“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
The other day, while I was getting cash from an ATM, I smiled at an adorable toddler standing with her father at the machine next to me.
She had this huge grin on her face, and she actually waved at me from two feet away, so I couldn’t help but smile in return.
Just then, she pulled on her father’s leg and giggled the words, “Why does everyone like me?”
He responded, “Because you’re a beautiful little girl!”
It was a simple, heartwarming moment, because I could tell from her bashful yet proud expression that she internalized and believed this, as I wish all children could.
I wondered if strangers frequently smiled at her because of her cheery cherubic face, leading her to conclude that everyone likes her.
And I hoped she’d hold onto that simple conclusion forever, so she’d never doubt her inner light, and as a consequence, shine it often.
For many kids, confidence and joy come so easily. They have an innocence about them—a sense of possibility and wonder. They don’t dwell on what happened yesterday. They don’t obsess over what’s coming tomorrow and worry that they can’t handle it.
And they haven’t yet learned to question themselves, not like we do as adults.
I wonder what it would look like to recapture that self-belief and joy. Kids make it look so simple.
Maybe that’s the point. Maybe we could feel that same sense of self-assurance and presence if we stopped burying ourselves under the layers of everything that’s happened, and chose instead to simply be in the moment.
Maybe we could believe in ourselves more fully if we also looked for signs to confirm our worth and beauty; if we chose to recognize people smiling at us, believing in us, confiding in us, depending on us.
Maybe we just need to step in where our parents may or may not have left off, and remind us ourselves as often as possible that we are beautiful—and the best way to show it is to smile.
Photo by antwerpenR
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Beautifully written, Lori!
We all too often forget the power of a smile in not only brightening someone else’s day but also helping that person make a positive shift during their own journey. The smile is the most powerful positive action that we can take that can never be used to harm another human being. When people see someone else smiling, it becomes contagious.
After years of horrible teeth, I went to the orthodontist at 30 years old and finally got braces. Before, I hardly ever smiled and people always thought I was unhappy or mean. As soon as I got the braces on (before my smile was “corrected”), I started smiling so much that my face hurt. In fact, it turns out that, because the muscles used for my smile were never used, the muscles had to get a workout.
I had the braces removed when I was 31 and have been smiling big for 7 years now. Everyone always complements me on my smile and people have a difficult time being “down” around me. In fact, I even sign my emails “Irish smiles,” because my smile is something I love sharing with the world – and the world love receiving.
Thanks so much for your beautiful post. Irish smiles!
What a wonderful and well thought out post. Simple but with a great lesson. Yes, we do, as adults think too much what others think about us.
We let everyone else define our worth by what they do and say to us every day instead of simply believing in our own greatness.
Thanks for that today.
Its impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. Kind of makes you smile dos,nt it?
How fortunate for the little girl to have a father who sees and reflects back his daughter’s light!
Joy does come naturally to children, which is part of the joy of being a parent, if we’re paying attention.
Lori nice post. I think a smile is like a beautiful little gift. Sometimes, while grocery shopping, a baby will gift you with a SMILE, I always feel so special to receive it!
You have said something that really touches me! For years I have smiled with my mouth closed – it’s still a smile but not a full one. I’ve never had work done to improve my teeth and I feel it’s a bit late to do it now. Or maybe I’m just scared. What I loved about your comment was that you started smiling BEFORE your teeth changed. That is so magical and makes me think I could start to open my lips and grin! From today on!
thanks Kate
Beautiful post Lori – really important and how wonderful it would be if everyone could smile more. sometimes I smile at a child and they stare back, or cry! This tends to make me nervous of smiling at them but oh what a joy when a child beams back. The fact that so many don’t makes me wonder if they already don’t feel beautiful and loved? Babies and children who smile and laugh get so much positive feedback – no matter what they look like. from now on I will smile at those who are shy or scared and not mind if they turn their heads away. At least I can give them a smile and hope it makes a little difference. love Kate x
Smiles are contagious ..
When I was 10, I didn’t have many friends, so I when we had a book sale at school I chose ‘How to Be Popular.” It was my first self-help book 😉 I now work as a self-help book editor. Ha! Anyway, the only thing I remember from that book is that it said to smile at people when you see them. Not that it changed my life to the extent that I now have gobs of friends, but the simplicity (and obviousness) of it still resonates. I’ve taken to wearing a smile (and looking people in the eye who pass me) even (especially?) if I’m not feeling that positive, and recently I think it must have become a habit because I’ve noticed people smile at me a lot. Like the little girl, I used to ask myself “Why are people always smiling at me?” and then realized that it was because I was smiling at them. Without even noticing! The next step for me is to actually follow up on the smile with engagement and connection. Ha ha, at 42, still learning these lessons!
Hi Kate. I love to smile at children. I believe it is setting an example for them. And…I receive so much joy when they smile back and wave. It’s not pretentious, it’s genuine. Something we could be so much more than we are.
I love this post! Smiles are contagious and can make someone with the worst day feel so much better. Everyone is going through something and a simple gesture such as smiling will usually turn negative energy into positive.
This made me smile Kate 🙂 I do hope you allow yourself to smile fully from now on — I have yet to see an unattractive smile. I don’t think they exist: Genuine joy is always beautiful.
What a beautiful post Lori. I, too, smile whenever I see little children. There’s just something about them that always brings me joy. I think it’s the innocence you speak of — their sense of wonder and amazement at a world they haven’t yet learned to question or worry about. I miss that.
I especially like what you said about her never doubting her inner light, and as a consequence, shine it often. We all have that light, but as you point out, we learn to question it, or perhaps over think it — worrying how others will react to it. I do, at least, but I’m going to experiment with shedding some of those layers you talk about — allowing myself to be a fresh person every day and not letting experiences from the past or worries about the future weigh me down. How freeing that must be! But so hard to do!
As for smiling, I try to make it a habit to smile at people I encounter each day, but sometimes I start to get discouraged when people don’t smile back. Perhaps I’m too sensitive, but I tend to take it personally, and after a while I stop. I’ll try to pick that habit back up again, because it really can turn a whole day around. I can think of many times when I’ve been really down and depressed, but then a random stranger flashes me a big, genuine smile, and my spirits lifted instantly. I’d like to try and pay it forward. Maybe those people who don’t smile back are having really bad days, too, and just haven’t worked up the energy to smile yet. Maybe my smile will be the one to do it.
Thanks again for a great post. I also enjoyed reading the comments. It’s nice to be part of such a warm and thoughtful community.
Wow.lori!This just brought tears into my eyes…simply beautiful post!i will try to live up to it
and i hope everyone Else will Do so,too:)
It’s amazing how much you smile when we let go of the fear. Getting braces was something I did for me because I wanted both the inside and outside of my self to be in harmony. If I didn’t care enough about my own health, then how could I care about others? The smile was always there… hidden behind my fears. The braces released those fears to the universe and I have never been happier.
It is impossible to both be grateful and unhappy at the same moment in time. Mind, body and soul must be in totally unity before one can let go of fear, doubt and sadness – fully embracing the best of the world around you.
The most beautiful smile anyone has ever shared with me was from a lady of questionable character who while wearing bright red lipstick smiled a smile that brighten me for days. This smile contained no teeth but it came from her very soul and though this happened several years ago I will never forget it..even wrote a small poem for that moment in time when my world was without color or sunshine she shone into my spirit and rocked my heart…
Teeth yes they are important and I do enjoy mine though they’ve cost me a small fortune but a true smile can do so much more.
Smile with all your heart Kate!
Wow! Beautiful Lori. I love it!
Whenever we drive in a car, I so often see small children and dogs poking their heads out and smiling. It’s a beautiful sight (your post made me realize it more).
Smiling really is amazing. My teeth aren’t exactly right and I sometimes debate whether I should smile or not at someone. My internal debates make me lose that opportunity.
After reading your post, now…… I promise I’ll smile more. It begins here 🙂
I have got so many reasons to! <3
Hi everyone! This past week has been a little hectic, due to my break-in this past weekend, so I hope you’ll excuse this mass response to your comments. I just wanted to thank you for being here, and extend a great big cyber smile from sunny LA. I hope you’re all having a great day!
Lori, Thanks for yet another enlightening article; this one just in time to help he through a Dharma Reflection on smiling that I am doing this Sunday! Over and over, I find that the posts you make are so timely. Sorry for your recent burglary; hope you are getting your life back in order.
Shannon–me too!! I had pretty low self esteem b/c of my teeth growing up and I got them when I was about 29 and got them off around 30 or 31.
Loved your story!
Beautiful, Thank you.
Just to say Tiny Buddha always makes me smile. Thank you so much.
You’re most welcome. Thank you for being here. =)
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. You are never too old to fix what’s not working. Good for you!