Tiny Buddha

Category: Strength

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Conflict

    Tiny Wisdom: On Conflict

    “Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” -Unknown

    There are some days when I want everything to stop.

    I want the calls to stop, the emails to stop, the requests to stop, the expectations to stop, the confrontations to stop, and the struggles to stop. Essentially, I want everything to feel quiet and easy.

    Then I realize that if everything stopped, life would be boring, uneventful, and static.

    If everything stopped, I wouldn’t have any opportunities to create, grow, learn from other people, or share what I’ve learned with them. Life would not be peaceful–life just wouldn’t be happening.

    What I really want on those chaotic days isn’t for the world to stop. I just want to stop seeing the world as a million fires I need to put out. I want to stop interpreting everything as a conflict or crisis. I want to stop living life in a constant state of reaction, and instead focus on the actions that matter to me.

    I suspect that’s what we all want: the ability to nurture a sense of peace that doesn’t crumble every time our circumstances get challenging.

    The truth is we can access that on any day we choose to. We just need to choose–and then keep choosing instead of responding with stress, fear, and angst.

    Today if your world seems less than peaceful, remind yourself: I can deal with whatever happens outside me. It starts by taking responsibility for what happens inside.

    Photo by mahalaie

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Living

    Tiny Wisdom: On Living

    “It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” -Eckhart Tolle

    You might not think to compare beloved children’s writer Dr. Seuss to spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, but there’s a common message about happiness in both their works: We can only experience joy through action in the now, not by waiting to get it some day, when everything works out and makes sense.

    From Seuss’ Oh the Places You Will Go:

    The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

    Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

    Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

    He then writes: No! That’s not for you!

    But I’m going to alter that slightly since we’re all adults now. That very well might be you. I know that it’s been me. I’ve waited for the right time to make a change, the ideal time to tell someone how I feel, the safest time to try something new, and the easiest time to take care of myself.

    The only problem is that it rarely feels right, ideal, safe, or easy. Those words are merely excuses to let the moment slip away. And it does. Over and over again until they have run out.

    This moment is a chance to do something differently, no matter how small it may seem. Every big change starts with one small choice.

    The best way to stop waiting and start living is to decide that life happens now, and to ask yourself: If you knew time was running out, what would you stop waiting to do?

    Photo by scion_cho

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Life’s Beauty

    Tiny Wisdom: On Life’s Beauty

    Man and Rainbow

    “It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.” -Proverb

    There are some things in life that just don’t make any sense. There are things we can’t explain or understand, no matter how hard we try.

    There are events that seem to have no reason and mistakes that appear to bring no lesson. There’s darkness that can feel completely unbearable and light that can seem far too fleeting to trust. One day’s happiness gives way to tomorrow’s sadness. One day’s loss is tomorrow’s gain.

    The only guarantee in life is that everything will transform, whether we’re ready for it or not.

    And yet, even with uncertainty, unpredictability, and the inevitability of change, life can be so beautiful. The challenges give the victories a greater sense of meaning. The pain gives us a greater sense of appreciation for the pleasure.

    And through it all, there’s the knowledge that no matter what we endure, we can come out the other side stronger, wiser, and better able to make a positive difference in the world.

    Today, if there’s a little rain on your horizon—if you’re hurting in your body, mind, or heart—know that it will eventually pass and make way for the light. Then take a deep breath and remember: Every challenge contains within it the possibility of reward.

    Man and rainbow image via Shutterstock

     

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Becoming Again

    Tiny Wisdom: On Becoming Again

    “To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” ~Pema Chodron

    A lot of times we say we want to expand our world, but without realizing it we attach to the way things are.

    We attach to our feelings, relationships, and circumstances, and then fight to hold onto them for dear life. It’s scary to let go of what is and what works, and sometimes even what doesn’t work. Familiar and bearable can be a lot more comforting than the unknown and potentially dissatisfying.

    And yet tomorrow is always unknown. No matter how secure we may feel with what we have, everything can change in a heartbeat. We can choose to fear what could go wrong and then wade into a murky tomorrow feeling fearful and resistant, or embrace the possibility of what could go right and face tomorrow with excitement and wonder.

    Every day we can mourn who we were before or many befores ago, or celebrate who we’re becoming now and in the nows to come. Which do you choose today?

    Photo by daz smith

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Resisting Emotions

    Tiny Wisdom: On Resisting Emotions

    “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    No amount of strength will change the fact that we are human, and to be human means to hurt. We won’t hurt always, and we don’t have to suffer endlessly, but we will feel emotions all through our lives.

    Even if we become really adept at dealing with uncomfortable emotions, we will never completely transcend them. And would we even want to? The ability to feel the darkest of moments gives us the capacity to enjoy the lightest.

    So I say lets stop fighting our natural duality. There’s no reason to pretend you’re smiling when you’re crying silently inside. It’s pointless to pretend you don’t feel angry, annoyed, frustrated, exhausted, disappointed, disillusioned, or dissatisfied when you do. Sit there and feel whatever you feel. It has a lot less power when you let it go through you.

    Only in experiencing and then taking power away from our emotions can we then let them go and move on.

    What do you need to feel and then release today?

    Photo by Kelp1966

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Honoring You

    Tiny Wisdom: On Honoring You

    “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Hardy D. Jackson

    There is a big difference between being there for people and being inauthentic to please people. The irony is that we often do this for people we love thinking it’s what they want. It isn’t. They want our needs to be met, but they can’t know them unless we acknowledge and honor them ourselves.

    We are the ones who need to decide who we are and what it means to be true to ourselves; and we’re the ones who have to find the strength to walk away when something isn’t right.

    Only we can choose and leave our jobs. Only we can enter and end our relationships. Only we can decide when to go out, when to stay in, when to push, when to rest, when to try, and when to opt out. We can’t outsource our choices, but we can give ourselves permission to make them.

    What would it look like if you were completely true to yourself today, without judging yourself or compromising to make other people happy?

    Photo by IngridTaylar

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Being You

    Tiny Wisdom: On Being You

    “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” -E.E. Cummings

    It can be difficult to be true to yourself if you have no idea who you are.

    So often we identify with who we’ve been in the past, holding onto bad memories and assuming they have to define us. Or we think about who we should be—things we want to have, how to we want to be perceived, and how we want to be remembered.

    We attach to things and people, as if they are a part of us, and then feel disjointed when someone leaves or something changes.

    Those things aren’t who we are. We are not what we own. We are not who we have been. We are not what other people judge us to be. Who we are on any given day is the result of what we choose to think and do.

    Find the courage today to choose for you, no one else. Choose without stressing about what’s come and gone or worrying about what might be. Choose based on who you want to  be in the world today, and then honor that choice with your actions.

    What do you need to do today to be the person you want to be?

    photo by h.koppdelaney

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    “Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” -Eckhart Tolle

    Things might not happen for a reason, but we can always find a reason to move on enriched.

    We can let disappointments devastate us, or we can move on in humility, finding opportunities within the hardship.

    We can let frustrations consume us, or we can foster a sense of peace and balance, choosing not to live in a constant state or reaction to our circumstances.

    We can let dissatisfaction gnaw away at our spirits, assuming it’s too late to create life as we want to experience it, or we can live powerfully in the now, choosing every day to do something that makes us feel fulfilled.

    These are the options we’re given in life—to drown in our sorrow about what we can’t control, or soar in the possibilities of everything we can.

    What do you choose today?

    Photo by zackzen

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

    Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

    “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

    Sometimes resentment and anger may seem involuntary, like reactions you have to indulge for a length of time proportionate to how badly you were wronged. It might even feel like your anger is a justified retaliation, and you’d be weak if you let it go.

    The irony is that after we’ve been hurt, we choose to continue hurting ourselves. Bitterness never feels good, no matter where it’s rooted.

    Psychologists suggest that when other people make mistakes, we tend to assign them character flaws (i.e.: he’s selfish, or she doesn’t care who she hurts) whereas when we make mistakes, we more frequently cite external causes (i.e.: I’ve been overworked, or I haven’t been getting enough sleep.)

    It’s almost as though we’re willing to let ourselves off the hook because we have to live with ourselves, but when it comes to other people we’re quick to condemn and slow to forget.

    You might not be able to forget what happened yesterday, but you can choose not to let it suffocate today. We all have character flaws and we’re all affected by external causes. Today if you have a hard time forgiving, ask yourself this question: do you want to feel bitter or better?

    photo by gautsch.

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

    Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

    “What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.

    All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape instead of something to celebrate.

    This moment is all we’re guaranteed. Don’t fill it worrying about being better or doing more in the world. Even if you spend today creating a tomorrow you visualize, go through it knowing you create a lot of value and happiness, just as you are. You might be amazed by how much you can accomplish when you’re satisfied with the present, exactly as it is.

    Photo by xiffy