Tiny Wisdom: On the Power of a Smile

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“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Last weekend, I had a difficult day. My brother had just flown 3,000 miles across the country after visiting me, which reignited an internal conflict about living so far from my family.

I always feel a familiar emptiness when I deal with that conflict. It’s my instinctive resistance to the undeniable truth that everything in life is a trade off. I can’t simultaneously follow my instinct to be in LA and my instinct to be near my family. Each choice entails sacrifice, and I struggle with that sometimes.

I didn’t leave my apartment that day. I burrowed under the covers, feeling down and helpless, waiting for something outside me to change my state of mind. Eventually, it did change. And it was something external.

I decided to take a five-minute walk just to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. At the end of my street, I saw what looked like a million purple leaves from a Jacaranda tree, sprinkled all over the sidewalk.

Scattered so colorfully and delicately, they looked like pure bliss–like a spa that sprung up through the cement to soothe me right when I needed it. So I smiled, just a little, and then slowly, a little more, until I realized I was somewhere I hadn’t been all day: firmly planted in the present moment, grateful for how beautiful it was.

It didn’t change that there are things I struggle with. We’ll always have challenges in life. But sometimes the best thing we can do when we get caught up in our heads is make a conscious choice to get outside of it. If we want to know joy, we must first be willing to smile.

Photo by cheekycrows3

Comments

22 responses to “Tiny Wisdom: On the Power of a Smile”

May 18, 2011

Jarl Forsman

Wow, That photo would definitely put a smile on my face no matter
what…Although the smile did come from appreciating something external,
you still had to decide to move your legs to go outside and see the
beauty. The decisions always come from the inside but once we make them,
there is so much to appreciate that it’s hard not to smile if your eyes
are open, challenges or not.
May 18, 2011

Christopher Brossard

sometimes i just click away but these arrive at the end of the day for me and i go home with a smile or something to think about.
May 18, 2011

Guest

Thanks for your post this morning. Great message and beautiful photograph!
May 18, 2011

Jarl

Wow, That photo would definitely put a smile on my face no matter what…Although the smile did come from appreciating something external, you still had to decide to move your legs to go outside and see the beauty. The decisions always come from the inside but once we make them, there is so much to appreciate that it’s hard not to smile if your eyes are open, challenges or not.
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

I’m so glad that Tiny Buddha puts a smile on your face =)
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

Thanks Amanda! I hadn’t seen those trees before, and I’m falling in love with them!
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

Absolutely Jarl. The internal motivation to get into the outside world made all the difference.
May 18, 2011

Sarah Nean Bruce

Great article Lori. The Jacaranda Trees that bloom twice a year are definitely a source of my smile and my joy. I love looking up at the sky through them. Last week, in the tight grip of a cluster migraine i did just that and for a moment i forgot the headache as i imagined floating up through them to a lavender colored sky.~snb
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
May 18, 2011

Lao

Where is this? It reminds me so much of the streets in Harare where I grew up! Jacarandas … I love them! 🙂
May 18, 2011

Barbara Hammond

We have pink snow around here from the cherry blossoms falling. I love the purple! What a gorgeous street.
Thanks for the post!
May 18, 2011

Virginia O’Connor

What an honest story. I understand not having family around you. Also, I understand getting so overwhelmed and hooked into what is going on that is upsetting us, we lose us.

Getting out the door, and getting out of ourselves IS the answer. It changes my mood all the time.
Thanks for the reminder,as I had quite a difficult day, thanks for the picture. The beauty of it is mesmerizing.

You never cease to amaze me with your stories and articles. You are the best.
Ginny thepennyfriends.com
May 18, 2011

Liesbeth

Beautiful post. I liked reading it and felt how difficult it is for you to be far away from your family. At the same time I also have difficult days every once in a while, sometimes a few days in a row. I find it very brave of you to share this with us because I find it difficult to share my feelings and emotions on a difficult day.
I really love the picture as well, colourfull and it made me smile.
Thank you.

Love,
Liesbeth
May 18, 2011

Kelly

Love this post : )
May 18, 2011

Pgevans

Just seeing this picture made me smile 🙂
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

Hi Liesbeth,

Sometimes I have those days a few days in a row, too. Even though I know certain things pull me out of a funk, sometimes I just feel the need to be there! Sharing this makes it seem less shameful–and I think that by being open, it might make it easier to get outside a little quicker the next time.

I’m glad this made you smile =)

Lori
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

Thanks Ginny. I think an ongoing struggle for me has been learning to both have roots and fly–and figuring out exactly how that works logistically! I visit home pretty often (at least 6 weeks per year in total). I still miss them when I’m not around, but I’m grateful that I have the flexibility to spend a lot of time with them.

Thanks for commenting. =)

Lori
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

I know–it’s hard not to smile when you’re looking at it. Thanks for commenting! =)
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

This actually isn’t a picture I took. It’s a similar street that I found on Flickr. I’m not sure exactly where it is. Gorgeous, huh?
May 18, 2011

Lori Deschene

Hi Sarah,

I can’t recall ever seeing those trees until I moved here. They’re just amazing! All day today, I pointed them out as my boyfriend and I drove around. (It’s his off-day, so we went bike-riding).

I hope you’re doing well. We still need to meet up one of these days!

Lori
May 19, 2011

Roypaulhutton

It was a few years ago now, but there was a period in my life when I was on the verge of s breakdown, I really thought I was going to crack. I saw my doctor, who sent me to a psychiatrist, none of them could help, to me they were a waste of time. I thought to myself that the only person that could help me was me. I decided that the first thing I would do I’m the morning and the last thing I would do before I went to bed, was to look on the mirror and smile at myself, and tell me I loved me. Soon my smiles turned to laughter and I am here twenty years later and perfectly sane, to tell the tale. When you are down smile at yourself.
May 19, 2011

Lori Deschene

Beautiful. =) Consistent acts of self-love can be so powerful. Thank you for sharing this here!
April 3, 2014

Robb

Good Afternoon all,

I came across this articale and I found it might help me overcome my chronic depression. But I have a question about the smiling part. It is so long since I have smiled.

Friends of my have suggested to fake it until I make it. But it has been so long since I have smiled

Can someone help me learn to smile? I think this is one of the last pieces I need to complete my healing. If I can start smiling at people, and practive my smile, I can move forward.

Any thoughts, directions, or links that you can suggest?

Robb
robbdaigneault@hotmail.com