“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Last weekend, I had a difficult day. My brother had just flown 3,000 miles across the country after visiting me, which reignited an internal conflict about living so far from my family.
I always feel a familiar emptiness when I deal with that conflict. It’s my instinctive resistance to the undeniable truth that everything in life is a trade off. I can’t simultaneously follow my instinct to be in LA and my instinct to be near my family. Each choice entails sacrifice, and I struggle with that sometimes.
I didn’t leave my apartment that day. I burrowed under the covers, feeling down and helpless, waiting for something outside me to change my state of mind. Eventually, it did change. And it was something external.
I decided to take a five-minute walk just to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. At the end of my street, I saw what looked like a million purple leaves from a Jacaranda tree, sprinkled all over the sidewalk.
Scattered so colorfully and delicately, they looked like pure bliss–like a spa that sprung up through the cement to soothe me right when I needed it. So I smiled, just a little, and then slowly, a little more, until I realized I was somewhere I hadn’t been all day: firmly planted in the present moment, grateful for how beautiful it was.
It didn’t change that there are things I struggle with. We’ll always have challenges in life. But sometimes the best thing we can do when we get caught up in our heads is make a conscious choice to get outside of it. If we want to know joy, we must first be willing to smile.
Photo by cheekycrows3
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
sometimes i just click away but these arrive at the end of the day for me and i go home with a smile or something to think about.
Thanks for your post this morning. Great message and beautiful photograph!
Wow, That photo would definitely put a smile on my face no matter what…Although the smile did come from appreciating something external, you still had to decide to move your legs to go outside and see the beauty. The decisions always come from the inside but once we make them, there is so much to appreciate that it’s hard not to smile if your eyes are open, challenges or not.
Wow, That photo would definitely put a smile on my face no matter
what…Although the smile did come from appreciating something external,
you still had to decide to move your legs to go outside and see the
beauty. The decisions always come from the inside but once we make them,
there is so much to appreciate that it’s hard not to smile if your eyes
are open, challenges or not.
I’m so glad that Tiny Buddha puts a smile on your face =)
Thanks Amanda! I hadn’t seen those trees before, and I’m falling in love with them!
Absolutely Jarl. The internal motivation to get into the outside world made all the difference.
Great article Lori. The Jacaranda Trees that bloom twice a year are definitely a source of my smile and my joy. I love looking up at the sky through them. Last week, in the tight grip of a cluster migraine i did just that and for a moment i forgot the headache as i imagined floating up through them to a lavender colored sky.~snb
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Where is this? It reminds me so much of the streets in Harare where I grew up! Jacarandas … I love them! 🙂
We have pink snow around here from the cherry blossoms falling. I love the purple! What a gorgeous street.
Thanks for the post!
What an honest story. I understand not having family around you. Also, I understand getting so overwhelmed and hooked into what is going on that is upsetting us, we lose us.
Getting out the door, and getting out of ourselves IS the answer. It changes my mood all the time.
Thanks for the reminder,as I had quite a difficult day, thanks for the picture. The beauty of it is mesmerizing.
You never cease to amaze me with your stories and articles. You are the best.
Ginny thepennyfriends.com
Beautiful post. I liked reading it and felt how difficult it is for you to be far away from your family. At the same time I also have difficult days every once in a while, sometimes a few days in a row. I find it very brave of you to share this with us because I find it difficult to share my feelings and emotions on a difficult day.
I really love the picture as well, colourfull and it made me smile.
Thank you.
Love,
Liesbeth
Love this post : )
Just seeing this picture made me smile 🙂
Hi Liesbeth,
Sometimes I have those days a few days in a row, too. Even though I know certain things pull me out of a funk, sometimes I just feel the need to be there! Sharing this makes it seem less shameful–and I think that by being open, it might make it easier to get outside a little quicker the next time.
I’m glad this made you smile =)
Lori
Thanks Ginny. I think an ongoing struggle for me has been learning to both have roots and fly–and figuring out exactly how that works logistically! I visit home pretty often (at least 6 weeks per year in total). I still miss them when I’m not around, but I’m grateful that I have the flexibility to spend a lot of time with them.
Thanks for commenting. =)
Lori
I know–it’s hard not to smile when you’re looking at it. Thanks for commenting! =)
This actually isn’t a picture I took. It’s a similar street that I found on Flickr. I’m not sure exactly where it is. Gorgeous, huh?
Hi Sarah,
I can’t recall ever seeing those trees until I moved here. They’re just amazing! All day today, I pointed them out as my boyfriend and I drove around. (It’s his off-day, so we went bike-riding).
I hope you’re doing well. We still need to meet up one of these days!
Lori
It was a few years ago now, but there was a period in my life when I was on the verge of s breakdown, I really thought I was going to crack. I saw my doctor, who sent me to a psychiatrist, none of them could help, to me they were a waste of time. I thought to myself that the only person that could help me was me. I decided that the first thing I would do I’m the morning and the last thing I would do before I went to bed, was to look on the mirror and smile at myself, and tell me I loved me. Soon my smiles turned to laughter and I am here twenty years later and perfectly sane, to tell the tale. When you are down smile at yourself.
Beautiful. =) Consistent acts of self-love can be so powerful. Thank you for sharing this here!
Good Afternoon all,
I came across this articale and I found it might help me overcome my chronic depression. But I have a question about the smiling part. It is so long since I have smiled.
Friends of my have suggested to fake it until I make it. But it has been so long since I have smiled
Can someone help me learn to smile? I think this is one of the last pieces I need to complete my healing. If I can start smiling at people, and practive my smile, I can move forward.
Any thoughts, directions, or links that you can suggest?
Robb
robbdaigneault@hotmail.com