“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha
Every now and then, someone writes to me to inform me that something I’ve written doesn’t align with Buddhism. I can understand this instinct. After all, the site is called Tiny Buddha, and Buddhists who come here likely expect to find information that will reinforce their beliefs and strengthen their practice.
My response is always the same: I don’t write to help people become better Buddhists; I write about ideas that often come from the Buddhist tradition because I believe they can help us become better people.
If my personal feelings or thoughts sometimes fall outside the scope of Buddhist thought, it’s because I explore and apply the ideas that make sense to me, regardless of whether or not they align with a specific belief system.
If we’re being honest with ourselves, I suspect we’ll recognize that we very rarely fit perfectly within any one group or label. If you consider yourself a Democrat, odds are there are some policies that you support and others that you disagree with.
If you were raised to follow a certain religion, you’ve probably realized there are some ideas that make sense to you and others you strongly question.
Maybe this is a good thing. When we allow ourselves to be more multifaceted than our labels, we’re better able to stay open-minded. Also, it compels us to really listen to our instincts instead of questioning what collective belief dictates.
There’s something to be said for identifying with a group. In his book The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World, the Dalai Lama wrote that we need both a sense of individual identity and belonging to feel balanced and happy.
I suspect, however, that we’ll allow ourselves a lot more room for growth if we let our affiliations enhance our lives instead of allowing them to limit or define them.
Of course, that’s just what I believe. What makes sense to you?
Photo by permanently scatterbrained
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
- Web |
- More Posts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
I have been studying Buddhist teachings for about 6 months now and I completely agree with your perspective. I find Buddhism has a great set values that, if practiced by all, make the world a better place. However, with any tradition, there are aspects of Buddhism that I find somewhat outdated and not inline with my personal belief system. I believe when examining any set of traditional beliefs one should take what works for them but above all else, try to stick to the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
When experience contradicts what’s written, follow experience. To me this is authentic living.
I often read advices for what could be identified as the beginning of the journey for some, and when you’ve been traveling for a while, these advices do sound a bit offbeat. I’m glad you’re doing it anyway, and in the end its all about getting all sentient beings “onboard”. We sometimes need a dose of ambition in order to find out what we want, even if to discover we don’t need these wants after all. Thanks.
I agree with you on this point – ascribing to a system of beliefs does not mean you stick to it down to the letter -that’s actually what I love about Buddhism… it is a personal journey. We all have an idea of what the aim is, we all have an idea of where we are going and what we would like to do, but we are all at different stages of the journey and that’s ok. Besides, each one of us practices at a different level of strictness and of course, non-Buddhist readers are accomodated as well.
But I hope one thing above all – that the people who are pointing things out realise that this has more to do with *them* than it does with the site… 🙂
Lori, loved today’s post. I’m not a Buddhist, instead striving for a balanced, healthy, boundary-setting life. If your writings were rigidly Buddhist, I probably wouldn’t be a Follower.
Kelly
Here! Here! I am of the mind that following any path too rigidly will create many missed opportunities for growth. We’re seeing a lot of that in the U.S. lately.
Thanks Lori!
b
Very well said. Balance and moderation coupled with an open heart and an open
mind.
Right on. I so often find my self thinking I “should” pick a belief system and stick with it. But the truth is my beliefs don’t fit in any one box. Thanks for the reinforcement Lori.
Love your articles Lori!
I believe in take what you need, and leave the rest. Some people feel the need to cling to a rigid dogma and perhaps that’s right for them. I neither presume to make those decisions for others nor believe they have the right to make them for me.
Spot on, once again Tiny Buddha! Unless we belong to a “religion of one” there appears to be no belief system that’ll align entirely with our personal beliefs. And, then again, I suppose all religions are truly “religions of one” after all, aren’t they? LOL 🙂
Nice thoughts!
This may be one of the most helpful things I’ve ever read. Seeing as it comes from a spiritual reference I think anyone who reads it is looking for the positive side of life and takes this in a positive manner. Some people might be able to interpret this as a way to dodge societies morals, but I think Lori has it right here in her notes about the quote. We all are looking to fit in and this makes those of us who don’t fit, so to speak, find a place. Thank you Lori. Peace.
“I suspect, however, that we’ll allow ourselves a lot more room for growth if we let our affiliations enhance our lives, instead of allowing them to limit or define them.”
This agrees with my own reason and common sense. Therefore, I believe it. (Hey! It works!)
Can I just say that I love Love this blog! Keep it up 🙂
Gosh, I couldn’t agree more. To add to the conversation, I recommend taking a look at Stephen Batchelor’s writings on Buddhism, which follow a similar path. For me personally, Buddhism is not a religion, but a culture and a way of life. I prefer to discard the religious trappings because I don’t find them useful, but then that’s just me.
Lori, this post is awesome, I fully believe with any spiritual practice, if we apply what speaks to us, and what speaks through us to our lives, it helps us to arrive at our truest self. I have never felt that your website claimed to be a resource for only Buddhism, but more a resource to help guide us to our truer selves – to read the stories and quotes that speak to our hearts and to incorporate those things we feel strongly about into our own lives. Thank you for creating this site, for me it is a daily reminder to focus on what truly matters to me.
I wrote about this concept recently on my travel blog
http://www.ytravelblog.com/the-dangers-of-being-culturally-defined/
I don’t like labels as they force us to act, think and believe in a certain way. This leaves little room for growth and opening our mind up to and accepting other ways. I could miss out on ways of thinking and being that could enhance my life because of my rigid labels or rules.
I’m all for embracing the thoughts and ideas of many different people. I think that brings about balance and peace.
Great post
Thanks, Kelly! I have a feeling this is the case for a lot of people. It’s not so much about Buddhism, or anyone school of thought–it’s about what helps us stay balanced, and that can be lots of things.
I’m with you! I try to label myself as little as possible. Great post on your end, as well. I particularly liked the part where you mentioned an air of superiority. I think collectivism often does that.
Thank you, Czynski. I’m so glad Tiny Buddha has helped you in that way. That’s what I hoped for the site!
I’m with you, Ron! I’ve never been much for religion, but I think there’s something spiritual about living in the moment, even if it seems ordinary, and fully experiencing it. I love that Buddhism emphasizes that.
Thanks Vanessa!
Nice, my silent friend!
You’re welcome, Tony. I’m right there with you!
Beautifully said from you, as well. =)
Thanks for this. I certainly don’t fit within any one group or label, and yet find it perfectly possible to be as spiritual as I want to be. X
Good to read this today. I write about identity and labels and I want to focus more on individual identity, because I feel this shapes group identity and a sense of belonging. Also, we all have so many labels going on at the same time – and that’s OK, as long as we don’t discriminate. Labels help us understand the world by categorizing it.
Really love your site, best of luck with it!
you understand the real meaning of buddhism…
Like your posts..!!!
You are most welcome, Kaffer. =)
Thanks, Esther! What you wrote is really interesting–about labels helping us understand the world. I will definitely check out site!
Thank you!
Wow thanks Lori, will have to step up my game and give you a warm welcome on IdentiTales!
This piece is 100% on target; for me that is. “I suspect, however, that we’ll allow ourselves a lot more room for growth if we let our affiliations enhance our lives, instead of allowing them to limit or define them.”- I try to apply this to my life daily. No one elses standards or expectations can or should define you. Instead we should focus on becoming better human beings each and every day we are blessed with breath.
Well-said! I find that I am happiest, and most open to growth, when I keep my sense of identity fluid.
I am in the mist of a decision to convert my Christianity religion to Buddhism and this post has sparked questions within me. Not only from the religion decision that I am making, but other personal ones as well. It came at the right time. Great Work!