Category: Motivation

Tiny Wisdom: How Far We’ve Come

“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” -Unknown

Though I write a lot about mindfulness, focusing on here and now, I think there’s something empowering about looking back and realizing how far we’ve come. I’m not just talking about our big accomplishments. I’m referring to the many tiny personal victories we often achieve without taking time to honor them.

The other day, after I arrived at my local coffee shop to work, my computer died. No battery, no power from the cord, no explanation—and no backed up files.

I have an entire unpublished book in my saved documents. Forget for a minute how foolish it was to not have saved this somewhere else. (I know!)

What mattered to me in that moment was that I did not freak out. I did not catastrophize as if it were a person I love who died, not just a computer. I didn’t need someone else to drive me to Office Max so I could have a panic attack in the passenger seat. At one point, I would have.

Once upon a time, when anything went wrong, I fell apart.

Responding calmly, for me, is a huge victory. So I decided to stop and celebrate that, to rejoice in how far I’ve come.

Life is always going to entail challenges, both expected and unforeseen. We can choose to measure our progress based on the circumstances we’ve improved—the benchmarks, the goals, the professional successes. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing the big external changes we’ve created.

But we can also celebrate our many personal successes—those times when we respond better and more wisely to a difficult situation than we would have years ago—and in doing so increase our odds of finding a solution.

My computer wasn’t completely dead. It turns out the battery and the cord both need to be replaced. There was a solution, but I was prepared to accept and deal if there wasn’t one, instead of getting down on myself.

So today I honor how far I’ve come in maintaining my composure when things go wrong. In what area of your life have you made significant progress, and have you taken time recently to celebrate it?

Photo by Jan Kromer

December 12, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Letting Go of the Stress of Rushing

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” ~Will Rogers

It was like a scene in a movie. I was waiting to cross the street while pedestrians were crossing the perpendicular one. A number of cars were piled up, with drivers waiting to turn when the people made it to the sidewalk.

Several impatient drivers honked, as if they didn’t understand why the first one wasn’t going. So that first guy stuck his head out his window and yelled at the pedestrians, “Come on—hurry up!”

Then one of them yelled back, “I’m &%*#ing pregnant %$*hole. So shut up!” (No swearing here—this is a family friendly place!) She was pregnant—visibly. Meaning that first driver either didn’t actually look at her, or knowingly yelled at a pregnant woman because people behind him were applying pressure.

This got me thinking about an accident I read about many years ago. Several cars were stopped, and a woman behind them couldn’t see why, so she sped into the left lane to pass them—fatally injuring a third grader who was crossing the street.

Both situations boil down to urgency—that need to keep moving, and quickly. This not only fills us with anxiety and compromises our judgment, it also affects everyone us.

It can cause us to be careless in ways that directly impact others, and it creates an environment of tension that creates stress for everyone within it.

It’s when the person serving customers feels the need to run because he can sense people in line are getting impatient (or worse, he’s responding to criticism from them). It’s when you don’t really hear what someone’s saying to you because you’re too busy thinking about what you want to get done—not later, but right now, instead of having to listen.

We might gain five minutes we could otherwise have lost. We might get a sense of accomplishment for finishing one extra item on the to-do list. We might feel a sense of control instead of having to stand still and feel stuck or unproductive.

But we might also lose our peace, our composure, and opportunities to really connect with other people.

Wherever we are, this is life—it’s happening right now. Do we really want to rush through it?

Photo by j / f / photos

November 1, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: The Benefits of Slow Progress

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Proverb

Sometimes it can be challenging to operate with complete integrity in business—particularly because bigger and faster can be seductive.

Case in point: I have a strong aversion to many traditional marketing methods, as I find much of it to be psychologically manipulative.

I feel it’s wrong to sell people things by playing to their deepest fears and insecurities, and implying my book or product will be the magic bullet they’ve been waiting for all their lives.

I also feel uncomfortable with the idea of personal branding, since a brand is an idea or image of a product or service, and human beings are neither of those things. We may sell products or offer services, but we are not commodities—even if consumers often buy based on who is selling to them.

But statistically, products and books presented as ultimate solutions, by individuals with polished personas generally sell better.

Now you might not hold the exact same perspective as I do, but you likely have your own set of beliefs and values that inform the decisions you make professionally—and they may occasionally hinder your progress.

When we act in complete integrity, we often end up advancing at a slower pace.

I remember when I was 23, knee-deep in a corrupt multi-level marketing company, oblivious to my team’s unethical practices. Everything changed the day I heard our leader suggest we look for “ignorance on fire”—new recruits who never questioned, but merely plowed straight ahead on the path of most profitability.

Thinking and questioning can slow progress—but maybe slow progress is exactly what we need. Slow progress allows us to adapt as necessary, learn at each step of the journey, and ensure that we’re honoring our ideals and actual desires, instead of pushing ourselves blindly in the pursuit of success.

I realize this idea isn’t universally applicable. When it comes to advancements that save lives, I absolutely support rapid progress. They couldn’t possibly come out with cures for cancer fast enough.

But when it comes to our own personal goals and ambitions, sometimes the most satisfying results come from a slow but steady journey with unwavering commitment to what we believe is right.

Photo by Akuppa

September 29, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: You Make a Difference
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” -William James

Last year, someone emailed me Seth Godin’s inspiring blog post You Matter. That one act made a huge difference in my day, so I’d like to build on that now.
- When you show up for the people in your life, even though you’re having a hard day, you make a difference.
- When you share what you’re dealing with, even though it makes you feel vulnerable, and help other people through your honesty, you make a difference.
- When you practice what you preach, you make a difference.
- When you honor your needs to create a sense of inner calm and well-being that permeates your interactions with others, you make a difference.
- When you cut yourself some slack so you can use your energy to love, create, and inspire, you make a difference.
- When you give people the benefit of the doubt, you make a difference.
- When you listen fully, instead of waiting to talk, you make a difference.
- When you focus more on being kind than being right, you make a difference.
- When you find beauty in the world around you and help other people see it, you make a difference.
- When you realize that your everyday actions are your greatest legacy, you make a difference.
Photo by Brent 2.0
August 28, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: How Criticism Helps You Excel

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -Aristotle

No matter what you’re trying to do, someone somewhere has a harsh opinion.

Maybe it’s a virtual stranger. Since the advent of the Internet, people can easily vent their judgments behind a cloak of anonymity. Most of the world’s successful people have a Google trail laced with negativity.

Or maybe it’s someone who’s supposed to have faith in you—your father doubts your aptitude for the legal profession, or your friend thinks your singing belongs in the shower.

Either way, it hurts. And you may lose steam as a result.

Don’t.

Barbra Streisand’s mother told her she wasn’t pretty enough to be an actress and her voice was inadequate, to boot.

Peers criticized Albert Einstein about everything from his looks to his intelligence as a child, yet he grew up to become the father of modern physics.

Many people in France considered Gustav Eiffel’s tower design an eyesore and wanted it torn down.

“They” aren’t always right.

If you come against criticism today, realize it’s a gift. Whether it’s a valid suggestion to help you improve, or a harsh judgment that reminds you to develop a thicker skin, it can help you get closer to your dreams.

*This is an updated version of a post from September, 2009. Photo by Jen and a Camera.

July 4, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On Risks and Rewards

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” -H. Jackson Browne

It’s safe. Familiar. Comfortable. Effortless. It doesn’t make waves. It’s what other people think you should do. You’re less likely to fail. Less likely to feel vulnerable. Less likely to question if it was worth the risk.

Whether you realize it now or not, it is. We tend to regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did.

On my first date with my boyfriend, I told him over dinner that I’d always wanted to go skydiving, even though I was afraid of heights. And I meant it–someday. As in someday far away, in a time when it suddenly seemed less terrifying. Someday came far quicker than I’d planned.

He told me that if I wanted to see him again, I’d have to jump out of a plane. So he took me skydiving on our second date. For days before, I considered backing out, especially after I tweeted about it and someone linked me to skydiving fatalities. Although I knew it would likely be safe, I was afraid of the inherent risk.

What pushed me through was the realization that I said I wanted to do it because I did. So I took it one moment at a time. I focused first on just getting in the car–that was all I had to do. Then next on going into the building. Then next on boarding the plane. Then next on jumping out.

What I didn’t plan was the last step–feeling more alive than I ever had before.

I took the risk one simple action step at a time, and though it didn’t completely take away the fear, it certainly pushed me through it. It was absolutely worth it. Nothing is more satisfying than actually doing what you’ve always said you wanted to do.

Get unsafe. Less familiar. Uncomfortable. Difficult. Make waves. Define expectations. Risk failing. Feel vulnerable. Be bold and courageous. No matter where it takes you, leaving your comfort zone–learning, growing, feeling alive–is always worth the risk.

Photo by magical-world

June 15, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On Getting Un-stuck

“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” -Buddha

We all have goals–things we’d like to accomplish and ideas of who we’d like to become through the process. But sometimes we get so bogged down in fears and self-doubt that it’s hard to commit to the changes we want to create and then work toward them consistently.

It’s not easy to do. When you’re faced with obstacles, you might get stuck. When you feel unmotivated or unsure, you might get stuck. When your goal seems too far out of reach, you might get stuck.

And you can stay stuck if you want to. You can get sidetracked by other people’s opinions. You can talk yourself out of what you want, fearing failure or maybe even fearing success. You can limit yourself with stories of things that didn’t work out in the past.

Or you can let go of everything that’s paralyzing you and decide that you’re not willing to let the now slip away and rob you of possibilities.

Tomorrow has limitless potential if you’re willing to act today. It may even become something better than you knew to imagine, but it can only happen if you start and keep going.

What tiny actions can you take today to contribute to that vision you want to create?

This is an updated version of a post published on 9/14/2009. Photo by AlicePopkorn.

May 4, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

“What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.

All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape instead of something to celebrate.

This moment is all we’re guaranteed. Don’t fill it worrying about being better or doing more in the world. Even if you spend today creating a tomorrow you visualize, go through it knowing you create a lot of value and happiness, just as you are. You might be amazed by how much you can accomplish when you’re satisfied with the present, exactly as it is.

Photo by xiffy

August 4, 2010
Tiny Wisdom: On Starting Anew

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

One of the greatest misconceptions in life is that we are somehow powerless to let go of what’s behind us. That we have to carry regret, shame, or disappointment, and that is has to dictate how today will unfold, at least on some level.

It doesn’t. At any moment, you can let go of who you’ve been and decide to be someone new—to do something differently. It won’t always be easy, but it is always a choice you can make.

You can either dwell and stay stuck, or let go and feel free. Give yourself space to fill with good feelings about the beautiful day in front of you—and the beautiful tomorrow you’re now creating.

Photo here

June 14, 2010