“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -Aristotle
No matter what you’re trying to do, someone somewhere has a harsh opinion.
Maybe it’s a virtual stranger. Since the advent of the Internet, people can easily vent their judgments behind a cloak of anonymity. Most of the world’s successful people have a Google trail laced with negativity.
Or maybe it’s someone who’s supposed to have faith in you—your father doubts your aptitude for the legal profession, or your friend thinks your singing belongs in the shower.
Either way, it hurts. And you may lose steam as a result.
Don’t.
Barbra Streisand’s mother told her she wasn’t pretty enough to be an actress and her voice was inadequate, to boot.
Peers criticized Albert Einstein about everything from his looks to his intelligence as a child, yet he grew up to become the father of modern physics.
Many people in France considered Gustav Eiffel’s tower design an eyesore and wanted it torn down.
“They” aren’t always right.
If you come against criticism today, realize it’s a gift. Whether it’s a valid suggestion to help you improve, or a harsh judgment that reminds you to develop a thicker skin, it can help you get closer to your dreams.
*This is an updated version of a post from September, 2009. Photo by Jen and a Camera.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Barbara Streisand's mother was correct. But, indeed, that somehow didn't stop her.
Thanks for the insightful post. It's such an important thing to remember that it's the act of putting ourselves out into the world that matters, not people's reactions to our creations.
[…] September 25, 2009 « tinybuddha.com […]
Very timely post because I was left a nasty comment today on my blog and it does make you feel a bit bummed. But the fact that is was the first of its kind after over 120 previous comments made me feel better about it.
Also, this is a good blog post about dealing with criticism: http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/08/24…
I am sorry Lory, but I don’t think criticism can help anyone excel. In fact, it does more bad than good. It might motivate someone you have criticized but practically, he is into utter competition with your words and takes up a challenge.
Instead of loving the journey, he begins to consider the end to be the loving part and hatred as journey. So, good that you said, but I don’t think criticism ever helps and inside us, we all know that..
I can understand your perspective, but I see things a little differently, and this is why: criticism is inevitable in life, and not all of it will be constructive. We can either get frustrated and shut down in the face of it, or find something positive to take from it.
Incidentally, I began my writing career because of one harsh criticism that was somewhat cruel in the delivery, but ultimately contained seeds of truth. I am so grateful for that criticism, because it motivated me to write, which led to the web, and eventually led to Tiny Buddha. It helped me more than any praise I’d received prior because it made me look into myself and inspired me to take action.
likeeeeeeeeeee…………ok
A very useful post, given that the apparent pressures of modern day life and assaults on ego’s cause people to produce a seemingly ever increasing volume of criticism .
Being of Indian origin, unless I became a doctor nothing would be good enough for my mother.
I remember coming home from the school drama club aged 12 and proudly announcing to my mother that I was going to be an actor when I grow up. “That’s fine,” replied my mother. “Just remember that actor is spelled d-o-c-t-o-r!”
The emotional battering I received for not be good enough in my youth, has proved to be the foundation for my ability to stay emotionally detached when required and also given me a steel back bone………So thanks mum!
As always a very insightful post. Very motivating.
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I understand the difficulties for some people to overcome a harsh critique or some type of negative feedback, but if a person gives in to how others feel about them, then they will never be able to accomplish anything.
I’m a living story of not feeding into the negativity. I’ve always had to hear the skeptics growing up in the streets of New York. Hearing it from peers, hearing it from teachers. But I used that negativity as fuel to keep pushing. I consider myself to be very successful. I graduated high school, on time, despite entering my senior year with only enough credits to be considered a sophomore; served eight and a half years in the US Army and rose up the ranks very fast, despite people saying that I didn’t have what it took. I’m a single dad, but I manage to take care of my kids and have a pretty successful career as an IT Instructor.
I also blog and try to motivate others to never give up on themselves; don’t feed into the negativity. Misery needs company and I’ve found that is the primary reason why so much negativity exists. It’s systemic and gets passed down from generation to generation. At some point it has to be quelled and something positive needs to be put in its place. I believe the point of the blog was to try to encourage people, that despite any negativity that a person is trying to throw your way, that you make it into a positive event.
We all know that different people handle criticisms differently. I’ll never forget when my relatives criticised me for not completely fulfilling a wedding shoot that I had offered to undertake for free (as a token of my appreciation for the bride and groom). I took this negative feedback badly because from where I stood, they not only spoke badly about my work but also insulted my gift for the couple.
I expressed this frustration and anger by creating my first ever blog post on Nov 3, 2006
http://shimworld.wordpress.com/2006/11/03/remember-remember-the-3rd-of-november/
Today, SHIMWORLD is very close to a million page views. I channelled all the negative energy in me into something incredibly productive. I had started something that has become a source of inspiration to many around the world.
Wow that sounds like a lot of pressure! I’m glad to hear you were able to turn that into something positive. I mentioned below in response to another reader that I got some major criticism before I became a professional writer. (An old friend essentially told me I wasn’t a real writer because I wasn’t getting paid). It was harsh, but I have to say it was a huge motivator. I can honestly say my life might be a lot different if I didn’t develop a stronger drive on that day.
Wow! You made a great choice. Its all too easy in the face of criticism to forget that we always have a choice. Even in our deepest darkest hours. It reminds of what The Dalai Lama said when asked why he didn’t advocate violence againt the Chinese invaders: “They have taken everything else, why should I let them take my mind?”
This is a very worthwhile site; thank you.
You are most welcome. =)