“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
The other day, I was looking through friends’ Facebook albums–and by friends, I mean teenage cousins, readers I’ve yet to meet, and acquaintances from high school.
It all started so innocently, clicking on a recently added photo on my wall, and before I knew it, I was knee-deep in the lives of people I rarely see, have never seen, or haven’t seen in years.
There were, of course, hundreds of photos of each person in different exciting destinations–kind like that garden gnome that shows up in pictures from places around the world. That’s a big part of the Facebook photo appeal, after all; it’s a memorial for all the fun you want to remember you had (or show other people you had).
But what mesmerized me weren’t the exotic locations or momentous occasions. What captivated me were the smiles. The real smiles, the kind that starts with your eyes and reveals that you are present, peaceful, engaged, and truly grateful for the moment you’re enjoying. They had no idea, but their smiles brightened my day.
I started thinking about some research I read recently that revealed Facebook can make people unhappy, because we tend to compare ourselves unfavorably to other people, based on their updates and photos. In that moment, I realized that regardless of where we go or what we have to celebrate, we can all have that same unbridled joy–if we’re willing to create it.
We can all make time for the people and things we love and create those beautiful, genuine smiles. Ultimately, that’s what we all want–not other people’s lives, but the joy we sometimes forget is always available to all of us.
Today if you start feeling like you don’t have a lot to smile about, ask yourself: What do I love, and how can I fit it in today?
Photo by DaveyBoyee
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Great post Lori. And you bring up a very very good point about becoming unhappy by what we see in Facebook. I can say that I’ve felt little pings and pangs when I see photos of people doing all kinds of neat and interesting things, and sometimes feel like I need to be doing the same (even if I have absolutely no interest in doing them).
It’s funny too, that we base a lot of our social interactions on Facebook. For instance, just this morning a really close friend of mine was having a minor freak out about a guy she just started seeing because he didn’t “comment” on one of her posts. She was so nervous that he wasn’t interested anymore. It’s Wednesday, and they just had an amazing date on Sunday lol.
What do I love you ask? Well, I love my brothers, and a matter fact, I’m getting ready to see them both today for a sibling day in Boston 🙂
Thanks again for the great post, and I’ll chat with you soon!
Best,
Sirena
Good post, Lori. I too can find myself layered deep in my FB friends’ photo albums. I used to find myself, almost…jealous of my “friends'” adventures. I felt I was boring and all that I ever did was wake-up, work, eat, sleep, wake-up, work, eat, sleep…so I decided to do something about it! Now I try to find something fun and exciting to do each day!! It’s a great game I play with myself to make sure I don’t fall into a rut.
Unnerving that I had this conversation with a close friend just lastnight!! I had said to check out the tinybuddha site & that it always helps me get my thoughts into perspective. Wow to the powers that be…everything happens as it should, when it should.
Is this a photo of an actual Tiny Buddha statuette? If so, do mind sharing where you got the little guy? I’m looking for one I can put outside near my pool, near an outdoor meditation spot.
I love looking at friends photos mostly present to old pals’ quirky perspectives on life. NPR posted something about perspective today.
I have some friends that use FB to inspire, motivate & support one another’s causes or to ask for prayers in trying times: deaths, surgeries, job interviews, or just to make each other laugh.
It is indeed! Unfortunately, I don’t know where that Buddha is from, as I got this photo from Flickr. However, I know that Buddha Groove sells all types of Buddha figurines and statues. http://bit.ly/p7fifr (They are a Tiny Buddha sponsor.)
What a wonderful coincidence! I’m glad Tiny Buddha helps put things in perspective for you. =)
I understand that feeling, Allyn. I love your idea of finding something fun and exciting to do every day. I’ve been reconnecting with some simple pleasures from my childhood lately, and I’ve been feeling a renewed sense of passion/excitement for life. It’s amazing how tiny choices really can make a huge difference.
Yes! I know exactly what you mean. I have felt those same “pings and pangs”–and often over things I didn’t (and don’t) really want. It’s been really help for me to step back and ask myself: “What’s going on here? What is it that I’m really looking for?”
How awesome you had a sibling day! I’m looking forward to doing the same when I visit home in August. I’m so psyched that it’s coming up!
Chat soon =)
Lori
I saw the perfect video today about the search for validation and how smiles save the day. http://bit.ly/oykzG8 I am realizing in my own journey, the cure-all to anger, pain, and fear are beautiful moments. I think I’m committing here to create more genuine smiles everywhere, everyday. I love that photo. Spread the love.
Very cool you’ll be home in August! Prime Red Sox season.
BTW, I have my bio and picture for you, I’ll be sending it your way later on today :))
Have a lovely day!
Sirena
Inspiring post in a wonderful blog.
Thanks so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it! =)