Tag: blessed
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It Could Always Be Worse: The Power of Gratitude and Perspective
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius
So, yesterday wasn’t the best day. I backed up into my husband’s car in the dark, on my way to a meeting. I didn’t see it in the mirrors. It was dark. (Did I mention that?) Well, it left a healthy size dent in the front, and needless to say, the tension began.
I felt bad. I honestly didn’t see it. Whenever I put my car into reverse, the mirrors automatically adjust and seem to point down, which makes it difficult to see out of them. Then, I have to look on this little screen when I back up, and in the dark, it’s hard to distinguish obstacles in the way. I just can’t get used to it.
So I tried. I put the car in reverse, slowly backed up, and then… crunch. I heard it. Ouch.
Afraid of the destruction I had caused, I reluctantly opened the door, looked back, and assessed the damage. Instantly, I knew he wouldn’t be happy.
I imagined steam pouring out of his ears after I gently broke the news to him.
Throughout the rest of the evening, a giant rift began forming between us. Worries about finding money for the deductible, battling higher insurance rates, and paying for repairs spiraled into distress. We went to bed without speaking, which sent me into a fit of self-pity accompanied by tears of guilt and sorrow.
How much worse can things get? First the septic problems, then the furnace, then the electric problem, now the car. Wow, when it rains, it pours. Why can’t things just be easy for us for once? Is that too much to ask?
Our thoughts are powerful things. They can instantly set off a chain reaction of overflowing, overwhelming emotions.
And then this morning, I learned of a friend—a dear woman, wife, and mother in our community—whose young adult child had just passed away in a car accident.
Rapidly, all my worries about denting the car seemed ridiculous.
Perspective came rushing back to me in a moment’s notice, bringing me back to reality.
I had been there. I had been that mom whose child died. I had made that dreaded phone call, as I lay helpless in our mangled and demolished car.
It has been eight years now since she was flown from the accident scene to the trauma center, and I, transported in an ambulance, was rushed to a local hospital. The last day we had hugged, talked, and touched each other. Sometimes, it seems just like yesterday.
My eyes welled up with tears, as I knew exactly how this newly bereaved mother was feeling. I swallowed that forming lump in my throat as memories of the accident with my children came surging back, bringing me back to that life-altering day.
After a few moments, I caught myself holding my breath as I abruptly stopped in my tracks to say a prayer for her and her family.
To be told your beloved child has died is the worst pain. It’s a paralyzing and debilitating state that leaves you feeling like you are suffocating, making you scream in terror and disbelief.
And this can last for months, even years, as you desperately try to wake up from such a horrifying dream.
My heart is heavy. It’s not fair, this arduous, frightening journey that was forced upon this mother this snowy winter morning.
Today it was her child, tomorrow it will be someone else’s father, mother, brother, sister, son, or daughter.
It knows no discrimination. No one is exempt. Loss. Grief. They will find us at some point in our lives when we least expect it, pulling us into an abyss of heartbreak and despair. And then what?
My point: Among the daily stress, tension, and challenges of life, stop and search for gratitude. What a gift it is to even be alive.
For that car that is broken, give thanks that you have a car to fix.
For that necessary and expensive home repair, give thanks and realize what a gift it is to even have a home.
For that taxing job, give thanks that it pays the bills.
For that exhausting child, give thanks for their strong personality and recall how wonderful it was the day they were born.
Find perspective. Embrace it. Look with eyes of wonder and hope for tomorrow.
Take time to enjoy the rainbow of colors in that sunset; appreciate being able to hear those birds singing or see the wildlife out your window. Smile with joy when you’re able to build that snowman with your child.
Unfortunately, many of us are clouded in our judgment until we experience a rock bottom tragedy. Our daily challenges can be upsetting, but we’re fortunate to not be standing where someone else is standing right now. Someone who is grieving, for they have lost a part of themselves and are struggling with a gaping hole deep in their soul. An unforgettable void that can never be filled, nor replaced.
So try it with me.
Stop what you’re doing. Take a step back and try to imagine walking in someone else’s shoes. Someone you may know who has suffered the loss of a loved one. While you may not understand, acknowledge their loss and the road of profound sorrow they must now travel. It’s not easy.
Inhale deeply, absorb some sunshine, and remember, there are many others who would be incredibly thankful to be where you are today. Despite it all, you are blessed.
Let us all find perspective when facing struggles that are minuscule in the grand scheme of things and recognize the gifts we have been given. Let’s not take this beautiful life for granted.
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How to Stop Taking Things for Granted and Feel Blessed
“I count my blessings every day, quite honestly, because I take nothing for granted.” ~Mario Andretti
You know that feeling.
When you feel bad about yourself for not being grateful enough. Maybe not often, but surely sometimes.
You are busy working hard, trying to make things work. Busy at life.
But then you see a nine-year-old painting a picture holding a brush with his toes. He has no hands.
And it hits you: You’re so busy trying to make your life better, you forget that it is already beautiful. You feel guilty for not being happy enough.
How I Found My Hidden Blessing in Life
When I left for college it was the first time I went away from home to a different city. My parents were concerned about how I would adjust to life in New Delhi. But I was excited. I wanted to do this.
As my college life began, I faced a problem: I was bad at managing my expenses. I had no idea how to spend money reasonably. Until then, my parents took care of everything.
The unspoken message had been, “You focus on your studies, and we’ll take care of your needs.”
Middle class families don’t lack in money, but the expenses are always modest. So when I ran out on my monthly share in ten days, I was horrified. Exploring the city with new friends, eating delicious meals in restaurants, buying a pair of Nike trousers all contributed to my downfall. Expecting a scolding, I told them what had happened.
But there was no scolding, just a reassuring “I’ll put more money in account today.”
A few weeks later, the same thing happened. I was sure this time they would get angry. But they didn’t. They simply poured in more money.
And that is when I realized: My parents truly loved me, but I had been taking it for granted.
They had always been there for me. Taking care of me. Loving me.
I wasn’t a spoiled child, and I knew they cared about me. But now I felt blessed. Their presence was a gift I cherished. The fact that they loved me unconditionally brought my ignorance to light.
Why Do We Take Things for Granted?
Our minds run around unchecked all the time, either waiting for a better future or regretting the past.
We’re always waiting for the perfect vacation, next promotion, more money, more whatever. We think, “Someday when X happens, I’ll be happy.”
Or we regret the past, like the end of a relationship, a lost job, or financial setbacks. We think, “If only X hadn’t happened, my life wouldn’t be a mess.”
But whether in the future or past, there is one place our minds are not.
The present.
And this is where our blessings reside.
How to Stop Taking Things for Granted and Feel Blessed
When I catch a cold, I realize how nice it feels to be healthy. When there are thunderstorms on the day I plan to go out, I realize the joy of a cheery, sunny day with a cool breeze blowing across my face.
Because our minds are so used to running around uncontrollably, we don’t realize that our focus isn’t where we are. It is almost always somewhere else.
But hidden blessings are available right now, if you can take a step back and notice where you are.
Seriously, do this.
Look at yourself reading this post. Notice the environment around you. I’ll give you a moment.
….
This is your real life. Here are the blessings hidden from your incessant mind.
Ask yourself: What good things have brought me where I am today?
You can start with the fact that you can read. You’re smart enough to follow blogs like Tiny Buddha. What about your wonderful friends? Your pet? Your health?
What else?
Just like time, blessings are relative.
Growing up, I went to a school with lots of children who came from rich families. It would have been easy to focus on what other students had that I lacked, such as new lunch boxes and fancy bags.
However, I was nothing close to sad or miserable. In fact, I had fun at school. Why did I have fun, despite having less than others? I recognized how I was fortunate.
My parents grew up in villages and received modest educations. And yet, they were smart enough to understand the importance of a good education, and made sure that my sister and I studied in the best English school of the city.
Now, that is a blessing.
I didn’t feel unlucky. I feel my parents did their part wonderfully.
It’s time I do mine.
Hidden in life challenges are some wonderful blessings. The difference lies in how you look at them.
You can list all the things you don’t have and feel sad about it.
Or you could put those very same things as your goals, chase them with passion, and build tremendous character.
Time to Thank, Time to Love
Yes, there will always be things you want to accomplish. There are goals yet to be realized. The future surely does promise better things.
But you know what?
The present, too, is a portal to hidden gifts.
Underneath your routine life is a hidden treasure trove of countless blessings. Each of those blessings has helped you reach where you are today. They played a crucial role in molding your life into the masterpiece it is right now.
So go right now.
Tell your mother you love her.
Pat you pet.
Thank your friends for showing up.
Celebrate life. Right here. Right now.
Go live.
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The Guru of Caumsett: Simple Yet Profound Lessons from a Kind Stranger
“See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer
It was about a month after my son was born that I was introduced to the man I have come to think of, only somewhat facetiously, as “The Guru of Caumsett.”
My husband and I were at the park with our newborn son when a man I’d never seen before began waving as he strode determinedly—despite a pronounced limp that caused him to drag, ever-so-slightly, one leg behind the other—past us.
“How are you doing?” my husband called, waving back while I smiled and nodded my hello.
“Just great! It’s a beautiful day. You enjoy it!” he encouraged, never stopping completely, but all the while holding my gaze and smiling brightly at us, as if he’d just bumped into long lost friends.
I questioned my husband as to how he knew him, and he explained that he didn’t. But he saw him every time he was at the park, and the man always greeted not only him but everyone he passed on the path the same way.
A month or so later I was back at the park. It was to be another scorching mid-summer day, as was evident by the tightness in my lungs and frizziness of my hair.
But I was determined to run just one full lap around the path before submitting to the heat. It had been many months since I had attempted such a feat. And within only a matter of a few yards, I realized that I had grossly overestimated my body’s readiness for such a challenge.
Not more than eight weeks prior I had been lying in the hospital after enduring twenty-eight hours of arduous labor that culminated in the emergency Cesarean surgery from which I was still recovering. In fact, from which I had only just begun to truly recover.
Sadly, like many women, my birthing experience, although successful in that our precious baby boy was born healthy, ended up being a rather traumatic event for me due to circumstances out of everyone’s control.
As a result, those first few weeks at home were filled with unexpected feelings of inadequacy and, at times, an overwhelming sense of fear that I’d only begun to be able to understand and move through.
Exercise, I was sure, would help shed not only the remaining baby weight, but also some of the anxiety I had so uncharacteristically been carrying. So when my attempt at running was sabotaged by my still ravaged body and the oppressive humidity, I felt nothing short of despair.
The paved path at Caumsett State Park is a three-mile loop. I had made it exactly to the halfway point when I could no longer maintain even the painful shuffle to which my usually fine runner’s stride had devolved.
Winded and with my clothes plastered with sweat to my still swollen body, I conceded. But I still had to walk the additional mile and a half back to my car.
As I leaned into the steep incline of the final hill, I was alarmed by the extent of exhaustion and weakness I felt. I began to wonder if I would ever again feel the same strength and comfort in my body that I had been so used to prior to my pregnancy.
And that’s when I saw him. Just as I was arriving at the top of the hill he was beginning his descent. Without a trace of sweat on his brow—and limp be damned—he moved past me with enviable ease.
With barely enough breath in my lungs to keep me moving, I managed only a small wave and smile. Without missing a beat and with his face beaming, he said, “Good Morning! You’re doing great. You look terrific!”
Despite my sweaty clothes and heavier frame, my labored breathing and negative thoughts, I simply stopped in my tracks and said, “Thank you! You have no idea how much I needed that.”
In the West, the word guru is most simply and often defined as “teacher.” However, when the word is broken into two syllables, its deeper meaning can be better understood.
Gu denotes a spiritual ignorance or a state of darkness that so many of us experience and unfortunately, dwell within. Ru represents the light of spiritual knowledge that dispels the spiritual ignorance.
In short, a guru is one who dispels the darkness of spiritual ignorance and lights the way toward spiritual knowledge.
So you see, with only a few kind words and his genuine goodwill, my guru of Caumsett managed to illuminate for me a new way of thinking and experiencing the situation in which I had found myself.
I quickly went from feeling frustrated and defeated to being able to recognize all I had so recently been through, and I became excited, proud even, of how well I was doing only a short eight weeks later. He shone his light into my darkness for no other reason except because he could.
For the most part, I’m sure he is just a regular guy. But to me and everyone else who is lucky enough to meet him along their way, he is a personification and great reminder of some of life’s most simple yet profound lessons.
Smile at each other. Offer some kind words and a genuine caring for those around you. Build people up instead of knocking them down.
Work to see your perceived obstacles instead as opportunities. And let nothing stand in your way of realizing just how blessed you truly are.
Smiling Buddha image via Shutterstock
