnings covered the flight and retreat costs down to the last cent. In fact there was an additional $15 left over, which I realized would cover the Bahamas Government departure tax. (more…)

  • Build Yourself an Army for Happiness

    Build Yourself an Army for Happiness

    “Count your joys instead of your woes. Count your friends instead of your foes.” ~Irish Proverb

    I’ve always believed that happiness is a choice. I thought that I was the only one who could truly make me happy.

    That was before my life disintegrated before my very own eyes.

    My husband and I built a business together. For four years we poured blood, sweat, and tears into it. We lived and breathed it. Before we knew it, and a lot sooner than you would probably imagine, it had consumed us.

    I felt like it had eaten me alive. I was no longer living my own life. Every ounce of energy was absorbed by work.

    Then, very suddenly, four months ago, it all fell apart. Our business went bankrupt, and we were left with nothing. No jobs, no money, and a colossal amount of debt, fear, and sadness.

    The days, weeks, and months that followed were a dark and difficult journey–a journey that made us look back and learn from our mistakes, take responsibility for our lives, and try to find something positive to look forward to.

    Now I look back at that journey as a blessing. It’s still early days, and there can be low points in the day, but on the whole I have come to realize that every stumbling block is in fact a stepping stone.

    This experience has made me delve deeper than ever before. I’ve found strength and courage that I didn’t know existed in me. But one of the greatest things to have come out of this whole situation has been my attitude to happiness.

    When life throws something difficult at you, even the most optimistic person can struggle to find the positive. I’ve always been the one to find the silver lining, and focus on the good stuff, but somehow, this time, it wasn’t that easy.

    And so, day by day, I began to build myself a happiness army. (more…)

  • Finding the Keys to Your Happiness

    Finding the Keys to Your Happiness

    “Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.” ~Lori Deschene

    Over the years, I have had my fair share of trials, many having to do with being bipolar and having OCD and ADD.

    These illnesses combined have made for a rough go. One day I might feel spontaneous and want to take a trip to Disney World, the next day I may want to end it all.

    Going back and forth with happiness and despair is an emotionally draining process. Knowing that it’s all in my mind is the most frustrating thing to deal with.

    It’s hard to describe an emotional illness that takes you up and down to those individuals who might not understand, but keeping your perspective in tune is the best solution. When I read Lori’s blog on focusing on making moments count, I knew I needed to write something in response.

    So I want to share with you how I find my keys to happiness because we all know keys go missing from time to time.

    1. Don’t get caught up with the negatives of the world.

    When you are driving to work in a traffic jam, instead of slamming your hands on the dashboard, put on your favorite tune. Let it take you back to the moment when you first heard it.

    2. Stuff happens.

    Don’t let the stuff determine how your day is going to be.  (more…)

  • How to Create Joy Today: 7 Tips for a Happy Life

    How to Create Joy Today: 7 Tips for a Happy Life

    “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

    I have recently come face to face with mortality—not my own, my friend’s. At only thirty-seven, Daniel left behind an army of people whose lives he had touched in some way, including my own.

    At thirty-three I have just qualified as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. At the time Daniel passed away I was working as a human resources manager, a profession I had originally trained in and remained in for over ten years.

    A number of factors and events led me to make the leap and set up my own practice as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, but the overriding reason was simply to follow my dreams.

    Many of my friends told me how inspiring I was to them, others told me I was brave, and the rest gave me a look of awe that suggested I was crazy.   

    Words of well-meaning advice were spoken.

    “Why don’t you work part time while you get the business underway?”

    “It’s going to take time for you to get regular clients you know; they won’t come overnight.”

    “You can always go back to human resources if it doesn’t work.”

    All of this came from my nearest and dearest friends and family! I didn’t listen to any of them because I knew from the depths of my soul that this was the right thing to do, and I knew their words were only echoes of their own fears about life and striking out, not my own.

    Every day we are faced with stories that remind us of our own mortality as human beings, but when you lose someone you love with all your heart, it changes something deep within you. (more…)

  • Why the Grass is Never Greener and How to Be Happy Today

    Why the Grass is Never Greener and How to Be Happy Today

    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

    Lifestyle. Opportunities. Wealth. Just think how far we’ve come in the past 100 years—especially when you look at what we have today compared with our great grandmothers’ generation.

    My great grandmother married very young, lived in the same place her whole life, and had 11 children. She never had a “career” and never got a chance to go on a vacation. Her life was hard, poor, and lacking in any real opportunity.

    I wonder if she ever dreamed about moving to another city, or transforming her life, or about seeing the world with just a backpack. I bet she did, but back then there weren’t as many opportunities as we have today.

    Thanks to technology, the Internet, and an improved society, our lifestyles are completely transformed. We have choices. We can live pretty much anywhere we want. We can travel and see the world.

    We can secure jobs on the other side of the planet. We can start our own businesses and serve clients thousands of miles away. It’s definitely an exciting time.

    But when there is a wealth of opportunities, choices, and places where we could choose to live, you’d think we’d all be happy, right? Wrong.

    You see, the problem with having choices is that we become restless. We can’t settle on what we already have or be satisfied with what we’ve got because we’ll always be wondering about the next big thing.

    It’s called “the grass is always greener” syndrome. We think someone else is having a better time elsewhere. We make ourselves miserable by constantly thinking about the unknown in an endless quest to find happiness. (more…)

  • 4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

    4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

    “Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

    “Big flud strikes Revere!”

    That was the headline of the newspaper I made with my sister when I was six. I hadn’t yet honed my skills as an editor, but I knew a good fake story when I heard it.

    Eight years later, while wading through my anger toward several people who’d hurt me, I wrote a short book called The Line of the Virtues about the grey area between good and bad. An older coworker at my afterschool job asked, “Are all kids this deep these days?”

    Somewhere between six and fourteen, I’d found my calling: I was a writer who liked to tackle weighty topics. Though I took a lot of detours between realizing that and pursuing writing as a career, ultimately, it brought me to Tiny Buddha—my sweet spot for personal and professional fulfillment.

    Looking back, I realize I took those detours solely because I was scared. I thought writing was one of those careers that only a few people get to do. I figured it was better not to try than to try and fail, because then I could pretend I wasn’t writing by choice.

    I remember the first time I realized I was hiding from my passion. I was twenty-six years old, and part of a marketing team that was walking across the country to promote a number of fitness products.

    A coworker and I got into a ridiculous fight over the meaning of a word. She’d formerly worked as a comedy writer for radio shows—and, for the record, she was right about the meaning. Defending her stance, she shouted, “Don’t you think I’d know? I’m a writer!”

    I responded, “Me too!”

    Then she argued, “Not really!” Further drilling the point home, she continued, “Just wait ‘til you move to San Francisco and call yourself a writer there. Your MySpace blogs just aren’t going to cut it!”

    Since I’d held nothing back from Tom, this hurt—until later when I realized she’d given me a gift. She’d smothered me with the truth, and I had no choice but to acknowledge she was right yet again.

    I got a writing job the second day after I arrived in San Francisco. I was writing about senior care, a topic that interested me about as much as the mating habits of ants. But it was a decision to step onto a new path, knowing full well that, at that point, I had no idea where I was going.

    This is true for all of us whenever we start doing something new. There are never any guarantees about where it will lead, and that can be a scary thing, particularly if your current situation allows you to comfortably meet your responsibilities.

    There simply isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula for discovering what you’re passionate about and then transitioning to a new career. That being said, I’ve learned a few things about doing what you love for work—and I’ve learned that a lot of what I previously believed simply is not true. (more…)

  • The Beginner’s Guide to Simple Daily Happiness

    The Beginner’s Guide to Simple Daily Happiness

    Happy Dance

    “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”~Dalai Lama

    Some days I wake up with rocket fuel in my veins, ready to take the day by storm. Happiness comes totally natural. But on others it can feel like I have lead weights strapped to my shoes.

    Have you ever been there?

    We all have.

    Happiness is a practice. It’s on us to learn it.

    While some days are easier to find a smile than others, happiness is a daily choice. It’s a mindset we can nurture and train. That doesn’t mean it’s there every second, but when you notice it’s missing, often the tiniest shift can put you right back on top of the world.

    Life will constantly test your ability to make a lemon martini out of the sourest of lemons. So be ready. Here’s your guide.

    I know that some of the below sound pretty common sense. Unfortunately common sense is not always common practice. This stuff works. (more…)

  • Create Your Own Happiness: Make Feeling Good Your New Religion

    Create Your Own Happiness: Make Feeling Good Your New Religion

    Feeling Good

    “If you’re happy, if you’re feeling good, then nothing else matters.” ~Robin Wright

    I have this morning ritual: I sit in my living room and write down all the things I love about my life.  It’s not really that elaborate. My list is usually quite simple.

    This morning I wrote about how much I love my new accountant, how grateful I was that the sun came out today, how good it felt to be sore from the yoga class the day before, and how much I enjoy watching my dog play with her toy.

    I do this because I know that what you focus on grows, so why not focus on growing the parts of life that I love?

    I once had a teacher who would always tell me, when faced with a decision, “choose life.” I took this to mean: make the decision in the direction of expansion, creativity, joy—life.

    In my morning ritual, after writing everything I love about my life, after I’ve gotten into a juicy state of appreciation, I then direct the energy forward by writing what I want in my life.

    It might be limited traffic if I’m going to be on the road that day, or gaining clarity on something I need an answer to. Or it might be inspiration for a project I’m working on or money flowing to pay my taxes.

    Or it might be something more universal—I want the Haitians to have shelter and a roof covering their heads before the monsoon.

    We are so conditioned to be at the effect of our lives that we often forget the power we wield to be the cause. Sometimes the simple act of stating what we want begins the process of creating that end. This is why making a decision is so powerful. (more…)