Tiny Buddha

Category: Possibilities

  • Tiny Wisdom: How You Know You’re on the Right Track

    Tiny Wisdom: How You Know You’re on the Right Track

    Buddha

    “If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” -Julia Soul

    If you think you may have made mistakes, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re doing things even though you’re not perfect at them, which is the only way to learn and grow.

    If you think you may have looked stupid, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re letting yourself be vulnerable, which is the only way to fully experience something new.

    If you think you may have said the wrong thing, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re talking to people you don’t feel completely comfortable around, which opens you up to new relationships and possibilities.

    If you think you may have failed, you are probably on the right track. That means you put yourself out there, instead of waiting for the perfect time, which doesn’t actually exist.

    If you think you may have blown your one opportunity, you are probably wrong.

    This is what keeps us from taking risks: the fear that we may somehow suffer for trying and doing poorly. Not just that we’ll experience uncomfortable feelings, but that we’ll ruin our only chance.

    We’ll have countless chances in our lives, if we’re willing to take them. We’ll have limitless possibilities to seize, if we remember all those uncomfortable feelings are worth the possible rewards.

    Today if you find you feel scared, embarrassed, hurt, or vulnerable, remember: feelings eventually fade, but what you create in spite of them can change your life forever.

    Buddha image via Shutterstock

  • Tiny Wisdom: When Beliefs Are Not Facts

    Tiny Wisdom: When Beliefs Are Not Facts

    “The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” -Pema Chodron

    Most people have areas where they’re willing to accept new information and others where they just won’t budge.

    An overweight friend of mine used to believe she needed a relationship to be happy, but that no one could love someone her size. She also believed she was too mentally weak to stick to a diet. The sum of her beliefs: She was stuck in a situation she couldn’t change, and, therefore, would always be alone–and as a consequence, unhappy.

    Because she believed all those things were facts, she never tried to make any of the positive changes she really wanted. She just accepted that they weren’t possible.

    I suspect we do this to ourselves all the time. I know I have. For a long time, I believed that I needed to hide my flaws or people wouldn’t respect me. As a result, I failed to give anyone the chance–and in the process, made it really difficult to respect myself.

    Our beliefs can often limit us, sometimes in small ways, and other times on a much larger scale. Religious beliefs have vastly limited our ability to connect with, hear, and learn from others who happen to see things differently. They’ve even led us to harm them.

    Oftentimes, we’d rather cling to what we think is right and cut off 95% of the possibilities available to us than admit we could be wrong. We could always be wrong.

    Very little in life is immutable, least of all your limiting beliefs about who you are and what you can become.

    Today when you come up against a belief that limits you or the people around you, ask yourself:  What possibilities would I open up if I accepted that this might not be true?

    This is an updated version of a post from September, 2009. Photo by The Fayj.

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Letting Go of Painful Stories

    Tiny Wisdom: On Letting Go of Painful Stories

    “The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that.” -Eckhart Tolle

    Today I read that Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped in 2002, is going to join ABC as a correspondent, covering missing persons.

    In case you haven’t followed this case, Elizabeth was only 14 when Brian David Mitchell abducted her from her Salt Lake City home. Her parents had previously hired the homeless man for a day’s work, something they did often to help people who were down on their luck. And yet for nine months he hid Elizabeth, subjecting her to daily cruelty.

    In response to her new position, ABC News spokeswoman Julie Townsend said, “…her contributions will be focused on looking ahead, not looking back at her own story.”

    As I read this, I thought about how easy it would be for her to let that story define her and her life. People have done it with far less traumatic events.

    She could wake up every day bitter and guarded. She could take comfort in a victim identity, expecting other people to take care of her. She could rehash what happened over and over again to anyone would listen–and we would understand. After all, she’s been through so much.

    But when you focus on all the bad things you’ve been through, it’s nearly impossible to recognize when you’re going through something good. It’s even more challenging to create something good with what you have.

    The stories we tell and wrap our lives around can easily limit who we become if we let them. The alternative is to let go of that pain identity. To stop dwelling on how you’ve been hurt. To decide that, right now, you have choices, and you’re not going to let your fear and anger make them for you.

    Today if you find yourself rehashing a painful past, remember: It may help to talk things through, but if you want to experience real happiness, at some point, you need to let go.

    Photo by JapanDave

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Where We’re Going and Why

    Tiny Wisdom: On Where We’re Going and Why

    “A journey is best measured in friends,  rather than miles.” -Tim Cahill

    Not too long ago, someone asked me how scalable Tiny Buddha is, and how I plan to expand the site to reach millions of people and generate substantial revenue.

    My answer was (and is) that I don’t. I have absolutely no concrete plans to reach certain benchmarks for readers or dollars. I do, however, have plans for the site’s growth–but they’re focused more on creating new features than attracting new people to use them.

    It’s not about expanding Tiny Buddha’s reach; it’s about how deeply we can all reach each other.

    I realize that in business, particularly when you’re not working alone, you sometimes need to focus on numbers. But there’s something to said for checking in with why you’re doing what you’re doing and choosing to focus on that.

    I suspect that if we peeled away the layers of our motivations, most of us would discover that what we really want is to connect with other people and make a positive difference in their lives. Sure, we also want to make a comfortable living, and it wouldn’t hurt to leave behind some kind of legacy.

    But focusing on the numbers–putting all your energy into plans to go the distance–can be a huge distraction from why you started this journey to begin with. It can pressure you to sell when you’d rather just engage, or promote when you’d rather create, or brand yourself when you’d rather just be who you are.

    When you’re focused on how far you can go, it can be difficult to appreciate how far you’ve already come, and how beautiful it is, right here.

    Today if you find yourself dwelling on where you want to be–how many followers, fans, subscribers, page views, or customers you want to have–remember: Your success is only about the numbers if you choose to measure it that way.

    Photo by lok_lok 05

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Believing in Your Ideas

    Tiny Wisdom: On Believing in Your Ideas

    “Ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes all you need to open the door is just one more good idea.” -Jim Rohn

    The other day, my boyfriend and I started brainstorming for a screenplay we’re going to write. As we kept finding new details about the characters and events, I found myself fully visualizing it in my head.

    I saw what the actors would look like. I imagined the trailer. I could hear the soundtrack. I was laughing at jokes that we didn’t yet write. The movie felt like a living, breathing organism, and in that moment, even at the very beginning of this new journey, I fully believed in our possibility.

    I told him it felt so real, even though it was just a seed of an idea, and in that moment, I believed we could write it and get it made. That initial enthusiasm, the unadulterated belief–it’s magic. It’s when you’ve yet to consider all the reasons it might not work. It’s before you’ve contemplated all the odds against you, or weighed other people’s opinions as if they’re facts.

    That’s the feeling that makes things happen: the belief in what you visualize. It’s not always easy to retain it, especially when you start doubting what you know and what you can do.

    I know very little about writing a screenplay, but I know I am passionate enough about my ideas to commit to the process of learning.

    You won’t always know what you need to know. You won’t always get other people to see what you see. And sometimes even you might stop believing. Obstacles have a way of seeming insurmountable, but rarely is that true.

    Today if you start thinking your idea isn’t good enough, take a deep breath and remember: What’s important is not what you know in this moment; it’s what you believe you can learn and do.

    Photo by mockerfab4

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Creating Change

    Tiny Wisdom: On Creating Change

    “To get something you never had, you  have to do something you never did.” -Unknown

    There’s a reason we often take the path most traveled: Seeing all the footprints on the well-trodden road creates the illusion of certainty, especially when many are your own.

    When it’s familiar,  it feels safe. You know what’s at the end; you’ve been there before. You know how to get there, so you don’t need to pay too much attention to your steps or the details along the way. You can just kind of put yourself on auto-pilot and go.

    But there’s something kind of ironic about living on auto-pilot.

    We generally do the things we’ve always done because they require less mental effort; you know what’s around you, so you don’t need to worry as much. But instinctively, we still find things to stress about. Even if we follow the path that feels comfortable, we generally end up thinking about the possibility of things we can’t control. There are always things we can’t control. Nothing is ever certain.

    If you inevitably need to embrace the discomfort of knowing the future is uncertain, why not choose the discomfort that might push you one inch closer to the possibilities you dream about?

    Why not reach out to someone you admire, or go to that event you’re scared to attend, or pitch that idea you’re afraid isn’t great? Life is bound to be messy and occasionally scary. Why not actively choose your changes, instead of waiting for them to choose you?

    Today as you go about your day, if you find yourself doing what you’ve always done, ask yourself: What would make me feel excited about today? Then do it. That tingling sense of fear and possibility–it’s the feeling of being alive.

    Photo by C.Davenby

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Risks and Rewards

    Tiny Wisdom: On Risks and Rewards

    “Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” -H. Jackson Browne

    It’s safe. Familiar. Comfortable. Effortless. It doesn’t make waves. It’s what other people think you should do. You’re less likely to fail. Less likely to feel vulnerable. Less likely to question if it was worth the risk.

    Whether you realize it now or not, it is. We tend to regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did.

    On my first date with my boyfriend, I told him over dinner that I’d always wanted to go skydiving, even though I was afraid of heights. And I meant it–someday. As in someday far away, in a time when it suddenly seemed less terrifying. Someday came far quicker than I’d planned.

    He told me that if I wanted to see him again, I’d have to jump out of a plane. So he took me skydiving on our second date. For days before, I considered backing out, especially after I tweeted about it and someone linked me to skydiving fatalities. Although I knew it would likely be safe, I was afraid of the inherent risk.

    What pushed me through was the realization that I said I wanted to do it because I did. So I took it one moment at a time. I focused first on just getting in the car–that was all I had to do. Then next on going into the building. Then next on boarding the plane. Then next on jumping out.

    What I didn’t plan was the last step–feeling more alive than I ever had before.

    I took the risk one simple action step at a time, and though it didn’t completely take away the fear, it certainly pushed me through it. It was absolutely worth it. Nothing is more satisfying than actually doing what you’ve always said you wanted to do.

    Get unsafe. Less familiar. Uncomfortable. Difficult. Make waves. Define expectations. Risk failing. Feel vulnerable. Be bold and courageous. No matter where it takes you, leaving your comfort zone–learning, growing, feeling alive–is always worth the risk.

    Photo by magical-world

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Dropping Excuses

    “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll

    Joshua Denney, who designed this site and does a ton behind the scenes, found this video and posted it on Facebook yesterday with the heading, “No excuses.”

    What could you accomplish if you stopped making excuses and started focusing on making a difference?

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What We Envision

    Tiny Wisdom: On What We Envision

    “We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision.” -Unknown

    Have you ever cut yourself off right in the middle of imagining a possibility? I did it to myself earlier today. As I wrote in my recent blog post about needing less money, I am happiest when I have enough, but don’t devote countless hours to the pursuit of abundance.

    Today I was thinking about a world where I could take care of all of my needs through barter, when suddenly I stopped short and thought, “All is a little unrealistic.” I then started making a mental list of all the things I would still need money for, regardless of which items and services I could get in trade.

    Suddenly I realized I had limited my ability to imagine what could be by immediately fixating on what I assumed couldn’t. By jumping to what didn’t sound realistic, I paralyzed myself before I had a chance to visualize a new reality.

    I suspect a lot of us do this often. In the process, we snuff out our enthusiasm before we get to see how far it could take us.

    Just because we envision something, that doesn’t mean it will manifest as we saw it–but it won’t even have a chance if we don’t let ourselves dream. Dreaming leads to planning leads to doing leads to creating. Why not dare to dream?

    Today if you find yourself limiting your visions, ask yourself: What amazing possibilities could I create if I forgot about what sounds realistic?

    Photo by @sahxic < twitter

  • Tiny Wisdom: On the Power of Dreams

    Tiny Wisdom: On the Power of Dreams

    “The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” -Harry Kemp

    A while back, I found a research study that revealed a lot of trust fund babies end up struggling with depression. Since they don’t need to work to earn a living, many of them feel a sense of emptiness and purposelessness.

    Even with all the money they could ever need, they often feel that their lives are lacking.

    I’m sure most of us wouldn’t mind a little extra money to play with, but there is no wealth like the joy of having passion and intention.

    When you have a dream, you have something put your heart into. You have something that you believe is larger than you. You have something to create, little by little every day.

    A dream is an opportunity, not just because of where it could lead, but because of what it allows you to do and feel on the way there. When you throw yourself into something you love, the output is as rewarding as the outcome.

    Today if you feel like your life is lacking, ask yourself: What is your dream, and what you can create today to support it? Fulfillment isn’t something you get. It’s what you feel when you put your heart into something you believe in.

    Photo by thrillseekr

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Committing and Achieving

    Tiny Wisdom: On Committing and Achieving

    “Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill

    If you’re anything like me, you probably noticed at some point in your life that you’re not the best at everything.

    Maybe it was when you were pushing yourself to accomplish something, or maybe you noticed someone else’s achievements and started making comparisons. However it looked in your experience, you probably recognized that there are people who are smarter, better educated, and more talented than you are.

    Maybe this slowed you down in pursuing the things that matter to you. If other smarter, more knowledgeable, more gifted people have tried and failed, why would you succeed?

    But that logic disregards the undeniable truth that we all have the same capacity to commit and persevere, regardless of our skills. We may all have different gifts, but we all have the same ability to believe in ourselves, apply ourselves, and impress ourselves by how much we can grow when we keep going.

    We all have the potential to improve, little by little over time, and, in doing so, create endless possibilities for what we can do and become.

    Of course this all depends on our ability to focus on our own progress without comparing it to someone else’s.

    Today if you feel unsure of what you bring to the table, remind yourself: Your job is to keep showing up. You can’t possibly be someone else’s best, but you can consistently redefine your own if you’re willing to stay in the game.

    Photo by magical-world

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Getting Un-stuck

    Tiny Wisdom: On Getting Un-stuck

    “What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” -Buddha

    We all have goals–things we’d like to accomplish and ideas of who we’d like to become through the process. But sometimes we get so bogged down in fears and self-doubt that it’s hard to commit to the changes we want to create and then work toward them consistently.

    It’s not easy to do. When you’re faced with obstacles, you might get stuck. When you feel unmotivated or unsure, you might get stuck. When your goal seems too far out of reach, you might get stuck.

    And you can stay stuck if you want to. You can get sidetracked by other people’s opinions. You can talk yourself out of what you want, fearing failure or maybe even fearing success. You can limit yourself with stories of things that didn’t work out in the past.

    Or you can let go of everything that’s paralyzing you and decide that you’re not willing to let the now slip away and rob you of possibilities.

    Tomorrow has limitless potential if you’re willing to act today. It may even become something better than you knew to imagine, but it can only happen if you start and keep going.

    What tiny actions can you take today to contribute to that vision you want to create?

    Buddha nature

    This is an updated version of a post published on 9/14/2009. Photo by AlicePopkorn.

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Strangers

    Tiny Wisdom: On Strangers

    “Strangers are friends you have yet to meet.” -Unknown

    Since I live in LA and my family lives in Boston, I take long flights several times a year. During many of these flights, I read a book or watch a movie and disappear into my own little world of self-entertainment.

    When I was returning from a recent visit, I found myself looking around at all the different people who I would likely not talk to during the flight, and then never see again.

    We’d all share an experience together–and yet apart–and then move on with our lives, without making much of a discernible difference in each others’ worlds.

    After I drifted off to sleep, I dreamed that the plane crashed, but we all survived on an island, somewhat like on the show Lost. Suddenly, we weren’t strangers anymore. We were all people who needed each other–who, over time, started loving each other.

    Our sense of separateness disappeared as we realized our lives were easier when we worked together and looked out for each other.

    When I opened my eyes I saw everyone differently–as if we were all connected. Then I remembered that we are.

    It seems so trite to say that we are all brothers and sisters, but the truth is that we tend to form a lot of our closest relationships based mainly on proximity–meaning we could love entirely different people if we followed different paths.

    Today if you find yourself surrounded by strangers, feeling tempted to shut down, remember: These are all people with qualities that you could love. When we see each other in this way and then act on it, even brief encounters can make a meaningful difference.

    Photo by Akuppa

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Strength

    Tiny Wisdom: On Strength

    “Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” -Unknown

    Sometimes admitting that something is over can feel like defeat. After all, we hear a lot of messages that tell us to never give up–to hold on and keep fighting at all costs.

    But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know when it’s time to move on.

    You’ll know when a relationship no longer serves you, and you’re just staying because you’re too scared to leave. You’ll know when a job no longer makes you happy, but you’re staying because you think it will be hard to find something else. You’ll know when a business idea didn’t work, and it’s time to cut your losses and start the next thing.

    Somewhere inside you, you always know.

    You just have to stop ignoring the symptoms of your awareness or discontent, and decide it’s time to let go–of the relationship, the friendship, the job, the hobby, the idea, the religion, and in some cases, the illusion of something that you never even had to begin with.

    Today if you’re unsure whether you should hold on or let go, create space and stillness and then ask yourself: If you were fully honest about your motivations and needs, and not letting your fear choose for you, which choice would you make?

    Now all you need is the strength to make it. So the real question is: Are you strong enough to choose for your happiness?

    Photo by zedmelody

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Using Freedom

    Tiny Wisdom: On Using Freedom

    “We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.”  ~William Faulkner

    Let’s face it: In a world where work is a requirement, a lot of us will end up spending at least some time doing things we wouldn’t choose to do. If we’re passionate and determined, we can create a world where we work is enjoyable, and maybe even create the conditions to work fewer hours.

    But what’s important is what we do with the time we have on any given day.

    You might not be able to travel internationally right now, but you can visit a museum on your off day. You might not feel like you have enough time to write a book, but you can start writing a blog at night.

    When we choose to do, instead of lamenting what we can’t do, something miraculous happens: We start feeling more passionate and alive while planting seeds for positive change.

    Time is the ultimate currency in life, and it slips away, every minute, every hour, and every day regardless of how we choose to spend it.

    Today if you feel overwhelmed by all the things you have to do, ask yourself: How can I use the remaining time in a way that feels purposeful and joyful?

    Photo by Eustaquio Santimano

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Being Who You Want to Be

    Tiny Wisdom: On Being Who You Want to Be

    “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot

    I’ve talked to a lot of people who say that this is a lot easier to believe when you’re young–that it’s near impossible to believe anything is possible when there appears to be a lot less time left.

    But do we ever really know how much time we have? When we’re young, we’re not as conscious of our mortality and the unpredictability of life, but that doesn’t mean we’re immune from unexpected hardships. It just means that we don’t yet know to focus on them.

    The truth is that we change our mindset at any time. At any moment, we can focus solely on the experience of today, and decide that we deserve the joy and fulfillment of doing precisely what we want to do.

    On any day, we can stop fixating on the ticking clock that we can’t possibly control, and make this day count, regardless of what we’ve done on the days that have passed.

    We are the only people who can decide that we are not powerless, and we are the only people who can use our power to make today count.

    Who do you want to be today?

    Photo by Wonderlane

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What We Imagine

    Tiny Wisdom: On What We Imagine

    “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein

    For the past four weeks, I’ve been spending my off days at Disneyland. My boyfriend said that Walt Disney created something brilliant primarily because it gives the illusion of diverse experiences contained under one umbrella brand.

    In addition to exploring a variety of fantasy lands, a Disney guest can also experience the western frontier, New Orleans Square, Hollywood, and the remote jungles of Africa and Asia. He can ride a steam-powered locomotive, a monorail, a double-decker bus, and a horse-drawn streetcar.

    One day and $94 later, he feels he’s seen and experienced more life than he’d likely fit in the average year. My boyfriend said he’d read in a research study that people receive the same psychological benefits by visiting Disneyland as they do when they have the actual experiences. Yet it was just an illusion.

    What interests me about this is the extent to which we’re willing to imagine—to pretend—instead of actually doing.

    When we sit around watching Friends instead of going out to meet new people. Or see a romantic comedy instead of doing something romantic for someone we love. Or watch Eat Pray Love and feel like we’ve experienced something spiritual and transcendent.

    Sigmund Freud said, “Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead.” The same can be said for imagination if we never translate what we imagine into what we do.

    How can you give your imagination legs today?

    Photo by michellerocks

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What We Believe

    Tiny Wisdom: On What We Believe

    Believe

    “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

    Today I used the Twitter search functionality, looking for the phrase, “I believe in.” Here’s what I found:

    “I believe in love.”

    “I believe in magic.”

    “There must be another way because I believe in taking chances.”

    “I believe in people like me.”

    “I believe in life itself.”

    “I believe in dreams and that we control our destiny through our actions.”

    “I believe in the sun even if it isn’t shining.”

    “I believe in the words ‘never say never.’”

    There’s something kind of beautiful about watching affirmations of life stream down the page, one after the other, from people all over the world. Our beliefs shape everything we see, try, risk, and create.

    Our beliefs shape who are and who we might become.

    I believe love can transform almost anything. I believe in possibilities. I believe in impossibilities that suddenly don’t look that way anymore. I believe that it’s never over until it’s over. And I believe that every moment is a new opportunity to change your life.

    What do you believe in?

    Believe image via Shutterstock

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Where You’re Headed

    Tiny Wisdom: On Where You’re Headed

    “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

    One of life’s biggest challenges, I believe, is how to continually motivate yourself to keep going when you don’t yet know where your efforts are leading.

    You need to write part of the book to even open the path to getting it published, but you don’t know for certain that you’ll get a deal. You need to push yourself to work toward profitability with your business, especially when the odds feel insurmountable, but you can never know for certain that your venture will be a success.

    Some of the most satisfying accomplishments in life happen on the other side of uncertainty; but some of the most frequently missed opportunities for joy happen right in the middle of it.

    When you’re knee-deep in the creation process, when you’re meeting new people who will help shape your vision, when you’re learning about what you can do and feeling yourself and your world expanding, these are the moments that make the journey worthwhile.

    We can only appreciate them if we consent to be exactly where we are, regardless of where we hope to be.

    Today, if you feel overwhelmed by uncertainty about where your passion’s leading you, ask yourself: Where has my passion brought me? And how can I enjoy being in this place?

    Photo by Pedro Klien

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Choosing

    Tiny Wisdom: On Choosing

    “There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley

    Sometimes complaining, stressing, analyzing, and fantasizing can seem proactive, but they don’t actually change anything. Visualizing or planning may help you take action, but nothing changes unless you actually do.

    Today if you feel aggravated with your circumstances ask yourself these questions: Am I willing to do something to change them? And if not, what can I do to enjoy today instead of dwelling and letting it slip away?

    Photo by joiseyshowaa