Tag: adventures

  • How to Enjoy Life Without Buying Lots of Stuff

    How to Enjoy Life Without Buying Lots of Stuff

    “Minimalism isn’t about removing the things you love. It’s about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.” ~Joshua Becker

    Over the recent few years of being a digital nomad, I got a chance to live in Spain, Sri Lanka, Mexico, and Canada for a month or longer. As I didn’t have a home base and only had one medium-sized suitcase with me (still do), I couldn’t really afford to buy new things.

    I mean, I would need to put them somewhere, and my suitcase is already over forty-five pounds while most airlines only allow up to fifty.

    Even when I had to go back to my home country and stay there for almost a year because of the pandemic, I knew I’d be on the road again as soon as possible. So I continued to not buy anything other than essential things.

    I was never a shopaholic before, but I still felt miserable wearing the same few-year-old clothes and watching my friends (not even mentioning social media influencers I follow) regularly enjoy new things.

    I didn’t realize that more often than not we only buy things to fill a void or to relieve stress, not necessarily because we actually need or even want them. As soon as I figured that out, I started looking for alternative ways to fill my days with joy that didn’t involve buying new stuff.

    Today I want to share four things that I’m buying now when I want to feel better, which don’t occupy any space in my suitcase!

    1. Online courses

    Maybe it’s just me, but courses that teach me new skills are my favorite things ever! Even my husband knows that giving me a course as a gift will always make me happy.

    I have a ton of hobbies and things that I’m interested in, and each of them could become a full-time thing if I wanted it to. So there is no lack of information to keep learning.

    For example, last year I was into photography and took a bunch of courses on the subject. I learned mobile photography, then normal photography, and even some videography. I studied lots of related things including photo and video editing and even dipped my toes into stock photography.

    This year I’m learning digital illustration. YouTube and Skillshare are my two best friends right now and would probably be the most visited websites in my free time if I were to track my web activity. It just makes me so happy to ace a new thing I couldn’t imagine creating before!

    Honestly, I could never understand people who get bored staying alone at home and don’t know what to do. I wish I had another twenty-four hours in my day just to fit in all the things I want to learn!

    Besides, investing in yourself is never a bad idea. You never know where your new skills might appear useful on your life journey.

    2. Experiences

    You might say that it’s easy to find new experiences when you are traveling, and that’s true. I often go on walking tours, participate in cooking classes, and find other interesting things that my next country has to offer.

    But if you think I didn’t invest in experiences when I wasn’t a nomad, you are wrong.

    My favorite kind was always visiting an escape room. If you aren’t familiar with the concept, it’s a quest where you go into a room full of hints and puzzles, solving which leads you to the next one, and so on until the final thing gives you a key or something to escape the room. Usually, there is a specific theme for the room, you have one hour to escape, and there can be more than one actual room involved.

    Over the years, with my friends and coworkers, I went to almost every room that existed in my city at the time (which is a lot). Some were very easy; some were so hard that we didn’t get out on time. I remember the one which was absolutely dark and another one where they put chains around your ankles and wrists at the beginning, which you have to get out of.

    The feeling of nailing another quest room can hardly compare to anything else; it’s like actually being in an adventurous book for an hour. If you happen to be a nerd and avid reader like me, you know what I mean.

    Meaningful experiences strengthen your relationships and create memories for years to come. Do you remember every shirt you buy or reminisce about it with friends? I doubt that!

    3. Little gifts for friends

    This one is a bit of a cheat, as you might actually get to buy a physical thing.

    But, instead of it piling up in your closet, you give it away and feel good about it. Your friend is happy, you are happy, and your home doesn’t get cluttered. Not bad, huh?

    Just make sure to only buy things your loved ones actually want so they don’t start hating you for cluttering their home. Especially if your friend happens to be a minimalist.

    Wanna know my approach to always giving really good gifts? I swear by wishlists!

    I have had one for many years, and I made each of my friends and family members make one. Not everyone likes the idea at first, but I promise you, everyone loves getting specific things they want as presents! And don’t worry, it can still be a surprise, especially if their wishlist is long enough.

    To support the idea of having less stuff, encourage your friends to add items to their wishlists that aren’t physical things. About two-thirds of my own wishlist consists of specific online courses I’d love to take, new experiences I wish to try one day, and gift cards for fun things like massages and yoga classes.

    When it comes to hobbies and lifestyle choices, people usually know exactly what they want, and you can never go wrong with a wishlist. Without it, unless you know for sure all the details, it’s easy to gift someone a book they already have or a course that is too beginner-oriented (or too advanced) for their level. If you have doubts, better buy them a gift card to their favorite store or learning platform, so they can choose a specific item themselves.

    If you think you need to wait for a holiday or a birthday to give someone a gift, think again!

    The best presents are unexpected ones. Try surprising your friend with something they want for no particular reason, and just see how excited they get! They will feel loved and valued, which is something we can all benefit from.

    And as for you, the process of finding a perfect gift and seeing your friend genuinely enjoying it releases dopamine and endorphins, which basically make you feel happier. Win-win!

    4. eBooks

    The last thing on the list of things I still buy is eBooks.

    I am the person who used to read 100+ books per year and had a full bookcase at home. Now I travel with my tiny Kindle and am more mindful about what I’m reading.

    With that said, I still love the smell of real books and the feeling of actually turning pages! I still have a few of my favorite bookmarks. But I only buy digital books as it would be impossible to travel with “real” ones. I wish I had Hermione’s handbag with an extension charm on it, but sadly I don’t.

    I know many people these days don’t read books. With so many kinds of easily digestible visual content options we have online now, books became something of an old era. However, the process of reading still has a ton of health benefits: from improving your concentration skills and vocabulary to releasing stress and anxiety that is a constant problem in most of our lives.

    Nothing else can take your mind off your routines and worries quite as an interesting book can. It may only weigh a few kilobytes, but it has a whole world inside.

    These were my four things to buy that won’t ever clutter your life! They might, however, make a big impact on your self-development, make you smarter, improve your skills and mental health, and make you happier. Not a bad deal, is it? Especially for things that don’t take up any space.

    I hope you can agree with me now that it’s possible to live happily without buying new stuff all the time. I am not exactly a minimalist, but I like the idea of surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy instead of cluttering your life with things that only bring you instant gratification and then get forgotten.

    Try to fill your days with fun experiences and learning new skills, as your memories and abilities are things you can always take with you, wherever you go.

  • The More You Do, The More Opportunities Open to You

    The More You Do, The More Opportunities Open to You

    “We’re here for such a short period of time. Live like you’re already dead, man. Have a good time. Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you.” ~Jeff Bridges

    Yesterday, a Chinese exchange student we hosted two years ago texted to let me know her mother would like to invite my family to visit them in Nanjing—and she would pay for our plane tickets and let us stay at their vacation home.

    Of course I told everyone I know (I mean, China! C’mon!) and they all said, “You’re so lucky!” And it’s true, we are lucky.

    However, there’s more to our luck than, well, luck. Receiving amazing opportunities is a function not of waiting around and wishing for good things to happen, but of going out and living life to the fullest so good things can’t help but come to you.

    The China trip is one example: Since 1997 we’ve hosted fourteen exchange students for periods of time lasting from one month to the whole school year.

    Our friends and relatives have always thought we were nuts to take on the inconvenience and expense. (No, you don’t get reimbursed for hosting.) But we consider hosting foreign exchange students to be part of our civic duty, a lot of fun, and a good learning opportunity for our now seven-year-old son.

    Our kid has lived with students who hail from all over the globe—from South Korea to Ukraine to France—since he was one month old.

    So is this free trip luck, or a natural outcome of hosting fourteen foreign teenagers over the years?

    Another example: We entertain a lot, including holding weekly board game nights for ten to twelve gamers in our home. We’ve gone to great efforts to host these game nights—including managing a Meetup Group, supplying drinks, juggling our son’s bedtime routine on game night, and even having our garage converted into a board game room.

    We’ve become good friends with one family we met through this group, and for my birthday last week they offered to pay for tango lessons for my husband and me.

    Tango! I would never have thought of learning tango if we had not met these people and if they had not offered to get us lessons. Even though we expected nothing from our game group but some fun gaming, we have a new opportunity to do something fun and exciting that will stretch our limits—in a good way.

    I started thinking about this more and more, and the concept holds: The more you do, the more opportunities open to you.

    “Do More WHAT?”

    Doing more means different things to different people, but at its core it’s about stretching, learning, expanding, and experiencing new things.

    For some, that might mean helping at the soup kitchen or learning a new language, while for others it might mean starting a meditation practice or forming a book club. It doesn’t matter, as long as what you do is one or more of the following (the more the better!):

    • A learning experience
    • Something you’re passionate about
    • Mind-expanding
    • Helpful to others
    • Exciting
    • Requiring effort on your part
    • Scary

    Traveling, training for an athletic event, learning a new skill, volunteering, joining a new team at work, entertaining, writing, creating, launching…it’s all fair game. Just don’t fall into the trap of simply ramping up the intensity or frequency of the same-old-same-old if it’s not what lights your fire; try something new.

    “How Does It Work?”

    I can’t say for sure, but I can theorize. My feeling is that when you make an effort to try new things and expand your life experience, the universe—or heck, even your friends—see that you’re open and ready for more awesome opportunities, and they rush to make those opportunities happen.

    After all, who would you invite to join you at a class at the local clown college, or to co-launch a business—the friend who’s ready for anything, who you’ve seen taking part in all kinds of events, competitions, and activities? Or the friend who shrinks from new experiences and who sticks to the same routine year in and year out?

    “This All Sounds Expensive.”

    It can be if you want it to, but it doesn’t have to be. Volunteering is free. You can start a new business or volunteer organization with a WordPress website for nothing. Starting a book club, dinner group, or running group on Meetup.com costs only about $13 per month, and you can charge dues to make up for it. Training for a 5k or fitness competition for free.

    These (and many other activities) will create bonding experiences, memories, and opportunities to do even more—all without breaking the bank.

    “But Wait…Isn’t This the Opposite of Non-Attachment?”

    As a reader of this blog, you’re probably interested in concepts like being present and accepting what is. If you’re making efforts to experience more, create more, and do more, doesn’t that mean you’re grasping, attaching, obsessing about the future, and generally not being satisfied with your current self?

    It could mean that, but there’s a way to experience more and create new opportunities without falling prey to attaching: Go after everything you’ve ever wanted to experience and create—but enjoy the journey while you do it and try not to attach to the outcome.

    Work to improve your PR for that weightlifting competition, but don’t freak out over how you’ll perform at crunch-time. Write that book, but expect and accept rejection.

    Even if all your plans go awry, you still have the memories, and the results of your hard work. Write a novel and you have a novel. Pump iron for a competition and you’ll be stronger. It’s the doing that matters, not the results.

    Want to open yourself up to positive, amazing opportunities today? Think of something you’ve always wanted to do—whether it’s taking drum lessons, completing a sprint-distance triathlon, or hosting a gigantic family reunion—and take the first step toward that goal right now, before your “logical” mind steps in and tells you all the reasons it’s not possible.

    Once you do that, please post your experiences in the comments below. Here’s to great experiences!